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For the benefit of my fellow CR friends, I’ll try to translate as much as I can. I’m not a professional though. It’s only one part of an extended topic on Jews and Kiruv world-wide. For the full picture you’ll need to get your hands on the complete spread, and read Yiddish.
“The Children Belong to All of Klal Yisroel
A discussion with Rabbi Avraham Newman Shlita, menahel of the Kalev branch in Modiin-Illit who coordinates activities in EY and France.
Can you give us an inkling regarding the number of immigrants you work with?
You have to realize that the Kalver Rebbe met with close to 75,000 Jews in France over the years. The Rebbe has maintained a connection with all of them!
How does that work?
In order to obtain a bracha from the Rebbe Shlita, one must complete a contact info. card. The Rebbe is in contact with every person 6-8 times a year, more often with the youth.
Where is more emphasis placed regarding the French Jews, in EY or France?
Until two years ago the French branch was active almost exclusively in France, to help Jews and strengthen their Yiddishkeit. However in the past two years we work hard in EY, mainly to ensure a Jewish education for the young children.
We have developed a program to help kids adapt in ehrliche mosdos and the goal is that their ascending to EY should not be an “Aliya” for the sake of yerida.
To be continued…
Avi K: no, the point was that peyos are not being cut nowadays, the methods are different but the end result is the same. Sorry if I wasn’t concise.
I’ll try to find the original article, it was a Yiddish article in Di Tzeitung and not online (the headline page is online, Di Yidishe Tzeit section – 2909b online, Nov. 29 ’15, Parshas VaYeitza.). From memory: they are encouraged to settle in irreligious neighborhoods. Children who went to religious schools in France go to so-called community schools in Israel. They are led to believe that since they are in a “Jewish” country they no longer need to actually practice Judaism.
A little off topic, I read an article a while back how the French Jews are being assimilated or made irreligious in Israel. This was from someone in the Kalever Rebbe’s organization. We’re not talking 1950s here, the article was in 2015.
He said, IIRC, something to the effect that unlike the Yemenite Jews there are no photos of boys having their peyos forcibly cut to wake up the frum world, but the end result is the same.
Maybe it’s time the mods come clean?
CTlawyer: I’m not going to argue with you about how you make your simchos, just wanted to throw in that your translation of “bilig iz teyer” made me smile…
And if you are making contributions in honor of the Chasunah, giving towards Hachnosas Kallah is a nice way to do it.
Apparently it’s not true
Thanks, I seem to be in smart company. But you mods first approved my previous post and then recanted. You need to practice working in sync…
agreed
I think the mods changed the numbers on us…
Health: didn’t you say (about a week ago) that you’re not trying to convince any girls to marry older guys since they think with their emotions? Anyway, this isn’t a dating site… And your negative opinions about others isn’t helping you here or IRL.
I think must Rebb’ish kids are proud of their status. It really depends on how good a job their parents did in instilling pride in them. It’s similar to Yiddishkeit when living really OOT or when frum kids went to Public School and stuck out. I understand it’s different to an extent because these things are family customs, not Halacha, but I hope you get my gist.
The other reason most Rebb’ish kids are indeed happy with their lot is because of the kavod and perceived higher status which sort of compensates for a harder lifestyle.
But regarding learning English, he can have boys in Yeshiva teach him or find another way if he really wants to, being Rebb’ish doesn’t mean he has to forgo that, IMHO.
Some of the greatest crooks are actually rich people with pressure to keep the money flowing so it’s not so simple as to who has the bigger nisoyan to cheat.
Also, while I’m not advocating for a smell test, when one has a trial by JURY, smell tests unfortunately are sometimes part of the equation. The perfect example would be all the ethics scandals swirling around New York State lately. While I haven’t been following any of those close enough to know all the nitty-gritty, from cursory reading of the news it seems a lot of the stuff being alleged are not a matter of simple black or white regarding legality.
On the other hand, when a prosecutor wants to “get” someone, he too is in my opinion charging with crimes — as they say in Yiddish “aroisgezoigen fin finger” — in a shady matter.
Yeah I know I’m probably guilty. Sort of second nature I’m afraid to argue against the ridiculous.
Okay, so you didn’t approve my post.
I’ll just say this: I apologize Princess, bananas do have a little calcium, but as you mentioned above it’s healthy in many other ways.
Shmittah ones?
Bananas are known for being high in potassium and magnesium, which I rememebered — and while helping with calcium absorption they’re not calcium itself — so I googled it and Google said zero calcium. Maybe they rounded it down, but that’s my source. What’s yours?
The reason many of us are not cutting her some slack is because she’s bragging about her academic prowess and knowledge. Being humble is a nice Jewish virtue.
Finally spilling the beans…
I think you’re kidding yourself about a few things and hopefully you haven’t become too invested in him — but the best way to get him to come back leShem Shamayim is to have your Rabbi handle it. And if he comes back and resents you for it and can’t get over it t’ll be a korban you gave for Hashem and be a great zechus for you to find YOUR RIGHT SHIDDUCH as obviously it wasn’t meant to be.
But if he’s this perfect boy and comes back to live a perfectly religious life he’d be THANKFUL YOU BROUGHT HIM BACK AND NOT HOLD IT AGAINST YOU!
Again, I can’t stress enough how much you are blinded from seeing the truth so please discuss your feelings about him with someone competent.
And again since you apparently missed my post, bananas have zero calcium.
Please — regarding the other thread — your debating skills are not all that great so don’t over-estimate yourself.
As an educated young woman I’d assume you’d know that “intervention” is usually “painful” for the “patient” but must be done nonetheless. (I know we’re talking about ruchnios but the principle still holds true.)
The fact that your likability with him registers higher on your radar than his tachlis, which was supposedly the premise for your posting here speaks volumes.
Many Rabbis won’t get involved unless the person makes the initial contact since they want to know there’s who to work with, so you’re VERY LUCKY you got a Rabbi to go on campus first. Grab the opportunity!
And finally, did this Rabbi recommend you get involved personally?
Princess: besides for all the other parts of your non-sensical post I’d expect an acedemic genius studying bio-chemistry and what not to know that bananas have zero calcium.
Princess: the more you rationalize this the more personal it probably is for you, and the more you post here your texting style reveals that you actually are pretty young. No offense we were all young once…
But try to take yourself out of the equation and contact your Rav – I think you mentioned him on another thread. Or find someone else.
Right, and that was the sense I was using it in, as this situation is more practical than academic. Once you start practicing what you’re studying for you’ll realize I’m right and not everything that’s on paper is actually perfect in any given situation. Sechel Hayusher definitely increase with age if one is willing to learn from their experiences. And that’s why we respect our elders despite our young minds thinking we know better…
Right, because I believe slave owners used that term very negatively to refer to Blacks so it became a no-no.
But if I’m speaking Yiddish, there’s no other word to use to describe the color black whether I’m referring to a person or something totally innocuous. (The Hebrew options are worse, at least when speaking Yiddish, except that they might be less obvious to outsiders.) I sometimes fear saying “I bought a black coat” in Yiddish on the subway as Blacks may become offended since the word has been made taboo.
Common sense is always in order and should trump political correctness.
Princess: sorry, but it seems you’ve been outnumbered here by people mostly older and dare I say wiser than you. I really hope that counts for something in your mind. If not, (since we are after all anonymous posters) as I mentioned earlier ask a shaila from someone you trust. Don’t act unilaterally.
In all fairness though I never considered the word “shvartze” when speaking Yiddish to be any more offensive than the word “black” — which it means. All these words are very literal and depend a lot on intention, inflection, context, and often as in Health’s case here perception.
We’ve become a little over-sensitive and while I can understand someone becoming offended for being referred to as a spinster or alte bucher, it’s not the same as saying you don’t want your family member to be assigned to spinsterhood or become a spinster.
So wow, for a change (besides for his anti-Zionist stance which I mostly agree with) I find myself in agreement with Health!
The term “alte bucher” is just as derogatory or worse and is used somewhat regularly here with inpugnity. Just saying…
To claim that morphine has more medical benefits while ignoring the fact that it definitely has greater risks — including death by overdosing — is really acting like a blind FDA stooge.
There is no general answer. Each Gemach is different, but nowadays I believe many sell clothing in really bad condition to third world countries by the pound. (It’s probably what the “other fabrics” used in stuffing etc. which gives us shatnez nightmares is.)
So you need to ask what their criteria is. Some so called Gemachs are really businesses — or so it seems. You might not care if you are dumping real junk, as you are giving a Yid parnassah, but feel free to ask where the money — as that is what it boils down to — goes.
I didn’t say you’re not spiritual, just not mature in years nor strong enough in your Yiddishkeit (the example I used was Rebbetizin Jungreis) which only comes with age, fighting nisyonos, learning halachos and hashkafa, loads of siyata diShmaya — and preferably marriage to take away your gullibility.
You are not an unbiased bystander to judge if you were effected or not. But even if you’re right — this boy knows that what he’s doing is wrong — it’s not a simple matter to dissuade him for someone inexperienced in dealing with OTD kids.
You mentioned he has sisters, do you think they haven’t tried everything to bring him back? Most likely if you mention anything to him he’ll either become confrontational or invite you to join them. As a frum girl you CAN NOT OFFER HIM WHAT THESE GIRLS ARE OFFERING! I really don’t know why you’re looking for trouble. If you feel guilty doing nothing ask a shaila if you should notify his parents or siblings who he’s he’s going out with.
MsPrincess: your life (in this case ruchniois) takes priority over his. So it’s a non starter. Now if you were older and someone stronger in Yiddishkeit like Rebbetzin Jungreis I’d say go for it…
RY: statistically women live longer than men, so if one spouse should be older, it’s the woman…
A lot of the pressure is self inflicted. We can all try to buck the trend to see if we’ll survive…
I don’t understand why some of you are becoming defensive. Ask yourself if you can (usually) recognize a kollel yungerman (one that’s actually learning of course) of at least a few years from someone that is working a while — just by the eidelkeit on his face and his conduct.
There’s no question that Torah purifies, and whether or not someone is doing the right thing given his situation doesn’t detract from the fact that for the most part legitimate Torah learners are actually — yes I’m saying it — holier. And it’s pretty obvious, if he hasn’t tainted himself with other pursuits.
Life is life, but despite the necessity of our choices, the good effects of learning are not to be denied. And yes temimos is a good thing.
PBA: if you’re serious a bridge is meant to be over water, while an overpass is generally over a highway or perhaps road. So the water must be pretty high…
Health: you’re being too intellectual with this issue. You won’t convince any young marriageable women here, so just face reality…
Joseph: I think technology has moved far beyond emails for communication that can be un-kosher. So I don’t know why you decided to make everyone aware of this now. Quite frankly you’re barking up the wrong tree, most likely in the wrong forest. Just my two cents.
Joseph: If by more Yeshivish you mean more frum I believe Bais Rochel of Monsey used to fit the bill, but I think it’s become more Chasidish. And IIRC they teach in Yiddish.
LF: the OP is complaining about exactly the opposite scenario
Joseph: I’m sorry but this makes no sense. If polygamy will happen few and far between as you say, it can not solve the shidduch crisis in any case, so why bother. And even if you say we just need 5% – which is a pretty decent number – to go ahead with it (assuming these people are perfectly screened candidates and are ready, able and willing) the children born from such marriages will most likely still feel like second class kids and will not be happy about it. We can’t ask them to vote…
Joseph: I don’t know why we’re even discussing this, as this is really a non issue, but I’ll humor you, so let’s see:
1) any unmarried woman here above 26 or the parent of one, please give us your vote: If polygamy were mainstream, would you consider becoming (or encourage your daughter to become) someone’s second wife? Yes or No. Please specify if you’re the parent.
2) if you are a married woman, would you allow your husband to marry another woman if polygamy were mainstream? Please vote Yes or No.
Thanks everyone. Please no trolling.
RY: those many people are not the ones we are discussing with the shidduch crisis – and it’s definitely radical in these circles.
I believe marrying ones’ pet will become legal before polygamy, but so far it’s illegal and irrelevant.
Joseph: I sincerely hope you’re joking. Besides for the inherent problems with polygamy for Jewish men, women and children, it’s illegal in most of the Western world. And we’re not even welcome in Yemen…
You lose your limited credibility here when you advocate for such radical ideas.
But then again, you are Joseph….
Some people have real “Kohen” type names but are not Kohanim as sometimes in our history women couldn’t marry legally and stayed with their maiden names.
Who should stop litigating everything? In this great country of ours the “minhag” is if one gets sued they counter-sue. Hence the vicious cycle here. I don’t think we can enforce a no suing the Board of Ed policy for parents of special Ed children that don’t get the placement they want, Preserve Ramapo ” tzaddikim” that don’t fargin the frum anything, or parents of PS children that want drama etc. reinstated.
Daas Yochid is usually spot on so I’d say yes.
After reading bits of Dennis Walcott’s report in the WSJ and elsewhere, everyone makes note that PS students are mostly minority, poor and immigrants. I’m wondering what the per capita income is for the East Ramapo private school Jewish community vs. the PS community. Anyone have any info in this regard?
Flatbusher: please lighten up… Better days are coming.
What, we have no Rockland pundits here to expound on this?
Comlink: I saw that, which didn’t really make any sense, and I saw other sites indeed state that he had no children, so I wrote “if”.
I don’t know the ramifications of this but just in at the Hamodoa “Ramapo Drama: Aron Wieder Resigning as Rockland Democratic Leader”
I understand he’s still remaining as Legislator, but will no longer head the majority Democratic Legislature. He announced at a news conference that he is doing it not as a protest but to remove himself from being a distraction regarding the school board’s independence.
I’ll leave the floor to the pundits…
ZDad: Chasidim generally marry between 18 & 20. 17 is NOT THE NORM in the US.