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Joseph, DY, CTL: I am not trying to argue nor “bash the gift slinging”. To be honest, we do not have the means to totally conform to what others get and our children know that.I did not buy my SIL a shas. We did not buy the shaitels for our DIL’s but did for our daughter.
I had to replace the retzuos on my tefellin shel rosh two years ago. It cost $30 by a reputable sofer here in Flatbush.
My shver did not buy me a shas or a watch and somehow I still married his daughter.
Joseph: the Leichters are generally purchased by the chossons side sometime between the engagement and the chasunah. It is almost the equivalent of the kallah a side buying the Tallis and kittel
Is the kallah having a shabbos kallah? if not, then flowers may or may not be needed. As for the leichters, it is normally purchased by the chosson’s side but I know where the kallahs grandmother wanted to but the leichters.
OP: Engagement ring?
CTL: The wedding is Erev Shabbos?
A613: Not that ZD needs my help, but he is repeating an old adage. He did not say don’t help just that this is a domestic dispute and in those types of situations listening to one side does not give he full picture.
As for whether this falls under PIDYON SHVUIM, only Daas Torah/Poseik can make that determination. There is no mention of any Rabbonim or organizations one can go to to get information.
again it falls under CHANOCH HANAR AHL PIDARKO. Each child is different and one has to know and understand his/her child before making this decision. Some of my children dormed out-of-town; others went to local Mesivtas. We did allow each child to give their opinion on whether they wanted to dorm. With 20/20 hindsight, dorming was right for some of those who dormed; for one, dorming was not the correct choice.
I agree that those who dorm generally have less distractions then those at home.
What are the warning signs that you should notice over an off Shabbos or Bein Hazemanim?
I am far from an expert but sleeping late, missing minyan, and not learning may be some of the signs. A reluctance to pack to go back to yeshiva. One of my sons would come home for Bein Hazmanim with his schedule of chavrusas for the time off from yeshiva all planned out and talk about what the yeshiva was planning to learn next zman.
GadolH: Are you talking about this thread or in Klal Yisroel in general? I for one agree with you. My children know that I am not in a position to support. Most of my older children work at least part time.
Joseph: I don’t know if there is a “typical” path. One of my son’s learnt in the Beis Medrash of the Yeshiva where he went to Mesivta. His “American” RY suggested that he and some other talmidim would do well in EY and made all the arrangements to have them accepted to a certain yeshiva. They all learnt in EY for 2-3 years. My son came back for one zman to BMG, was redd a shiiduch that was B”H successful and has returned to his yeshiva in EY.
Another of my son’s also learnt out-of-NY for High School and went to Beis Medrash of the Yeshiva where he went to Mesivta. He then returned to NY and learnt in a Yeshiva in Queens (not Chofetz Chaim) for 3 years and then was hired by an out-of-town yeshiva as a dorm monitor/tutor.
DY: 1. Rosh Yeshiva in EY tells talmid not to go to BMG.
That just shifts the question to the RY.Maybe….but Joseph didn’t ask that. He asked why a certain bochur would choose another option. His RY told him not to.
You also wrote: “but I think the number 1 reason would be wanting a smaller yeshiva, with athe opportunity to gain a kesher with the rosh hayeshiva.”
I have personal experience with a certain RY in Eretz Yisroel (who has a reputation for knowing every bochur in his yeshiva) who prefers his talmidim not go to BMG due to its size. He feels that a smaller yeshiva will help the bochur be able to develop with the Rosh Yeshiva / Maggid Shiur.
DovidBT: Many FFB are taught not to say certain things (especially to non-observant yidden) since it will now put the non-observant in a position of “meizid” (intentional) instead of “shohgeig” (inadvertent).
As for non-jews, if you tell them it’s “We do this because it’s a commandment from G-d” they will generally respond “but it doesn’t say that in the Bible”. Do you really need to then get into a discussion abut Torah Shel Ba-peh?
LB: 14. Does he eat his latkes with applesauce or sour cream?
What if the answer is – milchig meal sour cream, fleishig meal applesauce?
SY:
Here is how I would answer for my son:
what is his favorite app? Doesn’t use a smartphone. Uses an old fashioned flip phone and barely knows how to text.
what time does he turn his phone off before Shabbos? He learns in EY and to our knowledge he has to be in Yeshiva 1 hour before candle lighting (and he can’t take take the phone to yeshiva)
what time does he turn it back on after Shabbos? Don’t know. We don’t talk to him until Sunday morning here in the US.
what does his mom do that bugs him the most? Nothing…he is dan lkaf zechus that whatever she does is for a good reason.
what is his favorite nosh? probably crackers with herring
what kind of instant coffee does he drink? When he is in the US….whatever we buy.
does he leave wrappers on hiking trails and public parks? He is to busy shteiging away
if so, does he make sure they aren’t heimish brands? NA
However, since he recently got married…..his wife does text us.
and your point about targum…..the OP was talking about the hebrew word.
We are not talking about societal niceties. dictionary dot com has various definitions for “dear”.
1. beloved or loved: a dear friend.
2. (used in the salutation of a letter as an expression of affection or respect or as a conventional greeting):
Dear Sir.
3. precious in one’s regard; cherished: our dearest possessions.
4. heartfelt; earnest: one’s dearest wish.
5. high-priced; expensive: The silk dress was too dear.
6. charging high prices: That shop is too dear for my budget.
7. excessive; high: a dear price to pay for one’s independence.I would think that the word HAYAKAR used after the name would probably be “the precious” and not “the dear”.
Joesph: You also wrote: Someone can be of poor income and 100% legally qualify for SNAP, WIC, Section 8, etcetera, while family members provide them nice decent clothing and pay for them to travel to Eretz Yisroel for a simcha or whatever.
Yes family members can pay for certain things……but gifts over a certain amount are also taxable and are supposed to be included in income.
joseph” you wrote ” Did you notice that the prosecutor illegally tipped off the media before the arrests to go to the specific personal home addresses to take pictures of the arrests?”
Please tell me under what Federal or NJ State statute that states it is illegal?
I took EH 165:4 to be Shulchan Aruch Even Haezer 165:4 but that has to do with a yevama not wanting to marry a yavam as he has a “mum” or “Mukas schin”.
http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=9728&st=&pgnum=203
GadolH: In this case I disagree with you. The original letter from the OK that just said that this establishment was no longer certified by their agency. It did note use any code words at all. You believe that the OK should have stated their reason. In this case their may not be any real issue as it (IMO) is a sefek sfeika…did the worker use the oven and if yes was the food he put in their kosher or treif. Since the OK could not make a determination it just said we are no longer the certifying agency.
Based on what I have read, the owner used the “code words” personal reasons; the OK responded with the “code words” violating their protocols.
Avi K: The question of course is what’s a “minor” issue and what’s a “major” issue? We had an issue with one of my children that was I wouldsa is a “major” issue. Still we were advised not to say anything until the shidduch became “serious” (in this case after the 4th date). B”H the shidduch came to fruition.
The Dunkin Donuts in the Five Towns is under the hashgachah of the Vaad of the 5 Towns and the Rockaways. It is known that the mashgichim do visit the establishment on Shabbos.
Comedian Alan King used to say: Breathing air may cause cancer. Are you going to stop breathing?
I do not know if you have any children in the shidduch parshah or not. But to state in such strong terms “So shame on you to discrimnate against such precious righteous people” is IMV harsh. How do you know that the “other side” didn’t consult a Rav and he advised them not to pursue the shidduch? Should they go against Daas Torah?
zd: I was speculating if the landlord informed the tenant about the work, did the tenant contact the OK for guidance? I was not trying to imply that the landlord didn’t have the right to have the necessary work done.
DovidBT: If the landlord told his tenant (the pizza store) about work being done on the Shabbos and they arranged for witnesses as you suggest then videos would not be needed. That of course leads to the next level of speculation: Did the landlord actually inform the tenant about the work? If yes, did the tenant ask the OK for guidance in this situation? Did the OK give them any guidance? Unfortunately, we can “yenta” all we want. We don’t have any of the important facts.
damoshe, chillngrill, zd: I have no reason to doubt what you have written. If that is the case, the OK’s original letter that just says we are removing the hashgachah is (IMHO) reasonable.
There is a famous story of a grocery store in Cleveland (i think it was in the 1960’s or 1970’s) that word went out about work being done on the air conditioner system on Shabbos and people shouldn’t buy there. The owners went to Rav Gifter Tzatzal who contacted the repairman and asked about the repair work. The repairman told Rav Gifter that all the work was done on the roof and since the store was closed on Saturday he wouldn’t be inconveniencing any customers and would be the best day to do the repairs. For the next week Rav Gifter went everyday to purchase something from this store.
Recycle, reorder, reject, return, reissue, reward, reword, rewrite, refill, rejoice, recline, reverse
I don’t know about Catholic schools paying better or not. I can tell you that one of my former co-workers paid less per child as her children entered the school. Let’s say tuition for one child was $5,000. When her second child enrolled it dropped to $4000 per child and when her third child entered school it dropped to $3000 per child.
Joseph: To clarify, if opening a package in a supermarket that you intend to pay for is allowable, then I think a small child eating a small snack in a supermarket (public) is allowable but for an adult it may not be considered refined.
GadolH: You wrote ““As to the price of canned tuna versus fresh tuna, most of us don’t purchase food for our families based on finding the cheapest option available, unless of course, that’s also ‘your preference’.””
Maybe you can offered Filet Mignon, Rib Steaks and Fresh Tuna every night. Unfortunately, I can’t. So yes, I do have to go with a cheaper (not necessarily “cheapest”) option for my family. Should I serve chicken at $1.99 – 2.59/LB or Rib steak at $8.99 – 10.99/LB or Tuna at $20.00/ LB?
As for my taste for meat either medium or well done. I don’t tell you how to cook yours; why do you have the right to tell me how to cook mine? That restaurants don’t serve well done is not my issue. I don’t frequent them anyway.
It might depend on if it is a child or adult that is eating in public.
If it is fruit that has to be weighed it probably is not allowed. However, a bag of cookies or potato chips that has a bar code might be muttar especially if the store owner knows that this practice is going on and allows it.
SH and SY: While in the case of SH’s daughter, the ban came after something happened. Many schools today don’t wait for that child; the ban is in place without even having a child with sensitivity to peanuts even enrolled. This way nobody gets singled out.
LB: And what about rolls that only have vegetables and no fish? I can still have sushi in the house as well as any type of couple I choose to invite.
Godolhadorah: I don’t mindlessly asked for meat well done. It’s my choice. I prefer my meat cooked, not “MAACHOL BEN DRUSAI”.
As for Tuna, canned tuna $1.00 to $1.50 for 4 oz drained ($6.00/LB). Fresh Tuna – Freunds – $20/LB
Joseph: My grandmother made gefilte fish. She also served boiled carp. It says in my shabbos zemiros BASAR VDAGIM VCHOL MATAMIM. It does not say sushi, gefilte fish, tuna fish, whitefish (etc) nor does it say flanken, pastrami, lamb. It is whatever the individual likes to eat. My children know that we eat fish at every shabbos seudah. While we serve gefilte fish, they know that they can buy sushi if they want it, just like if they want whitefish they can buy it. Moshe Rabbeinu came down from Har Sinai with the luchos, not gefilte fish or smoked salmon.
LB: And what about Planters, Skippy, Jif, Smuckers etc? No one company controls the peanut industry.
joseph: That is why I took the light bulbs out. Personally, I have never heard from any of my neighbors or friends that the tape became unglued or “somehow the light came on”.
2qwerty: I have heard from a frum repairman that most modern fridges use a timed cycle for the compressor as opposed to the older models that a rise in temperature caused the compressor to go on.
Are you referring to old fashioned bulbs that can be removed or the new fridges with LED lights that can’t be removed? Does the fridge have a shabbos mode that keeps the lights off?
When I had a fridge with the old fashioned bulbs I removed the bulbs after it was installed. On another model I used velcro to keep the switch in place.
Pinchas: I don’t understand your question. The OP wants to know what someone would say to the woman. I replied that I wouldn’t say anything to her and I gave my reason why I wouldn’t say anything to her. I added that I would say something to a potential shidduch.
LB: If I would meet such a woman I wouldn’t say anything. Women are not obligated in the mitzvah of “multiplying”, it is an obligation on the man. However, if I knew such a woman I would let any potential shidduch know about her feelings.
LB: I don’t know about “people”. it is not done in my family.
DY: The psak I was given from my Rav was to have the coffee grounds in the filter before shabbos. I don’t know about poskim.
Goan – The mechaber disagrees. He states in 319:9 that as long as the sediments (in this case the coffee grounds) are prepared before Shabbos it is Muttar to pour water over it. (as explained by my LOR when I discussed this issue with him during Chol Hamoed). Prior to pouring the water it is not a mixture and it never becomes a mixture.
Yes..as it is base on a halachah in Siman Shin Yud Tes Sif Tes and Yud. I asked about this Pesach time. Basically, the coffee grounds are in the filter before Shabbos and pour water from a Kli Shlishi over it.
http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=49625&st=%D7%A9%D7%99%D7%98&pgnum=282
http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=49625&st=%D7%A9%D7%99%D7%98&pgnum=283
Health: If you look at my posts in this thread I never once wrote anything against EN! All I have done was try to defend Hatzaloh against your biased opinions.
You wrote: That I say everyday! That isn’t an attack on women. There are a lot of P’shatim. Get yourself a Frum education!
Where in the world did I say that making the brocho Sheloh asani ishah is an attack on woman? You stated in post 1294219 “The two of you sound like some women”. I was directly replying that I am a man, not a woman, so and therefore say the brocho sheloh asani ishah. And I have a pretty good frum education as well as a secular one.
Talk about a personal attack! I make the Brocha sheloh asani ishah.
Defend EN all you want; just don’t bash Hatzaloh.LB: You are very close. The Mishna Berurah in 91:12 sates that “in our time, one should wear a hat on his head like he goes in the street, and not just with the ‘small hat’ that is under the hat because that is not the way people stand in front of important people” meaning that people did not go into important meetings without a hat on.
http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=49623&st=&pgnum=244The question is, can we now state that since in our time it is more of the norm to go with only a yarmulke can one daven without a hat? In my shul we have those who wear hats and those who only wear yarmulkes.
wingnutlb: I wear a black hat as do others in my shul. Some where blue or grey hats. Some (especially in the summer) wear the white straw hats. And some only wear a kippah with no hat. BTW, I daven in a shul in Flatbush.
joseph: I can’t tell fromm the OP if he doesn’t wear a hat at all or only doesn’t wear a black hat.
Health: You are missing the point. The Stamar Rov did not state to start an ambulance service. He told Mr. Weber and others to get trained and call the organization Hatzaloh. The realization that Hatzaloh would need to be able to not only assist as responders but to also be able to transport came out as a result of the calls they responded to. Please stop trying to rewrite history. It did not start out as ambulance service but as a “first responder” service.