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Housewife: If you can’t afford paying your tuition, why don’t YOU personally raise funds for the school at least for the amount of your tuition cost, this way the school will get paid their dues.
Aposhutayid: Are all these older boys you’re refering to really interested in getting married?? then what’s taking them so long?? maybe they’re picky about girls’ looks?? maybe they’re fishing too much in the market of young 19-20 year old girls whom appeal more to them??
And, if you can ‘claim’ that you know some of these boys pesonally enough to attest that at least a’few’ of them are not picky at all and are just waiting for a shadchan to call them with a name of a decent older single who’s ready to go out with them; then there is obviously ‘issues’ with these particular boys that are hindering their ability to getting dates with decent girls. Do you suggest that some older single girls should be set up and marry these few boys with real ‘issues’??
Boys have to get into their heads that they have an option of marrying before leaving off to EY, then there will finally be an end/great relief to the ‘Shidduch Crisis’. The problem is that boys just pick themselves up automatically and leave to EY without even giving consideration to any other option, and of course they don’t at all involve their roshei yeshiva in their hastily made decision of traveling off to EY!
BP Totty: Being a shadchan, I would estimate that around 30% percent of returnees go to learn in [post EY] yeshivos outside Lkwd. In this estimated figure i’m including boys who return from EY at a younger age of 19-20 and continue with learning/attending college at night for a few years before marriage. Actually, the percent is currently rising due to several new [post EY] yeshivos which have opened up recently.
BP Totty: I’m agree with you that we are not tuned into the importance of preparing our sons for marriage with regard to developing their maturity level/making them into a mentch, in the same way we are tuned in towards our daughters.
However, with regard to the reason why nobody is against boys-EY, I would go with choice A: People want to believe in the illusion that everyone/most boys in EY are shteiging away, since to think/believe otherwise would be considered as thinking too cynical.
Additionaly, girls remaining home that year can actually help prepare them for marriage, however boys remaining home will not contribute to their maturity, as they will regardless remain in yeshiva all day learning w/o dealing at all with their future responsibilities in upcoming marriage.
Jewish and working: I think i’ll just leave it for AZ to answer you, if he feels that he has a need to. I think AZ is doing a great job solidifying awarness of the crisis facing our Bnos Yisroel. By the way AZ that was a great post you posted today about Muslim countries. I guess the age gap problem is not a theory but rather an established fact in the secular world.
Hello99: the age gap theory has been widely accepted as reality throughout the Yeshiva world. I have seen myself actual statistics of the remaining girls over 25, obtained from the principals and teachers of the Bais Yaakov across America and they were far higher tan 5% (somewhere between 10-13%). Just ask anyone out there and they will tell you many single girls are scattered all over. In Brooklyn alone there are hundreds of girls in their thirties rotting away alone in rented basements in Brooklyn, without any social network, who have already given up calling shadchanim.
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Mox: I think our community is by now well aware of crisis facing our singles. I don’t see why it’s so relevant to verify the exact number of our annual population growth, and the exact number/percent of remaining girls. We would serve CR members much favor if we would discuss ‘solutions’ (without the context of the ‘crisis’)like by discussing the extra qualities of an older girl, and how it might be beneficial for some boys to marry little youger, instead of debating actual statistics, and hammering in the reality of the crisis every day. This over excessive ‘crisis talk’is only causing people to get depressed, and more anxious. Let’s try to keep peoples’ mood positive and optimistic, this way everyone will be encouraged to do their share in trying to help out in the current matzav, and not just give up in despair and panick to make their sure their own daughter is ‘saved’ from the crisis.
Liberia as a country might have the highest percentage growth rate, what we’re dealing with here is ethnic groups within a country. The chareidi birthrate here and in Israel is among the highest in the world with an average of around 7 siblings per family which equals at least 3.5 percent growth using the most conservative estimates. documented Israeli statistics, which show between 4-4.5 annual growth rate for the chareidim community there.
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Hello99: “AZ “(the age gap is) Clearly the Primary cause of having so many older singles”
Not true as has been demonstrated statistically in other threads.”
Do you know what 5.5% of remainig singles mean (quoting you from your words on your other thread)? That’s equivalent to over 50 girls per year as there are atleast 1,000 girls entering the market per year. Over 10 years that equals 500 girls r”l. Who cares if its the ‘primary’ cause or not??
“It is something that is eminently solvable.”
Sure, be either dramatically increasing the divorce rate or by eliminating post high school Yeshivos with everyone’s “good ideas”. I think I’d prefer this crisis”
On a different note. The birth rate of the chareidim and of arabs are from the highest in the world (i refer to ethnic groups within a country). I wouldn’t e surprised if the growth rate in our community is even 4.5 percent. Just look at how the American Yeshivas in Israel for post Bes Medrash Bochurim keep multipying from year to year.
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