icemelter

There are quite a few, a good one is on 12th avenue between 43rd and 45th street.

jj- you cant judge the victims/survivors of the holocaust. What they saw there would make anyone go mad.

Joseph-thats exactly my point. Besides its the same concept as when we say “עשה למענך אם לא למעננו” also “עשה למענך והושיענו”
There are disputes though if we need to be involved and mezarez the Geula or if its not our business to intervene and meddle with the keitz….but for both opinions we for sure must wait regardless.

Yossi- Israel for the time being seems to be within our possession, but that too seems to have been a forced move. Pretty much all Gedolei Yisrael and Rebbe’s were opposed to creating a state of Israel whether they still opposed after the establishment of it or not. Besides Israel was in our possession many times and we have lost it many times. So is it really a step towards Moshiach? When the time is right even if it had been occupied it would have been no problem for Hashem to take it over again.

Jj-all the suffering must be mechaper for something no? Besides isn’t one of the prophecies that Yidden would no longer be able to endure the suffering and cry out to Hashem and then Moshiach would arrive?

Another point is you would think if the world would end as we know it via war or whatever, a new era would begin? Hence the era of Moshiach…

kitzur- if the woman has a diploma it definitely does not mean that she is smart and he is not. I am trying to figure out the connection.

oyyoyyoy- You raise the point we are all trying to make, its exactly the reason why its a problem in our times that we have no choice but to deal with. And its not the smartphones per se, its the whole internet in general, exclusively social media and yes also smartphones which have the ability to run all kinds of social media and communications (whatsapp) on the go which exposes these girls to everything whether it is just a false sense of reality that someone is trying to portray, or anything similar.
The competition has no limits and people are constantly trying to show others how “fabulous” their life is.
This is a serious issue and prevents many shidduchim and negatively affects many marriages or even ruins them.
I give props to the chassidim in boro park and williamsburg who live such modest lives raising over ten kids in whatever conditions they need to since they know what really matters. If they need to use yiddishe organizations for assistance they do, aside from the husband working hard. I know that there are many chassidish people who are sitting real well on the wealthy side, but again I am not referring to those people.
The way I see it is as long as the guy is willing to work and has a decent job, it should not stand in the way of getting married if its a real match. To those girls who wont settle for any less than a doc or accountant and a life of “glamour”, I say good day.

Meno- “I was unemployed but I had a degree and a plan other than “I’ll figure it out”.

wow a degree and a plan, sure doesnt sound like, ill figure it out.
Now that i come to think of it, having a “degree” and a “plan” and being broke, is just so much better than having an actual job that brings in enough cash to support.

Meno- the time being meaning a good few years until kids start to actually get expensive. Also time being meaning guys work on getting better or higher paying jobs/positions simultaneously.

Noone knows what would happen in the future people can have great jobs and lose them too.This is where Bitachon comes in.
Another explanation for time being can be that until then, he can use his own money to support without even needing a cent from his wifes salary, when the time comes and more money is needed to support, then maybe she can use some of her precious dollars towards the family.
If it cannot be accepted that some good guys just have average jobs, i guess they just dont deserve to get married. עכשיו נודע הדבר.

And to all those posters giving personal advice, please keep it to yourselves. I didn’t start this topic to rant about my own life, rather the general picture of nowadays shidduch problem and many people I know who have encountered it. It is a known issue of how nowadays women disrespect men’s jobs if they are not up to their “standards”. Also many good hard working guys who are embarrassed to even look for a shidduch because they will be shunned down right away by either the shadchan or girl as soon as that question arises of “so what do you do”? And unfortunately, you don’t have to wait for more than a second after you’ve met to be asked that. I wonder what would happen if noone would ask until after 7 or 8 dates. Would the girl not care as much what the guy does if they gave the chance to see that they found a great guy but with an average or above average job and planning to move ahead in life as well? Makes me wonder.
And then the girls wake up to see they are over 30 and still single. Now let’s see them find their dream boy. Will they have many candidates?

Meno you were making 0$ a month, who did you marry, were you 18 or 19 when you got married so noone expected anything, do you come from a rich family and did your parents agree to support?

So even when a man has a respectable job and is a hard worker and able to support all on his own, its not good enough since he isnt some bigshot accountant or lawyer. Its just funny how women are all about these equal rights and think so highly of themselves with their fancy careers, but yet they still need the mans money, my money mine! Your money also mine!
What happened to building a family and growing together, I know the Torah is an old book but some of us still believe in it.

Good point gadolhadorah-. Especially the fact of educating. I mean at the end of the day unless your ultra extreme chassidish or chareidi, you just have to accept the fact that we use this for daily life and it’s not going away. Even the ultra extremest have issues curbing it from the communities..

And true, even physical cards are slowly phasing out. I guess now we’ll have to focus on what wallet (smartphone) we whip out.

“The only time I cringe, is when I see the fancily dressed woman with a fancy carriage buying all goodies and paying with foodstamps”

@teal- we had to go there didn’t we. Was the fancy looking woman also wearing a sheitel?

Wasn’t the menorah also shown of fire? Or was the gold just put in the fire?

I guess some things are just easier to manage than others. You can do real harm with a hammer or you can fix with it. But again how many people are tempted to go smashing things with a hammer? It’s just not shoved in your face like things that pop up online even on normal sites. Even going to a bank website you will see untznius pictures of women. Now you might say when you go outside you might also. True that’s a good point but outside you likely won’t stare and are also in a different mindset. Apparently it’s just unavoidable online. You can try blocking as much you can, but you most likely will come across many images and words in order to know to block those things as well. So it’s like taking the hit in order to fix.and I’m not one who is against internet use I realize we need it and it’s part of daily life at this point, but it’s a real shame that there’s really no way to not see images or content you don’t want to.

In a way it should be managed easier than tv since you choose what you want to see and what to search for, problem is even then things are always attached to everything like pests.

Still sketchy. To be honest forget tv and internet. All technology can and is used for negative purposes. So what is the spiritual meaning behind it all. And you cant really compare it to a knife which can be used for good or bad. Technology is just so much easier to use and is more tempting than going on a stabbing spree. I mean say for instance if internet makes it so much easier for one to watch a shiur or listen, why is there such a risk of stumbling on something negative while searching for it? Even if you watch a shiur or clip on YouTube, you are bombarded by recommended videos with non tznius titles or thumbnails. I guess it is what it is.

beisyosef “easily one of the dumbest questions I’ve ever seen in the CR.”
“And yes I’m from Flatbush and even there we don’t judge abt such stupidity (although we do judge when such questions are asked lol)”

– well that’s real nice. Also nice how the mods let those sincere comments through. I actuall replied with answers to you and blue cash, but hey it’s fair only for one person to be nasty. So we will never know why it’s called blue cash. Unless you pick up on it in my previous comment where I gave the reason for it. Obviously it was too deep for some to catch it though.

Zahava- I didn’t say you have to carry 2000 bucks. A few blue hundreds are enough to do the trick.

Icarisma- that’s the point, can credit cards leave an impression of debt life?

Ctlawyer- thats a creative solution, but that still doesn’t prove that you don’t have a problem holding on to a credit card. Most people who pay debit is because they don’t have a credit card. Besides it’s unwise to pay debit especially if you have a credit in case of dispute/rewards so that would definitely show that you don’t have a credit card because why else would you pay debit? I know funds are drawn right away if that’s your thing but your much safer using a credit card and paying right away if it makes you feel better.

Daas- your right I’m not saying to deliberately try to impress any date by the method you pay that’s why i specifically wrote if you are already in that moment you might as well know the best way. And it does leave some sort of impression because people do sometimes look for these subtle hints or pick up on them. And it’s ok to make a “little bit” of an impression here and there. Better in action than in words and make a fool of yourself later. They do speak louder, actions that is.