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JosephParticipant
That’s what yeshivas have called it for ages.
JosephParticipantAh kasha oif ah maaisa.
Is it their zivug rishon or zivug sheini?
December 17, 2015 8:31 pm at 8:31 pm in reply to: The differences between Yeshivish and Chasidish marriages #1118161JosephParticipantI think the parents agreeing to a shidduch for their little children predates the period between the Vilna Gaon and WWI. In the period running up to the world wars in Lita I believe their system was similar to what the Chasidim do today (and themselves did prewar.)
December 17, 2015 6:15 pm at 6:15 pm in reply to: The differences between Yeshivish and Chasidish marriages #1118157JosephParticipantOkay, I can’t prove to you it was such for “thousands” of years. Would hundreds of years make you happier?
More importantly, how exactly do you think shidduchim were conducted in Lita from the time of the Vilna Gaon leading up to World War I? Basically as I described. Not too differently than how the Chasidim do it.
And for the hundreds of years before the Vilna Gaon? Maybe a bit differently. Maybe the father of the boy made a deal with the father of the girl when the children were both three years old that they will marry them off to each other when they turn 16. We certainly have many such maaiselech and they weren’t made up.
That’s how it was done, once upon a time. (Or as they said in Lita “in der alte tzeiten”, or as we say in America “in the good ‘ole days”.)
JosephParticipantYour wife has the same neshoma as the wife of the man you share a neshoma with.
JosephParticipantOf course. (If not, you’ll have a lot of time to convince him since you’ll be together l’olam voed.)
December 17, 2015 4:44 pm at 4:44 pm in reply to: The differences between Yeshivish and Chasidish marriages #1118152JosephParticipantI understand there’s been a cultural tsunami among the Litvish since then, but back in the day in the alte heim in Lita before the world wars, they didn’t date like they do here. They had a pretty similar system to the chasidim as far as shidduchim are concerned, and they too more or less had arranged marriages where the parents made the critical decisions, with the boy and girl basically having at most a veto option they usually didn’t exercise.
And that’s the way it was for thousands of years in Jewish life. (I expect retorts focusing on having also used outhouses and not having had electricity for thousands of years.)
JosephParticipantRandom stranger?! Most certainly not! You both have the same neshoma!
JosephParticipantYou’ll be a Siamese twin when Moshiach comes.
December 17, 2015 4:12 pm at 4:12 pm in reply to: School Board Monitors in Lakewood & East Ramapo #1156996JosephParticipantAbba, the Lakewood monitor overrode the Board and set the referendum to increase taxes. The referendum is widely expected to be rejected by the voters. The monitor then indicated he will eliminate courtesy busing for both the private and public school students beginning January 30th.
It’s also been revealed that the budget shortfall is now $9.5 million rather than the previously stated $6 million, though the referendum is only for the previously assumed $6 million shortfall.
Given that eliminating courtesy busing means that 40% of the public school students will lost busing to public school in Lakewood (a much higher percentage than private school students who are more likely to live further away from their school), don’t you think the public school parents will revolt against the monitor for eliminating courtesy busing?
Also, you above said the yeshivas can’t change back to all opening at the same time since the current bus routes are set for the remainder of the school year. But, nevertheless, if the yeshivas that are now opening earlier simply decided that beginning January 30 they are going to open later like the other yeshivas that are opening later, and they advise the Board, the monitor and bus companies that no school personnel or adults will be at the school premises at the earlier time, and if the bus arrives earlier than the new rescheduled opening times then the bus drivers will be legally responsible to remain with the children until school personnel arrive to open the building, and the bus driver cannot dump children unattended in front of a closed school, will that tactic not force the Board to lose their saving from the staggered times the yeshivas only agreed to based on continuing courtesy busing? (The board still maintains a legal obligation to provide bus transportation to all private school students [other than courtesy] regardless if when the school opens up. And the board’s obligation is to the parents/students, not to the school. So the school’s change can’t be used to drop transporting the students.)
December 17, 2015 2:37 pm at 2:37 pm in reply to: The differences between Yeshivish and Chasidish marriages #1118143JosephParticipantIt works well for them.
Do you think dating (Yeshivish style) would work for Chasidim who currently exclusively beshow? (I don’t.)
December 17, 2015 5:09 am at 5:09 am in reply to: Are chassidic women allowed to fly planes? #1117798JosephParticipantI think it would be much more common for a specific woman pilot to be paired with a male pilot than for a specific male pilot to be paired with a woman pilot. In fact a woman pilot is more likely to be paired with a male pilot than with another woman pilot, whereas a male pilot is more likely to be paired with another male pilot than with a woman pilot.
December 17, 2015 4:54 am at 4:54 am in reply to: The differences between Yeshivish and Chasidish marriages #1118139JosephParticipantFrozenThaw: My strong observation had been that chasidish families have on average notably more children than yeshivish families.
JosephParticipantSome do.
December 16, 2015 11:36 pm at 11:36 pm in reply to: The differences between Yeshivish and Chasidish marriages #1118126JosephParticipantOne difference in marriage itself that comes to mind is the average number of children they each have.
December 16, 2015 11:12 pm at 11:12 pm in reply to: The differences between Yeshivish and Chasidish marriages #1118123JosephParticipantMaybe it was gavra. Calling gavra, calling gavra. Have you in the past commented that Chasidim and Litvaks have different expectations from marriage or approach marriage differently?
DY, how does the lesser secular cultural exposure affect choice of spouse, in practical terms?
December 16, 2015 10:55 pm at 10:55 pm in reply to: The differences between Yeshivish and Chasidish marriages #1118121JosephParticipantWhen you commented that there is less exposure to secular culture among Chasidim compared to Litvaks, how do you see that point leading to fewer expectations and in what areas of the marriage?
December 16, 2015 10:42 pm at 10:42 pm in reply to: The differences between Yeshivish and Chasidish marriages #1118119JosephParticipantThere are also fewer expectations because there is less exposure (in many cases) to secular culture.
How does that lesser cultural exposure affect the marriage?
December 16, 2015 10:39 pm at 10:39 pm in reply to: The differences between Yeshivish and Chasidish marriages #1118118JosephParticipantpopa, I seem to recall you’ve in the past commented that Chasidim and non-Chasidim have different expectations from marriage. I don’t have time now to do too much googling but I did quickly find a comment from DY that somewhat fits into this discussion:
“There are different expectations from marriage between different cultural groups, even among frum Yidden. I think, for example, that Litvish should tread carefully when considering marrying Chassidish. Not that it’s ch’v wrong, or shouldn’t be done, just that you need to really look into it well before going out.”
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/sephardi-and-ashkenaz-couple#post-510583
JosephParticipantI know someone who got engaged to the first girl he dated (and I think he may have been her first boy too) after two dates. They knew they were for each other by the end of the first date.
JosephParticipantSo what you’re saying is that those baal gaavahs walking around with Coach or Michael Kors bags or wearing designer clothing could use a self-esteem boost?
December 16, 2015 3:52 pm at 3:52 pm in reply to: School Board Monitors in Lakewood & East Ramapo #1156989JosephParticipantI believe you’re mistaken, gaw. The proposed veto is over all actions of the board. The other sections of the report make that clear.
JosephParticipantShould he take off his white shirt and necktie so he doesn’t look well put together and don a tee shirt and torn jeans so he looks like a pauper?
December 15, 2015 10:17 pm at 10:17 pm in reply to: School Board Monitors in Lakewood & East Ramapo #1156982JosephParticipantgaw, why just hopelessly liberal? By the same token it should tell you the mainstream media is anti-semitic.
December 15, 2015 8:41 pm at 8:41 pm in reply to: School Board Monitors in Lakewood & East Ramapo #1156979JosephParticipantThe major news outlets *always* throw into their stories that all the members of the board of ed are “Orthodox Jews”. Did that cause you to lose all credibility in the NYTimes, Journal News, and the others?
JosephParticipantGoq, so you want EBT customers to show you they are shamefaced? How should they communicate to the cashier that they are really ashamed?
JosephParticipant“ive seen people pull out their eBT card from their Coach or Michael Kors bag.”
Yeah. I’ve seen people pull up in a Rolls Royce, have their chauffeur open the door for them and their personal assistant gave the cashier their EBT card for their high quantity steak purchase that they were paying for alongside purchases of a diamond ring and high-end stereo system at my local Costco.
JosephParticipantgolfer,
“Are we careful to be mechanech them properly, to do it first without understanding, and then to continue as their cognizance grows?”
Yes. You have heard of children being given a candy or prize or a star when they do something correct like davening properly and other mitzvos, haven’t you?
“Are we being mechanech them that they are obligated to be concerned with the welfare of others?”
Yes. By collecting tzedaka for others who need tzedaka, this is perhaps one of the greatest forms of chinuch they can acquire.
JosephParticipantgolfer, asking for tzedaka on behalf on the needy or on behalf of yeshivos is more than just okay; it is praiseworthy. The children are taught correctly to collect tzedaka on behalf of others.
MDG, can you define for us what you consider to be “fancy clothing”?
JosephParticipantWolf, why are you changing the topic? The OP asked a question and theprof answered it with the quote you cited. There’s nothing to challenge.
JosephParticipant1. It is called “entitlement” programs for a reason.
2. The needy should not be made embarrassed or ashamed to be utilizing help.
3. You should not be judging who is, or is not, needy based upon their physical appearances or dress.
4. Furthermore, the needy need not dress or act needy in public and may and should dress and act as the non-needy dress and act in public. And if they can’t, the non-needy should finance their ability to dress well.
5. Shame should not be brought back.
December 15, 2015 4:49 am at 4:49 am in reply to: Buying returned food equipment or utensils #1116448JosephParticipantmazal77: Returned merchandice is very frequently resold as new if it appears to be in resellable condition. The store will reseal the packaging and put it back on the shelf.
December 15, 2015 3:39 am at 3:39 am in reply to: Buying returned food equipment or utensils #1116442JosephParticipantIt’s much much less rare than commonly assumed, as many people in retail can testify.
December 15, 2015 3:37 am at 3:37 am in reply to: Buying returned food equipment or utensils #1116440JosephParticipantMost stores will reshelve returned merchandise if it appears to be in resellable condition, even if used once.
And American retailers deal with billions of dollars of returned merchandise every year.
December 15, 2015 3:24 am at 3:24 am in reply to: Buying returned food equipment or utensils #1116438JosephParticipantDY: Retail returns are extremely prevelant. Your example is extremely rare.
December 15, 2015 1:08 am at 1:08 am in reply to: School Board Monitors in Lakewood & East Ramapo #1156975JosephParticipantAbba, if the Lakewood monitor cuts out courtesy bussing, the yeshivas can go back to opening at the same time, thus more than eliminating any savings for the board of ed, correct?
Also, if the monitor eliminated courtesy bussing then he will also eliminate bussing for most public school students (since most of them get courtesy bussing), correct?
And if there board doesn’t back a tax increase can the monitor veto that and propose the tax increase anyways despite the board? It will be voted down by the public even if the tax is proposed, correct?
JosephParticipantCharlie, which app do you use?
December 15, 2015 12:00 am at 12:00 am in reply to: Parents visiting married children uninvited at night??? #1117052JosephParticipantWhat about grandparents; should they be put in their place as well, if necessary?
JosephParticipantCharlie, is your Rambam missing the page for Hilchos Ishus 15:20 and your Shulchan Aruch YD 240:17? Did you miss Bereishis 3:16 and 18:12 or Tehilim 45:12?
JosephParticipant“Besides, the flashlight uses a lot of battery power, and we had no idea when power would be restored.”
How long does the minyan take to daven?
JosephParticipantDecember 14, 2015 1:53 pm at 1:53 pm in reply to: Do you know any chassidish Rebbes that I can get brachos from? #1116755JosephParticipantMoshiach should certainly come during your lifetime, Avi. In fact he should be coming very soon.
December 14, 2015 11:56 am at 11:56 am in reply to: Who needs ("professional") Shadchanim, anyways? #1144554JosephParticipantSyag, you just summed it up much better than I did. Thank you.
JosephParticipantFeminism also goes by its other name of Women’s Liberation (women’s lib), which it is synanamous with, and gender equality is one of the movements core theologies.
Ask yourself what they are trying to “liberate” themselves from and what that has to do with Hashem and Judaism.
JosephParticipantGoq: The Torah prescribes a subservient role.
Simcha: If being stay-at-home is something you consider to be a matter of “relegated”, you ought to reconsider. The Shulchan Aruch prescribes, as a matter of halacha, that the role is stay-at-home.
JosephParticipantWhich “frum college” doesn’t teach any kefira?
And you’re agreeable that non-frum colleges should not be considered?
JosephParticipantStating that Race A is better than Race B is or is not “racist”?
JosephParticipantExamples of ehrliche women are motherly, support their husband and sons Torah learning, have a dinner prepared for their mishpacha and cry with tefilos when lighting Shabbos neiros.
JosephParticipantIt’s a powerful day!
December 13, 2015 9:35 pm at 9:35 pm in reply to: skripka's soliloquy on the shidduch "crises". or, why NOT chasidish? #1116117JosephParticipantThey say the percentage of “extra” girls in the Litvishe world is higher than the percentage of “extra” boys in the Chasidishe world. But it is also true that there are more young Chasidim than there are young Litvaks. So the question is how much the numbers add up comparing each sides extras.
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