Lilmod Ulelamaid

LF – you’re the one who always expects me to get it when someone is joking.

btw, I don’t think a sense of humor is connected to bina yeseira. I think that men are actually the pros on humor (in general). Women are more likely to take things literally (at least when it comes to jokes – men take things literally in other ways).

“Though isn’t this judging?

Or then again we do judge in Judaism, at least the actions. But this is judging the individual.”

Is what judging? Talking about differences between men and women? Is that what you mean? If so, these differences are G-d given so it’s not a problem. It doesn’t reflect badly on the person since it’s from G-d.

Actually, it can help us to judge favorably since we can say that “Moshe did x,y,z because he is a man and men aren’t as sensitive by nature so he didn’t realize that I would be insulted” for example.

A friend of mine told me that she has an American friend married to an Israeli. Her friend told her that it’s great for shalom bayis because anything she does that bothers her husband, he just assumes it’s because she’s American. Same idea here – just blame it on their gender.

“Does making it a liquid change its bracha status to a shehakol?”

That would be a sheilah for a Rabbi. But I don’t get why you even have a sheilah. If you blend the food, you won’t have to chew it – wasn’t that the point?

Huju – I believe it’s been done. I think I have seen psakim that it’s assur to use a cell phone while driving.

Winnie the Pooh: “The lesson behind such a story for us is to appreciate how much a gadol can be totally immersed in Torah.”

+1!

nishtdayngesheft: “I suspect the OP question was referring to acting as a real Jew.”

Gavra at work: “You may want to re-phrase your question as an “Oved Hashem”, not a “Jew”.”

If the OP meant either of the above (which it sounds like it from her answer), then all of the following are correct:

Shopping: “live your life only for Hashem.”

MA: “to focus on serving Hashem 24-7 in whichever way is best for you”

Gavra at work: “An Oved Hashem is someone who asks consistently “What does Hashem want from me now”, and is willing to defy common society to do what the RBSO wants from them.”

That is how the Rambam defines an Eved Hashem – as someone whose entire purpose in life is to serve Hashem and EVERYTHING he does is for that purpose. This is a chiyuv and not a chumra.

Beautiful answers everyone, and may we all be zoche to be true Ovdei Hashem in whatever we do (even we are posting in the CR).

MW13: “The ???? of ??? ???? ???… I’m sure most people here are familiar with the explanation that this is so because women are naturally on a higher spiritual level, and therefore do not need as much “work” to develop their relationship with Hashem

I have indeed heard this explanation, but I’ve always wondered if there’s any real source for it… It does seem to fly in the face of the concept of ??? ????? ???????, that being chosen to perform mitzvos is indicative of a higher spiritual calling.

(Also, if one takes this theory to its logical conclusion, wouldn’t it mean the Jews are on a lower spiritual plane than non-Jews, since they have so many more mitzvos needed to help them perfect themselves?)”

My understanding has always been as follows: Women are on a higher spiritual level than men. They have to be since they were created to be an “ezer k’negdo” and they can only do that if they are on higher level (and no, the role of “ezer k’negdo” is not just about taking care of the physical aspects of running a household. If that were the case, we could hire goyim.).

However, it is not better to be a woman. It is actually considered better to be a man and to have more Mitzvos. That is why they say “shelo asani isha” and why there is a concept of davening to have boys. It is not better to be on a higher spiritualy level and need less Mitzvos. It is better to “need” those Mitzos. That is why it is better to be a person than to be a malach. If it were better to be on a higher spiritual level and need less Mitzvos, then it would be better to be a malach, which is not the case.

However, at the same time, one should not feel at all badly about being a girl. Hashem wants there to be girls in this world and He chose YOU to be one, and that is why we say “sheasani kirtzono”, unlike goyim who do not make such a bracha because there is NO advantage to being a goy. I think this is also why a goy can convert to being a Jew (because it is better in every way) but a woman can’t become a man. This is because there are maalos to being a girl and Hashem wants you to be a girl.

Plus, there really is so much to be happy about being a girl. And Hashem wants us to be happy about being women. Men have an obligation to be thankful that they are not women; women do not have any obligation to feel bad about being women and in fact, we are supposed to be happy we are female and make a bracha about it.

In short, theoretically, in Judaism it is considered better to be a boy, but that doesn’t mean men are better and it doesn’t mean that you should be upset that you are not one. In fact you should be happy that you are a girl because Hashem chose you to be a girl and women have a unique tafkid, and it’s geshmak to be a girl, and we have just as many opportunities to earn Olam Haba, and imho, it is 1,000 times easier to be a girl (at least nowadays). We don’t have as many nisyonos, we don’t have as many obligations, we have as many opportunities to gain Olam Haba but it easier to avoid aveiros, we have much more freedom in choosing our path in Avodas Hashem (for example, we don’t have to learn but we can choose to, we don’t have to get married but we can choose to, we don’t have to deal with learn/work/army issues to the same extent, etc), we are more emotionally healthy in general, and we are on a higher spiritual level (even if it’s not to our credit, it’s still something to be thankful about) and we don’t have to worry about bitul Torah every second.

There is no reason at all for women to feel bad about being women. But I think most women nowadays find it hard to figure out how it’s possible to think that it’s better to be a man without feeling badly about themselves. The two things are really not contradictions but it’s hard to conceptualize this. It took me a long time to be able to, and I still find it difficult to give over to others.

But what is clear to me is that Hashem wants us to be happy that we are girls and not to feel badly about it, so if reflecting on the advantages of being a man makes someone feel badly about being female, then it’s better not to do so. There is certainly no obligation to do so. And I think a girl’s obligation is to reflect on the advantages of being a girl – of which there are many, Boruch Hashem!

Like I said before, each gender should focus on the advantages of being the gender that they are while keeping in mind all the reasons they should appreciate and respect the other gender (in the form of their spouse, at least).

lol

“When you make a blessing on a class of food it is assumed that all of that type of food is included.”

That is correct if it is a meal or if you are a guest at someone’s house.

If it’s not a meal and you are not a guest, you have to either:

1. have in mind that the bracha should count for all other foods that you will eat with that bracha, or

2. Have planned to eat that specific food at the time you made the bracha, or

3. the second food was in front of you at the time you made the bracha, or

4. there is still food remaining from the original food you made the bracha on (this only helps if both foods are solids or both are liquids:

5. there is at least one other case, but I have to look it up to make sure I write it correctly. If I have a chance, I will do so, and post it, b”n.

However, there are exceptions to rules 3 & 4. So the best thing to do is to have in mind when you make the original bracha that it will count for all other foods you eat with that bracha, as the Rema says.

If you do have any kind of doubt (for example, you don’t know the exceptions to rules 3 & 4 or you don’t know all the possible cases since there are others, or you’re not sure what you had in mind), then you should either:

a)leave your house and come back in (but that doesn’t work for Mezonos or hamotzi).

or

b: find someone else who wants to eat a food with the same bracha,ask them to have you in mind when they make the bracha, listen to them make the bracha, have in mind to be included in their bracha, and as soon as they finish the bracha and take a bite, you should take a bite from your food.

The most important rule in hilchos brachos is: IF THERE IS ANY DOUBT, DON’T MAKE A BRACHA!!!

I only know all this because I taught it recently, so it is one of the few areas of halacha that I happen to know somewhat well.

In that case, the whole idea of keeping secrets from his wife would be kind of meaningless.

I think that was short for “respond to the recent posts on this thread debating if he is serious or not” but that was too many words for a post in the CR.

Personally, I was going to suggest that she ask you if you’re serious or not but then realized that there probably was no point.

Which doesn’t prove if it’s a joke or not. However, there is a very simple proof that it’s a joke – the fact that it makes no sense.

“I can sneak a little bite but then I am feeding myself first, which is against halacha.”

That’s an interesting point. Now that is definitely a sheilah for your LOR. Maybe it would be okay because you are just taking a bite for the purpose of feeding your dog. But you would have to ask.

Health – my comment was based on some of the things you said. I don’t want to repeat them, so please look back on your comments and you will see what I was referring to. Thank you. But in any case, I’m glad to hear that that is not what you are saying now.

From what I recall off-hand, it may be a “sheilah”, so Joseph’s advice makes sense. Or you can just make sure that you first eat and swallow a bit of it, so then you also don’t have a sheilah.

I’m pretty sure he’s not. He seems too nice for that.

Some do and some don’t. It probably depends on both the person and his age, as it does with everyone.

Rav Henoch Leibowitz, the Rosh Yeshiva of Chofetz Chaim, zatsal remarried. Rav Yaakov Kaminetzky, Zatsal remarried, but I don’t know how old he was when his first wife was nifter. Rav Elyashiv, Zatsal didn’t.

I wonder how many men this age get remarried in general. I would imagine that most don’t. And for a Gadol it’s probably harder than it is for most people because he needs someone on his level.

Lenny, you had originally written as follows: “Counselor wants me in individual counseling; so maybe I have problems I’m not aware of”

It sounds like he does think that you need individual therapy. And in any case, wouldn’t it make more sense to ask him what to do than to ask the anonymous posters here? You obviously need help figuring out what to do with this situation – wouldn’t he be the best person to ask? (and/or any of the Rabbanim you’ve been discussing this with)

Lakewood is the worst place for allergies that I’ve ever been in. But how bad it is depends on the year. There have been some years that were far worse than others.

real one: A Gadol on his own.

Gedolim stand alone.

Gedolim against phones.

Return of the 1,803 boarders.

Boredom returns at 18:03.

“Also they think it will help to put on their hazards. It really just draws more attention to the fact that they’re parked by a hydrant.”

for them. But doesn’t it help for the safety of the “oilam”?

” I’m trying to picture R’ Chaim making a chicken soup or cholent…”

In the biography of Rebbetzin Kanievsky Zatsal, it mentions that someone once asked her if Rav Chaim, YBD”L ever smokes. She said, “Of course not. 1. It’s unhealthy. 2. It would be really dangerous for him to smoke. He would put the cigarette down, and get involved in learning…”

I can only imagine what would happy if he tried making a chicken soup….The Chulent would be less problematic, I suppose.

How many Bar Mitzvah’s have you had so far?

I like the PBA’s line about getting autism from the Shidduch Crisis Vaccines.

btw, LB, PBA is one of the posters who is joking more often than not.