Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Correction on last post: I meant “sheilahs that come up and could or should be asked.”
and if you’re going to be nit-picky and tell me that wasn’t my exact loshon, my exact loshon in my original post was: “Not necessarily in terms of how many sheilas people ask, but at least in terms of how many sheilas they actually have and would want to ask”
and the women in this case (who asked the sheilah to their husbands) would want to ask, and in fact, they did ask – they just chose the “wrong” person to ask, or maybe they had no choice.Iacisrmma, I just wanted to let you know that I saw your post, and I would like to respond, but haven’t had a chance to yet, and may not have a chance tonight.
You have a good point, but I have a good response.
I just don’t want you to think that I’m ignoring your comment – there have been many comments, so I didn’t have a chance to respond to all of them yet.LU:
“but rather, to sheilahs that should have been asked, whether or not they were”Ubiquitin: “Though that isnt really the topic we were discussing.
Again the question was “How often does an average frum family consult with their Rov for a shaila or other advice””
LU: My original post was (sigh):
(Ubiquitin): “(If you want my answer for the “average frum family” (ie excluding newcomers and excluding those who may be exceptionally learned) Id say range between twice a month and 4 times a year (other than taharas hamishpacha) Admittedly I have no idea how I came up with this number)”
That seems to me like a very low estimate. Not necessarily in terms of how many sheilas people ask, but at least in terms of how many sheilas they actually have and would want to ask (but may not have anyone to ask).
I think that the range amongst people I know is more like once every week to at least once a day.
But most people I know don’t end up asking each time, either because they don’t have “A Rav” to ask all their sheilas to, or there is no one to ask because it’s Shabbos and they need an immediate answer, or it’s difficult/impossible to find someone to ask each time a sheilah arises and it’s the kind of thing that they can just avoid doing if they have no one to ask.”You are allowed to write about something that is not the exact same as the original question as long as you make it clear that you are doing so.
(The problem is when you don’t make it clear that that is what you are doing, and/or you respond to other people’s posts who are referring to the original situation as though they are also referring to another situation, even after they made it quite clear that that was not what they were doing.)
Slominer – I don’t think I know of any Ashkenazi Bais Yaakov girls from this generation who are called by an english name. I do know Sefardi Bais Yaakov girls who go by an english name. I had just assumed that it was just as common amongst Sefardi boys, but maybe it’s not. Are you referring to Sephardim or Ashkenazim?
If in fact it is true that it is more common amongst girls, I would guess that a boy is more likely to feel uncomfortable in a Yeshiva going by an english name, simply because a boy’s school is a “Yeshiva”, and a girl’s school is generally viewed as a “school” as opposed to a “Yeshiva”.
“If shailos several times per week is what many people are accustomed to, wouldn’t all pulpit rabbonim, or whoever is answering these shailos, be very busy every day answering many many shailos? Especially if they have a large congregation.”
1. That’s probably another reason why people don’t actually ask all the questions they have. It wouldn’t be practical. In the case of several of the questions I mentioned, really what people should be doing is learning the halachos.
For example, with hilchos brachos, I came up with this list because I learned and taught hilchos brachos, and I realized after I learned it, that I really had these questions all along.
With many or most of the issues, I may have realized that I had these questions, but I was reluctant to ask because if I don’t know about an entire area of halacha, what I need to do is to learn that area of halacha. I can’t just call a Rav and ask him to teach me all of hilchos brachos (or even a particular topic in hilchos brachos) on the phone in 2-5 minutes.
2. That is probably why they have halacha hotlines.
L’maaseh, it is way less common for Frum people to even have english names, and certainly to go by them, than it used to be.
“Furthermore, not all sheilahs (even the daily/weekly type) can be answered by looking it up in the Mishna Berurah. ”
“By far most can. the only ones you may have trouble with are technological questions (and of course non-OC questions) I concede there wil l still be a few shailas as I said. note I ever said no questions arise”I gave many other reasons and examples. From my experience, sheilahs that can’t be answered in the MB come up at least once or twice a week.
“Most women have never learned Mishna Berura. ”
“True, but Joseph’s comment was about the typical frum household, which usually isnt just women.”There are a lot of single, divorced, and widowed women. If you also add in women who are married to men who do not have a Yeshiva background, that includes a lot of people. Furthermore, even if someone is married, her husband isn’t necessary around or available when the sheila arises. And when Joseph wrote “household”, I thought he was referring to all of the members of the household.
“The discussion is about “typical frum homes” I grant there are some who cannot read a Mishne Berura but It is fair to say the “Typical” product of a yeshiva system can.”
There are a lot of people who think they can understand things that they can’t. I have often noticed posters in the CR thinking that someone wrote something that they didn’t write. And this is in english. And it’s not that they realized that they didn’t understand what the person wrote – they were positive that the person had written something that they hadn’t. So what happens if the same person is convinced that he knows what the MB is saying, and in fact, he doesn’t?
(and just in case anyone thinks I am thinking about them specifically, I am thinking of several posters, and not one specific one)
“Benignuman, why do you have an aversion to asking shailos?”
I think this is probably true of many people. I would guess that for many people (particularly men), it’s at least partially for the reasons he gave. I have the feeling that many men, especially if they are avreichim and/or Marbitzei Torah (which applies to almost all the men I know), feel uncomfortable asking sheilahs that they feel they should know the answer to on their own.
I also have the feeling that many men may feel like they are supposed to be able to answer their wive’s and children’s questions themselves.
Someone I know who is a therapist for people with anxiety issues told me that he gets a lot of newly-married men as patients – people who were border-line clinical to begin with, and having to be responsible for the halachic issues of the home (he may have mentioned kashrus specifically, but I’m not sure), throws them over the edge.
After he said this, I realized that it must be a lot of pressure for men if they feel like they have to be the “poseik” for the house even though they aren’t qualified poskim, and it would be a lot better if they were more comfortable asking sheilahs (not because most people are likely to develop clinical anxiety, but because that is what they should be doing).
Another problem that some may have is finding a Rav that they trust and feel comfortable asking. And I think this may become more difficult as one becomes more learned. If you don’t know very much, you can ask almost anyone because they all know more than you, and anyhow, you probably don’t know enough to evaluate the differences between one Rav and another.
“I think that Lilmod’s point is well made, and well taken.”
Thank you!
“However, looking at Lilmod’s lists of questions, I think there is another aspect at work here. I, and I suspect many others, have an aversion to asking shailos. As such, I simply avoid questions or I am machmir when it is not too difficult to do so.”
True, and I think that was one of the main points that I was trying to make. I was not necessarily referring to sheilahs that had actually been asked, but rather, to sheilahs that should have been asked, whether or not they were.
I agree that people are reluctant to ask sheilahs and try to avoid it.
The problem is that while, in some cases, one can just avoid the sheilah, as you said, I think that in many cases, people just try to figure out on their own what to do even when there is a good chance they may be wrong. I have definitely seen this happen.
In other cases, they will choose what they think is the “safer” of two paths, but it may not be the best choice halachically.
Another problem is that while I may choose to just not eat the potato chips, my (theoretical) child or (non-theoretical) student may not be happy with that choice. And actually, I wouldn’t be so happy with that choice either. Or someone could end up in a situation in which it’s really not an option for whatever reason. So it’s important to know the halacha in case that ever happens.
And in some cases, something was already done, when someone realized it was a sheilah. In the case of the candles, for example, I was at someone else’s house who hadn’t thought of the issue, and I pointed it out after the candles were already lit. Also, I don’t know if anyone could have realized how shaky the table was and that it would t/f be a problem until after the candles were lit.
I’m not sure that “bosis” is such a problem because I think you can just make sure that there is a bentcher on the table or that it is set before candle-lighting (making sure that there is at least one non-disposable item)
Personally, I would be reluctant because of fire hazard concerns, as well as the fact that you can’t remove the tablecloth all Shabbos.
“Yes when a person has a child there may be questions, when someone is in the hospital, getting married shiduchim, and of course r”l aveilus certainly raises many sheilos etc etc. This was pointed out earlier and isnt what we are talking about.”
“None of those situations applied to me in the past few years”There’s also travelling, paying taxes, work-related sheilahs, apartment rental sheilahs and other financial matters, Kibbud Av V’eim sheilas, chinuch sheilahs (which could come up even if you don’t have your own kids), yichud sheilahs (I stay at people’s houses a lot, so it comes up a lot, and many times it’s situation-specific and not enough to know the basic halachos)
Maybe none of these situations applied to you in the past few years, but that’s unusual.
Hilchos Shabbos issues that I’ve seen come up:
1. I’ve seen people cut up vegetables several hours before the seudah.
2.Many people don’t know the halachos of heating things up on Shabbos. I recently saw someone about to heat something up on Shabbos in a way that was a problem, but I stopped her in time. I had a sheilah once regarding whether or not I could eat something that was heated up incorrectly. (I also had to find out if it was in fact incorrect). Also, someone I know recently decided to start keeping food in her oven recently, so she had to find out if she was allowed to, and how.
3. I have a lot of questions regarding “Graf shel re’i”. I’m not sure if/when/how you are allowed to throw out things like empty wrappers and dirty tissues. I was once told that something I did was wrong, so I’m still trying to figure out what is ok and what’s not. I tried looking it up once in one of the Hilchos Shabbos sefarim, but couldn’t find it. And this comes up every Shabbos.
And again, hilchos loshon hora sheilahs come up at least once a week for anyone in the CR, and probably even for anyone who is not in the CR.
Davening questions:
What do women have to say? When and to what extent can they rely on the opinion that one shevach,bakasha, hodaah a day is enough? When should you say al netilas yadayim in the morning? How much of davening do you have to include afterwards to be yotzi the Rosh? Do you have to wash negelvasser by your bed? Can you eat before davening? Can you eat before davening on Shabbos? If you eat before davening on Shabbos, should you make kiddush first? What if you said all of birchos hashachar?Kashrus questions:
1. What hashgachos can I eat? This question may have to be reasked since it always changes (at least in EY – although probably less so in the US). It also has to be reasked when you travel to another country, or possibly another location in the same country.
2. What hashgachos can I eat at other people’s houses? This also may need reasking since each situation is different, and friends/family/relatives may all entail a different psak (and as the hashgachos change, of course, it also needs reasking).
3. Checking for bugs. This also is constantly changing, as well as being different for different countries. You also need to ask what to do when you’re at other people’s houses. And of course, it has to be asked for each food, and possibly each company/ type (I think some people differentiate between different types of grapes).
Other hilchos brachos questions I forgot:
1. If you are planning to eat bread in the car, so you wash in your house, how should you do things? If you make homotzi in the car, it may be too long a distance between al netilas yadayiim and hamotzi, but you don’t have time to eat a kzayis in the house, so what should you do? (Note: this is not at all simple, I tried looking into it and discussed it with two Talmidei Chachamim, and I’m still not sure what the answer is).
2. Should women make a zimun? (granted it only needs asked once, but if you would make a list of all the questions that only need asked once, you would have a lot of them. And this is not the kind of thing that you can just look up, since even though the MB says it’s technically muttar, there are Poskim who say that it’s a problem nowadays. Also, I ended up asking more than once, because after I asked one Rav (who is not a Gadol) who said yes, I found out about a Gadol who said no, so I realized it’s a sheilah that needs asked to a Gadol. Furthermore, different people (people who are learned but not Gedolim) understand the MB differently in the first place).
3.Should women wash mayim acharonim?
3. Food combination questions (3 of the issues this week involved food combinations. In all 3 cases, people were making an assumption that was probably incorrect, and in case, should have been asked and not assumed, since they didn’t know the relevant halachos. The 3 foods were: Kif Kaf (Israeli version of Kit Kat), cookies and cream ice cream, and butternut squash soup.
4. If you continually drink water over an extended period of time, when do you make a bracha achrona?
5. If you drink wine during a meal, do you say a bracha? Which bracha?
6. Should you wash on one slice of pizza? In the US? In Israel? In another country? In what year? (This is not a simple question, and the halacha may have changed over the years, and may be different in different countries, and there are probably different opinions).
7. Other Pas haba bikisnin sheilahs – which foods are pas haba bikisnin (again, that is not simple, and may be different in different countries and at different times and may depend who you ask)? How much do you have to have to bentch? What if you eat less than 3/4 k’baitzas but you eat it with another food (for example, crackers with tuna) as a meal, and you are satiated? (I believe that R’ Moshe Zatsal and R’Shlomo Zalman zatsal posken differently)
Hilchos Brachos:
1. When you make a bracha rishona, which foods are covered by your bracha? This comes up every day, and if someone hasn’t learned hilchos brachos (which many people have not), they should have this sheilah every day.
Also, even if you have learned it in depth, you should still have a particular sheilah because there is a crucial aspect that is not clear, and it is possible to understand the relevant sources in two different ways, and it’s understood differently by two different authors of Hilchos Brachos sefarim. (which is why I called up each of them and asked them to explain their reasoning before I taught those halachos).2. Shinui Makom questions. This can involve many situations and many questions, which you would have if you haven’t learned the halachos.
Also, even after learning the halachos, there was at least one question that I still had, and apparently, it’s not clear, because I asked two different Rabbanim and got two different answers.The question is: If you are eating potato chips (for example), and you leave the house but plan to continue eating the potato chips in your new location, should you make a bracha achrona first? (according to the one who said you make a b”a, you would have to wait before resuming eating – I forgot how long, I think it was app. 20 minutes, but it could have been 30 or 15, and according to the other one, you should not wait too long).
“I find that almost every Shabbos, a halachic sheilah comes up that no one is sure of the answer to”
“and it isnt in the Mishne berurua? IOR they dont have access to one? Or they cant read it?”Most women have never learned Mishna Berura. It’s not taught in Bais Yaakovs. Even in non-Bais Yaakovs, if it’s taught at all, it’s usually only taught in seminary, and many girls do not continue formal inside-learning after one year of seminary.
I suspect that there are many men who also do not know how to look things up in the Mishna Berurah. I also suspect that there are many men who think that they know how to look things up in the Mishna Berurah, but do not (or make mistakes more often than they should).
Furthermore, not all sheilahs (even the daily/weekly type) can be answered by looking it up in the Mishna Berurah. In some cases, this is because it’s the type of topic that has to be learned in depth, so if you have already learned the sugya, you might be able to just look it up in the MB on the spot, but otherwise, you might not be able to.
In many cases, it involves something that did not exist yet in the times of the Mishna Berurah. In some cases, we don’t posken like the Mishna Berurah. In some cases, the Mishna Berurah leaves it as a machlokes and does not posken.
In some cases, the halacha is not clear, so even after studying it in depth, one would still have to ask a sheilah. (I know that when I learn halacha, I have had questions such as these, and some of them are questions that should arise for many people on a daily basis, although it’s possible that they haven’t learned enough to know there’s an issue).
And there are probably other things that are not discussed in the Mishna Berurah for some other reason. Also, if it’s not in Orach Chaim, the Mishna Berurah won’t help.
When I said that I see questions coming up on a regular basis, what I see happening is: women and children who don’t have the background to look it up themselves, so they either ask their husbands or they ask me.
When they ask their husbands, sometimes they know, and sometimes they say they don’t know, and sometimes they think they know but they are wrong. I have had to correct people and been thanked for it, although sometimes I was too uncomfortable to say anything, but that was probably wrong on my part.
When they ask me, the first two apply, and probably the third at times as well, but I hope not, and I am trying to be careful about that.
I made up a list of the types of sheilahs that many or maybe most people should have, and I will post it shortly. This also includes many things that I have witnessed people doing wrong, which means that they had a sheilah, although they didn’t know it.
Btw, I took a survey on Shabbos amongst the women at the Seudah, and the maskana was that people have sheilahs approximately twice a week (okay so 2 people is not a reliable survey, but that was all I had).
Also, I kept track, and there were at least 6 sheilahs that came up since I posted 4 days ago (not necessarily mine – usually things I saw someone doing wrong because they hadn’t asked, and should have).
I didn’t think there were any moderators in EY. I don’t know if it changed, but it used to be that posts were rarely moderated when it was the middle of the night EST but morning in EY (except for those times when 29 had insomnia, and decided to use it to help out posters in EY :))
Slominer – he has to pay a certain amount of child support, but she is the one who has to support the kids. The child support just helps out a drop, but she is still left with the bulk of support (although there are probably variations, and in some case, the amount he pays may constitute a bigger proportion of what’s needed, but I would imagine that it would be rare for the ex-husband to be paying the full amount and for the ex-wife to not have to worry about finances at all).
And in some cases, she may not have been working at all beforehand, and now she suddenly has to go to work.
Also, not everyone fulfills their legal obligation to pay child support.
L’maaseh, from what I’ve seen, it seems like divorce is usually very difficult financially for both parties, since they now have two households to maintain, and they are working against each other, as opposed to with each other.
Also, while my list may have included more of the “non-typical” types of questions, it also included some of the more “regular” types as well. I think that part of the reason that I included less of those is that they are harder to remember off-hand. I will, b”n, try to make more of a point of paying attention to them in the future, so that I can include them (or I will try to refresh my memory), although I think that I have already given you enough examples.
Slominer -split up.
I don’t have one specific Rav. Partly because I haven’t yet found someone, but also partially because I think (and have been told by my Rabbanim) that one should ask sheilas to a Rav who is an expert in the particular area of halacha (I think Ubiquitin actually also mentioned this idea recently).One particular example of that is L”H questions. I only ask those to Rabbanim who are known to be experts on answering L”H questions, since that is a topic that few people are qualified to answer sheilahs in.
When it comes to “community questions” (like questions about landlord issues), I usually try to ask a “Community Rav” who is widely accepted in the particular community.
“Well now that I know that someone is interested in reading, I will try to do so, bli neder.”
‘I am interested too”
I know, and I didn’t mean to imply otherwise. I had actually written that post after I responded to you, but the posts came up out of order.
I think that most people probably have a lot of sheilahs regarding dinei mamonos, although they might not realize it.
Most work situations probably involve many sheilahs regarding dinei mamonos.
Ubiquitin – as I previously pointed out, there are different kinds of questions – some are the more “regular” type that come up daily, and some are what you are calling “uncommon lifestyle events”.
These are the sheilahs that I happened to have, but other people would have other (uncommon lifestyle event) sheilahs. It’s davka these types of sheilahs that everyone has to ask, since they do not come up on a regular basis and are situation-specific so even if someone is well-versed in halacha, they would probably still have to ask. And I would imagine that everyone has sheilas like this, but they might not realize it.
As for day-day sheilahs, anyone who posts in the CR should have sheilas regarding hilchos L”H a minimum of once a week, if not once a day, whether regarding their own posts or someone else’s.
Two more sheilas that I just remembered: 1. If I want to use an oven that was previously used for fleishiks but hasn’t been used in at least 2 months, and I want to use it for milchiks, is it enough if I heated it up for an hour but didn’t clean it out?
2. I pointed out to my friend that something she was doing was a sheilah – something to do with using an oven on Shabbos, but i dont’ remember the situation – and she asked her husband who agreed it was a sheilah.
19. If I ate a kzayis of hamotzi bein hashmashos on motzei Rosh Chodesh, do I say Yaaleh v’yavo in bentching?
20. Is my friend’s kid allowed to open some kind of nash or drink on Shabbos (I don’t remember what it was exactly or how it opened, but it was something that could have been considered making a Kli on Shabbos, and it was “my sheilah” because the kid asked me)?
21. Is it ribis if I charge clients a different amount depending when they pay?
22. A ribis sheilah regarding how to make shekel/dollar calculations when people pay me.
23. Same as 22 – there were at least 2 or 3 sheilahs on the topic.
24. If I had previous jobs that involved my handing in time sheets and being paid by the hour, do I have to pay them back if I’m concerned that I my calculations may not have been accurate (since I’m not always sure what you’re allowed to count as work-time or not)?
25. What if I know a mistake was made and they are goyim?9. Am I allowed to use the escalator in a chu”l airport on the second day of Y”T?
10. Am I allowed to use the automatic sinks in the bathroom in an airport on chu”l on the second day of Y”T?
11. A question about yayin nesech and not-frum relatives
12. Is it a problem to have people sitting at a table on Shabbos that has candles on it if they are not careful and the table is not sturdy, so the candles move every time they touch the table?
13. Is it a problem to cut a cake on Shabbos that has pictures on it, if the top part of the cake where the pictures are was cut before Shabbos, but it wasn’t cut all the way through?
14. Is it borer if I take the bread off the table in order to wrap it separately after the disposable tablecloth was partially folded over?
15. Was a certain post in the CR l”h?
16. Was another post in the CR l”h?
17. Was another post in the CR l”H?
18. Is it assur to post in the CR?Okay, off the top of my head, I came up with a list of 25 questions that I had in the last approximately 6 months (which comes out to approximately once a week):
1. Am I allowed to fly out of Israel on the second day of Y”T?
2. Am I allowed to go through the electronic security thing in an airport in chu”l on the second day of Y”T?
3. Am I allowed to hand over my passport to security in a chu”l airport on the second day of Y”T?
4. Question about taxes
5. Another question about taxes
6. If I have to to teach myself how to put on Tefillin so that I can help my father, am I allowed to practice on a boy younger than nine?
7. If my father has no one to make havdala for him on Motzei Shabbos, am I allowed to make it for him when I visit him on Monday morning?
8. Question seven had to be reasked because new information came up when I told my father that I was going to make havdala for him.“drastically edited”
lol, that’s a new one. My curiosity is aroused….
After a divorce, the wife has a harder time in the short term because the practical aspects are usually more complicated for her – the finances, and taking care of the kids. But the husband has a harder time emotionally, and I think I learned that studies show that it’s harder for the men in the long-term.
I was talking about the emotional aspect. Emotionally, I think men need marriage more. That’s why single guys have a much harder time than single girls. And I think that women could potentially hurt their husbands more on an emotional level. I’ve never been married, so I could be wrong, but that’s my impression.
But I guess we don’t disagree, since you were talking about the practical/financial side.
However, nowadays, it’s less true than it used to be, since most women work today.
“she’s the one who is more vulnerable”
I wonder if that’s true… I suspect that men may actually be more vulnerable, although perhaps less likely to acknowledge it (which would make them even more vulnerable).
What do the men and married women here think?
“Im not sure your distinction is correct. OF course in throry ever y body would know kol hatorah kulah. In practice this is impossible so we have a Rav to pasken that isnt a failing per se”
The distinctions were (knowingly and deliberately) vague.
My point was basically that I thought that you and anyone else who thinks that it’s not necessary to ask sheilahs that often might be assuming that most people should know halacha well enough to be able to know what to do without asking.So I was just trying to point out that even if everyone had learned as much as they should/could have, there would still be many things that would need asking.
But of course, it’s impossible to really know what everyone could/should have learned, and in any case, what matters is the fact that l’maaseh, most people are very lacking in their knowledge of basic halacha, so they do have sheilahs on a daily/weekly base, whether or not they should, and whether or not they actually ask them.“One category includes sheilahs that require a Poseik (so even if I knew as much halacha as I should, I would still need to ask).”
“I am not sure what that means. Like Tzoras that needs a kohein even if the person with the nega knows the halacha?”There is a difference between knowing halacha well, and knowing enough to posken specific sheilahs that come up.
But again, it may be hard to understand what I mean until i give specific examples.
I will b”n try to do so soon.
“assuming “a few” is 3 years thats over 150 sheilahs assuming once a week?”
I didn’t say I remember every sheilah, and I didn’t say that I was going to write all those that I remember.
“I think its someone who is still new. Which is of course a great to recognize lack of knoledge and ask when appropriate even if it is daily!”
No, the new people don’t know enough to know what to ask. As one or more of the posters already wrote (don’t remember who), sometimes, the people who know more have more questions.
I think that at least one of my friends recently commented that they were impressed that I even realized that something was a sheilah, since they wouldn’t have even known enough to know that.However, you may have hit the nail on the head with this comment: “Which is of course a great to recognize lack of knoledge and ask when appropriate even if it is daily!” If people aren’t asking at least weekly, it may be because they don’t want to acknowledge their lack of knowledge.
The fact is that many halachic issues come up every day, so unless one is very familiar with halacha, they will have shailahs every day or nearly every day.
And from what I’ve seen, most people aren’t that familiar with halacha (to know all the halachos that come up daily). The women certainly aren’t (which is who I mainly talk to), but many of the men I know seem not to be either.Most women that I know have not even learned all of the halachos in the Mishna Berura (including myself), and there are halachos there that come up every day or every week.
Hilchos Brachos come up every day, and most people that I know have not learned hilchos brachos. Hilchos Shabbos come up every week, and most people I know have not learned all of the halachos of Shabbos that come up on a regular basis.
Also, even if someone has learned hilchos Shabbos thoroughly, there are still many sheilahs that can come up. I have learned Hilchos Borer, but knowing hilchos borer does not mean that you will necessarily know if a particular situation is borer or not, since the halachos themselves are a bit vague (since the precise definition of borer is not clear).
I find that almost every Shabbos, a halachic sheilah comes up that no one is sure of the answer to (including the avreichim and Yeshiva Bochurim present).
“Again, I will try to give examples when I have a chance.”
“That would be helpful.”
Well now that I know that someone is interested in reading, I will try to do so, bli neder.
“One doesn’t need to be “extraordinarily” versed in halachah to not have shailos every week.”
I’ll give examples that have come up. I find that things come up every week.
btw, I was considering answering some of your questions, but then I realized that if I did that, you would figure out that I must have read your post, so I decided not to.
If you only want the moderators to read a post, and no one else, you have to start off the post by writing – For moderators only, please do not post.
I know that you think that what you did was the same thing, but apparently it’s not, since it had different results.
Curious as to what these forums are… not because of the lack of moderation, adraba, I’m assuming that they are kosher sites if you are going there as a frummed-out post-seminary girl.
Randomex – what does that mean? If there is not prior moderation, what do the moderators do?
What about for girls?
“I actually just got rid of my smartphone baruch hashem.”
Yeah!!! Mazel Tov!!! Shkoyach!!! 🙂
Someone once told me that he felt like a rock was removed from his heart when he got rid of his smartphone.
It’s definitely a good idea to bring layers. In the US (at least in the NY area), people tend to keep the heat on very high in the winter (not sure why people want to be hotter in the winter than in the summer, but whatever..), so if you dress too warmly, you’ll be too hot inside.
So the best is to wear an outfit that’s not too warm with layers on top for outside.
Even though most people aren’t wearing coats yet, I would suggest you bring one for the following reasons:
1. The weather changes from day to day, and there have been “coat days”.
2. You’re used to warm weather and get cold easily.
3. Best to be prepared.“what can possibly come up once a day? Even once a week I cant imagine?”
It was an off-the-top-of my-head estimate. It’s possible that once a day was an exaggeration, but I’m not so sure. Once a week was not.
Before I responded, I took a moment to think of some of the sheilahs that have come up over the past few years, and there were definitely a lot. If I have a chance, maybe I’ll post some of them, or at least the topics.
My feeling is that if anyone does not have sheilahs at least once a week, that is likely either because they don’t know enough to realize there is a sheilah, or they are extraordinarily well-versed in halacha, so they don’t need to ask.
I would put most of the sheilahs that I or others I know have had in one of two categories. One category includes sheilahs that require a Poseik (so even if I knew as much halacha as I should, I would still need to ask).
The second one would include sheilahs that one might say that if the person knew as much as they should know, they wouldn’t need to ask. But l’maaseh, most/many people are not well-versed enough in halacha and do need to ask someone (although the someone may not necessarily have to be a poseik).
My estimate is that the first type of sheilah comes up roughly at least once a week to once a month, and the second one comes up roughly once a day to once a week.
Again, I will try to give examples when I have a chance.
Why does everyone always assume that it’s better to “think out of the box”? And isn’t making that assumption a sign of “thinking in the box”, since most people make that assumption?
“What you’re saying it that there’s no such thing as out of the box; everyone thinks in a box, the only question is which one (and there are only two).”
Not necessarily – it might be a question of what you mean by “thinking alike”.
“I was just thinking the same thing!”
So I guess that you and PGY must both be great!
I already knew you were anyhow! 🙂
(Don’t know about PGY yet, since I don’t really “know” him yet, but I’m sure he is as well.)no
WTP – lol. True.
Iac: I thought that Shopping’s question was in response to GH’s saying that some boys learn better wearing colored shirts. Am I right, Shopping?
Joseph – I think that was Iac’s point.