Lilmod Ulelamaid

“Also I question whether this is an acceptable use of maaser money”‘

Every has to ask their own sheilah, but from the times when I’ve asked sheilahs about maaser, there is a lot of leeway regarding what it can be used for. So I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s muttar although I don’t know.

It also may depend how rich/poor you are. If you are poor enough, you are not obligated in maaser at all, although there is still an inyan to separate it out (even if you put it back in your own pocket). In that case, I would guess that this may be a better way to distribute the maaser rather than put it back in your own pocket. But again, everyone should ask his own sheilah and not make assumptions either way.

I’m not sure. I’ll have to ask my mom – she’s an expert on correct english.

In any case, it’s certainly not the normal way to phrase a question. Certainly not this type of question. Maybe if I had previously written that I thought there was zero problem with the case in question, it would make sense to throw it back at me and ask rhetorically, “There’s zero problem…?”

But under the circumstances it’s a strange way to phrase the question. It would have made much more sense to write, “is there any problem with …..” “If not, then…”

On second thought, I’m not asking my mother. I don’t want to tell her about the CR. Let’s ask Haifagirl instead.

Joseph, I probably did not notice the question mark for the following reason: the sentence started off with “There’s zero problem..”

In english (to the best of my knowledge) such a statement can not end with a question mark. It is true that in yinglish, it can 🙂 , but I am not the biggest expert on yinglish and usually stick to english.

Also, if it was a question, it’s a bit odd to have the second question right afterwards before the first question was answered. It makes it sound like you are already assuming that the answer to the first question was yes. If you had started the second question with the words “if so..”, your meaning would have more understandable.

In any case, I understand now that it was a question. Thank you for clarifying. I think the answer is “no”. There is not “zero problem” with it, and in fact I think it would be a problem.

Joseph, you wrote as follows:

“There’s zero problem making a public announcement from the Bimah that Reuven charges $2 for apples while Shimon charges $3 for apples, assuming both prices are within halachicly accepted parameters?”

That is a statement, not a question.

A comment made by DY on a different thread made me realize that we should be careful what we write here. When comparing communities, one can veer dangerously close to loshon hora.

Thank you DY! (even though that wasn’t your point :))

I think that since Assurnet isn’t even interested in discussing RBS, maybe it’s time to stop talking about it (and yes, I know I’m the one who started.)

Thinking of myself at 16 and 20-22, I’m not sure that I would have been safer at 20-22 than at 16. In fact at 16, I probably would have been more likely to run home if there were a problem than at 20-22 when I probably wouldn’t have told anyone.

I’m not saying you’re wrong; I’m just thinking about how I think I would have reacted c”v. But I could be unusual and I could also be wrong about myself.

The thing to remember is that in communities in which it’s the norm, generally the parents are very involved and there is a strong safety net both in terms of the family and the community. So it may actually be safer than a 20-year old getting married in other communities in which people are more on their own.

say what? You are saying that a) is okay, so b) must be okay. Why are you assuming that a) is okay? I would say that a) is assur just like b) is assur.

Again, I would be upset if someone made a similar announcement about the product that I am selling without saying anything else about it.

“But your concern about RBS is real- there are enough Anglos here, and infrastructure (English-only shuls, American style schools and summer camps) that one can live comfortably without ever really integrating into Israeli society. One has to make a conscious effort to integrate.”

But if you do want to, you can.

“Beitar is more Israeli, with an Anglo presence, have some chasidish elements as well (especially in B, although probably fewer Anglos there) but I am not sure how comfortable you will feel there as a working chareidi.”

I had the same thoughts about Beitar. It might be worth looking into, but I was concerned that it might be too “right-wing” for you.

DY: “Sure, you can make it assur by making the case that he said it in a negative way.

But again, that wasn’t the discussion. You added that in.”

My point was that saying that A is more expensive than B reflects negatively on A.

I didn’t add anything in. You’re not reading what I wrote.

(I wrote this above, but I was afraid you wouldn’t see it).

My point was that saying that A is more expensive than B reflects negatively on A.

I didn’t add anything in. You’re not reading what I wrote.

safe in what way?

YYTZ – they are probably including the entire RBS (Alef, Bet, and Gimmel). I was only referring to Alef which is what I had assumed that assurnet was referring to. He could have also been referring to Gimmel. I don’t know much about Gimmel, but I had been under the impression that it’s similar to Alef.

I’m still surprised that it’s 20% Anglo. Are you sure it was just referring to RBS and not to the entire Beit Shemesh. It’s true that Beit is only about 1% Anglo, but it’s teeny compared to Alef, so it shouldn’t affect the numbers that much.

Maybe Gimmel has many more Israelis than Anglos? Also, there are some people who are neither Anglo or Israeli so I guess that changes the numbers. Still hard for me to see how it could be 20% Anglo.

30. people who judge people who judge others for calling people jerks

I have answers to everything you wrote, but first I have a question:

Are you trying to argue that this case isn’t loshon hora at all or are you arguing that it is loshon hora but it’s allowed l’toeles and this would be considered l’toeles?

I

25. people who criticize others for coming back to the coffee room after a long hiatus as if nothing happened.
26. people who criticize others for continuing conversations from a year ago.
27. people who call other people jerks

What’s Agan Ayalot? I never heard of that.

Assurnet – is there Kosher not-Jewish music of the type you are describing?

It depends on the girl and on whether or not her parents can be trusted and on the norm in her community.

I agree with WTP. I think that the person in this story needs to get a new LOR. Maybe he should try for a NLOR (non-local Orthodox Rabbi). The term LOR has always bothered me. It sounds like people are choosing Rabbis based on their proximity. And since most Jews in the world do not live in such close proximity to Talmidei Chachamim, they really should be looking for NLOR’s, IMHO.

And even for those of us who do live in close proximity to Talmidei Chachamim, one still should not choose a Rav based on proximity. Especially in today’s day and age when it’s really not necessary.

It is important to remember that all that being a Rabbi means is that he has semicha. As I have mentioned previously, having semicha nowadays is often pretty meaningless. There are thousands of people with semicha, and the vast majority are not qualified to answer sheilas or give aitza. Or there may be many who can answer certain types of questions but not others.

Any time you get an answer that doesn’t sit well with you, take it to someone else. And don’t decide that someone is your Rav until you have spoken to them enough and feel comfortable with their answers. And even then, it is important to realize that you are unlikely to find one Rav who is qualified to answer every type of question. You may find that you need one Rav for halacha and another for hashkafa and another for personal advice. And you may need to go to different Rabbanim for different categories in halacha.

LB also has a good point about the fact that prices can change. Even if you are not comparing and simply mentioning how much something costs in one store, I wonder if you would be allowed to do that without asking the store first. They may lower the price tomorrow and meanwhile it is written here for all eternity. (on their own website, they can change it).

Example of pt #1 in above post: Let’s say I am trying to find out about a guy name Shmuely. I ask Dovid how smart he is. He tells me that he has an iq of 120. That is very different than if he would tell me that he is less intelligent than Reuven even if I already knew that Reuven’s iq is 130 so I could have figured it out myself.

By specifically pointing out that Shmuely’s iq is lower than Reuven’s, he has now made me think negatively of Shmuely and made me think I should go out with Reuven instead. (and just for the record, I have never asked for anyone’s iq – I was just trying to think of an objective fact that can be used to describe someone).

Another point that just occurred to me: If you make the point of saying that someone’s iq is less than someone else’s, you are implying that the difference is significant. If the price of milk in one place is $1.50 and in another place is $1.55 and you say that in place B it is more expensive than it is in place A, it is not simply an objective statement – you have now made it sound like the difference is significant. (and it actually may be irrelevant compared to the extra money you have to spend on gas to get to A).

sure it is. What’s the difference?

There are different types of l”h. One is giving over objectively negative information. The other is saying something that leads to a negative impression. If you say that Store A charges x for something, that is not l”h. If you compare the prices, you are putting one in a negative light.

The bottom line is that this is not a simple issue and it is definitely something that requires a sheilah – certainly more than what I wrote on the other thread.

Put it this way: If you were selling something, would you like it if someone made a point of publicly posting that your product is more expensive than someone else’s?

Personally, I have a certain kind of business right now. I charge more for my product than many other people do.

But there are maalos to mine. In fact one of the maalos is the fact that it costs more money which can be a maaleh for reasons that I can’t explain right now.

When I am trying to convince people to buy my product, I often point out these things to them. If they would ask me why they should buy my product when they can get something similar for less money, I explain these things to them.

But I would be very upset if someone were to make a point of announcing to the world that I charge more than others do without saying anything else.

This is what Iacisrmma wrote: “Am I not allowed to tell someone that store “x” sells item “a” cheaper then store “y”? ”

I understood that item a is a type of item but it can be made by different companies and have different level of quality. Let’s say that item a is milk. One store’s milk can be fresher than another’s. And by the way, this can be true even if they are from the same company. Someone just told me that certain companies sell fresher products to certain stores than others. There was some kind of business reason behind it. I think I remember what it was, but I can’t say because it might be l”h.