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Meno – Don’t worry, I realized it was a joke.
But Meno, Sparkly had started the conversation and Health was commenting on her post, so it doesn’t matter what he thought he was talking about – it matters what he really was talking about.
That’s the problem with these threads – no one really follows the conversations, and people comment on other people’s posts w/o really paying attention to what they were talking about. They they claim that they were talking about something different because they forgot that their comment was in response to someone else’s posts, so it’s not up to them to decide what they were talking about.
If anyone followed that, I’m very impressed!
I don’t think we’re expecting a 6 year old to learn on his own time. I assume we are talking about teenagers.
bump. Happygirlygirl, we’re waiting for the answers to 2 questions: 1. Is he a Rabbi? 2. Is he from the non-Jewish world?
Thanks!
If they see you learning, they are likely to learn from your example. Nagging for sure doesn’t work.
Rav Chaim Kanievsky, Shlita, said that he can learn for several hours, but if someone were to tell him to learn, he wouldn’t be able to learn for more than a few minutes.
Keeping the house distraction free (tv free, internet free, etc.) helps too. And sending them to the right schools (although which schools are the right schools depends on child and on family).
Also, I imagine that if they always hear you speaking positively and with admiration about our Gedolim, they are likely to want to be like them.
Sparkly – I think it might be assur for a guy so it doesn’t matter if his wife lets him or not.
Gofish: “In regards to external trappings, my parents definitely *look* frummer.
But as to how I would define frum, I’d venture to say say that I think I’m frummer.”
That sounds interesting. I’m curious to hear how you define Frum.
Meno – either his yarmulka must be huge or yours must be teeny or both. Which is it?
And how could both you and your parents be OTD? They went from Chareidi to MO and then you went from MO to Chiloni? Or they went from Chassidish to Yeshivish or vice versa and then you became MO?
I always thought you sounded pretty Frum from your posts as far as I can recall.
I’m more Frum than my parents, but they are baalei teshuva so it’s different. As a kid, the way I viewed it was that by being more Frum than my parents, I was following in their footsteps to a very small degree (since they are more more Frum than their parents than I am more Frum than mine). So maybe they should be considered more Frum than me?
My children are more Frum than I am – they are so Frum that they couldn’t deal with the concept of being in a world of gashmius and preferred to stay in the Shamayim.
Define Frum :).
Does the definition change if someone calls themselves MO?
cheating in the twenty-first century, lol.
Mammele – I saw it but didn’t respond because it would have taken too long, and I didn’t have time. Basically, you misunderstood what I meant, so your comments were irrelevant. I wasn’t talking about anything specific. There may have been some resumes that I came across on websites years ago which were poorly written. I’m not talking about a misspelled word or two, but about guys who were clearly inarticulate and stupid – guys who clearly were not Talmidei Chachamim. When you constantly see hundreds of resumes floating around cyberspace, it makes sense to choose to look into only those that sound reasonable based on the resume.
The point about the guy who misspelled intelligent was just that I thought that it was funny – l’maaseh, it could have a typo, but it was still funny.
Meno – lol. You think?
Joseph, I think even Gedolim would refer to a 13 year old as a boy and not a man.
Also, even according to the Torah, there is a difference between a 13 year old and a 20 year old, so the concept of adolescence is not completely foreign to Yiddishkeit. I think someone in that age range would probably be called a “naar” or “naara” in Loshon Hakodesh, a guy (if he’s a boy) in english, and a bochur or bochura in Modern Hebrew (although bochur and bochura would last till marriage I think).
It’s true – the one thing that is missing is a term in english for an unmarried girl above 12/18/20.
“Or
as
R’ Yaakov Kamenetzky said “Bashert” in English means you like each other very much”
lol. like that.
Health – the problem is that people use this story to “prove” that you only have ONE zivug and you can lose her.
If it will cause lack of shalom if you tell the truth – yes. But I imagine that most of the time it’s the opposite.
I remember hearing that Rav Avigdor Miller talks about how it’s not good to share everything in a marriage. “Al tarbeh sicha im haisha.”
Hashem “lied” to Avraham about what Sara said for the sake of shalom.
Health, she had said that she was talking about the guys she knows who DONT want to get married at 18. That was her whole point!
Meno – I was going to ask Joseph the same question, but then I realized he is probably just making the point that a Torahdik definition of manhood is not based on work status. But I guess he can explain for himself.
Is it work that you are meant to do on your own and it would be considered cheating to discuss with others?
Maybe he means they are choosy if they don’t want to marry you no matter how old they are ….
Since HGG said that he might be in the Coffee Room, I was assuming he must be Jewish, but perhaps I shouldn’t assume that. I mean I don’t think it’s too likely that Obama or Trump are in the Coffee Room, but I guess you never know.
Meno – I thought it sounded like she meant a Jew in the goyish world. Like, someone who is famous in the goyish world but happens to be Jewish.
Person1 – and it proves my point that I’ve made in numerous other posts that you can tell the same story with the same words, and give it over with numerous meanings!
In any case, the idea of defining someone’s manhood by his job is very not- Jewish. We don’t define people by their hishtadlus for parnassah – that’s very superficial and goyish.
Sparkly – This is the first time you’re mentioning degrees. In your first post, you wrote about working. What are you trying to say now – that if someone is going for a degree, he’s not a man until he starts working? Or do you mean that as soon as he starts his degree, he’s a man?
Either way, I would have a problem with that definition. If you say that he has to be finished his degree before he can be considered a man, what about a guy who is going to Med school and won’t be finished for a long time? And if a guy who is going for a degree is a man, that would mean that every immature 17 or 18 year old guy in college is a man!
Joseph – I don’t know if gals is objectively demeaning; I just don’t like it. I don’t know what most girls think about it. It also just sounds strange to me.
Sparkly – so a 50 year old Talmid Chacham who is learning and supporting the world is a guy and his 14 year old neighbor who dropped out of school and is working in a pizza place is a man?
Meno – she wrote it 2x, so it can’t be a typo. I agree – it is funny.
I’d say you look younger than 100.
Meno – only when you’re joking.
I think there’s no equivalent word for “guy” for girls because it’s considered demeaning to call a lady anything but a lady. The equivalent terms that have been used for girls in the past were all kind of demeaning -gal, babe, etc.
Shopping613 – lol. I was curious about everyone’s ages. I was thinking of starting a thread asking everyone for age ranges: (teenager, 20-24, 25-29, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s & 70’s.).
At first, I thought that mod-29 was 29 but then I found out that there’s a mod-100.
uh..so.. are you guys trying to prove the OP’s point? Did you think it wasn’t obvious and you had to make sure that everyone knows it’s true? Does anyone even remember what it was?
Rav Leff says no, there is more than one person you can marry, and you don’t need to worry that you missed your beshert.
People get confused from a story about the Steipler. An alte bochur came to him and asked him why he’s not married yet, and he said, “you met your zivug but you said no to her.”
The problem is that most people don’t know the second half of the story. He came back the next year, and the Steipler asked him why he’s not married yet. He said, “But you told me that I missed my zivug.” The Steipler said, “So what?”. He got married and had a happy marriage and lived happily ever after. (heard from the son of a Rav who knows the boy).
I read that Rav Chaim, Shlita, says that people heard something his father (the Steipler) said about zivugim and took it out of context and came up with ideas that never existed.
Bottom Line: Don’t worry too much about Medrashim and Kabala when it comes to marriage. Rely on your common sense, marry someone you like who is a good person and makes sense for you, get married l’shem Shamayim with bitachon in Hashem, and whoever you marry is your beshert by definition of the fact that you married them!
Shopping & CT, I don’t think I ever heard anyone say gal or bananot. I think I’d be insulted if they did. When referring to a group of girls, you could say “guys” depending on the context, but it doesn’t work for one girl. In some contexts, it won’t work for a group of girls either. Actually, it only works for a group of girls in the second person, as in, “Hey guys, look at this!” but not in third person, as in, “I saw some guys I know.”
coffee addict – it depends which way leads to more shalom. You’re assuming that most people would say you shouldn’t lie. If it’s true that you shouldn’t lie, the reason is that lying is bad for a relationship and leads to a lack of shalom. If that’s not the case and telling the truth would be bad for your relationship, then you should lie.
My guess is that when it comes to anything that could be found out, lying is probably worse for shalom.
1.female? No
2.Joseph? No
3.alive? Yes
4. Is he from the Coffee Room? don’t know.
5. Is he a Rabbi?