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Sparkly, I already gave you a very long answer to that question in another thread. In short, they have to be long enough that your knees NEVER show.
What in the world is this about? What is SUC? and why did you “bump” this 29?
“I know the brother and sister in law of the “bamboo cradle baby”.
Were Jews…it’s not a secret…I think most people know who they are.”
That’s funny, his name just came up last Shabbos, when the person whose house I was at mentioned that he davens in their shul (might not be the same brother though – there are a few).
Some of the posters wrote that many Jews as opposed to non-Jews engage in these practices. That is motzi shem ra on Am Yisrael. It is particularly dangerous to write such a thing since it feeds into the already existing Antisemitic stereotypes. This is the Internet – the entire world can read what is written here! It is a terrible thing to malign Am Yisrael to the goyim! During the Holocaust, the Nazis took things from the Jewish newspapers and used them to spread Antisemitism, leading to more Jews being murdered. And that was even before Internet!
GAW – I was talking about the US. I was under the impression that the Gedolim or Rabbanim there consider it a Mitzvah to vote, but like I said, I’m not 100% sure.
I just remember that when I was in high school, we were recruited to make calls to encourage people to vote. I assume that there were Gedolim behind this. It is possible that it had to do with a particular issue that was happening, although that was not my impression, but this was years ago and I was a kid at the time, and I don’t really remember exactly what we were making calls for or why.
Au’ contraire, the idea of Middah k’neged middah is that Hashem is showing us that the punishment is a result of the aveirah itself. It’s not that He wants to hurt us because we were bad and “deserve” to be treated badly in return. As one of my rabbaim said, “Hashem doesn’t punish; He corrects.” The whole point of the punishment is to help us. When we do an aveirah, we are hurting our Neshamas. We don’t see it, but every aveirah affects our neshama.
Our whole purpose in this world is to meet challenges and grow from them so that our Neshamas can be on the level they need to be on to be able to go to Gan Eden and be close to Hashem. When someone does an aveirah, he stains his Neshama and his neshama is no longer as pure and it is not possible for his neshama to enter Olam Haba and have a relationship with Hashem.
Through “punishment”, the Neshama is cleansed and is now pure again and able to have a relationship with Hashem. So the punishment is Hashem’s way of helping us out when we mess up and don’t do teshuva. Everything Hashem does is out of love for us and is good.
Hashem brings the punishment in middah k’neged middah form in order to illustrate to us that the punishment and the sin are connected. It’s not that we were bad and t/f Hashem is giving us a potch. The point is that the sin had an actual effect even though we don’t see it, and the punishment is removing THAT effect that we caused so that we can be pure again.
I believe that the Maharal is the source for the above idea.
I may be wrong, but my impression is that the Gedolim consider it important/a Mitzvah to vote. I think that part of the reason for this may be that if the candidates see that a lot of Frum Jews vote, they are more likely to take Frum people’s needs and Israel into consideration. This would apply even if there is no one to vote for.
I also have heard that someone (maybe Rav Avigdor Miller) said that one should vote out of hakaras hatov to the US.
There are probably others here who know more about this me and can bring more accurate quotes on the topic.
It’s not just NCSY- it’s a general problem in the kiruv/bt world. They get tons of support as they are becoming Frum and not enough later on. A huge percentage of kids-at-risk are the children of bt’s. A lot of baalei teshuva get divorced. Baalei teshuvah need a lot of support after they become Frum, as they navigate the shidduch process, and try to figure out to build Frum homes and raise ffb kids despite never having been brought up in a Frum home themselves and being somewhat clueless regarding the differences between ffb’s (their kids) and bt’s (themselves).
A big part of the problem (in terms of their chinuch apporach) lies in not knowing the difference between a chumra and halacha and a kula, being too strict about the wrong things or too lenient about others. The Frum world is EXTREMELY complicated and if you didn’t grow up in it, you need a lot of guidance regarding how to raise your kids.
There are a lot of things that FFB’s take for granted and don’t even think about that baalei teshuva do not realize or is not natural for them.
I do think that the oilam has become more aware of these issues in recent years. Some of the major baalei teshuva schools have started alumni programming and are making efforts to reach out to their alumni. But it is a big job and I am sure that there is more to be done.
In terms of the rest of us, it is important to be aware of these issues so that if you do know any baalei teshuva, no matter how long they have been Frum, it is kidai to make an extra effort to reach out to them and their children.
or perhaps we should make more of an effort to continue hugging them…
People, this thread is becoming pure Motzi Shem Ra on Am Yisrael!!!
I actually know a family that does havdala every week with instruments! Okay, I guess they are not typical. For starters, you have to have some talent in the family or it’s not doable.
To answer your question, you have a valid point to some extent, but I guess the point is that most people are not becoming Frum because they want to have Havdala with a guitar. If it’s that important to them, they can learn to play guitar and do this every week.
I assume the point is to get kids interested in Yiddishkeit enough that they will then spend Shabbosim at people’s houses. But I don’t know anything about NCSY, so this would be better answered by someone who does.
Wolf – I just went back and read some of the original posts. That may be what the person who first brought up the topic (lightbrite) meant, although it’s not completely clear to me if that was the only thing he meant.
I then jumped into the conversation, and I was merely talking about my own feelings.
So you were sort of right. These conversations do get confusing!
Sparkly: “lilmod ulelamaid – im trying to grow and so i NEED to convince my future husband who has a college degree to go to kollel that way we can raise a kollel family together.”
Sparkly, that’s beautiful, I just think that “chas v’shalom that my husband should work” sounds a bit extreme for you. I also think that you should go back and reread Meno’s post that he posted a link to. And I stand by my advice that you should go to Eretz Yisroel to learn for a bit, establish a hashkafic path for yourself, and most importantly find people who can give you guidance and be role models for you.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be for a full year, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be in Eretz Yisrael (although I don’t know if there are any options elsewhere), but I really think you need some guidance!
Does this guy have a Rav? If so, is his Rav someone you can speak to?
GAW: 1. The Shulchan Aruch is not talking about hair. He talks about men putting on their socks under their covers (if the minhag hamakom is not to walk around w/o socks). The Shulchan Aruch brings it down as halacha. It is Rav Moshe Feinstein who considers it to be midas chassidus. The Shulchan Aruch doesn’t say that.
2. “Different people may categorize pritzus differently according to their levels of sensitivity, so exactly what falls under that category may be subjective, and some people’s sensitivities can sound extreme to others who may be on a different level of sensitivity.
You’ve just admitted that it isn’t Halacha, as Halacha doesn’t change based on “sensitivity”.”
You are making it sound as though I originally stated that it was a halacha, and now I am “admitting” that it is not.
On the one hand, I had not stated it was halacha. On the other hand, I never “admitted” that it’s not halacha. I merely stated that some of the exact definitions may not be clear-cut in halacha. That is like saying that being tznius is not halacha simply because some of the aspects of tznius are not clearly defined in halacha and rely on people using their own seichel/sensitivity. Or like saying that “V’ahavta l’raecha kamocha” is not a halacha for the same reason.
Tachlis, I asked my Rav for the halachic source, and I will bring it soon. I just want to verify something first.
3. I am kind of surprised that this concept is such a chiddush for you. You never heard of girls not watching movies?? Or at least being careful what movies they watch???
What was the tznius thread? I missed that.
Sparkly, It’s great that you want to grow, but I am more than a little concerned about this sudden and complete turnaround. To go from wanting a guy who is working to saying “chas v’shalom that my husband should work” seems rather a big change to make such a short time.
Did something happen over the last day or two to cause this change?
edited
There was probably some reason why she can’t offer the full refund to people in certain places but felt that she either could or had to in others. It’s totally legitimate, as long as everyone knows about it and she’s not hiding it.
I never thought or implied there were – I was just talking about emotional issues – the whole concept of an engagement ring is emotional not about mazel or spirituality (except in as much all our actions are connected to spirituality).
In that case, you really do need to go to EY in order to stabilize your growth.
I’m sure there’s some kind of practical reason for it.
Sparkly – what? I thought you were fine with a guy who is either in Kollel OR working? Now you’re saying he definitely can’t work? Nothing wrong with either opinion, but which one is yours? Do you only want a guy who is learning or is either way fine with you?
“Also, dark chocolate is health food.”
That’s why it doesn’t help.
Wolf – huh? Who ever said anything about a religious issue here?