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AlwaysRunWithScissorsFast – there are really good terms nowadays for Student Loans. I don’t know if you are doing a BA or an MA, but if you are doing an MA, you can take out up to $20,500 in student loans a year. If you find a program that only costs $10,000 per year, you get to keep the other $10,500 per year for living expenses.
You don’t have to start paying back the loans until you finish school. You can then get an Income based repayment plan which means that you basically don’t have to pay back more than you can afford. Depending on the exact plan you get, you only have to pay back 10-20% of your dispensible income (the amount by which your income exceeds your expenses). So if you are having trouble making ends meet, you probably won’t have to pay back anything.
The unpaid portion of the loan is forgiven after 20-25 years or when you are 120 years old. The one catch might be that you might have to pay taxes on the part that they forgive which could add up to a lot due to accrued interest. However, it is not clear that you have to pay taxes on it, and it is possible that you could choose not to have the unpaid portion of the loan forgiven and just continue paying what you can afford. I am not sure though if that is an option, so that is something you would need to look into.
In any case, it is worth it to take out loans so that you can have a means of earning money. If you can get money from Rechnitz, obviously that would be better, but if that doesn’t work out, you might want to consider this.
If you are doing a BA, you can also take out students loans, but I’m not sure what the amount is. You can also do an Income Based Repayment Plan.
Hatzlacha!
AVi K.: “Lilmod, instead of tow people being miserable four can be happy.”
I agree. But I’m still trying to convince some others around here.
Goyim who keep the 7 Mitzvos b’nei Noach have a portion in Olam Haba. I don’t know if that is the same as Gan Eden.
The only true reward is being close to Hashem. So presumably anyone who goes to Olam Haba gets to be close to Hashem. I would think that being close to Hashem = learning Torah and that would mean that goyim learn Torah too, but I don’t know. After all, goyim also have a mark above their lips, so maybe they also learned Torah before they were born. They do have a Neshama after all.
I am copying and pasting part of a post that Little Froggie wrote on another thread because I think it is very relevant here. (Hope you don’t mind, Little Froggie):
“Women by nature tend to crave close relationship. It’s inherent, deep within them. Men by nature do not NEED this connection-relationship, their desire lie elsewhere (not for now).
This is the powerful “glue” HaShem in His wisdom set in motion. When you come to think of it, it almost seems miraculous- why should a women submit herself to a husband (and all it entails), go though childbirth etc.. And why in the world would a happy-go-lucky man want to link himself up with a woman just for some external features or other senseless attributes? It’s these miraculous forces at work. A woman knows she’s forgoing her freedom, ???? ????? ??, nevertheless ??? ??? ?????? she craves this, and does so most willingly. Man knows (most of them at least) what he’s in for by the time he’s ready to step under the Chuppa (unless they did a good job hiding), that’s the ??? ??? ??? ????? because ??? ??? ??? ?????. As Chazal say elsewhere ?? ??? ??? ???? ?? ??? ??? ??? ?????? ??? ?????. All for one cause, to effect a “family”. That’s why we put the pasuk ???? ???? ??? ??? on a Tnaim.
Back to the first point, the deep relationship part, it is was and will be mostly the female’s inyan in the marriage.”
LF- Amen! Very Nice! Maybe you should rewrite this on the “Why was woman created thread?”
So maybe it IS a good idea to get divorced if you have a bad marriage so you don’t have to get stuck with the person for eternity! 🙂
This morning as I was davening it occurred to me that to the extent that I am focused on my relationship with Hashem, it bothers me less that I am single.
Maybe you should try signing up for Partners-In-Torah. It’s a really good program and it sounds like it might be just the thing for you. They set you up with a mentor whom you learn with over the phone once a week. As an introvert, that would be a really good set up for you. At the same time, you would be making a connection with someone, and if things work out, she might have you over for Shabbos or Holidays or help you find a way to be part of a community.
And in terms of your observance level, you can just be yourself. They have people with all levels of observance.
I would have said no, but it depends how you are defining the term. Joseph is defining the term in such a way that it is something goyish. Those who think it’s not goyish think that way because they are defining it differently.
Hope that didn’t come out too harshly Goq- was trying not to – my apologies if it did.
Golfer: “creature was endowed with whatever it needs to fulfill its purpose. So if woman’s purpose is to be an ornament, to have children, and to sew, why was she endowed (“Vayiven ess hatzelah”), from the moment of her creation, with bina yiseirah?”
I’m not sure, but I think that “sewing” may be a reference to bina yeseirah. Similar to the Midrash that says that men bring the flour and women make it into bread (or something like that) which is a reference to their different (spiritual) tafkidim.
I will have to look into it when I have a chance.
Zeeskeit: “TO BRING SHLEIMUS TO THE WORLD!!”
Yes! Good answer!
Just curious, Joseph – why are you so into these kinds of topics?
Rav Leff talks about that in the recording I mentioned in another thread. Actually, he talks about that in terms of Techiyas Hamaisim.
In terms of gilgulim, can the same person be both a man and a woman? I don’t see why not. I don’t think Neshamas have genders.
I don’t think “ornamental purposes” is an accurate translation of “l’yofi”.
All these things (like most things Chazal say) are meant on a deeper level.
I don’t think the sewing is meant literally. I feel like I may have learned what it means once, but I don’t remember anymore.
Actually, it should be obvious that it’s not meant literally.
What if they don’t have a husband? They can’t go to Gan Eden?
Big Golem: “Theprof1, I was told many times that the meaning of that is learning.”
If that is the case, then clearly the women learn in Gan Eden.
DY: “How is saying a spouse should not be prioritized the same as saying their needs should be at least as important as your own?”
If I hear someone say that their spouse’s needs are not their top priority, to me that means that they don’t consider their spouse’s needs to be their own needs. Your needs are always your top priority, so I would think your spouse’s should be as well.
And Joseph, I suppose you think that before girl babies are born, instead of learning Torah, they learn how to make potato kugel?
theprof1: “They enjoy the spiritual feeling of being with the shechina.”
+1
The Goq – I just want to point out that you don’t know BY girl’s friend, so it doesn’t seem like what you’re saying is LH, but since BY girl knows her, it is probably LH for you to say something negative about her to BY girl.
This is a common mistake and one that I probably make all the time. For example, a friend could be talking about someone w/o mentioning the name, and I’ll say, “That’s terrible, how could she do that?” w/o stopping to think that it’s LH since she knows who the person is even if I don’t.
I’m also not sure that you are right. I think what she meant is just that Chofetz Chaim has a very specific hashkafa and she wasn’t sure that it’s right for BY girl, but then it was hard for her to explain exactly what she meant because these things can be hard to explain (especially when you’re trying hard to avoid LH).
They learn Torah of course! And when they get there, they have all the Torah knowledge that their husbands learned in their zchus.
Lenny, if one spouse definitely wants out after having tried for several years to make things work and after mediation and therapy were attempted and failed, and the other one is refusing to get divorced, the Rabbanim will usually try to convince him to give a Get, and most men will realize they are not accomplishing anything by refusing to give a Get in such a case.
If your marriage is that important to you and you still want to try to make things work, your focus right now should be on trying to figure out if and how you can make your wife happy and not on how you can force her to stay married to you against your will. And making her happy is not about money; it’s about listening to her complaints and not invalidating them.
Shopping – aren’t you in seminary? Do you find it hard not being married while you are in seminary? (not being critical – just curious)
I meant “get involved in the details” She wasn’t “baring it all” as you say. She was saying that she is really upset with these people. She did not share any details, and it is not our business to ask (and that could end up being L”H, since people might be able to identify the people in question if too many details are given)
In any case, the person will only get punished if they deserve it.
Little Froggie: “But the person under duress is in a entirely different situation. ??? ??? ???? ???? ????, and sometimes it gets overwhelming, the tzaar is too big for the person and he/she cries out in pain. Do you know the pasuk, ??? ???? ???? ?? ?? It’s for real! (interesting Gemarah and meforshim) And a person who cries out in anguished pain…. it’s quite a scary thing. No – she won’t be judged. On the contrary… you don’t want to be the recipeint!!!
The case in question – little me, and so many others here, ARE privy to the bit she had revealed… Suffice it to say no one would want or freely choose her pekel…”
Very well-put!
Little Froggie: “LuL: I don’t think it’s a Mitzvah to vent.. it’s rather a Mitzvah to lend an ear and lend a shoulder to someone venting… (if I’m not mistaking)”
I’m pretty sure it works both ways. I don’t have a source off-hand, but I asked Rav Pliskin (author of “Guard Your Tongue”) about it, and he told me that it is muttar to speak Loshon Hora in order to vent (obviously you have to be careful to fulfill the conditions of “toeles” and choose the person you speak to wisely).
In this case, there is no loshon hora issue, so it’s certainly not assur.
In terms of being a Mitzvah, I don’t have a source on me (although I can ry to come up with one when I have time) but I am pretty sure it is a Mitzvah. It is part of taking care of your emotional well-being, which is the reason one is allowed to listen to someone vent.
Gofish 🙂 Thanks! You always have such nice things to say to me!
Hatzlacha! Let us know what happens!
Okiale, I finally got in touch with the person I mentioned. He is a Rebbe in Chofetz Chaim. Based on what I told him, he thought the Rochester branch of Chofetz Chaim might be a good idea for you. They have a website which I assume you can find through Google. It is called TIUNY.
He also thought that any of the out-of-town Chafetz Chaim’s would be good. He mentioned the Chafetz Chaim in Dallas as an example.
He did not think the Brooklyn Chafetz Chaim would be a good idea.
We still aren’t supposed to make them suffer unnecessarily.
Thanks Meno and Reuven. I didn’t realize that Europe is a band, so I was confused.
When I lived in Lakewood, whenever I worked with men, they called me “Rebbetzin” since they didn’t want to call me by my first name.
I found that pretty cool.
Once, someone greeted me by saying, “How is the Rebbetzin?” It took me a good five minutes to figure out what he was talking about!
Well then you also have “The Janitor” and “The taxi driver” and “The bus driver” and “The Doctor”
By the way, it’s really annoying that when I have conversations with the moderators, I have no idea which moderator I am talking to! I don’t know how many of you there are, but I know there is more than one, but to me you are all one person!
“Are you sure about that?”
What is that supposed to mean?
Winnie The Pooh +1
Actually, I think one of the solutions to the Shidduch Crisis is for girls to realize that it is not a crisis and they can live fulfilling, meaningful lives even without marriage. While it is important to do hishtadlus and daven to get married, it is not healthy to live one’s life feeling like I am just waiting to get married, and if I don’t get married, my life has no meaning.
There have always been people who didn’t or couldn’t get married. And if there is any truth to all the numbers and calculations, it is not possible for every girl to get married, so why should she feel her life is meaningless? Also, at a certain point, it is impossible to be “mekayim” the Mitzvah of “pru u’rvu” anyhow, so why get depressed about something impossible?
“Sorry, you can’t be a part of the squad without a universal delete button”
I’m part of the peaceful non-coercive squad. I don’t believe in “kefiya datit” (religious coercion). 🙂
Are you sure about that?
I believe in education.
“Or people can speak in a nice manner for a toeles purpose–so there won’t be any L’H issues…”
I don’t know what you are referring to, but there are MANY conditions in order for something to be okay for toeles purposes. It is very hard to fulfill every one of them. One of the biggest Yetzer horas when it comes to Loshon Hora is to claim that it’s toeles and therefore it’s okay.
When I have a chance, bli neder, I will try to post those halachos on my Shmiras Haloshon thread. Thanks for the idea, Reuven!
“Cook and Baker.”
Huh?
Meno: “Nice”.
Thanks! I’m part of the Shmiras Haloshon squad. I’m considering starting a Tznius one as well soon.
Sorry, you can’t be a part of the squad without a universal delete button
Anon21 – she’s expressing her feelings! You don’t know who she is talking about so there are no Loshon Hora issues, and it’s a Mitzvah to vent if you need to!
What does “moser din al chaveiro” mean?