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It’s good to know about these things, because some of them may still be relevant. I think I remember seeing something about plates or cups last year.
Do people argue about Cholov Yisroel in the CR? I never noticed that. You forgot to mention seminaries.
I’m glad people are arguing about politics – less LH issues.
How many American-Israeli sems are there anyhow? I only know of Chedvas and Pninim. And Michlalah sometimes used to have one – I don’t know if they still do. Are there others?
So can posters contact you? How would they know your email address? I’m not necessarily planning on doing so; I’m just curious, in case I would ever want to.
guess
That was exactly my point. They have dorms and therefore, one does get the real seminary experience there. The typical Israeli seminaries do no have dorms and one does not get the “seminary experience” there. (although, one get other things).
Thanks for responding, Shopping. So it would be, “moderator100@gmail” for example?
I don’t even know who the moderators are – they don’t usually name themselves. I know there’s a 29 and a 100. Are there others?
Does anyone ever really email them?
L’chatchila, I’m not supposed to. But, if I feel it’s really necessary, I’m allowed to. What is the definition of “really necessary”? That depends on the person and/or her Rav, but there is more leeway for girls according to Halacha.
bump
The maaleh of being single and female! I can sleep whenever I want to!
I just came across this. Just curious, do the Moderators still have these email addresses?
bump.
btw, it’s spelled right.
bump
Torah613Torah – +1! What the goyim do to us is up to Hashem. We should be much more concerned about what we do! It is our actions that affect the world.
“The prohibition is not for you to see it, but for it “to be seen”
on your property, that is, to be there (even if you don’t eat it).”
Right. Just want to clarify 3 points:
1. You are allowed to see it if it is not yours – for example, food in the grocery store- since the problem is not the “seeing”, it’s the owning.
2. If you own it, it’s a problem even if you can’t see it – for example, it’s packed away somewhere or it’s not on your property.
3. When it comes to eating chometz, any amount is a problem. When it comes to owning chametz, if it’s small enough and/or ruined enough, it’s not a problem. Hence, the above discussion about crumbs.
For the exact amounts, you should check with your LOR, as I have heard different things.
I thought that less than a k’zayis was fine, but then I heard that it has to be less than the size of a cheerio.
It may depend on whether or not it is ruined/inedible, or it may be different opinions, or I may have been wrong about the k’zayis.
“One should try to keep away the electronic toys first and worry about the lego’s and tinker toys later, Taking them all away and making the kid take out a sefer instead may backfire”
I think that all or most Poskim say that they are not a problem for kids. I am sure that no one says that you have to take it away from a kid (certainly not a kid who is young enough that “it will backfire”).
I agree with your point though, and it is a very important point. When taking away something from a kid on Shabbos, you have to be very careful how it is done.
I once read an article in which someone said that instead of saying, “we don’t do x on Shabbos”, you should say, “we can do x on sunday”.
I disagree with that, but I agree that you should try to phrase things positively. You should say, “We do Y & Z on Shabbos”.
sounds like a great game! thanks for sharing!
Also, the major difference between baaleit teshuva and recovering addicts is that not being Frum is not an addiction.
“Also, the term “baalei teshuva” includes a very broad range of people.” “Really everyone is a Baal Teshuva as at least once a year around the Jewish New Year everyone repents so defining it maybe difficult.”
I think that in this case (as well as the usual way the term is used), we are talking about people who have done teshuva for things which they hadn’t known were wrong in the first place (people who didn’t grow up Frum).
That is why there is less of a concern that they will revert back to their old ways. They were only doing things they hadn’t known were wrong at the time they did them.
On the other hand, if someone does teshuva for things that they knew were wrong when they did them (like what everyone is supposed to do on Y”K and every day for that matter), there is more reason to believe they will return to their old ways.
“I also disagree with you about a recovering alcoholic, they should NEVER be around alcohol period, the temptation is so great.”
I wasn’t sure if we were talking about a recovering alcoholic in that example or not. I wasn’t clear what we were talking about; that’s why I was trying to clarify. In any case, I also didn’t know whether or not recovering alcoholics have to abstain completely. Thank you for clarifying that point.
I totally understand (and agree with) all of the posters telling you not to worry since you are only 20.
At the same time, I am concerned about the fact that your parents won’t you let you shidduch-date. At one time, the normal way to have met people may have been different, but it seems to me that nowadays, refusing to go on shidduchim amounts to relying on a miracle.
It is possible that it is different in your circles. However, even in circles in which people meet on the own, they usually also go on shidduchim when applicable and appropriate. Even in the secular world, l’havdil, there is a concept of blind dates.
My grandparents, a”h, weren’t Frum, and even they met via a blind date. While, actually, my grandmother was calling my grandfather to try to set him up with another girl, and he ended up asking her out. But she was trying to set him up on a blind date.
If you felt like this system (of meeting guys on your own) was working for you, I wouldn’t be concerned. But it sounds like you don’t think it’s working and you would want to go on shidduchim if your parents let.
Is there any way to convince them? Do you have a Rav whom you can discuss this with, and maybe have him speak to them? Maybe you can ask your parents if they can let you try it once or twice (the first time you may be nervous, so maybe it should be twice) and see how it goes.
I think someone needs to explain to your parents (politely, of course) that even though it worked for them, things are different nowadays. Just like they didn’t meet the same way that their grandparents or great-grandparents did.
Thanks! I’ll check it out when I have a chance.
“2. It’s true if you really believe in hashem you shouldn’t be “heartbroken” over political outcome. However it’s quite childish to use this as an argument against the political side you oppose.”
I think his point was that you shouldn’t be heartbroken.
“1. Just because Trump has won, say miraculousky, doesn’t mean his message or his personality are better or that he is going to make America “great again”. Hashem plan might include Trump making America much smaller actually. The analogy to this argument is that because ISIS are so succesful in the middle east there might be some truth in their agenda.”
True, but I don’t think that was his point.
There are two aspects to “Hashem runs the world, so everything that happens is good.”
A. One is that even “bad” is good. Like ISIS is “good” because we it is good for us to be punished and suffer. It doesn’t mean that ISIS is good but that it is good for us that ISIS is there. But of course, we still have to do whatever is in our power to try to destroy it. And we still have to be upset about the “bad” things they do, because even if they are ultimately for our “good”, they are still bad right not.
“gam zu L’tova”, it’s L’tova, not “tova”, it is for the good, but it is not good.
B. The other aspect is that something may seem bad, but it is really good (as in good right now, not “for the good”.)
In the case of Trump, if someone is very anti-Trump, they may feel that only the first applies. However, it seems to me that even if you are anti-Trump, you still have to say that it’s the second type. Because the fact is, that none of us really has any idea yet what he will be like as president (and therefore it can turn out to be good, if we daven and do Mitzvos).
Furthermore, it is important to remember that Hashem runs the world and not the president. That is why it is not a good idea to get too involved in politics (except to the extent that you are in a position to do actual hishtadlus). We have to remember to place our bitachon in Hashem, and that it is our Torah and Mitzvos that change the world, not the president.
lol.
“opposites attract” only works in terms of certain types of traits.
And even in terms of those traits, there has to be some similarity.
Person1- I looked back to see if you are right and I am taking him out of context. (I do have to admit to not reading all the posts in this thread – no patience for politics). However his post reads as follows:
“I am not alone in believing that Yad Hashem was evident, and we do not understand why, so all those Hillary fans, do you not believe Hashem runs the world and deemed the outcome of this election?”
The continuation of his sentence is “and deemed the outcome of this election”. So that seems to be pretty clearly what he meant (even w/o reading all of the other posts).
Although it is true that I am looking for someone who is better than me in some of my weak points, and I am willing to marry someone who is somewhat weaker than me in my strong ones.
I know. So was mine.
LB- I’ve noticed that too. But I think that some posters may have taken breaks and weren’t consistently here for 7 years.
I guess if people work on line, they need to take breaks. If you are going to surf the web, it is definitely better that people spend time here than elsewhere.
Hopefully, it is not a major part of their lives, and is just something to take a break with.
“By the way, I’d like to welcome you to the small group of posters who have ever taken anything they said back, or qualified it at all. There’s about 2 of us.”
Actually, there’s at least three. Lightbrite gets the #1 award for that!
“so all those Hillary fans, do you not believe Hashem runs the world”
“I have a question too for all those trump supporters: don’t you belive one shouldn’t talk during Shachris and should be makpid on Nagel Vaser?!”
not sure what your point is. Flatbusher’s point is that beforehand, we have a chiyuv to do hishtadlus. Afterwards, we have a chiyuv to say that we don’t know what is the best for us, only Hashem does, it was from Hashem and it is good.
This is particularly true in a case in which it really is not clear if it’s good or bad.
“lev melachim b’Yad Hashem.” Especially in this case.
just make sure that you have a reliable and good one. There are a lot of Rabbis out there.
“We try to pass a smile, be supportive, give a lift, inject energy… ??? ?? ???? ??????, ?????? ???? ???!!”.
Have to admit this goes well with the Dec. 25th Giyores thread.”
lol. I wonder how many people got that! It took me a minute. I’m assuming that you meant that as per the real context of the possuk (at least according to the pshat – I don’t know if there are other explanations), and not the way it is usually used.
The only context I ever heard of it before was people blaming the lady whose 4 year old ran into the gorillas’ cage.
That really upset me! If you want to use a harness, that is one thing, but you can’t blame others for not using one. Also, the kid was four years old. Yes, four year olds run around. That’s life! You can’t keep your kids in cages your whole life, and you can’t prevent every possibility of an accident.
“By the way, I’d like to welcome you to the small group of posters who have ever taken anything they said back, or qualified it at all. There’s about 2 of us.”
🙂
I hope it grows. That is one of the things I find most frustrating about the CR! No matter how many times or how well you try to explain something, it doesn’t do anything if people aren’t willing to be open to the possibility of listening and chasing their minds at all.
I hope nothing that I said could have been taken as offensive or critical. I’m just trying to understand the topic as it is a chiddush for me.
You did do a good job of explaining it. And using it while walking down the street (as opposed to in the park) certainly makes sense.
And I agree that 16 months is young to teach a kid not to run into the street. Anyhow, he can learn from observing his older siblings, since you are clearly not talking about an oldest or only child.
someone else asked about that once, and someone said it has to do with the space b/w my two names. But I think that I have been able to click on it when I tried – that’s how I found out how long I’d been here – 🙂 I know I joined in the summer – probably sometime in July.
Everyone thought I was a guy at first, but I let them know right away that I’m a girl. I’ve sometimes wondered if I should have let everyone continue thinking I’m a guy.
I think I joined right after I started reading posts. I think you joined shortly after me, no? When did you join?
nauseous! Since you would probably throw up before it’s digested, I would posken that it doesn’t need a hashgacha.
LB- just saw your post from 4 days ago. Thanks for all the compliments! You’re really sweet – I think your subtitle should have been something along those lines – Sweetest poster or something about sweetening your cup, etc.
In terms of your growth, I am always very impressed by the Ahavas Hashem and sincerity and Ahavas Yisrael that comes through in your posts! I feel like I have a lot to learn from you.
Yasher Koach (according to the literal meaning)
depends on the definition. the way people sometimes use it – maybe not. The “real” meaning and the way it is sometimes used – can be problematic.
However, I’m not worried about Shopping here- if she’s brainwashed, it would only be in the good way. She doesn’t sound like the “brainwashable” type (in the bad way).
are you joking or serious? If you’re serious, cool!! 🙂
I really do think you’ll like it. (at least I sure hope so, because I can’t give you your money back if you don’t!)
LF- I hope you’ll forgive me for bringing up a serious topic on your thread, but you have to admit it was worth it!
“LU -“no one can expect to marry someone perfect”
“I expect to marry s/o perfect, because I’m perfect!”
That’s exactly why you shouldn’t then. Didn’t you know that “opposites attract”? Or to put in a more Torahdik lashon, you are supposed to marry someone who is “mashlim” you.
THAT is why I am looking for someone perfect – because I am not, and I need someone to be “mashlim” me!
Really??? wow, I’m shocked! Was it in Lakewood? What I want to know is, where does the harness go on the child – is it around his wrist, his waist or other?
I wish people would give it another name so it wouldn’t sound so bad.
How old was the kid?
btw, LB, off the topic, but speaking of shiurim, I really think you should read Gila Manolson’s book, “outside/inside” or maybe it’s called “inside/outside”. I really think you’d like it. She talks about tznius from a COMPLETELY different perspective then the way that I was and the way you are used to hearing about it.
You are a very positive person, and you need to hear about it in a positive way, not a negative way, and that is the point of her book – to present tznius as a positive, not as a negative. Also, to show how it’s something you do for yourself, not for Martians. I think it would really take the “pressure” off of the whole issue.
You can order it online. I would order a copy for you, but since I don’t know your name or address, I can’t.
not that I know of. Most people I know don’t use internet, and the ones that do would be unlikely to post here.
I have tried figuring out if any of the posters here could be anyone I know, but I’ve ruled out most possibilities.
A lot of people are easy to rule out. For example, one poster mentioned that he is an engineer and his wife is a marriage therapist. I don’t know anyone who fits that description. I know enough about you to know that I can’t possibly know you. Amongst other things you mentioned a dog – that would rule out practically everyone I know :).
There is one poster who said that she thinks she knows who I am, and that I don’t know her but I know her friends. It’s funny because when I was at a certain friend for Shabbos recently, she started telling me about one of her cousins and in a lot of ways she sounded like this poster. There were a few things that I didn’t think fit, but it’s not impossible that it’s her.
It was really funny though because as she was telling me about her cousin and certain things sounded like Gofish, I was about to ask her if her cousin is Gofish and then I realized I can’t ask her that :). She isn’t the type of person I’d be comfortable telling about the CR.
I always envision meeting CRer’s in real life. The truth is it would be awkward, because I have certain images of people, and if I were to meet them in real life, they would probably seem very different. I do feel like in some ways, we are all playing a part here, even those of us who are very straightforward and honest.
I’m just curious – how many posters, if any, know other posters?
you’re still online – can’t be too brainwashed 🙂
‘I have even heard doctors warn someone against dating someone else with a similar condition.”
When I spoke about hereditariness, I was actually thinking about the problems involved with going out with someone who has something that also runs in your own family. If both sides have something, there is likely to be a much greater risk of the kids having it.
The story from Tanach is from the Navi. The child was Menashe who was a really big Rasha. I think his father was Chizkiyahu Hamelech. The problem was that he didn’t want to have kids and men have a chiyuv to have kids.
In our case, we are talking about someone who has several suggestions and decides to go out with the one who has no known hereditary conditions as opposed to the one who has a genetic condition that he/she is not sure that he can handle.
Thanks a lot for your validation, Lightbrite. You are probably right that people are upset about the stigma, but I think that people should also not stigmatize people who don’t want to go out with people who have certain conditions. There can be very valid reasons for this.
No one is perfect and no one can expect to marry someone perfect. Each person has to think about what is right for him/her and what he/she can handle, and no one should judge another’s decision.
does it really last forever? can you really eat honey from 2,000 years ago?
it wouldn’t taste as sweet anymore if it were the only thing you ever ate. We only appreciate light because there’s darkness. If it was always light, we wouldn’t even have a name for it.
I mean Golfer’s question
Do we have to insult each other? 🙁
I was so excited when I saw there was a comment on this thread – I thought s.o. finally answered my question