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Yay!!!!!!!! Mazal Tov lilmod ulelamaid!!!
Moderators yay!!! A subtitle for LU 🙂
***So AWESOME of You to Make One for LU***!!!
Such talented subtitle writers you are 🙂
“LB – why were you trying to bribe the moderators? To get them to give me a nice subtitle? If so, that is very nice of you. “
lilmod ulelamaid: Yes of course!!! Anything for you 🙂
………..It’s a pretty genius subtitle.
lishmo’a – You listen and Others listen to you! So true <3
Enough Divorces: Understandable and thank you for your voice
It would be nice to have people work on their relationships.
I wonder if being in a closed community also has benefits in that there are limited options or socially acceptable ways to just move on and find a new crowd. In Israel it’s def harder to get away. So maybe that forces people to live with each other and face themselves.
In the secular US, it’s easier to escape the world you grew up in at least in some way. That helps for someone who lived with abuse.
At the same time, if the individualsame who got away with abusive behavior had to be accountable or else, perhaps cases of abuse wouldn’t become so severe.
Perhaps there would be positive character reformation where the labels wouldn’t even apply in the unfortunate way that they are used today.
Even in the way that I’m using them.
Since this thread can go on and on, what positive things can we say here to inspire us and make this an uplifting thread beyond the hardship we’ve shared and discussed?
This morning I thought about how if one keeps going and improving oneself then in time the right relationship will be ready where someone will also want to put in the same work that oneself is investing.
Knowing about divorces is motivation to be committed to continually working on relationships.
Thank you for reminding us that marriages can work with mutual and consistent gratitude and effort 🙂
Cake is not fair.
Maybe if carrot cake was topped in shredded carrots and raisins that would be less unhealthy than cream cheese frosting.
But that is carrot cake.
Even healthy foods like dates, dried figs, and nuts are fatty. That is also unfair.
I think we should have stomach bags like vaccum bags. If we don’t have a stomach bag inside, then whatever goes into the canister is digested.
If we do have a stomach bag inside, after a Simcha meal or just happy nosh, we can simply remove the bag and brush our teeth of sugary residues. The bag can be dumped in the garbage disposal. Rinsed. And turned upside down to dry before the next use.
This would only require that our rib cage be opened like a cabinet door.
The only issues that I foresee here are the following:
The bags will have to come in various sizes depending on one’s age and body size.
Eating dessert after a healthy meal may be cause for someone to have to leave the room to insert a bag. Maybe there could be a button that will inflate the bag when needed. Otherwise it will be inside the person all folded up when it’s not in use.
Also
This may be helpful for someone who overly consumes alcohol or swallows other substances but that’s open for future research and legislation
—-Frozen bananas make awesome ice cream with a little water and/or orange juice and tahini.
Maybe that could be the filling of an ice cream cake. And the crust could be ground almonds and dates and toasted oats. The corner pieces and sides would be all the same
iacisrmma: two things please
1) Because I want to know. Maybe this person will come back. Maybe someone else will respond accordingly.
Anything can be possible but it won’t happen on my watch if I don’t try.
Should I wait for another poster to ask? Does it bother you?
If you know the answer or have experience making your own baby wipes then please feel free to chime in.
2) Am I the official announcer of old threads even when I wasn’t the first to bring them back in style?
Fine. It’s not my job so I will volunteer on an as-needed basis according to my availability.
****HEADS UP TODAY IS Dec. 7, 2016 and THIS THREAD was Dormant for 6 years****
Have a great day! 🙂
Joseph: I would like to apologize please.
After looking back at the “Women on a higher level” thread, it does sound like I was stating that women are in fact on a higher level.
I did not mean to say that I believe this is so. Granted it is nice to think that, for being told that also evokes a responsibility to play the part and be content with this role.
However I think that I am just a person and everyone, men and women, are on various spiritual levels. I still want to learn more about what men and women are taught.
Sometimes I wonder if rabbonim are like oracles, where they not only tell us truths but what we need to hear to achieve or become our highest selves.
Also… if women are taught that they are on a higher level and this is not so, then how does one know that being Jewish makes one on a higher level than a nonJew?
Is there really no evidence from our Sages that demonstrates that our souls are just as close to Hashem as other people?
Thanks and please forgive me
Are we not a traumatized people?
There are objective research studies that show how intergenerational trauma and chronic stress affect the current generations.
Hashem gave us tools in addition to Torah. Are you saying that your madrigal is so high that all anyone needs for a healthy relationship is complete emuna? Do you not eat?
When there are interpersonal struggles in your life do you forgo communication with anybody always and turn only to Hashem and is that a solution? Because if so then why give us material Yidden the time of day when you have real life to elevate?
Even rabbonim today say that no one in this generation is on the level that all we need is emuna and Hashem will clothe, bathe, feed, and heal us. We need histadulus.
That includes therapists, doctors, acts of kindness to spouses, open channels of communication, and all the other ways that one can use to become a kli for brachot.
You have every right to disagree. However to imply that Hashem backs this opinion is a way to bypass and opt out.
Permission to deny granted.
Still doesn’t mean that yichusdik doesn’t uphold the Torah.
Was it Rashi or Rambam who was a doctor? What he didn’t think that Torah was enough? Shall we lift our noses up to him as well?
IMHO Living in a Torah community doesn’t have to mean that family problems are swept under the rug. Do we do that for Hashem or for our own egos?
Being proactive and fostering healthy relationships through teaching and counseling could give the Torah the kavod it deserves. Why not?
Dunno if you were talking about my post but I had a delayed response to showjoe’s “both. you guys are smart and funny”
Smart too obviously, which comes through in the humor
Lol Torag613Torah
Comlink-X come again please?
Is this a play on the mirror joke?
Maybe hot dog chulent is for the 14 and under crowd? 14-18yr olds eat both depending on what table they sit at
Maybe I need to make it myself because for some reason using ground meat sounds good
IMHO that comparison doesn’t parallel
They are really funny.
Do Moderators take subtitle bribes? What if it’s for a mitzvah?
Maybe flattery will work.
Your neshamah makes Eliyahu Hanavi take note.
When you light Shabbos candles, even the melechim sing Shalom Alechem.
When you bentch, I get goosebumps.
Your Yom Kippur breath smells like sweet peppermint candies.
I would eat a gallon of maror just to daven mincha beside you.
Oh Moderators, how wonderful are thee
What happens if you use ground meat?
The Moderators did an excellent job with your subtitle Health!
Because REAL women are seen and not heard.
Sounds like you know best.
Thread closed.
If there are any REAL Men here, you would know better than to chit chat with mixed crowds. BTW your supper is getting cold.
“The implication is that men are the cause of divorce!”
Health I am sorry that you experienced a divorce so close to home.
I cannot speak for the other posters, but I can say that I did not take it as only men are abusers.
The issue is that sometimes men have more of a reputation in a community as being upstanding, so the point here is to say that being a mentch in public does not necessarily make one in private.
It is possible that the wife may be a tyrant in the home. Even so, with men having more control over finances and more opportunities, unfortunately men who are abusive get a pass in society. Even Trump is out there awaiting Presidency come January.
Yes and sometimes it is not the wife or the husband. Others that get involved may be the instigators. That includes in-laws too. Which is super unfortunate. Dunno.
Health: A blessing for you…
May you marry your zivug sheni b’karov, if you so desire.
neatfreak: Only for Shabbos though? It sounds like making them may be more expensive than buying them at the store (unless they are special Shabbos baby wipes which I assume are way more expensive).
“Even in some frum circles if, for example, you go to a sheva brochos you’ll hear jokes at the husbands expense but never the other way. “
Joseph: Wow. I’ve actually only heard the opposite. One time, a man was giving a Bar Mitzvah L’Chaim and made jokes at his wife’s expense. It was so awkward. I don’t know if men were laughing because they thought it was funny or because they felt some obligation to laugh.
Joseph: Are you also the Daat Torah blogger?
Joseph: Btw I wasn’t asserting. If you noticed, I was asking what men thought about this perspective, of which I was told. More than anything, it was a survey of thoughts. I want to understand different viewpoints. Questioning them doesn’t make me an enemy. It demonstrates my interest. Yes though I am not going to agree that Hashem made women to be barefoot and pregnant. Only Hashem is in charge of who gives birth. Not all women do.
—Seriously though, where else do you blog?
Thank you
Eight month old thread***
Good to read if you want to lose your appetite.
The title sounds like the name of a planet
Can I get a wayback machine on eBay?
From this world to the next, always learning and teaching -That’s how she rolls ?
It’s good that we don’t have to live with each other.
Lol! Thanks, I thought that I was losing my marbles. Do they still make marbles? Those things are dangerous. Bouncy balls are too but alas they are too much fun.
Which one is missing?
Ooops sorry I spelled your name incorrectly lilmod ulelamaid. Hmmm… that’s a challenge. Any requirements?
Hair is splitting. Breaking off. Like a tree branch that keeps getting hacked at until it’s this frayed little finger pointing at you
Please please please for Channukah will you make a subtitle for lilmod ulemaid?
“Kol Nidrei cannot annul promises made to another person.”
Comlink-X!!!! Omgosh you’re right!!!! I made a promise to someone that I didn’t keep. Life circumstances changed and I didn’t apologize. Rahh!!! Thank you !
Yichusdik & Avrum in MD +Infinity!
Thanks lilmod ulelamaid for saying it first and offering thanks too!!!
…..To anyone who thought that I was offering a black and white picture, Ooops, sorry I failed to mention all the things that the non-abusive spouse did over the years to make things work. The food was terrible so the person learned how to cook different types of food, all according to the person’s desires and none were ever good enough. The house was never clean enough so the person would come home from work to a house full of children and clean. The children took up too much time.
There are many things that are inappropriate to add here too.
The person spoke to the abusing spouse kindly, at a different time, not at all, when requested, through a family member, it goes on. It’s maddening to figure it out because there is nothing to figure out about this case of irrational behavior. What worked was staying far away.
This is my family that I am talking about. My parents. I love them. Each parent has strengths and weaknesses. Being separated from each other allowed me to appreciate each as a person with unique qualities. Baruch Hashem.
No one goes into a marriage G-d forbid expecting or wanting to divorce. My parents married after only a few months. They moved to another country. Isolation from social support. Obviously the parent that was abusive does not think that anything is wrong with the behavior. I know better thank G-d. My parents are divorced. Both of my parents had a parent die when they were teenagers. May my parents live to 120 in good sweet health with long days with blessings always B’esrat Hashem with Hashem’s loving-grace.
Ahh wow; Thank you for sharing tznius!
What if this was at an airport? Someone brings a suitcase full of extremely impregnated mosquitos. Unzips by security and then what? People wouldn’t realize until after. Extended length flights (JFk to OGG) would be so uncomfortable.
Anyone dressing tzniusly would see the hand of Hashem sparing their arms and legs. Bare arms, the first to succumb.
Using pesticides indoors is a health concern of its own.
You can make mace out of any can? Canned yams?
?
Oops rewind please: I pray that Hashem’s Will is my will.
The way that I said it sounded backwards. Thanks!
Sunglasses for lockers
Lol! Awkward
My parents divorce was the best thing for me. The daily one-sided screaming and anger stalled. Finally quiet. Finally seeing my parent regain strength. My parents fought for me. I’m so blessed that the custody people heard me out and sided with the non-screaming parent. It was the first step in knowing that there was a way to a better place.
In part, because my parents stayed so long in that situation, that dynamic became normal looking to me. So with therapy, I have come to see similar patterns in friendships and relationships that aren’t healthy. I don’t want to be yelled at.
Besides the parents, children’s personalities are affected. They take on roles. Some become perfect and untouchable, seeking external validation. Others become like caretakers to the abused parent. Still others side with the abuser and blame the abused parent. This is real stuff. Look it up.
Google the affects of abuse on children. The roles that children play. Some take responsibility for the abuser, trying to make it their job to make things okay. I used to always apologize about my parent’s behavior. If something happens even now I find myself apologizing to strangers. That spills over in other places. I have to be mindful. Rewriting the past.
Better for children to see parents overcoming despite divorce than drowning in a hopeless marriage. With my parents there was no room for making it work. It didn’t work from the start and the love was based on conditonal expectations.
Surely my story isn’t unique
That example no. I said it to relate to this thread. I think he mentioned refuahs where there was really like no chance otherwise.
Oh oh oh!! And that if you’be had a lot of miracles it comes from your Olam Habah bank. So the more miracles here the less the cheshbon in Olam Habah.
When I heard that I realized that while I am soOoo lucky and blessed and have had so many miracles, I had no clue that I might be using up all my merits. It made me wonder how much I should ask for in this world. Maybe it’s better to scale back on my requests and prayers. Though I still pray for my will to be Hashem’s Will and for complete emuna.