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MA: I don’t think that there is one right way for everyone to live.

Are charedi vs modern distinctions also about fulfilling out obligations to each other and wanting everyone to be close to Hashem too?

Or maybe are they about how to best apply that in society?

*To observe halacha.

*To make a kiddush Hashem

*To prevent a chilly Hashem

*To survive in Olam Hazeh and/or

*To thrive in Olam Haba

Depends on the state or country where you live.

Laws change so best to be aware of current statutes

Hypothesis 1: In the US, we’re a minority. Plus we may be more and just grateful to be in Jewish company regardless of who what where.

For the most part, both Sepharadic and Ashkenazic Jewry passes as “Caucasian.” Why blow our cover with details of origin?

Furthermore, the US is broad. If one doesn’t enjoy going to shul with so-and-so, for whatever reason, then depending on the location one may be able to resolve conflicts by opting out, by exploring one’s options.

Said options include but are not limited to, finding another shul, davening at a different time, going anyway and avoiding unnecessary contact, and coping by strengthening relationships with others in the community.

In America, the world is an oyster.

In Israel, there is less geographic and interpersonal distance between Jews.

There is competition for resources in Israel.

In America, this Jewish business-person may have to compete with nonJews and whomever else. Even if it is a Jewish business catering to Jews, having competition may add a buffer to the business as there is enough of a demand for companies to coincide and perhaps support each other.

In Israel, someone who is Jewish can be working for a Jew, working with a Jew, feeling threatened by another more productive Jew, feeling insecure about the practices of another Jew in the workplace or shul or shoochnah.

In Israel there is a culture clash. Absorption adds competition. Or the fear of competition. Xenophobia even though we are all Jewish.

Researched:

In the mid twentieth-century, a wave of wealthy Kurdish Jews flooded the borders. Men who were outstanding businessmen suddenly were faced with the only viable options thanks to culture and language barriers, hard labor, construction. It was depressing for many prestigious men to take such a status hit. Ashkenazim and the earlier settlers looked at their fine cloths with ridicule. Their wives had an easier time assimilating.

Anyway… point is that resentment festered. Intergenerationally. This happens. Unfortunately.

When Israelis Moshe and Ovadia don’t get along with each other, then maybe their children feel the rift. It may only be implicit. They may only just prefer to hang out with Ashkenazim or Sepharadim accordingly, reinforced by limited positive exposure to the other.

Instead of having space to step back and get over or cope with differences, close proximity may escalate tensions.

In order to feel safe and secure, Ashkenazim and Sepharadim created mental barriers to confirm their group’s rightful belonging and affirm their group’s beliefs.

Also… both lived under oppression:

Ashkenazim most recently under prodominently Christian rulers and nobility.

Sepharadim (including Mizrachim, which are separate but often lumped into the Sepharadim group), lived under Islamic control and rulers.

They had to battle in unique ways to earn the privilege to live Jewishly.

Whether it was being close to the nobility like Court Jews, and relying on that political connection under Christian nobles, or by being invaluable merchants and confidents to Islamic rulers (so much so that even Muslims with pull looked the other way when seeing such a wealthy Jew riding a donkey), each group earned its place by working up in context with its culture.

Now comes Israel where being Jewish is no longer the most identifying factor. Maybe the OP is referring to the friction. Adaptations to the forces of nature. Human. And more than human at play. Tectonic plates.

I’ve heard parents say that being a mother or father is a thankless job.

However…

These same individuals wouldn’t trade it for any other job in the world.

Thankless jobs can be Pleasurable Wonderful and Meaningful.

Thankless jobs can be jobs that one would never trade for the most thankfilled job, such as a global good-news-delivery-person with fantastic comprehensive lifetime benefits.

And imho, infinite thanks and gestures of gratitude still cannot compare to the thanks that they are due in this world.

It sounds like the OP is referring to people in thankless jobs behind the scenes that as a community we all benefit from yet IRL may not realize how much they do for us personally.

Also, these jobs don’t come with the compensation of status or power.

Candles candles candles nes gadol haha poh! (Guess where I am now?)

🙂

Working off a need. Less opportunity to shop around. Short time window to purchase. Pressure to buy. Emotional customers. Business

Dave & Busters is like Chuck E Cheese for adults.

From what I remember from a one-time decade ago, you can play games and video games, collect tickets to exchange for prizes.

Imho, it was loud, distracting, and triangulated any attempt at personal conversation.

On the flipside, maybe because it is more casual, requires movement and limited bursts of attention, maybe it helps time pass quicker compared to a date that may be awkward and long if there was no chemistry. It at least makes for a good excuse to go to such a venue.

I have never been a yeshiva bochur who was faced with going on a series of dates. Maybe they take the dates that they still like after D&B someplace where they can get to know each other better.

Also… maybe the bochurim want to see the girl in action. See how they work together to pick an activity, respond to rejection if they lose, etc things that may occur organically in such a setting.

What is a bishow, please?

Chulent was a way that Jews set themselves apart from the Karaites. The Karaites, not ascribing to oral halacha, said that no food can be cooked evenly partially on Shabbat.

On the other hand, the lineage following the rabbis that now makes up today’s Jewish people, affirmed that indeed if the food was cooked by a certain measure before Shabbat, the rest can cook on the fire/heat source for the Sabbath.

This is an emergency.

“…wouldn’t the roshei yeshiva and rabbonim, who I am sure know what goes on and are involved in their talmidim’s and children’s dating, say something and put a stop to it? If they haven’t, then maybe they feel it is necessary?”

Maybe they have an idea but look the other way because they have bigger battles and it’s better to tolerate it than risk pushing people away from Yiddishkeit.

They may be in a tough predicament. If they prevent young people, hormones and all, from dating as they currently do, then their talmidim may grow resentful.

And/or, imposing rules on bochurim may also close the channel of communication between them and the talmidim, which may also be detrimental for them in the long run.

Maybe that’s also why teaching women tznius is so critical. More so than ever, they may have to be the direct voice of opposition.

Though surely I cannot generalize about rosh yeshivot and rabbonim.

I wonder if it’s like how people go to doctor’s today when they’re sick and the doctor prescribes antibiotics out of pressure. If he/she doesn’t prescribe then maybe the patient may be unsatisfied and find another doctor who complies.

So much for putting it in neutral

But the real reason why it’s wrong depends on the driver.

Parking in midair is only permissible for adults between ages 19 and 116, with no experience using butter knives for peanut butter, and who eat with their left hands.

People often derive happiness from living a meaningful life

What if less divorces = marriage for a cause = contentment in the struggle

Bump: Started 5yr ago

What is an example of being “stuck”?

The story is that after his first Bar Mitzvah he realized that the only time he feels comfortable sitting in a chair is when three other guys are holding it up.

So even when he’s on the CR he’s standing up.

In five years he’ll have his second Bar Mitzvah where he’ll sit down again for five minutes