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Perfect she’s in shape. Plays basketball and very fit.
So we’ll let her know that he’s a little more Ish than Chassid.
And braids are an easy fix. The sooner they’re in the chuppah the sooner we’ll get out of his hair.
Are you sure the label says Greek Yogurt?
Perhaps you mistakenly purchased Reek Yogurt?
Smart. Thank you
The love after marriage part I think comes when people go through hardships together and overcome struggles and still love, care for, and respect each other.
The commonalities from the start are good and can be enough for an initial emotional connection but the couple is really tested after marriage. Maybe that is when things get deeper. And deepest.
Some mitzvot or work only you can do. Someone else could have done it but it may have meant more to him and the Bar Mitzvah to have it come from you.
Imho it is still a chesed.
You helped a friend.
If someone can afford to buy food at a restaurant and rent a hotel room for the weekend, is it still a chesed to host that person for Shabbos for free?
If someone at shul gets a flat tire during a weekday maariv and you offer to change the tire (and do so) even though the person has AAA, to me that’s still a chesed.
Maybe we should join him or her laying down?
Like when you walk by someone looking up to the sky and instinctively also look up?
LU +10
LU: You are right. I did mean Chillul Hashem. Autocorrect changed it. I only noticed after it was already too late to Edit.
I thought maybe dafka there was still some truth in autocorrect’s assumption.
Mod-42 said:
“Ok, I’ll start. I’m a gorgeous, rich, 21 year old sfardi girl, 7 foot 3 inches, 482 lbs with a mustache and beard. I graduated high school at age 13 then went to BJJ for 2 years then got my PhD in Physics from MIT. I’m looking for a 42 year old chasidish guy with braids.” (Pg1)
This was 5 yrs ago. By now Mod-42 may be Mod-47 and/or looking for a 47 yr old chasidish guy with braids.
Yes on the CR. Maybe Health(!)?
I meant cv”s someone lives in place where it is acceptable to kill a child who is about to hurt someone.
—Ummm maybe I need more sleep because I don’t see what I missed here.
CTLAWYER now your reply…
“It is not acceptable to restrain a child who is about to kill someone.”
…Sounds like it is unacceptable to get in the way of a child about to kill someone.
RY23: That rule only applies to board games
Are you not allowed to take time to respond?
Do shadchanim tell you that you must reply within x hours if you want to meet this guy?
Aww LU! ? You are awesome. Hope you always feel confident about posting. I love your posts.
In your response to HM613, I can see how doing whatever it takes to find one’s soulmate has limits according to Torah.
Breaking into someone else’s house to search for lost keys is not exactly what the Rebbe meant when he encouraged people to search tirelessly for their besherts.
Haha!!! Thanks RebYidd23 +1
CRL +1
Maybe people should switch to coffee ice cream.
Cold coffee made it easier to drink faster. Iced coffee causes brain freezes and can also be consumed rapidly.
Coffee by spoon would slow down the process.
Coffee stains teeth. The CR doesn’t stain teeth.
LU +1 on explaining how people may be talking about the same thing but defining it differently. Someone else’s non-connection could could be considered another’s connection.
LU: You must know a few single guys here just waiting to be redt Mod-42
The Chabad Rebbe of blessed memory said that a person needs to look for one’second beshert like looking for a lost object.
Sometimes for me that means turning things around and scattering what was once organized around the room. It could mean calling people to ask if they saw it. Describing it to people. Taking time from other matters just to keep looking. Asking others to help search.
All of which blur the boundaries of what was otherwise orderly and normal.
The question is whether or not this is mutter and tznius. Maybe it is similar to asking if it’s okay to throw stuff around the room and make a mess. Normally no. It’s disrespectful and a waste of time. Perhaps here HM613’s point is valid.
Meanwhile it is important to note that there is no perfect woman or man. Maybe someone who is perfectly imperfect for someone else and vice versa.
Just to clarify that I am understanding correctly: You want the shadchan to ask you if you would be interested before asking the guy?
Because if yes, then they can go and show your pic to the guy and ask if he wants.
Otherwise when it is the other way around, you feel pressure to reply because he already said yes and you know that even taking time to think about it means that he is potentially waiting around for your response.
Maybe also: You (and other women) are under more pressure to say yes to a guy who would otherwise be a no if you could anonymously have the first say.
Joseph: In that case giving up kitniyos during Pesach would be an honor.
Cv”s anyone comes from a place where it’s acceptable to kill a child.
Do month-to-month leases in Lakewood require a first and last month’s deposit?
What about renting a basement apt for a month?
Distance between us and Hashem makes us feel chilly. Less warmth. It is backwards. You’re right that it does not make literal sense. It’s an abstraction.
Or wear them on Yom Kippur
HASHKAFAHMASTER613 said: “There are more important qualities in women.”
HASHKAFAHMASTER613 +1
I think the OP wants us to say to talk to the person. Otherwise maybe we don’t know.
I believe you LU. Maybe other posters didn’t say that because it’s obvious and doesn’t need to be said.
But the whole group mentality in psychology and sociology finds that when one person walks by then others think it’s okay. They feel less personally responsible to do something when others are around.
When I drive by or see something, like an accident on the highway without any responders on the scene or sirens in view or hearing distance, I call 911 even when there are other cars driving by.
The other examples are when I heard what sounded like a child in the other neighborhood screaming his lungs out (Turned out to be mating raccoons! Didn’t sound the same as a cat fight.), what looked like a barn on fire in a rural area (dunno what happened), a car accident with a solo passenger, and that’s what I remember off the top of my head.
Btw. I recently learned that you can call 211 to get help for someone who is homeless. Ask them to refer you to a homeless outreach program/shelter in the same county as the person. Even when someone has a sign looking for money, he or she may eventually respond to help if approached by peer professionals.
This is a super chessed imho
Why not let mazal77 do right by this mitzvah?
It’s a personal thing and may be what mazal77 needs to do to grow in Yiddishkeit.
Plus Ugg boots are a big investment. If mazal77 is thinking about purchasing a pair, which will keep her/his feet warm and protected, then I can see how it would be essential to know that she/he is walking in line with Hashem’s Will from the very first step outside.
Sorry if I am taking things personally. When I went vegan I got rid of all my leather shoes and belts. It was such a big deal to make sure that I wasn’t walking around with something that was so against my morals at the time. That was my version.
And this is Torah.
How much more important is this?
Yes understandable to invest in the big picture. Yet sometimes smaller practical details help form the borders with smaller manageable steps (like when you make the borders of a puzzle using edge pieces).
CTLAWYER +1
I Googled it and you aren’t alone. It is esp unique in smell when it’s goat’s milk.
Is there goat’s milk Cholov Yisroel?
It could be spoiled. Yet you said it tasted good.
Maybe you will grow accustomed to the smell. So much so that it becomes pleasureable.
Like how I now find the sulfuric smell of lit matches sweet. Probably because it reminds me of Shabbat candles and family.
Maybe eat more on Shabbat in good company. Perhaps you’ll associate the odor with happiness 🙂
Worth a try… there are options on the contact page.
Maybe someone at The Yeshiva World can direct chessedatwork further?
On The Yeshiva World Home page, click on Contact. You can send them a message and explain the content.
B’Hatzlacha
Sidewalks are still important too. Hopefully they have them.
Dunno about in Lakewood, but where I lived, law required us to shovel the sidewalk in front of our residence.
For homeowners, it helped to keep the house occupied, at least in the winter.
Renters were responsible for keeping the sidewalks clear.
Any fines theoretically in the lease could be deferred to them.*
*Unless of course CTLAWYER has evidence that proves otherwis e in all 50 states. If so we shall defer to him, aka CRL.
2 yr old thread
Stale bread
Pita chips
Water pitcher
Rain
Beads
Hair
Hat
Tomorrow
Today
7yr thread
Who didn’t give their son an upsherin?
Is there pressure from nursery schools, daycares, and/or play date parents to do or not do an upsherin?
Just to be sure… all sources and sages agree that circumcision is a must?
And circumcision at 8 days, unless the baby is sick and a rav tells the family to wait, and/or exceptional circumstances apply?
I thought Jimmy cracked corn
yehudayona: Do you smell differently after you eat cumin?
A rebbetzin taught me the secret to her hummus: a punch of cumin. So good.
I stopped eating cumin when I realized that it seeped out of my pores during perspiration.
Bump 5yr thread
We can thank the printing press for dividing us up by Ashkenazi and Sephardi.
Before that there was great variation in siddurim and prayers. In fact, each shul often had common prayers painted directly on the walls for men and women to read from their sections.
Pages of prayers and siddurim otherwise had to be handwritten copies that only the most wealthy could afford.
When Jews started using the printing press, lyrics and styles were consolidated with a generalized order and format. Consequently, community nuances were lost.
A paradigm shift…
Jewish liturgy and ritual practice shifted towards standardization.
In theory yes.
However we went to the shul where my parents felt most comfortable and accepted.
That’s also assuming that there was an available shul in the vicinity that followed in my father’s lineage.
When it comes to shidduchim, I hope whoever he is is okay with me keeping my kitniyot.
The title asks about an emotional connection.
This thread asks about a deep emotional connection.
It is hard to imagine wanting to marry someone without a positive emotional connection.
How would an emotional connection not grow deeper between two people who are willingly, thoughtfully, considerately, gratefully, and lovingly bonded through marriage and more?
What else is there other than an emotional connection?
Perhaps having shared values, a common goal, and families that get along well could more than suffice for a marriage foundation.
If someone insists on the connection, it could be a valid demand. People change so maybe having that strong connection, commitment, and communication from before marriage may help get through obstacles.
Technically the physical connection is meant to come after marriage, and the emotional connection is often a vital component for an intimate physical connection.
For me, having a deep emotional connection to someone prior to marriage is vital. Though I am not married yet so I lack the personal experience to remark on the differencesame before and after marriage.
I think that there are at least two people who happily managed without an emotional connection from the start and approached their marriage with the faith that the deep emotional connector would come later.