Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
If you’re really standing before the King wouldn’t you bring Him snacks or a gift? Maybe flowers?
5yo thread
Bump 🙂
Sometimes stores have makeup samples. You can ask the makeup counter maybe they have a little sample that you can use for Purim.
If you’re honest about why, then I think it would be permitted halachically (though maybe ask your LOR).
Why not buy inexpensive 99-cent makeup.
Edit***
***You can ask the person working at the makeup counter if maybe they have a sample that you can have to use for Purim.
(Thank you)
This is a case where more points means less fun
Assurnet: Oops yes you made that very clear and I misread that.
Would you still consider doing a GoFundMe and/or TheChesedFund?
Your family is still valuable and has a cause. Thing is it would have to be something that your wife and you need to feel comfortable doing.
Backtrack: If you want something like a fundraising page, then you have enough for that. What you explained says it all.
How would this money help you and your children? What kind of stability could a home offer them and your wife?
—You already mentioned some of this.
Why can you not afford it? What do you do for work? There must be merit and goodness that you give back to the world that give your days unique merit.
Those are all details that can go into a crowdsourcing website. If you want.
Mud
Pie
Cherries
Freezer
Ice cubes
Glass
Lightbulb
Sorry I meant that his silence on antisemitism when given the chance to condemn it “in general” fosters an environment where it’s easier for people to think that it’s okay and they can get away with hate crimes (such as swastika graffitti and beating up minorities). We saw that with violence at his rallies too.
People aren’t getting the message that something is wrong or criminal. Imho it’s more like they feel they have the right to defend their country by acting this way. Trump is a good role model.
Words and behavior. Or words vs behavior.
But he says America first. People hear that and associate “White people” first.
Jews today are white until White is a thing in itself.
There were swastikas all over NY subways recently. I don’t know how frequent this is but the president’s silence in antisemitism is taken as support.
He had a chance to say something against it and instead spoke against Jews.
It’s not like his words and behavior have no affect on the states and their success at mitigating the threats.
If the big guy in office says that it’s okay then that may override local govt efforts.
Thechesedfund is a Jewish fundraising crowdsourcing site too
Ask your wife about it. You can always delete the page if it doesn’t work for you. Or leave it up while you do something else. Who knows who may stumble upon it and wish to donate.
Health did you see the bruised leg thread please?
How can a leg still be blue after four months?
It’s still tender feeling when I poke it (and the other leg is okay) but not painful when I walk.
Can you do a GoFundMe page and share it with your friends and their friends?
Or instead of writing here you can make a blog and have a link for PayPal donations.
Once a week update the blog about your life or what you learned in kollel so people feel invested in you and are pulled to support you and your family.
You can do all that from home or where ever you have access to internet. Also you wouldn’t be begging. It may feel more dignifying personally.
GoFundMe… Easy and Brief and Share Share Share:
I did a GoFundMe once when I wanted to attend a conference over seas. I got a few small donations and one big one that allowed me to go. Yay Baruch Hashem!
It felt way better to do that instead of begging. At the time it wasn’t something that I could afford without the donors’ help.
On the GoFundMe page, I posted a brief video of me explaining why it was important and how it would help me fulfill my passion (which was a good cause).
Using this site and other fund or crowdraising sites, I have friends who’ve raised a lot of money (thousands) for various medical treatments and probably other things that I cannot remember now.
I also have friends who own non-profits and online donations make a huge difference.
Maybe your friends in the US would love to personally support you and your family in this next step B”H. Every dollar makes a difference.
One thing is that you prob need to claim it as income but maybe it’s like that for the schnoring thing too.
OR you can also make two fundraising sites. Or give people options on how to help.
-Consider asking someone if he/she will help you make a down payment on your apartment in Israel. Though that is a big deal and the first option gives you more control.
-Maybe someone wants to help by donating food, diapers or children’s stuff, &/or clothes
-Maybe someone wants to sponsor your family every month for $50
Think about different ways to crowdsource.
If you’re wiling to be open and share your story then you’ll be making a bigger kli for parnassa b’esrat Hashem.
2yo thread
The frightening thing is that he already handled dealing with terrorism by saying that if anything happens chas v’shalom then it will be the judges faults.
Seriously he set himself up for not taking any credit if something happens and surely he will find a way to shrug off responsibility even if the source of terror isn’t someone from the outside.
You’re giving him a lot of credit Health.
Also the point is that he is not doing anything to help stop the rise in antisemitism. Is he?
One thing. It was about my career but it might be helpful here.
I wanted to do a certain job and live in a very expensive place. I had my heart set on it. Spent years in school. One parent was extremely against it. Said that it would be the biggest mistake of my life.
So frustrating. What does this parent know about me? Seriously it was negative and I had to listen to my heart for direction.
Finally after graduating my parent helped me buy a ticket to this expensive place so I could visit the further schools and look at housing. I saw it. I felt it. I investigating. Researched. Enjoyed being there.
And I came home and thought about it. What it meant to live there. What my days would be like. How that would impact the rest of my life. Would I even have time for marriage? To exercise? To have a life outside of work? Who would I be working with? Plus the stress.
And I / decided not to pursue it anymore.
I decided that I wanted to pursue another way of life. A life that would allow me to have balance and healthy priorities.
That changed everything. It was my choice. I changed my mind because I changed. It wasn’t my parent’s decision. It was my own. It was right for me to see for myself.
I think that here you need to see for yourself. If it’s good for you then it’s good for you. If not then you can adapt. I think here it’s important to make sure that you won’t have regrets.
What’s the point of listening to them and them wondering in the back of your mind, what if?
They want what’s best for you. That’s why they want you to wait. You need to find what’s best for you too.
And you will find that B”H.
My parents are secular and would freak out if I said that I wanted to marry a learning boy and be the family’s breadwinner.
I had a hard time talking to my parents growing up. They would literally find ways to cancel or block my plans. It got extreme and even my aunts and older cousins told them to back off. wasn’t doing anything wrong and it was frustrating because I was treated like a prisoner. I wasn’t allowed to do many things because I was a “girl.” Truly that was the answer most of the time.
I ended up having to be sneaky about it. I hated it. Once I had everything planned to do something major and finally told one of my parents. That parent helped me and kept it a secret from the other. After it happened and everything worked out then I told the other parent and things were okay. Sorry this is very vague.
I don’t know if this is horrible advice but maybe you can talk to and confide in one parent who may be more sympathetic. Explain yourself and maybe that parent will soften up and may eventually help you and talk to your other parent.
But if they are a wall then it’s best to focus on your goal right now and work with the shadchan and your LOR. When things are more solid, you will also be more solid in what you want to do. That confidence and support from your LOR and other adults will help you tame the waters at home B”H
I’m older now (past 20’s) and yes my parents wanted me to finish college and get a career first.
Marriage comes later. Very American compared to at least the frum world. Though I learned that in Israel, it’s like that now, with people getting married and having children in late 20’s or at 30, for secular Israelis too.
So now after being raised that way I see the other perspective, where people get married younger and grow together.
Some couples don’t have jobs before marriage but they figure it out along the way.
You need one in Lakewood?
Getting a rav and/or rebbetzin to help is good. You’ll have an adult and authority in your corner.
I don’t know but there must be a shadchan or shadchanit who has handled this type of situation before and can help you assert yourself in the process.
Maybe you can be honest with her. Tell her what you want. Ultimately it’s your decision and your life.
Many parents want something different for their children. Another person’s parents might want them to marry now and not wait and hopefully that person is telling the shadchan how he/she really feels.
Some parents want a learning boy for their daughter and their daughter doesn’t want that.
You’re not the first or only girl in this situation where your parents want something else for you.
Remember that… The shadchan or shadchanit works for you. Imho you want someone who you can be honest and open with, and someone that you trust to help you navigate this.
I’m totally inexperienced when it comes to shadchanim though. And this is me telling you my perspective based on life and having someone help you find your beshert.
Thank you!
When you daven Maariv, is it already considered the next day?
Wouldn’t that be a better time to face the King in a jacket? It’s the start of the new day.
Thanks LU. That means a lot.
Yay glad that it’s healing thank G-d 🙂
….I kind of don’t want to talk about it please. I’m kind of embarrassed because I intentionally avoided at least one important-looking person that I really wanted to introduce myself to at the event. Instead I think I lingered awkwardly without engaging in the conversation so I wouldn’t have to deal with the handshake thingy.
Thankfully after the event was over and people were mingling, my hands were busy cleaning and packing up the stuff.
-That said. It’s a start. And b’esrat Hashem I will feel more assertive and confident in this respect.
Thank you btw! Talking about it helped me get it out. And… I’m really really glad that I talked to my manager about it because it turned out that it’s totally okay and we’ll practice how to go about it when we have time so I am better prepared.
I guess the good thing here is that I survived and went, and I opened a dialogue to learn how to better handle the situation so I can actually talk to clients instead of avoiding them.
Also… all this talk about asking a sheilah made me realize that this is something that I want to ask my LOR, and hopefully also LORebbetzin too 🙂