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Did your pen leak through your purse? Throw that purse in the bonfire. In just a couple of minutes, no one will even notice.!
Ran out of clean socks? Just turn yesterday’s dirty socks inside out so you can wear them again today!
Sick of wrapping your sushi in nori? Just wrap your sushi rolls in cellophane and bite in!
Can’t find your favorite pillowcase? Just cover your pillow with your favorite mustard.
Can’t afford to buy your kallah a fancy ring? No ring gemach in site? No worries! Buy a candy ring and then hop on over to Yuli’s Bakery. Your kallah will have an easier time adjusting to her heartbreak over a plate of German chocolate cake a la mode. Problem solved!
Mosquitos in your house?
Why pester yourself with a fly swatter, bug zapper, mosquito net, topical bug repellent, citronella (though I think that most citronella candles are for outdoor use only, and/or whatever else they’re selling today?!
Do yourself a favor and just get yourself a gross of spiders for the weekend while you spend Shabbos in your local Super 13 motel. By the time you return, those pesky blood suckers will be gone. When you return to your home, just sweep up your full-bellied spiders and toss them into your backyard.
rs!Don’t have health insurance, but need a doctor? Write your medical needs with a Sharpie on your white shirt. Then run head first into a lightpole so the ambulance can pick you up while you’re unconscious. Just create a GoFundMe when you get the bill. Even if the hospital doesn’t take care of all of your medical needs, your inflated fundraising goal will cover your impending medical expenses.
Did your key snap and get stuck in your ignition? Now it the time to make use of your alternative life skills. Just walk over to your neighbor’s car, hot wire it, and speed away!
Forgot where you put your glasses yet again, and always snacking? Just glue your glasses to a fork. That way you’ll always have them on hand!
Don’t have time to wash your car before work? Make the most of hurricane season by securing a colander to the roof of your car, filling it with car wash detergent, and driving around your city in the pouring rain. Make sure you get in an even amount of left and right turns, interchangeably. Don’t forget to stop abruptly three times to get a good front hood lather and rinse!
Yellow flags are a real thing when it comes to dating advice.
Though, in this case, when dating “the one,” green flags are likely to appear.
Are you having trouble getting over some sad news? Ruin your neighbor’s brand new pool with an alligator experiencing the stomach flu so that you’re not the only one crying!
Stuck in bumper to bumper traffic? Get a monster truck and plow right on through!***
***But make sure that every driver and passenger has exited each car beforehand, so as to avoid casualties
Gadolhadorah: If you are indeed trying to pass Mar-a-Largo lemons as Deluxe Mahadrim Esrogim from Umbria (for non-Sukkot purpose), will you accept the proper number of American dollars as a legitimate payment?
Nebuch: I can only answer for myself here.
Stones aside, has anyone here made a parev cholent with canned tuna? Tuna with beans actually sounds good.
Excuse me lowerourtuition11210, who are you to judge the worth of some posts?
Torah talk finds itself in interesting places.
Is anyone else waiting for Little Froggie to hop in here and talk about jumping?
DovidBT: We must confirm with RebYidd23, but I think that a moose for a goose might be acceptable according to her highness.
Or Dr. Seuss for a moose
What kind of stone?
I don’t have a food-safe stone.
May I use a spoon, silicone straw, or banana instead?
I meant a “food-grade” stone
Or a Pineapple Dole for a Gadol
Or a heimish for an Amish
Yes, do tell!! Please.
True dat, RebYidd23! 🙂
Does this mean that you’re allowed to ride an escalator on Shabbos?
Just don’t try to pass off a mamma as a llama
RebYidd23: If you know that the coyote or jackal isn’t really a dog, then you have a problem because you fooled everyone except yourself.
You need to fool yourself first.
Or a frog as a dog
Just don’t try to pass off a sloth as a moth
Depends on who you’re trying to fool
Was this Holocaust book an anthology with multiple stories? Or was it a memoir from one male survivor?
So far, I listed books written by survivors.
What about an anthology, such as:
Hasidic Tales of the Holocaust
edited by Yaffa Eliach(From taking a glance at the Google eBooks Preview online, it looks like there are multiple survivor stories in this anthology book, with leanings toward Yiddishkeit and thanking HKBH for survival)
The Drowned And The Saved
By Primo LeviLevi had scarlett fever, so he didn’t go on the death march.
(This book is orange though, not blue)
If This Is a Man
By Primo Levi(Blue cover)
The Last Jew of Treblinka
By Chil RajchmanBoy 30529
By Felix WeinbergMan’s Search For Meaning
By Viktor E. FranklI’m not sure, but I will list some possibilities…
Outcry – Holocaust Memoirs
By Manny SteinbergA 0% unemployment rate doesn’t account for unemployed people not currently seeking employment. These unemployed people may have given up.
If you put the block of ice cream in a graham cracker pie crust, and then frosted it on top, would it be a pie, a cake, or something else?
Thinking out loud: Thank you thank you THANK YOU!! 🙂
Yay, wow, I had no clue.
Thank you for informing me of these Tisha B’Av video programs! 🙂
You can still eat fish.
Are you asking if it’s unmanly to parent your own children?
You know that you are a father, right?
Hello CR… What videos?
What am I missing here? Are they showing videos in schools or something? Are these videos playing on street corners? In shuls? How do other posters know about these videos?
Wondering please… thank you!