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Do you say thank you for helping with the free babysitting and other handouts she gives you ?!??!?!?! Look at the good things she does for you and think of how you talk to your kids as you might be doing the same too…telling them what to or not to do!
You are the boss so you call the shots. She can hold the phone but no calls for more than a minute unless it is an emergency.
flashcubes on slimline cameras
brown bags to bring home grocery/fruit
Mom cleaning the house with daughters helping without a kvetch
butcher packing meat/chicken in paper
koshering your chickens at home
discussing important topics with your parents(not friends)
carbon paper for copying notes for your friend who was absent
staying home for seminary and turning our great
yeshiva boys going to Eretz Yisroel to learn,with no cell phone nor credit card and not coming home for about 2 years with a call perhaps once a year
communal sukkas(made of old doors) in the shul yard and all men of all types eating together b’achdus
double reeled cassette players
super 8 movie camera
trolley cars on 39th street
Myrtle Avenue line
green city buses
train seats made of cane
when youngsters gave their seats for elderly(with a smile)
when kids who graduated and went to work knew what responsibility meant and were capable of being on their own without Papa’s handouts
When in town this week i still noticed too many drivers holding their cell phones and talking while driving. They were so engrossed in their conversation that they easily passed red lights. I will be meeting with community officials to see if we can start writing community tickets that will raise money for those in need of our community. It will be called KEHILLA TRAFFIC TICKETS and the money raised will go for parents whose children will be sitting home this September because they cannot afford tuition and don’t qualify because of being too honest.!
Yes, it does look nauseating and not tziusdik especially when they chew and talk. This is a “krenk” that is obvious in all types and one cannot finger modern looking only.
In B.Y.H.S. of old with teachers who were students of Sara Schneirer some made us put the gum on the bridge of our noses for a while, as punishment. Some commented too that we were obviously Jewish and kosher and did not have to chew our cud!!!
Personally, it’s one question on my shidduch questionairre, along with nail polish!!!!(if found that any of the above are on girls agendea, they are not for my son/grandson)
Contact local Chabad. They are known to be helpful in such situations.
Hatzlocha!
Unfortunately we have heard to often that suddenly this great girl/boy hooked up with the wrong friends overseas and then totally changed to a different person which is painful to parents.
In the big yeshivos such as Mir the boys are attached to a Rosh Chaburah who meets with the boys on a daily basis and serves as a mashpia with whom they can discuss any topic or thoughts they may have. Perhaps the seminaries too should offer this or if you have someone in Eretz Yisroel that would be able to check on your daughter and make sure she is where she is supposed to be. Calling on a cell is not the answer as the person could easily lie as to where they really are. Last year, there were a few girls from a well known seminary that were shipped home for reasons i will not write but chas v’shalom there should be a repeat. Remember, you are paying a lot for the seminary so let your daughter eat food that they serve.If it is not her taste, there is always bread and water. Don’t let her have credit card for use of her choice. As far as the cell phone. If you insist she has one, make sure there is a way you can get a record of all her calls and text or better don’t have text service as it is ossur in Eretz Yisroel or better get her a kosher phone.
Hatzlacha and lots of nachas!
….and if you are still so worried, keep her here. There are good seminaries here and the money you will save could go for at least one year of support if not more.
Losing my father 40+ years ago was a tragedy that i learned to live with and accept, then last year we lost a dear sister suddenly from an aneurysm and now i just came from being menachem avel a dear friend who lost 2 children in a matter of 2.5 years both who were in their twenties. One left 5 yesomim and the other 2 yesomos with the older barely 3 years old. And what about the tragedies of 3 weeks ago and last week !
On the same topic…here is a true story.
When my father Z”L was sick, my sister and myself went to see the Satmar Rav R’Yoel Z”L who was then staying in Belle Harbor.
Volunteering was a very choshive woman who came and helped the Rebbitzen A”H in the kitchen. She so looked up to the Rebbe(and who didn’t) that she had the carpets of the Rebbes home picked up and moved to her house so that she could walk on the floors the Rebbe Z”L did(of course she paid for the new flooring of the Rebbitzens choice). Then this lady decided that she wants to get divorced and remarried so that the Rebbe Z”L would be her mesader kedushin, to which the Rebbe Z”L replied “ver zugt az ehr veht dich tzuriknemen”, meaning who says that he(he husband) will want to remarry her.
If the Torah writes about it, then there is something to it.
We know of a couple who lived beautifully and then something happened to the wife and she wanted a divorce. Her husband did not contest and they did get divorced. The wife was not well and then B”H she improved and realized her mistake. They remarried, moved to a new environment, had more children and B”H are very happy.
The levaya of Reb Chaim Gross Z”L
Boruch Hashem that you only have such problems. Right now i am eating myself up as i just returned to the mountains and when read the news, noticed i missed a levaya which i could have attended….my friend buried her second daughter in 2.5 years. Both were young and left young children. So enjoy whatever you are eating and only eat food not yourself…ever!
In my opinion there are people who just are very unmotivated and stare out if boredom. When i feel someone staring at me i ask them if they need some help maybe.
About children being on their own in shul,yes,this must be addressed by each shul individually.
One can wear a short or 3/4 rekel(jacket) and be considered Chassidish. If you are not familiar of real Chassidic clothing for men take a tour of such as G&G or G&B clothing for men who are Chassidic in levush and behavior. Unfortunately there is a new group who consider themselves Chassidic but they are modern Chassidic and we will not get into that Ervev 9 days. Many women who consider themselves Chassidic are not examples to follow because they want to be trendy and dance on two weddings. These women do not look Chassidic nor Litvish but modern who follow the styles dictated by the lowest of Paris. Unfortunately, some so called frum companies adapt to the styles but in my opinion it is as the store that was selling pig meat with a hechsher!! For a woman Tznius is most important as learning Torah for a man.
We grew up in a real Chassidic home with our father Z”L who wore a rekel and hat even around the house. Anyway, one of us married a real Litvish boy and he is ehrlich, frum and the family Rav. My sister follows all his minhagim and it was never an issue. When someone once commented to her that she can wear so and so because she is Litvish she answered that’s modern!
Yes, in the beginning it was hard but B”H she adjusted and even davens Ashkenaz. When someone commented that all sons in law were different, she commented “one takes The Bochur not a Bochur”.
Being observant has nothing to do with a Chassidic sect. It means one follows the Torah K’halacha and that which our Gedolim ask of us, whether one is Litvish, modern, Chassidic…the bottom line is orthodox Jew.
Many of these teens working in camps are getting money from Youth Corp. In general, even when such as myself worked in a camp as a guest waitress, the assumption was that one would get tips which the camp considers pay. If i remember correctly it was about $400 that i came home with at the end of the summer. Because the supply exceeds the demand this is the way camps run and yes they tell you that your room and board is on the house! So go figure and you will see that it is not as bad as presented.
The Rambam speaks about yishuv Eretz Yisroel not Israel, as a state!
Ask your Rav. In our days it was no swimming, bathing , shopping, handwork as knitting or tapestry, no music…in short aveilus. Today, with the doros getting weaker, many people ignore and do what they feel. Take out the kitzur shulchan orech and read what it says!
Wasn’t there takanos to eliminate the VORTS which really is a Chassidishe minhag?
In my opinion it should be about $2,500 per side. That’s what my mother, an almanah paid for the last shidduch and that was 31 years ago! We paid various amounts as each shadchan had a different price but if i remember correctly the least was $3,000 and the shadchan was appalled. He said he asks that amount because people bargain, my husband answered a shidduch is not a bargain and paid him in full. No we had average weddings with one man bands, no shmorg, no vienese tables. We did what the other side felt comfortable with and were fine with it. B”H the children are still able to learn without headaches! So don’t look to cut corners on the shadchan fee.
It is my opinion that the nurse is perhaps looking for a heter.
Yes, i agree one should ask their own Rav whom they ask sheilos of.
We have to remember that some women who may be showing some hair or maybe wearing a fall are new to being frum and so they have a heter to take upon things step by step. Therefore, what’s accepted and permitted for one may be ossur for another.
There is a gemara of a woman who had very pious children and when asked why she merited to such, it is written that even the walls in her home never saw a hair.
Some of us may want to look cool when we are young and later realize the mistake and cover more of our hair.
A family member of mine, in her later years asked that all her hair be cut as she heard that when one in niftar a malach, angel comes and pulls out each hair one by one.
Rav Shalom Shechter’s yeshiva in Bayit Vgan is very close knit and surpervised. The boys strictly learn and grow into a parents nachas. Boys that are there almost two years have maybe been to kosel but did not yet venture out of Yerushalayim. On a recent trip when Rosh Yeshiva was on flight with the boys it was a nachas to watch these boys. They are example of the Real Thing!
People can accuse you of descriminating. Any frum garb can be purchased in our community and you never may know the truth till after they move in when you will realize what you got yourself into.
List with a broker and be specific of what you are looking for as tenants.
Yes, i too agree with YW Moderator-72 about this being Lashon Horah.
Women do deal with hormonal issues at which time they sometimes lose control, unintentionally. Try to think of a way to perhaps make her life easier when these outbursts happen. Such as taking her out and telling her you get worried when she behaves as such and suggest going for some help to make life easier.
As you wrote you have friends who complain of the same, tell the to listen to their wives and do something about it.
The grass is not greener on the other side!
Tell the landlord nicely that what he/she is doing is both against the Torah and Halacha and ask him/her where they would feel settling this matter.
Our friends recently fixed over their basement as a rental, their neighbors who are big Rebbes build a fence to block the entrance so that the tenants cannot bring in furniture. His calls are not being returned.
As a suggestion, perhaps try calling 1 845 HALACHA where there are qualified dayanim from a top Beis Din on call day and night except for Shabbos and Yomim Tovim.
If you are really qualified, i would be interested in taking you at least twice a week….and continue recommending you to others.
Heimishe papers are purchased by others that are not Heimish too!
Interesting in reading your philosophy because i have a friend who shed her frumkeit because she wants to get married and no one is knocking her door down. On the outside she looks and behaves frum. Now, she needs surgery and no one is offering a helping hand. Perhaps you want to hold her hand and get to know each other. Maybe in communicating you both will realize that shedding frumkeit will not yield big jobs or other personal needs.
I can give you her email address if you let me know how to contact you. Remember you need Hashem more than He needs you!!
It is of benefit to all us Yidden to have dual citizenship. During WW11, many who had dual passports were able to escape from the inferno.
bpt, we are never past “the stage”. There is always room for improvement.
At a recent shiur, the lecturer who also included the importance of tznius mentioned that anyone davening but not dressed in accordance of proper tznius, those tefillos are not mekabel. The lecture was in Yiddish!
Asking previous landlord is not always going to give you the truth as the landlord will give excellent info just to rid himself/herself of a tenant giving problems,whatever it may be.
A good suggestion is to ask for two months security and have a second party sign the lease as well.
Today there a brokers who help people get apartments with the brokers fee being the tenants responsibility.
Good Luck!
Rabbi Yossi Mizrachi on Torah Anytime has a lecture on MODESTY which is good to listen to more than once. Tzinus should not be taken lightly and if you think the dress you are trying on is a question, don’t buy it!!
Women/girls are potur of mitzvos shehazeman grama, when time is of essence. Growing up in a Chassidishe home and from a very Hungarian background, my sisters and i still remember our mother, she should be well, coming into our rooms on days when there was no school and waking us up saying in Yiddish “look at the time, you are all sleeping and oiver on krias shema”. We did daven, but a shorter version, meaning after Birchas Hashachar we did Boruch sheamar, etc. As we grew older and going to Bais Yakov, davening became part of us. Understood, that mothers who are B”H raising large families sometimes only get to daven Birchas Hashachar and shema! Some girls tend to be lax when they leave school but after a while they pick up again. Try to look at the positive of what some of these girls currently not davening are doing…such as staying with sick patients in the hospital all night and coming home in the early morning and going to sleep while your were sleeping!!!
Thank you for your question ofcourse. I would like to know where one can listen to the shiur or perhaps download as we did with the others on the chailifeline.org site!?!!? This way we listen more than once!
Sorry about Middlepath and his/her story. What is important in this story is the Achdus, unity to which alot of credit must be give to Rav Eisenberger,who is a Rav par excellence. Sorry, but halvei all kehillos would have a Rav as him. Rav Eisenberger is available for his kehilla 24/7 and is involved in every aspect one can think of and not as in this tragedy. And this holy neshama that was so plucked away from us was also such a giving person. An aquaintance of mine lives in the same building. Her mother’s nurses commented that when they got to the building in the morning or evening, if Leiby Z”L was outside, he would run to open the door for them. One of these nurses was in tears and crying ,”oh no, it can’t be my little boy”. Let us do and think only good in his memory. FARGIN!
Absolutely non of our taxpayer money to go for even a minute to keep this monster alive.
$500 a season sounds like child labor!
In Pirkei Avos it says “shuv yom echad lifnei misascha”, one should do tshuva a day before he/she is niftar, which comes down to every day! Think of people you knew of stories of people who were healthy, vibrant and very much alive and Hashem took them from us without any warnings(as illness)!
i hope seedys,member is reading the post and changing the kapitlach he/she is taking as the ones he/she posted are taken
i see someone posted the same time as me so i will do
31-40(included)
26-35(included)
In a recent article about bottled water it was pointed out that
Evian(name of a popular bottled water) is the reverse of “naive”, which we are about alot going on around us, including water!
A friend of mine who use to “so call” sell bottled water was asked by his mother in law where the water came from, so he answered someone sits by the sink and fills bottle by bottle!
A name is what you make of it. Reb Kaplan(of Bais Yakov H.S.) A”H, whose first name was Vichna has many carrying her name proudly. What about Falla,Gala, Babchi,Trany are but a few names people give proudly and is very accepted. Don’t let a name stop you! Keep us posted!
In our last home our 14 button lock was still working after 25+years and B”H no problems. With all these comments, i think we should’ve removed it and put it up in our new apt. rather than the 5 button one.
I am wondering if this post is for real. To my understanding it is against halacha to speak at anytime during tefilla.
If one goes to shul to talk, where does he go to daven?
My mother, who B”H is of age was in shul sometimes before it opened. The mechitza was where the front rows was for the women and back for the men, where the shmusers were. My mother would always bang on the tables and say sh-sh. There was one man who especially was upset and said,”what does she want, she is almost smelling the grass”. Well my mother is B”H still with us here,but that man unfortunately has grandchildren carrying his name that were long bar mitzvahed.
To basket of radishes, you did what was right and continue doing so. Obviously that shul is not a real makom tefilla if you are not welcome there and take it as a blessing in disguise.
People talk and all of a sudden when a catastrophe hits they start banging their heads against the wall. We must speak to Hashem all the time and shul is a place meant for davening.
go to Julia’s Best Ever Chocolate Chip Cookies In a Jar
this recipe is easy to follow and a real hit…it’s dangerous as you can’t stop after just having one!
oomis i too remember such a fraud which a Polish houskeeper exposed as she was shopping on 18th Avenue on Shabbos, one of her lanzleit(from Poland) was wearing a yarmulka a asking for Tzedaka so she answered him, “you stupid, don’t you know it’s Shabbos today”! Or what about the woman who went around from door to door and the first thing she asked for water to make a Beracha. She ended up being not Jewish and was arrested on 47th street, Manhattan and deported to her country after stealing heavy thousands of dollars! So if i suspect someone i ask what shul they are affiliated with and that answers many doubts!
Rabbi Mizrachi tells of an Arab who faked as Jew for 20 years and people gave him money for the promises he made!
People in Williamsburg are very good when it comes to hosting whether for chesed or pay. It is an experience they will enjoy all around!
Are your parents aware of you being part of the CF?
Will your camp allow cellphones with access such as CF?
If you don’t mind me telling you, i think that you have too much free time on your hands and a little bored!
Sometimes it’s time to make/get new friends for our own benefit!
The once a week trickled down to going out occassionally for such as double birthdays, graduation, just to get the kids together. It does add up and is expensive, so i can see why KD in Boro Park closed and we sure miss them. Pehaps they can reopen in a smaller store and we would once again frequent or order at least once a week.
Howabout things/activity suggestions for Sundays for folks who don’t go to the country. Included can be suggestions at either no or little cost as money is a great factor for many staying home for the summer.
Included too should be activities for older singles who would love to be away with their own families and are still waiting for the right shidduch.
Chesed organizations looking for volunteers should also post their requests!