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When The Children’s Place in Lakewood has a sale, all the kids wear the same shirt the next day.
When Bes Din executed murderers back in the day (good times), they didn’t think about his poor wife and children at home. That was the responsibility of the murderer.
Whether or not Wendy is 100% guilty cannot be known by us for sure. What we can be sure of is that she made us all look bad.
I don’t recall R’ Shmuel Kamenetsky ever pleading guilty to a case in which he was innocent.
Funny how the guy selling his gehennom plagiarised my lyrics as his product description. I never intended to be the spokesman for atheists. I do not believe in atheism.
Toi – A female relative of mine had twin boys a number of years ago, and she named them Eli and Zevi. I asked her why, and she told me, “because they rhyme!” I guess women have a different understanding of what “rhyme” means.
By seeing where someone’s family is holding and then seeing where they themselves are holding, you can see which direction they’re headed in.
@nfgo3 As the mishna in Avos says (don’t remember the exact lashon) Im lamad’ta Torah harbeh al tachzik tova l’atzmecha ki lekach notzarta.
I’m going to echo what Utah said. I don’t think this is much of a rap. It’s a cute poem, maybe.
In terms of rhyming, here are some tips (I know you didn’t ask for them).
Don’t use the first word that pops into your head as a rhyme. When you rhyme way & day; son & one; weight & eight, etc. you take away from the one or two good rhymes you had (opinion, minyan).
As a general rule, most one-syllable rhymes should not be used.
There are two types of rhymes which get a lot of points with me. The first is cross-language rhymes. Being that as a Jewish rapper you have Engligh, Hebrew, Yiddish and Arammaic to work with, this shouldn’t be too hard.
The second is when a few short words come together to rhyme with one long word. You could also be a bit more imperfect when using this. A brilliant example of this is:
Snap back to reality / Oh there goes gravity / Oh, there goes Rabbit, he / choked. He’s so mad, but he / won’t give up that…
The rhymes there are reality (1), gravity (1), rabbit he (2), mad but he (3)
In the Jewish world, my opinion is that the greatest rhymers are R’ Shmuel Kunda a”h, and Lipa Schmeltzer (though only his Yiddish material).
From a purely politically correct standpoint, there are many mushy answers you could give. Any spin on what the people above me wrote would work.
In truth, though, you’ve asked a stumper. Why would a completely irreligious Jew be proud to be Jewish?
We say every night in Krias Shema Al Hamitah, “Ve’Atah Hashem magen ba’adi, kevodi u’merim roshi…” Hashem is my source of pride. That’s the source of Jewish pride.
Without God, what is a Jew?
That being said, an American takes pride in his/her country’s accomplishments. A black person will take pride in black people’s accomplishments.
So you could point out to this group in plain statistical terms the huge percentage of “accomplishments” which Jews have garnered. Think Hollywood, Nobel prize winners, leading medical researchers, and even the military power of the IDF.
Though this is not the true Jewish pride we as religious Jews strive for, it can definitely instill a feeling in them that God is clearly on our side.
So sorry about wearing that “I hate midgets” t-shirt last week, totes forgot about the no white after labor day rule, whoops
I believe it was the Ramchal who said that not wearing tzitzis is one of the worst things a person could do, precisely because it is not a chiyuv.
The mitzvah as we know it today is a fashion statement, declaring one’s pride to be a member of God’s army. Being ashamed of that is, in a way, being ashamed to be a Jew.
Imagine a soldier in the IDF telling his commander that although everyone else wears green, he wants to wear blue. It’s never happened.
This is kefirah, it’s like asking who is your favorite gadol.
No jokes, I saw a flyer from a well-known (tzedakah??) organization stating that with your donation of blah blah you can choose “a portrait of your favorite gadol”.
What if I think that one has a way cooler beard, but another one wears a really funky rabbi hat? Decisions, decisions…
After you stop cold turkey, stop thinking about it. The Rambam (Hilchos Teshuva Perek 2 Halacha 2) says that a part of teshuva is removing the aveirah from your mind.
The Kotzker used to say that mikreh laylah happens most often on Yom Kippur night, because that’s when people think about all their past sins in graphic detail, to “do teshuva”.
Shopping – Look up sketch comedy on wikipedia.
Hi aberz, maybe. I’m not thinking about parnassa yet; I’m just a bachur. I did get offers though. If I would do it eventually, it would be on the side.
@This name is already taken – Please restate your question in English.
@Shopping613 – Search YouTube for “Things Not To Say On A Shidduch Date”. It’s on the same channel as The Aveirah Song.
Thanks! Women tend to like that one over the aveirah and chumrah song. I haven’t actually ever been on a shidduch date yet, so it may have been a little inaccurate 🙂
You know what’s way better than an E-cigarette? A cigarette.
There’s nothing like a good cigarette … on a bad date.
You forgot the best children-al one:
But EVERYONE in my class has a…
(like one kid has it)
My username is BenMiller on both of those sites, if you were curious about what my level in Excel was.
@jewishfeminist02 Most of the great YouTube tutorials come from Bill Jelen, founder of Mr. Excel.
You can also check out the excelforum website, but the mods there are real jerks, and the traffic is significantly less than Mr. Excel, so they have a lot less content.
Let’s not forget that a scientific conclusion is still called a theory.
From personal experience, I can tell you this: The only way to learn Excel is to use it. Check out the Mr. Excel website too, for real-life problems and solutions. I went to a (work-mandated) Excel course once, and I learned nothing, but maybe that’s just me. Microsoft estimates that 90% of Excel users only use 10% of Excel’s potential. The main thing to know in Excel is that it can basically do anything.
I used to have a twitter. I had about 2,000 followers when I gave it up because I decided it was a waste of time. Now I’m here.
Just reading this now… The Mishna Berurah says (in at least two places) that one of the reasons you should not bring small children to shul is that they inevitably will not daven, and they’ll grow into adulthood with the mindset that shul is a place to play and talk.
“Halachically speaking, if you are in shul and don’t have tefillin for whatever reason, and no one is available to lend you a pair for whatever reason, it is mutar to use a pair that you find, provided you handle them gently and put them back exactly as you found them. This, for once, does not come from my husband– I just read it in an ArtScroll book about the halachos of traveling.”
This is a halacha in Shulchan Aruch, in Hilchos Tefillin. I’m glad it’s in the Artscroll book too.
The reason for this halacha is because we assume that a person would want a mitzvah to be performed with his belongings.
The Mishna Berurah points out that this does not apply, under any circumstances, to sefarim or siddurim, because there is a big chance that they will get damaged while being used. (Interestingly, he adds that sefarim are assur even for casual use, because we are choshesh that the person using them may get caught up in a sugya and use the sefer “heavily”, causing it to rip.)
Instead of changing the child to fit the system, why don’t we change the system to fit the child?
In S’dom, they used to put people into beds which were the wrong size, and either stretch or cut the person to fit. Let’s not be like S’dom.
What about kol hayotzei min hatamei tamei? This is the reason milk from a non-kosher animal is not kosher. Keep in mind, though, that this rule does not apply to honey, for example, because it is not considered a “yotzei”. This would not neccessarily mean that artificial burgers are fleishigs. Think milk.
The Aveirah Song.
For real though, A Yiddishe Mamme by Yossele Rosenblatt (how did he not make it on to this list yet?!)
I’m no posek, but… he classifies an Adam Beinuni as ????? ???? ?? ?????? ???? ??? so we could assume that a Rasha Gamur is someone who only does bad ma’asim. He also began by saying that the Mishna is talking about someone who is an unknown.
http://www.otzar.org/wotzar/book.aspx?149580
Click ????? ???? ????? ???? on the popup. It starts on pg. 8 and continues on to pg. 9.
No. See Rabbeinu Yona in Avos Perek 1 to “Vehevei dan es kol adam l’kaf zechus”.
Glad you all enjoyed!