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I second Mir Talmid! Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky is really awesome, too. Hes got about fifteen shiurim on TA.
People say that after stopping to listen to nonjewish music for a while, they feel a difference inside of themselves- like they’re more pure.
My opinion on the matter used to be that nonjewish music is awful and should be avoided at all costs, but lately I’ve pretty much only been listening to nonjewish music, and I don’t feel any further from Hashem as a result of it. I feel like as frum people, we are restricted in so many areas, and I’m not going to restrict myself unnecessarily in an area that is so hard for me. To do so would be to set myself up to be burnt out from frum life.
That being said, I am in the process of researching what makes some people think that nonjewish music is bad for the neshama.
I love your posts, oomis. It’s so easy to get caught up in theoretical fluff and forget that the world is nowhere near perfect, and we have to accept reality.
I just typed several paragraphs on my feelings on this topic and promptly deleted them, for fear of insulting someone. So I’ll leave my opinion out of this and suffice with these questions:
DY, Matan- if a shadchan would call you up and redt a person of a different race to your daughter/son, do you really think that you would not be… I can’t think of the right word. Not horrified, but something close to it?
If your son/daughter would come over to you one night and tell you that they’re about to get engaged to a person of a different race, would you happily give them your blessing?
Wait, am I understanding this correctly?
From what I understand, the people on this tread are saying that in a utopian society, women would be restricted to leaving the house once a month. That means that when Mashiach comes, that Halacha will be in place.
Ora, I’m so sorry you went through all that. Sending lots of love your way!
Yes, it is the best medicine. But along with it, one must do the proper hishtadlus. You can consult your LOR as to what adequate hishtadlus is.
Denigrating doctors and medicines doesn’t feel like the right thing to do. Hashem created all of the medicines out there, and they are all so magnificent and amazing.
So yes, you are right that we need to remember to daven to Hashem for refuos, but to write off the magnificence of the medical field as “100% false” is most definitely the wrong perspective.
I’ve never heard of anyone saying that! I’m in a regular Bais Yaakov somewhere in the Tri state area, and there are probably more girls not going to camp than are going. Tens of girls are working at day camps, and some are even making their own. Girls go to camp if their friends are going- it says nothing about their social IQ.
This topic has been dissected so many times, it’s really not normal. But I do see the motivation behind discussing it yet again- this is a topic that gets people very passionate either for the Internet or against it.
I think that the Internet, like every other object in the world, can be used for both good and bad, but it is more powerful than most other objects. It’s like a gun- a gun could be used to shoot an innocent victim, or it can be used to shoot a rasha like Hitler, yemach shemo. It’s not intrinsically good or bad- just more powerful either way than most other things.
Where a gun can physically kill a person, the Internet can destroy a neshama. I think that the just like there are steps one has to take to get a gun (background checks and such things), there are things a person must do before getting on the Internet (getting an accountability program.)
FFBB,
Wait, what? I really hope you’re trolling. You’re losing hope because 3 girls your age are engaged? Sweetie, if you’re not kidding, then you REALLY need to change some things about yourself.
Oomis,
Wow, that stuff about your father is really powerful, even 6 years after it was posted. Thank you for sharing!
One word:
Hormones.
Great post, TLIK.
It’s sad more than scary.
Agreed.
Hmm…
I think “trying” would work.
Welcome, SA! So great to have you on board. 🙂
Yekke,
You’re right. My last post was an emotional outburst with almost no logical component to it. It’s just hard to remain impartial because i know someone that was a victim of abuse, and I see how it affects her daily life, several years later.
The cr was blessed with the presence of an amazing man, several years ago. His username was MiddlePath, and his father was a convicted molestor. When the news of his father’s crimes broke, his life turned a hundred shades darker. Everything was affected- his friendships, his happiness, his self esteem- everything just fell apart.
So there is room for compassion on both sides- the children of the molestor, and the abused victim.
I would not go so far as to have compassion for the actual abuser. My personal belief is that once you reach a certain age, you need to take charge of your life. If this man saw from his thoughts and actions that he was a potential abuser, he should have gone for help that very moment. Therapy, meds- whatever it takes. There is no room for mollycoddling in an area as serious as this.
In almost all other areas, I would advocate compassion and empathy. But when it comes to abuse, there is too much at stake.
WIAN,
My thoughts exactly.
Anyone that witnessed the agony that victims of abuse go through for the rest of their lives would not even dream of letting the abuser go free.
True, Hashem will most definitely punish the abuser- He’s even begun already, it seems, in this case.
That doesn’t take away from the fact that the victim would gain immeasurable relief, knowing that the abuser is experiencing the consequences that they so deserve, having destroyed the victim’s life.
Please dont have rachmanus on the abuser…. Hashem yerachem, please don’t make that sick mistake.
Oh come on! You guys, seriously?! Your poor kids finally get a week off to spend with their families and this is your reaction?
Gross. Fix your priorities, please.
I’m really conflicted regarding this issue.
As Rabbi Wallerstein says, we don’t want to put kids in a situation where all they have to do is rebel and they’ll get a trip to Israel (all expenses paid), a new suit, and lots of warm and loving attention from adults that otherwise wouldn’t know they exist.
You know, I think he’s right about this. I speak as an atypical Bais Yaakov student- I’ve made some bad decisions in life, and therefore have relationships with amazing mentor type people. I see the jealousy on my good BY friends’ faces every time I get called out of class by my mechaneches, just to chat about things. The only way for anyone in school staff to take any interest in you is to get yourself a boyfriend, or wear a mini skirt.
I’ve seen girls surreptitiously pulling their skirts up every time this mechaneches passes them in the halls, hoping that she’ll notice them if they look like they’re going through something.
But maybe that’s an entirely different issue…
I love your question, Style!
Like several others have already posted, the purpose in tefilla is more about developing a relationship with Hashem than convincing Him to change His plans for you.
But that’s not to say that our davening to Hashem doesn’t affect things- after we daven, we are on a higher madreiga than we were on before, and so we may not need as many nisyonos.
Wow, thanks for the that, CIJ! I doubt that’s true, but it’s sweet of you.
To all those that were not mentioned- don’t worry! We love you all. 🙂
Barry, while I agree with you somewhat, I really don’t like the comparison between posessing a smartphone and walking out on the street.
When you walk out on the street, do you sometimes have an intense desire to look at pictures and videos that can destroy your neshama? Sure, there are billboards sometimes, and also scantily clad women. But the damage that you cause to your neshama by looking at these things is nowhere near the amount of damage that can be caused by using the dark side of the Internet.
The spiritual danger that is inherent in posessing a smartphone is many times worse than the danger in walking down the street, so the two can not be compared fairly.
Also, yes- smartphones are computers. But anyone with a life does not have 24/7 access to a computer, whereas your smartphone is always with you. By buying a smartphone, you are pretty much signing a contract with your Yetzer hara, allowing him to live with you 24/7, and promising that you will have what I think (little me 🙂 is the most powerful weapon he possesses.
SJ,
I looked at the OP’s profile page, and noticed that she’d started threads about seminaries. Seems like something only a female would do. 🙂
Your answer to my second question is great, but what about my third?
The campaign is a success! The number of posts and threads have increased sharply over the past few days. Baruch HaShem for Pesach vacation and bein hazemanim! 🙂
Cool story, Sidi, but I feel like if the first sentence of your post is true, then that person wouldn’t have had bechira.
Why do you want her to get rid of her smart phone?
Why do you feel that it is your responsibility to make her get rid of her smartphone?
Most importantly, do you realize that the likelihood of your getting your friend to ditch her smart phone for a kosher one is close to zero? Life changes have to come from the person themselves, or they won’t be permanent.
Judging by the comments on the advertorial about it on YWN, either it is the awesomest book ever written, or the person responsible for posting that article spent several minutes creating usernames and posting fictitious 5 star ratings for it.
SDD
Read showjoe’s post. “…and this mission is crucial for the world to survive.”
So what is kefirah, Sam?
Showjoe,
That sounds so great and comforting and all that, but it’s not true. If it was true, then the world would cease to exist after anyone commits suicide.
In a way, Hashem is that circle. No end and no beginning- eternal.
My gosh, this thread just went from funny to deep. Sorry about that! 🙂
A circle has no end and no beginning.
That’s a gorgeous post, LF.
Thanks.
Well, everything will lead to Mashiach. Not too much of a shocker there 🙂
By which I mean, whether Obama would win or McCain, it would ultimately lead to the same thing- Mashiach’s coming.
CA,
Is that a comma I see?! #aghast
Are you stalking me?
🙂
Thanks, SDD.
Sir,
I didn’t find your post preachy at all! I think that your view on the world is truly awesome. I’ve just had too much experience with awful people to be able to see things your way, I’m afraid.
Well yes, I was. At the time, I was in a rather awful mood.
But it is somewhat true. Sure, there are some decent people out there. But for the most part? Ugh.
Happy birthday!
Wishing you a year of happiness, redemption, and growth.
I don’t think I will, CA. 🙂
Please repost, but this time with proper punctuation.
WHAT?!
I’ve never heard of at least 5 of those supposed issurim. Not that that really counts for much, because I’m not some lomdish guy, but still!
I’ve seen many respected rebbetzins walking around with their hands behind ther back…
Oh, and my eight month old nephew had the lovely experience of admiring his adorable visage in the mirror long before his teeth grew in!
I do remember learning about not cutting nails on Thursday- if I remember correctly, that’s just a good thing to do, not an aveira. I might be wrong about that, though…
I feel like some of these (if not most of them) are just superstitions from the Dark Ages that somehow got passed on to the next generation as halacha.
Once we’re on the topic, I heard something about it being dangerous to drink an even number of cups of wine. Anyone have a source for this?
What, the possible destruction of our planet? Why on earth not?
Half?
I think not.
The world is a crazy place, filled with horrible, selfish, and cruel people. Anyone that denies that is either hopelessly naive or is deceiving themselves.
CA,
Why does the fact that politics change strengthen your emunah?
It strengthens my conviction that President Obama is one of the worst presidents we’ve ever been unfortunate enough to have.
I don’t know specific traits, I just heard that they were all the kind of children that most people dream of having- good middos, spiritual…
The 15 year old girl that survived is a genuinely good person. You know how some people just have this solid goodness inside of them that is obvious to everyone they meet? She’s like that… I know her indirectly, through a mutual friend.
It’s so sad…