lawgirl

As a 24 year old single and female law student I can relate to the some of the things mentioned in this thread. In addition to being able to relate to some of what was said , I disagree with some of what was said in the thread. I will attempt to point out the statements I agree with, the statements I disagree with, and then finally set out a theory as to the “single female law student/lawyer crisis of 2010.”

1- I agree with asyyeger’s claim that many guys do not want to seriously date and marry women who are smarter than they are. I had this conversation with a young man I was on a date with yesterday and he agreed and admitted to having many friends who feel intimidated by women that are smarter than they are on dates. Because I am a smart woman I have often been told (generally by my father) to be less obvious about my intellect on dates. His theory is that men are intimidated by smart women and it is best to slowly let the man see your intelligence. My constant response to him is, “I don’t know how to control it.” I’d like to think that the man I marry will be appreciate my intelligence. Perhaps this is too much to ask…

2- In addition I agree with asyyeger’s point that law school teaches you how to think like a lawyer and that overflows into other parts of your life. Recently I’ve been receiving comments that I need to “stop talking like a lawyer.” Again, this is not something I can control and if I actively find myself “talking like a lawyer” I attempt to stop myself. However, I am (or will be) and shouldn’t have to quash tha aspect of my personality.

3- A third point where I agree with asyyeger, time to date. Clearly I have or make the time to date when I mentioned above that I had a date with a guy last night (who was not intimidated by my intelligence) and have another guy flying across the country to date me tomorrow (yes I double date- at “my age” you can’t afford to give up an opportunity that arises). There’s enough time to date. Did I mention I had a boyfriend my entire first year of law school? Like anything else in life, if it’s a priority you will make time for it.

4- I very much hear the point of apushatayid. If I were 24 and had no job or career at all I would be considered a moocher. But did we forget about the guys that are moochers? I was talking to a guy I went out with a few years ago who at that point didn’t like me because he was intimidated by my intelligence. On the date he told me the only reason he went to college is so girls wouldn’t say no him in shidduchim. He’s now 31 years old, still single, and something important on his list is an accomplished girl. How is that fair to the girl to be accomplished when her husband isn’t her equal? A friend of mine said to me earlier today that a person is happiest when they think they have something of value and even happier when they don’t fully believe they deserve that item. How can a girl be happy if she doesn’t believe she has something of value?

5- Whoever said OT/PT/Speech is harder than law school has clearly never been to law school. This not meant to minimize the difficulty of OT/PT, but I’ve watched my therapist friends and I’ve been through law school. There is no way and no comparison in the difficulty of the schooling of the different careers.

6- As for establishing my own theory of the “female law student shidduch crisis of 2010,” I think it’s a triangle. The same rational that is applied to the agism in shidduchim applies to the intelligent female. Let me start by explaining the age triangle for those who are unfamiliar with it. A popular theory is that there are so many more “older” single girls than “older” single guys because as a guy gets older his pool gets larger while as a girl gets older her pool only gets smaller. A 30 year old guy can easily be set up with a 22 year old girl while a 30 year old girl will (almost) never be set up with a 22 year old guy. This creates somewhat of a triangle, as the guy gets older he climbs to the peak to look down at his potential mates while as a girl gets older she climbs to the peak only able to look up to her potential mates. The same is true for men and women and intelligence. A smarter, more educated, male can be set up with a smarter, more educated, female while a smarter, more educated, female will generally only be set up with more educated men. Again, this creates a similar triangle affect.

Now, imagine combining the two triangles? You can see how as an educated guy gets older even if the width of the base of his triangle remains the same the width of the peak of the girls triangle has just become vastly narrower.