laguy

There is no question that you will get better care if you call Hatzolah in LA. The fire department here could care less and I would agree that they take forever just to get out of their stations. Its the biggest problem LA Hatzolah faces, they want you to call them first but the firemen make such a big deal out of it if they find out you didn’t call 911 first. How do they know? They ask when they get to a frum house and then lecture the family. its only a question of time before hatzolah finally takes a stand against the fire department. If you talk to the la hatzolah guys, they’ll tell you that they’ve witnessed the fire department guys doing cpr wrong and other such malpractice but can’t say a word because of the politics. A couple more dead patients c’v ought to bring enough outrage.

WHAT???? they don’t everything in Lakewood???? Well that settles it, I’ll stay here in LA!

myfriend – I was simply stating a fact I wasn’t making a judgement. With that said, I have yet to see a place “in Judaism” where it says a woman MAY NOT ride a bike, assuming of course she is tzanua.

WIY – yes with men around. We haven’t yet figured out a way to keep the beaches here separate:)

So how does this work practically? Do you utter your last words and then die? Do you utter your last words then get sick? So many people lay unconscious for days, weeks, months without saying a word before they die. So can we take this literally? PLEASE!

I don’t think that was meant to be taken literally, as The Wolf points out otherwise mutes would live forever. It’s meant to show you the power of words and to be cautious how you use them.

It’s always nice to bring something. Here in LA, Tomchei Shabbos has a “service” whereby you make a donation to them in the your host’s honor and they send an acknowledgement e-mail to them.

I think this a wonderful way to say thanks to your host AND help people who are less fortunate. Like BP Totty said, who needs another candy dish???

I did not read the article and I am not going to necessarily disagree with what others here are saying. However, I personally know of several of my classmates that went OTD, long before internet was a prevalent as it is today.

There is no hard a fast rule as to why kids go OTD, and internet MAY be a factor in some of them. Yet the internet can also be a factor in bringing people back.

I personally think the reason we’re seeing more and more of this is because of the quality of the education kids get in school and the non-availability of parents at home as we have to work much harder to make it financially. In regard to the schooling, the Yeshiva system and Rabbeim have not kept up with the times and generally have no idea what they’re really up against. because there is so much more information available to kids today, they are more savvy and can see through most of the old way of teaching.

Ner Aryeh did not close, they effectively broke away form Valley Torah High School, another great choice for kids that don’t exactly fit the Yeshivish mold.

All the yeshivas, high schools and educational institutions in LA are wonderful. Each seeks to educate a different type of student and creates a wonderful environment for them. A couple fo the schools that were not mentioned are Yavneh, located in Hancock Park in what is an incredible campus lead by an equally impressive administration, and Ohr Eliyahu which just moved in to the Hancock Park area and has an incredible campus of their own. Both of these schools are Nursery through 8th Grade.

LA is great, where else can you imagine kids going to spend the day at the park in the middle of January?

As a resident of LA almost my whole life, here’s what I can tell you. Whatever hashkafa you follow, you’ll find a community here to fit into. LA has many of the same essential organizations that NY has, Bikur Cholim Tomchei Shabbos, Hatzolah, etc. As far as the billboards and things of that nature, sometimes people who live here don;t see them because it has become part of the landscape, but it is disgusting at best. It is not uncommon to have a HUGE billboard with unquestionable pritzus put up right in the heart of the yeshivish community. Understand, the people here are warm and nice, but the community exists WITHIN the larger LA community which includes the clubs, movie theaters, restaurant, and everything else to cater to the younger “hip” crowd that LA truly attracts.

This is a great town but you MUST go into this with your eyes WIDE OPEN.

Lastly, be very aware that the cost of living here is very high. If you choose to live in the Yeshivish community, i.e. Hancock Park or the areas that surround the original Kollel (Beverly/La Brea) you had better be prepared to spend $1,000,000 for a house, and that’s for a moderate size house (3BD 3Bath). If you go to the “other side of town” also know as Pico, you may be able to find something a little cheaper, but prices are around the same. The Valley has houses more moderately priced but starting in the $600,000 range, but that includes “commuting” to the City. Rents for a place for a family will start at about $2500 and will go up from there.

Tuitions will start at $18,000 per kid at any school you choose, but they will work with you if you need it.

Good luck on making this choice, if you do choose to come here, you will be welcomed with open arms.

There is definitely too much TALK about tznius in schools, shuls, forums, etc. The other issue is that all too many times the ills of the world are blamed on women not wearing tznius clothing. In today’s world when you say that to a kid, a teenager, and even an adult woman (“the reason 9-11 happened was because woman are showing too much of their collar bones, knees or elbows”) it loses it’s effectiveness. Our girls and women today are much more sophisticated than that.

I personally teach my daughter the importance of valuing herself as a PERSON and not feeling the NEED to dress in a way that exposes her too much. Girls need to learn the importance of loving themselves first, then they’ll stop trying to get the outside attention with the way they dress.

If someone is dressed in a way that is unacceptable to you and they are in a public place, you have NO RIGHT to say anything. If they are in your home you can say something in a nice way. If you do that and they still ignore you, you have an issue of respect going on.

People today are afraid to set standards and deal with them directly. When that occurs and we are not passive aggressive about it, we’ll see results. Lastly, when other people who are pointing out other people’s faults are doing so while “misbehaving” in other areas, your words are null.

Tuition is a problem and I can’t speak to the prevalent attitude there on the East Coast but tuitions here in LA are very high. So if you have 4 kids in school and earn the same $175,000 that was referred to by SJSinNYC as the threshold in Teaneck, most regular folks in LA couldn’t afford to send their kids to Yeshiva.

Consider the following: schools here are asking from $18,000 each = $72,000 just for tuition. Rents run in the $3000/mo range for a decent size place for a family of six, another $36,000 for the year. If you choose to buy in any neighborhood in LA, the “yeshivish” part of town (Hancock Park/Fairfax), the houses run $1,000,000 (give or take $100,000), the more modern part (Pico) about the same, a mix of the two (the Valley) you can buy a smaller house starting in the $600,000 range, property taxes run 1.25%(?) of the purchase price or current market value. Add in food, clothing, moderate car payment, etc. take away the taxes, I’m not so sure it is so affordable at full tuition. Mind you, many of the schools are charging over $20,000, you can make the changes in the above numbers accordingly.

So if you are making $100,000 a year and have 4 kids, you’re probably asking for a scholarship and expecting one.

The best segulah I heard of is dating…

I used to be a “no talking” guy and hated when others talked in shul. I then moved to a new shul and got sucked into the talking scene. Things changed dramatically when I had to start saying Kaddish. I could never have imagined how disruptive talking was while someone was trying to say Kaddish. I think if people really knew how their talking disturbed others, they wouldn’t do it. I’ve now re-reformed myself to NO TALKING and I’m hoping my non-participation in conversations will encourage others not to talk.

In LA the Yeshivish school (Toras Emes) is about $18,000 per student with some discounts for multiple students. The more “modern” type day schools are over $20,000 (Yavneh, Hillel, Maimonides).

The high schools are about the same with the largest “modern” high school topping out at $25,000+.

Scholarships are available to families in need and it seems no one is turned away for REAL financial need, but they do want to know what you spend your money on.

yb613 – why don’t you clarify the “issue or problem” so we can get a better “grasp” on it and comment intelligently.

I’m an FFB who married a girl whose family (not frum) chose to send her to only frum schools. This was all fine and dandy until they realized that our “lifestyle” didn’t exactly mesh with theirs, ie, real kashrus not just kosher style, shabbos the whole day not just until the evening but it especially came out when we had our kids and sent them to schools “more frum” than they would have chosen. We’ve all come to a place where it’s now quite comfortable, each respecting the others place and not imposing on one another.

But I think the issues that people face in this area are more indicative of the people involved and not the issue. If the religious thing wasn’t the issue, it would be something else. It’s sometimes hard for parents to watch their children make decisions they don’t necessarily agree with, be it religious, college vs. yeshiva, what career they choose or not, where they live, and in some families how they dress their kids. When looking for your life partner, look for someone that has a “yichus” of good people, regardless of their religious affiliation. A good person is a good person, I don’t think there’s any correlation to whether you’re a BT or FFB. Character counts!

All these stories are further to the point I made earlier. Rabbeim and Moros should have real training before they are given charge of a class full of children, no matter the age. We all talk about our kids being precious and the next generation, etc. how can we fail them by not properly training those we entrust to mold and teach them? For those of us that have had negative experiences, we KNOW how this affects us, be it at Yomim Noraim or in our everyday religious life.

As soon as we take the teaching position as seriously as it is and demand accountability, we will see some changes to the positive and a bright future for our children.

“What should I tell my hosts and how can I be part of the mitzvah of hamotzi?”

If there is some sort of bread that you CAN eat, then ask if they mind if you bring it along (just make sure it’s an acceptable hechsher for that family). If you cannot have cannot have any hamotzi, then just let them know. Most hosts are very understanding if other people’s situations and are quite willing to accommodate as much as they can.

Trying my best: The word “need” is somewhat debateable. When a school can’t make its payroll they NEED to do something more fiscally responsible. While I understand the reasons for teachin limudei kodesh in the morning, it is not the absolute. I was brought up that way, but now my kids are in a school where some of the grades are different. They start their day davening and have a quick shiur right after. They then go to math, etc. at around 1:30 or so the rebbe or morah comes in and they do limudei kodesh after they have taught their other limudei kodesh classes inthe morning. I frankly don’t see any difference in what my kids are learning. We still have very lively divrei torah on shabbos and beleive it or not on the way home from school, because they just got out of chumash or navi. It CAN work!

tomim tihye: that is not exactly what I’m saying. What I propose is that every yeshiva, school and educational institution do the best they can to run their programs with a responsible business model. If Rabbeim and teachers are earning a full days pay, they should put in a full days work. Someone who enters the teaching profession understands (or should understand) that this is not an industry that will earn you bug bucks. In fact if you are a teacher you can expect to have some financial struggle. (These are not my rules, these are the rules within our society, both religious and secular.)

A person that enters chinuch understands that their work does not end when they leave, they have their busy times as much as an accountant in March and April, but what they gain in return is not materialistic (and it doesn’t hurt that they have the whole summer off).

What I’m suggesting is that each teacher spend an entire day teaching, thereby allowing the school to cut back some of the other staff they hire part time. Its cheaper to hire fewer full time staff than to hire many part time staff to fill the same functions.

I’d like throw my two cents into this as someone who has kids in school in LA. I have 3 kids and if I were to pay full tuition my obligation would be $61,000 PLUS dinner fees, building fees, and every other little fee they come up with, and that would be after the $500 – $750 “registration fee” PER CHILD. To add a little insult to injury, to be considered for scholarship, we must pay an additional fee of $25 – $30 (little I know, but a fee to ask for help???) How is a family like ours supposed to pay a tuition like that when earning $130,000/yr. with both parents working full time?

It always felt weird to me that many of the Rabbeim in the school own their own homes, pay no tuition, work 3/4 of the day and we’re working hard full time and renting, I won’t even go into the issue of putting money away. Cars are a necessity in LA so no savings there, food costs are ridiculous so obviously big vacations are out of the question, as well as a cleaning lady.

This tuition situation is a huge problem for the Jewish community. We can’t put our kids in public school and home schooling doesn’t work for the families where both parents work. So making choices and begging for a scholarship are the only way to go. How many times do I have to walk into a tuition committee for them to say “So are things better this year?” I don’t think they get it, things aren’t better or worse, they are the same, I earn the same money, I live in the same place, my kids are a year older and cost me more. How does that justify me paying them more?

The system will crumble at some point. It is built on a poor foundation, it can’t continue this way.