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There are excellent shiurim given by Rebbetzin Basya Cohen in Lakewood and Deal, and by her mother Rebbetzin Brog in Brooklyn.
I can give you the Lakewood information if you’re interested, the NY info I can find out
The easy thing about the computer is it doesn’t require your constant interaction with them. It may be hard for you to get busy playing with them when you have to make supper and also just walked in the door, etc. One thing that is much better is tapes (today it’s cd’s) appropriate for their age. Jewish tapes are very educational and enjoyable for them – not on the computer – then the imagination is being used while listening.
Midos Machine, Mitzvah Tree, Rabbi Juravel on the Parsha, and they absolutely love Morah Music and will dance and sing and act out everything, esp. once you teach them what’s going on in each song. (I think more than one may have come out, we only have the first one.)
Also, soon the weather will be warm and they can play outdoors. You didn’t say if they are boys or girls, but I have a 4 year old girl who loves doll carriages – I buy them in the Flea Market for a few dollars – she has a few of them and constantly cares for her dolls. Any new toy for a child will draw them off the computer, large puzzles, and then you can make the computer off limits until a later hour (if there are older children who will turn it on anyway.)
I think – that getting dressed in the morning is also part of the problem. When we’re in a hurry, it’s hard to try on one thing, then reject it, pick another etc.
Can you allocate the time to go through your whole wardrobe – decide how many outfits you want to have (start with winter everyday clothes), divide them up into 100% acceptable, so-so, no good, and then try to go shopping to buy enough new things to have let’s say 5-7 100% acceptable every day outfits.
There are lots of sales now – if you will enjoy wearing your new things, you will then have the courage to get rid of the old “unacceptable” ones.
Good Luck
Moderator 80-
I am so amazed at your attitude and haskofos.
I am trying to apply what you said to a very difficult nisayon I have with someone who cheated me out of a lot of money, but I cannot prove it enough in a Bais Din to get it back. I am so so angry at them, but have to try to work on myself to recognize that Hashem sent me this test.
I think perhaps everyone could refrain from criticizing eachother. I think we all know that wasting/killing time and viewing immorality are wrong things (obviously the 2nd one much worse).
No orthodox Jew would condone having a immoral magazine with some ok pages on their coffee table.
Television and the internet both have that component to them. Many kosher things juxaposed with unkoshe. You just turn the page and it’s right there. A person can make the choice to only look at what’s ok, but that’s a tremendous challenge for many. Rabbonim feel the risks are too great to ignore.
I don’t think Rabbi Miller would say someone who uses television/internet in a “kosher way” only has lost his olam haba, but he’s certainly risking his olam habba and if not his than that of his family.
I think we all have to be open minded and courageous enough to realize these risks and take appropriate measures accordingly. And work to improve each and our own madreiga to avoid these things depending on where we are holding. But no one can bury their head in the sand and say there are no very serious risks.
Quoting that the Rav had a television doesn’t mean he approved on the immorality on it, and if he was living today I imagine he’d come up with guidelines for internet/television use for his followers. Although he may have not struggled with the desire to view inappropriate things and waste time too, he would understand that many would have such struggles.
We should all be zocheh to improve in these areas – no matter where we come from without trying to put others down!!