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I don’t know if chronic lying would be classified as a behavior issue, but it’s important for a teacher to know. For example, the first time I caught her cheating, and she swore that she didn’t cheat, I figured I had just been seeing things. It took until the third time that I knew for certain that I had not been seeing things, and had seen her cheat. She’s an excellent liar, and it’s hard not to trust her. A few days into school, someone else who worked in the school that was never her teacher warned me that she’s a chronic liar, but I didn’t believe her. Would I have believed it if a teacher had told me? I don’t know. Probably not. But the first time I saw her cheat I probably would have trusted my eyes.
pba- agreed. There is a huge difference. When I taught, I wasn’t told anything about my students in advance. I gave each student a few minutes to talk about themselves, and each told me about her family situation. This was for whoever wants other girls to know as well. Any student who wanted to tell me anything privately did so after the first class, or a bit later on in the year. The only things I would have liked to know in advance were 1) One of my students was a chronic liar in the past, and tends to slip back into that. 2) A different student was always top of the class, and performs best when she knows someone else might top her.
“Are you home?”
“I’m NOT home!”
“You can’t fool me… I see the light on in your kitchen, so I know you’re home”
The Goq- I don’t think asking which school she’s going to is insensitive if they are not aware of her situation. For most people, that’s an ordinary question to ask. I have a family member that’s in the same situation right now. Whenever anyone asks me about it, I just answer that we’re still deciding. I may feel hurt every time I think about the situation, but it’s not the person that’s hurting me. It’s the situation.
Gamanit: While what you said is true, I assume that access in a locked room is much much much much more dangerous than using the library or even an internet cafe.
As I said, parents should be the ones providing the wi-fi, and seeing what their child is looking at. Parents should use common sense though- if a kid is spending hours in a locked bedroom, the lock should be taken away. If he/she is simply locking the door for a half hour in the morning to get dressed, and the same at night, I see no reason he/she shouldn’t have one. As much as you may knock before opening your childs door, it’s still uncomfortable getting dressed when the door is not locked.
the-art-of-moi- I think there is a greater danger of not allowing the teen to have a lock. Any teen can go to the local public library and access the internet there. If they want unfiltered internet, they can go to the local internet cafe. If the parents don’t allow them even a lock on their door to allow them to get dressed in their rooms, that shows a lack of trust. When you don’t trust someone, they give you a reason not to trust them.
On the other hand, if parents make filtered wi-fi readily available, and get a list that cannot be deleted of any site accessed over the network, the parents can get a general idea of where their kid is up to without infringing on their teens privacy.
Gamanit, the medicine still can have side affects and affect a person’s body, such as their weight and height and a person’s personality.
Where did I ever say the medication is without side effects? I don’t think I said anything like that. Every medication has side effects. The decision that every person has to make is whether the benefits of the medication outweigh the side effects for their particular situation. I have never heard of medication that is meant to help ADHD affecting weight, height or personality. Rather other side effects, and the persons perception of their own personality.
Deciding whether or not to take any medication should never be taken lightly. Any person with ADHD should see a qualified psychiatrist with experience treating ADHD. Every case needs to be treated individually, and reevaluated constantly.
I don’t think it’s basar min hachai either, since they aren’t taking any flesh. They’re taking a part of the blood. Since blood is assur, the question may be whether stem cells can be considered blood, or is it something else.
Well, if you tell him the medication is to make him like other boys, I can see why that wouldn’t be good for his self-esteem. But why not tell him the truth? Tell him that he’s a wonderful boy, and he’s perfect the way he is. The problem is, that school isn’t the real world. You can’t enter the real world until you finish school. Until he finishes school, he’ll have to slow down his mind to match other kids so that the teachers can keep up with him. As soon as he goes into the real world, he can set his own pace. The medication can help him slow down and focus on slow moving material. That way he’ll have the advantage of learning on a higher level than if he would have to settle for the teachers willing to teach a boy with a faster brain speed.
truthsharer- you’re mixing apples and oranges. This is not about improper thoughts. Men can see women on these busses no problem. In Israel buses tend to get very crowded, and it’s better not to have men and women mixed together in crowded situations. I think the men should be at the back of the bus though, instead of the women. That way a woman who’s nauseous doesn’t have to be the only woman among all the men.
If I remember correctly, the issur is ever min hachai, not bassar min hachai. Since stem cells are taken from the blood the question would be whether it is blood or not.
I don’t find it demeaning, but I do think it would be better to have it vice-versa. Not because of “kavod” or “dignity”, rather something much more practical… People who are carsick are more carsick in the back of the bus than in the front of the bus. Take a pregnant woman and put her on the back of the bus, and she’ll be throwing up the whole time. When I was a student in Israel, I remember my teacher pointing this out. I wonder if the bus organizers ever thought of this…
Nopes. I don’t mess with things that are stronger than me. What if the driver is a psycho and decides to keep turning anyhow?
Sam2- It’s enough only when the man doesn’t work in a field with woman, like a male o.b. Some of her patients might be. In such a situation, you need two reasons.
A 2005 scientific paper, “Natural History of Ashkenazi Intelligence”, proposed that Ashkenazi Jews as a group inherit higher verbal and mathematical intelligence but lower spatial intelligence than other ethnic groups
b) mentally and physically boys aren’t ready at 18.
Physically not ready? What’s the major physical difference between an 18 year old and a 23 year old? Emotionally and economically you’d be right.
New threads are fresher and talk about things that are related to today, not four years ago. Its annoying to have to read through 50 pages of the OTD thread to understand one sentance when you are new….
Hint- Instead of reading through all pages, just click on the time of the last post in the “Freshness” column. That’ll take you to the last post.
And I opened it to see which poster someone’s bashing…
frumnotyeshivish- I know you likely won’t believe me, but I’m actually not racist. I’m talking about averages here, but every person is a person for himself. Just like Ashkanazi jews tend to be worse at spacial reasoning compared to the general population, doesn’t mean there can’t be an Ashkenazi jew that’s good at it. Spacial reasoning happens to be one of my strong points. Judging an individual based on his race is just wrong.
midwesterner- I don’t know about your family, but my family prewar ran businesses. After the war, although they didn’t have any money, they knew how to run a business. Also, they grew up with a certain level of comfort, and couldn’t be comfortable with less than that. It wasn’t just a nice dream for them to have their own apartment and nice furniture- it was normality. Yes, throughout the holocaust they didn’t have that, but that was not their normality. The slaves that were let free did not have the intelligence, business skills, or standards of the general population. They have less to strive for. My grandparents found it worthwhile to go without furniture and use all their factory earnings to invest in building their own business because they knew they could. They had already done it successfully in Europe before everything was taken away from them. They actually never made it to the wealth they had prewar, but they did earn enough to survive on. It’s much harder to move to a higher economic bracket than to go back to your own…
He’s not deciding not to work. He figures that since this job thing isn’t really working out, his family is better off without him while he tries to sort it out. Of course he’ll tell himself that as soon as he has a job that can support his family he’ll come back… it just doesn’t end up happening. I’m not making this up- I’ve heard it from families where this is what happened. As a single parent home they were eligible for enough government aid to make it, whereas when the father was in the picture they couldn’t afford clothing.
If you live in Brooklyn maybe you can try Exquisite. I don’t really shop there myself, but I heard they have decent prices. I usually shop in non-jewish stores…
I’m not a biologist, but I don’t think that is how DNA works. For one thing, there is no such thing as a “smart” gene. You cannot pass on being “stupid” genetically to your children, it’s impossible. Also, the African Masai tribe in Kenya and Tanzania has people that are very tall, and were tall thousands of years before Europeans came and took slaves.
It’s not one gene, it’s a combination of genes. Since stupid slaves were preferred (read Uncle Tom’s Cabin), they were more likely to be allowed to keep their kids. Since in normal populations a smart person is more likely to become rich and able to afford more children, after a few generations of freedom the balance should be able to go back.
midwesterner- where did I mention that single parent homes have anything to do with how smart someone is? That’s entirely Welfares credit. Again, slavery did have a factor in this. It takes many generations for families to establish themselves economically. Without Welfare, that’s easier done in a two parent home. Now that there is Welfare, a husband and father who isn’t earning much money feels like his family would be better off without him. They’ll get more money from Welfare than they would from his income. I’ve heard of several real families where this was the main reason the husband/father left.
Oh Shreck!- probably younger than 20, if he lived to that late.
rationalfrummie- actually, poverty isn’t the only factor. Most African-Americans are still descendents of slaves. Since strong, not-too-clever slaves were preferred by masters, it would make sense for the slave population over time to become taller, stronger, and stupider. Being as African-Americans have their DNA, it would make sense for it to take a few generations for the smart genes to dominate again.
Theoretically speaking, if a girl falls flat on her face and a 50lb suitcase lands on her back, don’t touch her. I don’t care if you’re a man, woman or chimpanzee. If something heavy lands on a persons back, they can potentially have a spinal injury. She/he should not be moved until EMS examines her/him. You should call EMS right away, and only then can you gently remove the suitcase as long as you don’t move her at the same time.
I’m sure if she would have been seriously injured qualified personnel would have been notified right away. Travel tip to girls going to seminary- in Ben Gurion Airport, luggage carts are free. No need to make do without one like many do in JFK.
yeshivaguy45- a wide skirt picks up just as much with the wind, and is more likely to get caught in the gears.
yeshivaguy45- even if someone is dressed tznius, it takes a lot of practice to keep the skirt from picking up or getting caught in the gears. My choice would be to give girls that practice when they’re younger, but I can understand a community from choosing not to do so.
He’s asking us to work together. There are people with good voices who cannot compose, who take their songs from composers with awful voices.
oomis- I’m not saying if I were there I wouldn’t help- not at all. What I’m trying to say is the story might have been exaggerated to begin with… I’ve been on five minute lines at the kosel and heard sem girls complaining how it’s not fair they had to wait a half hour. We were on the same line, I had a watch. Based on the way seminary girls tend to talk I’d assume the real incident was that she tripped over her suitcase, landed somewhere between the other two with it somewhat on top of her. People were looking for about three seconds deciding what to do, and she got up on her own without help. The story she said is what it FELT like to her, not what actually happened. Think basic physics…
oomis, not a 50lb bag…
I’ve actually seen real red onions. Color red. Purple onions are sweeter though…
She had two 50 lb bags plus a carry on suitcase weighing about 20 lbs as well as a 10-15 lb backpack. As Sara weighs 110 lbs, yes the bags together (weighing about 130 lb) DID weigh more than her….. On her way there, she stumbled over one of her larger bags
Nopes. She may have weighed less than all of her bags together, but if she tripped over one of her larger bags, then the most that could have been on top of her is 70lbs. It would take real talent to trip and fall underneath what you tripped over… It is possible that the whole thing was for less than a half a minute and she exaggerated when telling this story to her mother.
oneoutofthree- eggplants used to be small, white and egg-shaped. Just like carrots used to be purple.
Udi Davidi songs are amazing… the tune and the lyrics go together perfectly- as if they were both made for each other. That’s what I like best about a song… the whole of it together! When it all goes well. Nice lyrics to me are meaningless if the tune isn’t appropriate for them.
oomis is right, I just wanted to add a point. Although the white looks much better, if you have a tendency to clench your teeth tightly get the silver fillings. White fillings can fall out from biting too hard.
I have definitely been in situations in which I had two heavy, bulky suitcases and it was easier for me to wheel one in front of me (pushing) and one behind me (pulling). Therefore, if I were to trip and fall backwards, I could imagine the front suitcase landing on top of me.
And if you were to roll onto your side it would fall off and you can stand up without too much effort. Also, how does one trip and fall backwards? Unless you mean slip…
hmmm… OP joining right before the post is a signature of a real post, no? Either way, I can’t see how a girl can possibly weigh less than her luggage. Most airlines allow one 50lb suitcase. Add in a 20lb carry on, and you get 70lb total. You’re telling me a normal seminary girl weighed less than 70lb? I don’t buy that. Even if she paid for a second suitcase, that’s a total of 120lb. Most girls should be able to extricate themselves out of under 120lb of luggage and go get a luggage cart on their own within two minutes without help.
jewishfeminist02- I see nothing wrong with a doctor recommending a nutritionist to a patient.
I’ve bought decent clothing online, but I did have to get the shells in jewish stores.
Well, you can tactfully say that popa generally only dates girls that are a bit thinner.
If you really believe strongly in this, use capitalism to change this. Open a competition.
You know the moshol about the man who was drowning and davened to Hashem to save him? Then a boat came along, and he said “no thanks, Hashem will save me”, and a man with a life jacket came along, and he said “no thanks, Hashem will save me”, and a helicopter came along, and he said “no thanks, Hashem will save me”. And then he drowned, and he got to shamayim and asked, “Hashem, why didn’t you save me?” And Hashem said, “I tried to save you! I sent you a boat, and a life jacket, and a helicopter, but you wouldn’t take them!”
I’ll fix up the moshol a bit to make it more appropriate. A man was stranded in middle of the ocean. He was just about staying at the surface by treading water. A pirate ship passed by and invited him aboard. He refused to go. A ship flying the flag of an enemy country passed by and offered to take him on, he refused. A personal enemy passed by on a helicopter and threw him a rope. He did not grab on, and kept treading water. His enemy yelled down “What are you waiting for? Why won’t you let anyone rescue you?” He replied “I’m waiting for someone to rescue me that isn’t doing it for the privilege of killing me. Until one such person comes along, I’ll keep treading water and doing my best to stay afloat”
If you have a gentle touch you should be able to unroll a mezuzah without cracking it
You’re the only lifeguard for about 100 kids? That doesn’t sound too safe. I would ask for at least two junior lifeguards to assist.
I didn’t notice it said parents… I only noticed the word grandfather.
Um, if he said his grandfather is jewish, how would that make him jewish if his grandmother isn’t?