keep climbing

My height is killing me. i cant change it. it causes me so much pain and suffering .why did hashem do this to me? im so upset at him. im weaker than everyone else i look weird who is going to marry me. every day it causes me so much pain sometimes i even feel suicidal because of it.and this is besides alot of other issues.

Im not happy. I dont enjoy life and i dont know why.its not like something bad is happening when i feel like this. i just foot have that enjoyment from living and i dont know where to get it from. i dont like learning so much and i kpn dont like talking either. and i get bullied sometimes also and since im tiny i want do anything about it what should i do?

Thank you so much to both shopping613 and to buisness1 for your replies.Thank you also for the support and caring you have for me. I wont tell you exactly what happened,but in the last few days the situation has gotten better and is hopefully on the right track. Thanks for davening for me especially at the kvaros.I always like when at the end of your posts you right thinking of you. It makes me feel so good when someone shows that they care so much.May both of you have all the brachos in the world and may you also overcome your struggles and challenges. (Thank you so much also to the starters of the coffee room. you have helped me out so much by offering this amazing service)

im having a really hard time now. i feel so overwhelmed and my heart feels heavy. i want handle the learning im my school. not because me the school but because me me. imagine learning and the whole time you feel inferior self conscious and bad about yourself its not a good feeling.school is really hard for me. i have all there bad messages im my head all day. about how short i am about how merry and unpopular i am about how im below the level of learning than everyone else about all my problems and life is not fun the way it is right now. i have myself and i have were self esteem. another problem i have is that i think i am bipolar. i could be loving life one second and hating it the next and also i foot wanton tell my parents about there problems because they think im happy here which i was but now all there old problems creeped up.in also really sensitive and easily hurt and being really short and weak depots help any of that neither does having social anxiety and possibly avoident personality disorder. btw i called the hotline and it was spent helpfull actually. help ! ! !

I have a problem.when i have a strong bad feeling then i feel the need to tell someone even if i dont.but sometimes i have bad feeling that arent so intense and i up wait for it to pass.i have trouble opening up to people about either one . the less intense bad feelings come again and again. at i just let then im because its easier. side question whats the purpose of me and this world?

feeling very fake and awful mood. can anyone relate?

Im feeling suicidal about my height.the pain is just too strong.i cant spend tge rest of my life livimg as a midget.when i was a kid i would makd fun of the realy short guys.now thats me and it sucks so much and life sucks.

I’m not doing well still.I’m notherwise happy with my life and find no enjoyment in living.even when there’s no bad feeling there is still no happiness.I find it extremely hard to tell my problems and difficulties with others .even if you wwould pay me a lot of money I still wouldn’t do it.I am really inverted so even a sshirt ssimple conversation knocks me out .I don’t know where to start or what to do to help myself in a way that’s possible.business1?

Im sorry for not writing in so long.But I dont really have anything to write about.My confidence is growing a little.I also relized that during conversations Im also allowed to talk.Usualy when I talk I talk realy quick but I started to enjoy when I speak and my conversations are so much less akwerd because I can talk about something.Thank you so much coffee room for giving me a lifeline when I need chizuk.

Why is it fair that I struggle so much in life and everyone else seems and also has a easier time.Im akwerd dont have a great personality.Im anxious weak and alot of other things.NOT FAIR.Thats what my life is.

Hi.Im doing okay.Theres a couple ups and a ton of downs.But with Hashems help it will get better and i also feel it will.By the way 2 things.1.underneath my name it says dont let nothing stand in your way which is from a avraham fried song.How did that get there? 2.I have alot of diffent insecurities what should i do to get rid of them?also whats the story behind the name buisness1?

Thanks.what are thd goals that you want me to do?By the way have you ever seen rick lavois mashal with poker chips.If you didnt id suggest that you watch it.Right now i have a little poker chips.I want alot of them.I have to thbnk you so much for helping me through this difficult time buisness1 (and everyone else) Hashem should bentch you with a long happy healthy life.You dont know what it means not to feel so alone.Also i still think you should write a book.:)

I wrote a post before but it never got published.I wrote that i hated my height.I truly do.Most girls are taller than me and thats embarresing!I get comment very rarely about my height but when i do my self esteem goes crashing down and I feel like the dust on the bottom of my shoes.I feel like im going to marry a nebach because of all of this.Its not even fair.What did i do wrong to deserve this horrible stature. I feel so inferior to everyone.Im always looking like a foot up to speak to people.Aside for that whole thing my anxiety was great today.I relized the more i put myself into the situation the easier it was.Also today i told myself that i loved myself for enduring all these tough challenges.I really felt it then.

Im not constantly being bullied.Maybe once or twice a day.Now i realy want to take care of these issues.I am going to a therapist but officialy only for social anxiety.I would find it very hard to tell truthfully all my other issues to someone.And I feel some of my feelings are unhealthy and those are the hardest to say.Any thoughts? buisness1?

i was with my class today.i felt as usual realy akwerd and nervous.i relized that i cant start something by mysele i always bounce off s/o else.i dont know how to fix this and all my other problems.hopefuly il be aale to fix all this.

I need to have emunah.If i didnt i would fall apart much worse than now.knowing that hashem has a different mission for everyone is a comfert.hashdm is ein sof.the way my situation is right now it seems impossible.But if i connect to something thats higher than nature i know i can pull through.But honestly alot alot of times its hard to have emunah.Also the concept of hashgacha protis.meaning everything that happens is for the good.If it looks bad its still hidden good.Why did hashem create me with my problems my challenges?because he want everyones avodah to be on thier level.if he wanted a perfect world he wouldve created a world of malachim!.our perpose is to make a dwelling place for hashem in this physical world.now im writing all this but sometimes its very hard to belive and live by.

Thank you so much buisness1.hopefuly with hashems help it will get better.this summer im going to take care of all these problems im yirtzeh hashem.again thank you so much buisness1.

i had an okay day.the days that im with my class are worse because of the bullying.i dont even think they mean it all the time in a bad way but i take it all very personal.it shouldnt be this way but it is.im yirtze hashem it will get better.i had a slight question.why does hashem send people problems.mental health in particular if if the problems bring down their avodas hashem.ex. a confident outgoing person can acomplish much more than a shy persoo with a low esteem.and it could ae neither did any work to get them there.the shy guy has to work on himself just to reach the confidence of the second guy.and also serve hashem.the confident guy has it so much easier

im remembering 3 years ago.then like 5 kids used to make fun of me.sometimes they still do.im realy an easy target.shy small low sele esteem.everyone else had a great fun year while i had social anxiety and got bullied.i dont know why hashem lets some people have good lives and for others they just cant have fun make friends.its not fair that it is this way.im so scared when theres a few kids around and il join in or even walk by.these kids scarred me.even though it wasnt that odten but whenever i was around it always seemed like someone was exluding me or making fun of me.i am also having a hard time forgiving these kids for what they did.i feel like they deserve gehenom for what they did.i can remember in camp like 10 years i used to hit kids and one kid left early bec. of that.the thing is i hit them bec. i felt emety not to mane fun of them.it was weird and i never realy rememberd that until now.i was a very good kid at school.never hit.i dont think this is conected but whatever

im feeling depressed.im realy small and sometimes people bully me physicaly.not often but when they do it realy breaks my heart out.im a realy sensitive person.to noise to insults.i dont know what to do because it realy doesnt happen often and they dont realy hurt me just push me or stuff like that.its also only like 4 kids who do it .it makes me feel realy weak inside.where i am in yeshita working out is discoureged because it builds your ego.also im very sensitive to insults in general.sometimes kids younger than me will point out my shortness.i didnt pick this life

thanks to be or not to be and of course buisness1 and everyone else.now i dont realy have anyone to be in contact with.im realy scared to get close to someone because 1.too scared theyl reject me and 2.scared of how il feel towards them .im too scared that il become dependent on them