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kapustaParticipant
I think this came from Garden of Emunah: There are two types of people on a bus. One is constantly watching the driver, making sure hes going the right way, driving safely etc. The other is sitting with his nose in a book, not paying the least bit of attention to the driver. We’re going through this world, and Hashem is driving, we could do our own thing, and not worry, and trust that Hashem knows what Hes doing, and He’ll get us to the right place, or constantly do our own checking. At the end of the ride, both passengers end up where they started out going. One is just a nervous wreck.
December 8, 2010 11:33 pm at 11:33 pm in reply to: Charity — What's More Important? The Act or the Amount? #715797kapustaParticipantThis is only my opinion.
Just like a person needs to give ma’aser with his money, he needs to give with his time etc. That would mean a person should actually do a chessed by himself, not just pay someone who will do the chessed for him. Stories with gedolim lead me to believe a lot of tzedakah being given includes not only the actual money, but also the feeling a person has when giving it. Are you doing the mitzvah of giving tzedakah? Yes. But at the same time, maybe theres a way to do it a little better…?
My suggestion would be to leave the banking system in place but maybe stop the automatic tzedakah payments. Aside from not having to do most of the payments (which automatically is a plus), you get the chance to do this mitzvah in the optimal manner. The famous story with the Vilna Gaon’s wife is coming to mind.
Again, this is just my opinion.
kapustaParticipantI agree with aries. Just because we know they took the tune from somewhere shouldn’t make it any worse than a song people assume is original but isn’t really.
Plus, with over two million hits on youtube, how many non-frum Jews decided to light Menorah, or speak to a Rabbi, or even just thought a little about being Jewish.
kapustaParticipantSomeone told me a story of a family where a certain name was very popular, (I forgot what the exact name was but something like Devorah Leah). Everyone was called by the full name, Devorah Leah, but for “some” reason, one person decided to go with Devoiry instead of Devorah Leah for their daughter. It was interesting when they realized her chassans mother was named Leah.
kapustaParticipantSomeone told me a story of a family where a certain name was very popular, (I forgot what the exact name was but something like Devorah Leah). Everyone was called by the full name, Devorah Leah, but for “some” reason, one person decided to go with Devoiry instead of Devorah Leah for their daughter. It was interesting when they realized her chassans mother was named Leah.
December 7, 2010 7:09 am at 7:09 am in reply to: Yaakov Shwekey – Libi Bamizrach Album – Rau Banim #725190kapustaParticipantwhere did u find the lyrics?
CD jacket
Hey Kapusta! Thanks alot for the lyrics! God bless you! Shalom!
amen!! My pleasure 🙂
December 3, 2010 9:06 am at 9:06 am in reply to: Yaakov Shwekey – Libi Bamizrach Album – Rau Banim #725184kapustaParticipantNot sure if this is what you want, but here goes.
Lyrics:
Rau banim et gevurato
shebechu v’hodo lishmo
umalchuto b’ratzon kibelu aleihem
Moshe u’vnei Yisrael
l’cha anu shira
b’simcha rabbah
v’amru chulam
Mi kamocha b’ailim Hashem
mi kamocha nedar bakodesh
nora tehilot oseh fele
Translation:
The children (of Israel) saw His might, they praised and gave thanks to His name, and His kingship they willingly accepted upon themselves. Moshe and the children of Israel raised their voices to You in song with abundant gladness and they all said: “Who is like You among the mighty, Hashem?” Who is like You, mighty in holiness, awesome in praise, who works wonders.
I agree that its a great song.
kapustaParticipantJust because an office is run by what seems to be super frum, or is in a school with a very frum student body doesn’t make it ok. On the other side, just because a workplace is non-Jewish doesn’t make it automatically bad, (depending on the sort of workplace, how many other frum people work there, her position etc). Basically, don’t assume anything, do your homework.
kapustaParticipantIts no different than discussing the list of possibilities of why someone wasn’t accepted to a certain school, or why a potential shidduch didn’t work out. I’ve also heard these discussions and aside from it being pure lashon hara they only have negative effects. I was once in a smaller school (where teachers know all the students, even if they never taught them) where a teacher (not this childs teacher) said, “oh, so and so? shes so weird”. I know of another child who ended up with a bad reputation just from shmoozing his teachers did.
If anyone is in a position to institute some sort of shmiras halashon program in the teachers lounge in their school, it can help even one child, and yes, thats a big deal.
kapustaParticipantAnyone ever hear of Chevi Garfinkel?
A single speaker is not so common but I cant think of any reason why it shouldn’t be done. I’m sure there are lots of other people who feel the same, maybe look into setting up a blog or website of some sort.
kapustaParticipantYou actually answered your own question. Its NYC. A friend of mine told me she was driving in NYC (not in Brooklyn) and couldn’t stop laughing when people just crossed when they felt like it, regardless of there being a car speeding down the block. Everyone makes their own set of rules.
I do agree about using a blinker as often as possible, but I think its one of those things that are associated with new drivers and new drivers only. Its a shame because, as you say, it can literally save lives.
kapustaParticipantMany schools are set up in a way where academics is put on a pedestal, a play gives someone who isn’t a 100 student a chance to make a name for herself. I remember a certain teacher telling us that one year the play director gave someone a pretty big part and that completely changed the girl for the rest of high school. There is a tremendous amount of talent in the frum community that would go to waste if there was no kosher entertainment. Think of how many people have a parnassa from this. And how many schools raise money from productions they wouldn’t be able to raise otherwise.
kapustaParticipantI recently heard in a shiur that if one looks at todays generation and all the bad, he should also realize that we are in the time of Mashiach, and we are doing the last bit of kaparah before Mashiach can come, so everything is “stuffed” into a shorter time.
My life personally definitely strengthened my connection with Hashem. And I learned that someone could be going through something very hard and no one will know anything. Judging accomplishes nothing.
kapustaParticipantIts rather unfortunate that some people feel they need to sink so low and try to hurt someone else in order to bring themselves up. To anyone who had false rumors spread about them, hang in there. Hashem is the real judge and He controls everything. Rumors and nosy neighbors are nothing for Him to fix. He gives presents to the ones He loves best.
kapustaParticipantThe only thing I can add to your post is not to keep this mindset only for Chanukah, but any social event. Weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, Shul gatherings. The saying “a closed mouth gathers no feet” is a great motto.
Thanks for taking the time to post.
November 28, 2010 8:15 am at 8:15 am in reply to: Give Gentiles Presents During Their Holiday Time #724693kapustaParticipantI remember hearing somewhere that you should not give a non-Jew a gift on his holiday, and instead to give it on ours (as dvorak suggested). That way you’re safe.
kapustaParticipantI hope the latke police will not come after me for saying this, but a latke is basically a tiny fried potato kugel. Assuming you are an average home cook (that would be someone with no access to commercial sized tools/utensils) it might be worth stocking up on muffin trays (or mini muffin trays) and baking little kugels aka latkes. You might have to experiment a little with a recipe to get it more “latke-like”. Most kugels usually freeze well so if its packed properly it shouldn’t be a problem to freeze and reheat. I know some people add water to the mixture which keeps it from turning colors a little longer.
Good luck!
kapustaParticipantItcheSrulik: I meant to look at him, he looks yeshivish.
real-brisker: I called it working yeshivish. I dont go for the “if hes not learning ONLY, hes obviously not yeshivish” thing. Just because someone is not in Kollel doesn’t make him not frum. (Which some people seem to think unfortunately.)
kapustaParticipantThis is not a book, but its a shiur by Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky on dating and marriage. Definitely worth listening to.
kapustaParticipantIts very important to compliment, but only compliment if its authentic. Insincere flattery is assur and will likely achieve the opposite of what you are trying to accomplish.
Very true.
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An interesting thing, once a person becomes more of a “complimenting type”, it becomes more natural to look for good instead of bad.
kapustaParticipantI try to compliment often, a person has no idea how far a compliment can go.
aries, I’m jealous of the schar you got for that. If you happen to be in a bracha giving mood… 🙂
kapustaParticipantTo me, what some people are calling modern yeshivish means the same thing as working yeshivish. Someone who learned for a few years in Bais Medrash and then went out to get a job without leaving behind his yeshiva upbringing. He wears a hat on Shabbos and maybe during the week, tzitzis out. And he works. I’m not a shadchan or anything but I know plenty of people like that.
November 24, 2010 5:28 am at 5:28 am in reply to: Some important Halachos of Tefillah and pronunciation #1145676kapustaParticipantRegarding the first thing mentioned, and the pronunciation of Shem Hashem, last I checked a Cholam is pronounced as “oh”. If its ok for some to say Adoi instead of Ado, then why should Aduh be any different?
TIA
kapustaParticipantlike oif your Dr. told you if you dont quit today you will die tomorrow 100% you would see how easy it would be for you to quit cold turkey!
Disagree. How many smokers are on their deathbed and still go for another smoke?
kapustaParticipantOver dinner, I explained the health benefits of a colorful meal to my family. “The more colors, the more variety of nutrients,” I told them. Pointing to our food, I asked, “How many different colors do you see?”
“Six,” volunteered my daughter. “Seven if you count the burned parts.”
kapustaParticipantcoffeefan-
I know what a high pressure job is about and I really feel for you. If its on a daily basis, try to keep music on. Even subconsciously, it’ll keep you a little focused on something else and it will relax you somewhat.
-Another thing you might want to try, as crazy as it sounds, is laughing. Laugh to yourself at nothing, or (what I try to do sometimes) just think of whatever happened as one thing on a list of crazy things that happen (we all have our stories). Once you remove yourself a little from the situation, most things which started out as major sources of stress become things that are really funny. Imagine it happening to someone else (someone with a good attitude) and how they would react to the situation.
-If you can anticipate a situation, walk in and tell yourself “such and such will probably happen, but its ok. Its not gonna get to me.”
frumladygit-
For one second (and I mean one second), put the Emunah aside. Think about how much Hashem loves you. You, with any flaws, just because you are you! Think about that and really internalize it. And once you do that, the “how and why” goes away and in its place comes “You’ve been running my life perfectly until now, so why should I think You’re taking a break.” Believe it or not, even on a small scale (and I talk from experience), it helps.
And like you said, talk to Hashem. I think if people would actually talk to Him, just whenever, from the heart, there would be a lot less depression.
kapustaParticipantmyfriend, lol, I’m a LOT closer to 18 than eineklech age. I’m a second generation Mr. Ed fan.
kapustaParticipantminyan gal:
1 C. warm water
1 egg
1/3 C. oil
1/3 C. sugar
1 tsp salt
5 C. flour*
1 pkg dry yeast (2 tsp)
Beaten egg for the top.
Put in the ingredients as listed above (dont proof the yeast). It comes out slightly sweet, if you like it sweeter, you can add some sugar without a problem. I’ve baked it on varying temperatures, usually between 350-400. It doesn’t really come out like a bakery egg challah, the inside is more like a water challah. The longer you let it rise, the more yeasty taste it will have. I’ve let it rise in the fridge overnight and it has a pretty strong (but good!) flavor.
*I heard recently that there was a problem with flour, so sifting is definitely recommended. If you want to make this whole wheat, say the word and I’ll give you a run-through.
It makes 6 smallish bilkelach or 4 small-med challahs.
If you make it, please let me know how it comes out!
kapustaParticipantAll of us who understood ICOT are showing our age!!!
Oh Wilburrrrrrrrr……
Maybe most but not all 😉
kapustaParticipantCould the flour in any of these recipes be substituted for white whole wheat flour?
I’ve baked (not challah) in the past using white whole wheat and found it to have a bit of an aftertaste. I’ve gotten better results using a percentage of regular whole wheat flour instead of the entire recipe with WWW.
kapustaParticipantI have a very good one for a bread maker. If you’re interested, say the word.
(Its a small recipe)
kapustaParticipantI honestly hope this won’t come off sounding very cold, but I’m wondering what there is to do. I’m not from Chicago, and I know very little about the community in general but this is the way I see it. No one specifically planned that the cheaper hall would need repairs. Now that the more expensive one is the other option are they now supposed to lower their prices for the customers? For various reasons, thats not really practical. As for the idea, is there any area where its possible to do something temporary? Even a tent?! I understand where you’re coming from but this is something that could be solved with a some creativity.
One more thing, if there is any problem in Klal Yisrael, B”H its something like this.
kapustaParticipantAs long as some people here think kollel is worse than TV, I’m afraid not.
Dont you mean ‘as long as some people don’t realize not everyone is coming from the same place’…?
(And no, I don’t knock Kollel nor do I encourage TV.)
kapustaParticipantHelpful, QuestionForYou:
That is my point exactly. No one is saying its ok to eat pork, and no one is saying its ok to marry a non-Jew. Believe it or not, there are some things which some real rabbanim would say is completely muttar, and another rav will say its completely assur (ex: the eruv in a certain city). And if a real rav tells someone they can do something then no questions asked, they can do it. Even if a different rav says its a thousand percent assur.
On a separate note, I’m really honestly trying to understand the point of the name calling. Maybe its just me, but if I saw someone doing something that needed perfection, I wouldn’t bash them at every opportunity, I would rather show them (by example) that there is a better way to do it. I understand that no one (myself included) is perfect, but it seems to me that knocking everyone down doesn’t really accomplish anything.
kapustaParticipantAnd what does the S”A say about people who publicly promote (i.e. on this website) issurim m’doraysa (its happened many times especially in the area of arayos) and people who publicly legitimize doing aveiros?
I’m happy to know you’ve completely passed the Torah and went straight to Shulchan Aruch. And I’m happy you’ve conveniently forgotten about things like V’ahavta L’reiacha Kamocha and things like Shivim Panim LaTorah.
November 15, 2010 5:36 am at 5:36 am in reply to: Fathers and brothers dancing with the Kallah #709290kapustaParticipantPeople – please don’t bother aries with halachic references or halachic stuff. It is of no interest to her. Feelings take precedence. If it makes one feel good, it is okay with her, even if against halacha.
Now you went to far. Apparently you’ve decided your anonymous opinion on a forum (which I highly doubt anyone will take a psak Halacha from) is more important than derech eretz. If I were you, I would ask mechila. Now.
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Mods, I don’t see this thread going anywhere good. I, for one, think its time to close it.
Agreed
kapustaParticipantBe Happy, wow, BH!! SO nice to hear!! May Hashem grant you many, many happy, healthy years to come with much nachas from your entire family! May Hashem bentch all those awaiting a refuah a quick and easy one!
kapustaParticipantMazal Tov to the.nurse on her engagement!
May her and her chosson be zoche to build a Bayis Ne’eman B’yisroel with hatzlacha and bracha in every area!
November 12, 2010 3:58 am at 3:58 am in reply to: Fathers and brothers dancing with the Kallah #709247kapustaParticipantmyfriend, did I ever allow something forbidden? All I said was to get rid of the disgusting attitude that usually goes along with it. I am honestly embarrassed for people (both in the CR and not in the CR) who try to shove Yiddishkeit down everyones throat. This is not the way Kiruv organizations have become so (B”H!) successful. It gives me, who went to BY and grew up in a very frum house, a bad taste for Yiddishkeit. How much more so someone who was not able to have a frum upbringing.
kapustaParticipantyou’re going back here… um, maybe someone made a squeak-ish sort of comment… maybe, perhaps…?
November 11, 2010 10:39 pm at 10:39 pm in reply to: Fathers and brothers dancing with the Kallah #709233kapustaParticipantWIY:
I am not offended personally but I absolutely hate the (general) attitude toward people who are not the frumest of the frum. And for the people who are looking at the general attitude and saying “oh, well I can never do that anyway, and I’m already considered non-frum according to some people, so why bother with anything”, that offends me. I understand where you’re coming from and I support you in what you’re doing I just wish you would make it a little less stinging in some of your comments on the forum. Constructive, not destructive.
myfriend, I was not c’v taking an anti-Torah position. As you may have noticed, I didn’t comment on the issue being discussed. Just on the general very condescending attitude. Bring some proof that thats the way to make people better Jews.
November 11, 2010 9:18 pm at 9:18 pm in reply to: Fathers and brothers dancing with the Kallah #709214kapustaParticipantWIY
Member
SJS
Your definition of fun is not very Torahdig to say the least.
Neither is the attitude you seem to throw out at anyone a touch less frum than you.
You’re on a public forum, it might be time to take a step back.
kapustaParticipantYou’re right. To a certain extent, the regimented factor has taken over, especially in the NY area and for some reason this has become the norm. Its a very sad fact, and I have a feeling you are not the only one to feel this way. If its possible, even for a short time, make some connections in a smaller community, and visit or even consider moving there. Not only is it a away from NY, but its a chance to start over.
I told him “I want to one day want to be frum”
This might surprise you somewhat but to me it seems to me that day is now. Or maybe you really never lost that want. Disappointment just got in the way.
Why I think so? “Thoughout all of this I never cut all ties, I would still attend shuirim, still put on tephilin every day. I still managed to take off for the yamin noramim and other yamim tovinm.
The other tie I kept was checking this website, especially the coffee room. “
May you find happiness and fulfillment in your life.
And please, keep posting.
November 9, 2010 4:34 am at 4:34 am in reply to: How To Convince A Non Jew To Throw Out Their TV #707723kapustaParticipantI would show them Mayim Bialik’s latest article against watching TV.
SJS, not funny. I just read it and I kid you not, as I was reading it, I kept thinking how your type of article it is.
And I agree. Its a very good article, definitely worth reading.
kapustaParticipantmw13:
True. But on the flip side, no Rebbi or Menahel should consider accepting a student without first thinking long and hard whether they’d want him/her to be an influence their own child.
Disagree. I’ve met plenty of people who are not perfect. Does this make them bad people? Absolutely not. They are people who have different things that need fixing. I think this attitude of not having a middle ground, where a kid is either top or bottom, is a big influence on the whole OTD thing.
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The school has a responsibility. If the kids not to your liking, just send him back to the store and ask for another one?! Does the school have any loyalty to the parents who have been in their school for several years (and maybe paying full tuition)?! I heard from a certain (well known) mechanech who, before kicking a child out, sits down with the rebbeim until they find something good about the child to make sure its not the result of just being on everyones bad side. I’m not sure his thinking is so off.
On a separate note, when someone accepts a job as a rebbe in a school, he knows exactly what hes getting himself into. No one walks in with blinders and thinks hes getting a free ride. Teaching is not about reading material off a page of notes. Teaching is a talent. If you are not teacher material and you walk in knowing that, well good luck to you. Its a recipe for disaster.
WIY, are you a rebbe by any chance? (or closely related to one?)
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