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Cut into chunks. Then toss with olive oil, salt, paprika, garlic powder, black pepper. There’s also a good spice mixture thats tex-mex flavor. Bake at 400
Relief can help pay for cost of therapy
I never take the posts on YW seriously but I hope mine here will encourage someone to take action. A long time ago I suffered through terrible abuse. For many years I kept convincing myself that I did not need counseling even though I knew very well that anyone in my situation would definitely need help in dealing with it. I finally took the plunge recently and called Relief for a referral and I thank Hashem for giving me the courage to do it. I expended so much mental energy trying to maintain a “normal” life when inside I was hurt, heartbroken and confused. I spent years burying my raging emotions that needed to be released. Therapy is hard work and sometimes you may want to turn back but the inner peace you achieve by letting go of the secrets and confronting the shame is priceless.
I think I’ve heard there is maybe a problem with a girl horseback riding or is that baloney that somebody made up?
oomis- the Bais Yaakov girls where I grew up were not allowed to ride bikes or rollerblade to school. It was definitely considered not tznius. A lot of girls did not ride bikes or rollerblade at all in the street although a small minority did. Girls over 12 used to go bikeriding or rollerblading on specific bike trails that were more secluded. I am not sure what you mean by Yeshiva girls.
I don’t know how many of you have seen seminary girls in Israel. Very often they seem totally unaware of their surroundings and they don’t realize that it’s not camp they’re in but a city, the holiest city. They yell to friends through the windows of busses, they yell across busy streets, they exchange hugs and kisses on Kikar HaShabbat, I have many more examples that I witnessed. My point is that sometimes girls are unaware of their surroundings and also many girls are unaware of what problems they can cause for men. And please, nobody start bashing Bais Yaakovs now about how they should teach this stuff.
I still think that we should look differently than the Goyim. Doesn’t it say somewhere that although the Jews reached the lowest level of impurity in Egypt they did not change their mode of dress and that was one reason they were deserving of redemption?
oomis-I still feel like you did not give a straight answer to my question. What does the Rabbi wear out of shul and teaching?
I don’t get what you mean about how people dressed in Poland. When I asked some family members who lived during that time they told me that the assimilated Jews dressed like the Goyim and the frum ones did not. Did it do any good for the assimilated to look inconspicuous? They did not escape the hatred of the Nazis and their sympathizers.
SJS, your coworkers do not dress so formally out of the workplace, do they?
oomis, you did not answer my question
oomis- how does the Rabbi of your shul dress during the week? Black and white or colored shirt? We Jews are supposed to look different than the Goyim.
Please, I hope you guys are joking. Men have no choice about walking around outside but there are other places for entertainment other than arcades.
Ironically, I was at Chuck E. on Pesach. However, maybe it is true that it’s not a place to be on Chol Hamoed Pesach. Maybe if you are in a place where a hat and jacket look so incongruous, it’s not the attire that is a problem but the place you are at. An extreme example would be a movie theater. Sometimes there are a lot of non-Jews in CEC and maybe a hat and jacket type shouldn’t be there mixing with the goyim.
oomis- how many is an awful lot of men dressed in the so-called proper manner…? Although the numbers of such people are unfortunately growing it is still negligible. What about men who dress like your son? Are there none of them in unsavory places? There are bad apples in every lot.
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mine is related to my name
ames, I wrote a whole post arguing with you and then reread yours and understood what you meant. moish has to be willing to punish himself really strongly any time he gives in to temptation. I don’t know if anyone would do it but maybe it would work. Also, if there’s nobody else involved it’s hard to stick to it and actually carry through with the punishment. I think I would say this is the last time and NEXT time I’ll punish myself.
It seems that people posting here come from all types of backgrounds and it’s really nice that we have a place to share ideas with each other. This also means that each of us would have a very different aliya experience. In Israel, there are certain nuances that separate different streams within the Orthodox/Chareidi community. As an example, were I to make aliya I would want to live in one of the very chareidi neighborhoods in Yerushalayim. This means my experience would be very different from Zach’s or from MamashTakah.
Many people find it hard to understand that they didn’t have a clue that what they were doing was wrong. I personally think that they knew they were doing something not 100% kosher but did not know the severity of their crime or what it means to do something illegal in a forgein country which has a completely different judicial system. However I am sure they have done Teshuva by now.
Wasn’t this thread started by someone who wanted to change a bad habit? I think he wants to change but was hoping for an easy way which of course thre isn’t.
good question moish. ask it at the seder!
kapusta- if cookies were the problem the treadmill would be a great idea. For some bad habits however, the solution is just will power, there’s no getting around it.
moish- you might not be doing too well on the davening front but someone is definitely praying on your behalf! All these ppl in the CR keep thinking up new ideas to help you. Just think, if there was no CR you wouldn’t have all these ppl caring abt you.
ames- if you see a need for initiative in some specific area then go for it. But if you feel like you’re wasting your talents but don’t know where to invest them, I say wait for the opportunity to present itself. People who do the “big” stuff usually find themselves in a situation where something big needs to be done and they take the opportunity to use the talents they were blessed with. I don’t think there is a way of searching out such things. In the meantime, whatever fills your days now, strive to do in the best way you can.
SAS- you’re a good man. You are definitely right. It’s funny because I thought my Emuna was pretty good but I guess not as good as yours.
ames, kapusta- I think I’d also have a hard time punishing myself. I would definitely feel very bad about what I did and for not having self control. I think that’s kind of like a punishment, the bad feeling afterwards. It sounds like moish is not happy about his habit otherwise he wouldn’t have asked.
SAS- I watched the video but these stories seem so distant and far-fetched that it’s hard to translate into something for your own life.
ditto for all IMH just posted. that sums me up too.
tzippi- look around are most newly married women “unhealthy supermodel” looking? Yes every guy wants a good looking girl but once he goes out with a girl his opinion of her looks definitely gets colored by her personality, which is a good thing. I don’ think that all the guys not marrying “supermodels” think that they are settling for less than what they want in looks. If that were so we would have big troubles!
ames- we hear about all the big heroes of the world and specifically Klal Yisrael but the vast majority of us don’t have a role to play in the limelight. An old friend of mine used to say exactly what you’re saying but I disagree. We all have to complete the specific tikkun that our neshama needs and that usually means living your life the way a Jew should. We should think in all our relationships including with Hashem are we acting properly. And am I constantly trying to grow in my commitment to mitzvos? Most of us are not meant to be the Chofetz Chaim or Sara Schenirer who both had a tremendous impact on all religious Jews.
In Parshas Nitzavim 29:18 the Ramban quotes the Gemara in Sukka 52 and explains as follows in regard to going after ones negative desires. The more you “eat” the hungrier you get. The Gemara says “Masbiyo Raeiv, mar’eevo soveya” which means satisfying your hunger will make you hungrier, and starving your “hunger” will keep you full(satisfied).The Ramban goes on to explain that giving in to your desires will eventually lead you to desire that which you never desired before. Unfortunately I have seen firsthand that this is 100% true- not that the Ramban needs me to vouch for his words.
HOWEVER, nobody should ever write themselves off as hopeless because one definitely can overcome it no matter if you slipped a few times. Hashem doesn’t ask us for the impossible.
aussie- postsem can have a similar struggle to moish
moish, no need to change your whole life although it would make things easier. Use methods mentioned above for when you are face to face with the challenge.
kapusta-what?!
moish, you said that your whole life is “one bored waste of time”. Well such a situation gives rise to the problem you’re struggling with. I think SAS had good tactics but it seems like you feel your problem is too big for those ideas. But as many posters have said there is NO easy way. Try to limit your exposure to cookies and when you feel the problem starting use the methods mentioned- distraction, leave wherever you are, remind yourself how bad you’ll feel after…(maybe I am way off base and am thinking of the wrong issue, but I don’t think so)
areivim, may I know what ‘the book’ is?
Garbanzo Salad
Can of chickpeas
Can of kidney beans
red pepper
purple onion diced
vinaigrette dressing
or you crash every once in a while- which could be worse.
why is it worse? to give in once in a while is nto good but certainly better than all the time.
V
moish I don’t know why you started this whole thing in the first place. You don’t seem too naive. I think you know how to avoid your bad habits but you’re in the worst possible situation to work on it.
there’s no magic trick. in general, keep yourself busy. boredom breeds these “habits”. specifically, when you see it coming pick yourself up before it’s too late and go outside or someplace where there are people so you’ll be distracted. the only way to see success is by keeping your mind occupied with healthy thoughts and if you start slipping you need tremendous willpower not to allow yourself to do the thing you want to avoid.
i have suffered from a similar problem and overcome it for a long time only to slip again. that’s the way these things are. but if something is wong/assur it means we have the ability to control ourselves.