Once you refuse an order, the army falls part, and you might as well surrender now.

Volvie, I disagree. Nobody SHOULD do excessive drinking. I define excessive drinking as drinking which causes the drinker to be mevatel mitzvos asey deoraysah. Volvie, there is also no shita to drink the night before (when many bochurim get drunk). Volvie, do you agree that any bochur who is mevatel mitzvos asey deoraysah is NOT being makayem a mitzvah, as the mitzvah derabanan of drinking on Purim is NOT doche mitzvos deoraysah?

I drink plenty on Purim- Grey Goose, as per the psak of my rav that any mashkeh is acceptable. but I am also mekayem the mitzvos deoraysah, as per the mishna brurah. Those who don’t are drinking excessively. Those who drink themselves to the point of alcohol poisoning are also doing an aveirah.

The government is oveir issurim regularly. It is a secular government run by those who aren’t shomrei torah umitzvos. however, the soldiers are protecting yidden. Soldiers MUST follow every order given, or the army falls apart, and it puts jewish lives in danger.

Why are they mutually exclusive? Halacha and seichel is against both. Who here is bigger than the roshei yeshiva who signed on the kol koreis, or bigger than Rav shmuel Kaminetzky shlit”a, or bgger than the poskim who say not to be mevatel krias shema, bentching and maariv? And who here knows more than the hatzala members if it’s a sakanah or not?

Joseph, the mishna brurah clearly states that one who gets drunk to the point of missing tefillos, bentching and krias shema is NOT fulfilling a mitzvah. Furthermore, one who makes a chillul Hashem by drinking is not fulfilling a mitzvah. Are you arguing on those points?

This is a question of prishus, not of halacha, and is not the type of subject to be discussed on a public forum. If you are on the madreiga to limit your foods to simple foods, go for it. but don’t ban others who are not on your madreiga.

What IS assur is all-you-can-eat, which, according to the Ramban, is a violation of Kedoshim tihyu.

Does anyone hold it’s a mitzvah to be mevatel tefilla betzibbur, bentchig, and zman krias shema, even on Purim? I have yet to see a source who holds that.

I have a relative who was in a Nevorodok yeshiva in Poland in his youth. He said they banned drinking there on Purim.

I saw this article tonight, explaining why arranged marriages are much smarter than today’s system where people meet until they fall in love:

What if Shakespeare had it wrong about love in “Romeo and Juliet”? In fact, what if all of us have it wrong and our ideals of love and romance are hopelessly awry? Although we are supposed to be celebrating our love for that special someone on Valentine’s Day, perhaps the time has come to reconsider the concept of romantic love, at least as it has been conceived in Western societies.

As we busily track down red roses, the best chocolates and the finest champagnes, we need to ask whether, in the pursuit of the perfect romance, we haven’t declared war on true love. Cupid’s arrow does strike often, but with the U.S. divorce rate near 50%, one has to wonder whether the wound is particularly deep or long-lasting.

As I found when researching my book on the science of human attraction, our typical romantic beliefs are quite often wrong. For instance, even couples who are blissfully happy together can’t count on a happy ending. The PAIR project, a long-term academic study of couples, found that those most in love when they marry are also the most likely to get divorced.

And the chemical attraction that many people rely on to choose a partner has been found to fade “to neutrality” in two to three years. That’s right, neutrality, which might work well for Switzerland but is deadly for a marriage.

Perhaps most damning of all, I discovered that wife murderers tend to be strong subscribers to the romantic ideal. Take that, Romeo and Juliet.

Love and romance did not always rule the roost. As recently as the 1930s, American men ranked mutual attraction as only the fourth most important quality for a relationship, while women had it even lower, placing it fifth (in a 1956 survey, women dropped it all the way to sixth). But in recent decades, love has climbed to No. 1, accompanied by a rise in the importance of looks, which suggests that our romance with romance is long on style and short on substance.

I hate to sound unromantic on this day of all days, but perhaps it’s time to place less emphasis on romantic attraction as the key to finding a partner. What can shoulder some of the load? I would suggest that we rely a little more on what science has discovered about human attraction.

For instance, some researchers can now predict whether a couple will stay together with far more accuracy than the couple themselves. And it has less to do with the things we might think, such as fighting, and far more to do with the things we take for granted, such as asking your spouse about his or her day.

That doesn’t mean we need to jettison every aspect of chemical attraction. Several studies have found that for women, a man’s body odor is a helpful guide to finding a good genetic match (but only if the woman is not taking an oral contraceptive, which reverses her usual smell preferences). Body odor doesn’t sound very romantic, but perhaps the better question to ask is: How did our narrow ideal of romantic love come to hold such complete sway in the first place?

Imagine a dating world turned on its head, in which people were not given the freedom to opt into or out of a relationship — such as a culture that practices arranged marriages. What researchers have found will be shocking to Westerners weaned on the idea of romantic love.

According to a 1982 study by two Indian researchers, the level of self-reported love in arranged marriages increased over time until they surpassed the level of self-reported love in marriages that were freely chosen. Incredible as it sounds, people with a very limited say in choosing their own spouses eventually became happier with their relationships than people with the freedom to choose anyone they wanted.

Although we almost always read “Romeo and Juliet” as the quintessential story of love at first sight,Shakespeare actually offered his own sly critique of romantic love at the beginning of the play. Romeo is pining away for love — but not for Juliet. There is another fair damsel who has rejected Romeo’s advances, and he declares himself inconsolable. He disdains finding someone else and tells Benvolio, “Thou canst not teach me to forget” — which is, of course, precisely what happens a few scenes later when Romeo meets Juliet and realizes that he was completely wrong before and only now has discovered true love.

We never remember that part of the story, though, because if we think of “Romeo and Juliet” from that perspective, the whole play starts to skew in ways that contradict our usual romantic notions.

Perhaps the time has come for us to take a skeptical view of romance, particularly the over-the-top variety peddled so effectively on Valentine’s Day. We should throw off the shackles of our reigning romantic orthodoxy and realize that “Romeo and Juliet” and its many cultural offspring have led us astray. Shakespeare’s story may be transcendent entertainment, but it is disastrous dating advice.

Marry a learning boy who will later work when the money runs out.

Limit the shabbos nap to 1 hour, then learn. fiber pills motza’ei shabbos help too.

Who is relied upon when you have a goyishe babysitter or cleaning lady with no checking up other than a stern “don’t use the kictchen” warning, and both husband and wife reliably out of the house all day?

It’s a rhetorical question, of course. Halachically goyim have no mirsas so your house is treif. Same with the store.

Mraven, you meant to say that it’s not Rabbi Harris’ choice, but he tolerates it. A difference of degree from them being mechallelei shabbos, but not of essence.

There are plenty of boys with issues too. That is why many older girls prefer to marry divorced guys rather than the older single men, who they perceive as damaged goods.

And as i said earlier, a mediocre employee has a much easier time landing a job in a boom economy then in a steep recession. Many times, the boys with issues are taken anyway. If the magazine rack is full, you go for the nicest copy. if the rack is down to one tattered magazine, you take that tattered magazine.

mRaven, are you actually comparing someone learning in a yeshiva with 6,000 talmidim to a mechalel shabbos? Does Rabbi Harris Shlit”a really view his children in Lakewood as mechallelei Shabbos?

Whynotme, whatever the truth is about Chofetz Chaim, you have to be happy where you are. It sounds like you aren’t happy there, and perhaps you will learn better where you’re happier. Rabbi Dovid Harris Shlit”a has his kids in Lakewood, so clearly he believes there’s learning outside of Chofetz Chaim.

AZ, there is a tremendous DIVORCE problem as well. The system works for 2 people, and then their marriage fails them. Eliminating problems holding people back from committing or staying successfully married is also a good thing. you solution will not solve that.

Squeak, meine Bundisteshe kroyvim zeinen a sach tzu freeden fun dein post!

Hub ic gehert a gevaldikke meiseh. a gadol hut gevein bei Rav Moshe Feinstein ZT”l mit zein rebbetzin far a din toyrah. Der gadol hut gevil redden loshon hakodesh lekavod shabbos, ubber zein rebbetzin geredt nor yiddish. (Der gadol hut gevein in yeshiva biz shabbos). Rav Moshe zt” hut gepaskend az der gadol is Mechuyav tzu redden een Yiddish far shabbos!

Can one of you Nach experts please let us know where in Koheles Shlomo Hamelech says not to cry for the good ole’ days? Thanks.

The age gap means there are more boys than girls. The issues issue means that the girls who are left may have more issues than the ones taken. Neither contradicts the other, and neither holds the answer to all the problems. As the goyim like to say, when you’re holding a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.

I knew a Sroyah. I know 2 Neryas. Both are obscure nevi’im in Tanach.

I know of a lot of little girls called “sheifeleh”. It’s short for “mechasheifelah”… 🙂

Meidad- Meidad Tasa has that name. Good voice.

The Elyakim in Tanach was renamed Yehoyakim by the Egyptian Pharoah, if I recall correctly. Not a tzadik, but a good name. Same with Yehudis, the popular Jewish-sounding name, originally of the wife of Eisav!

I once read that Nimrod became popular due to the “Canaanite” movement of the early secular Zionists. Anat is also the name of a Canaanite Avodah Zarah.

This is a “zeh vezeh goreim”. Lemashal, a mediocre person has a much easier time getting a job at 4% unemployement than at 10% unemployment. With the inbalance in the shidduch dating numbers, the girls who haven’t found their bashert need to invest effort to figure out what is going wrong, and what they can do to solve it.I’m married because a veteran shadchan pointed out to my wife that her complaints about me were the kind coming from girls 10 years older, meaning the nonsensical issues that help make older singles older singles. Of course there is a shidduch crisis. But many times, there is a reason why the remaining ones are there. Shaya Ostrov writes in his book on shidduchim that many people say they haven’t met the right one. Many times, the right one they haven’t met is themselves. working on oneself can turn mediocre people into good people and good people into great people. Shidduch crisis or no shidduch crisis, I’m not sure why people are opposed to recommending self-improvement to older singles. We have no problem recommending refresher courses and skills improvement to the unemployed. Why not do the same to the unmarried?

Admittedly, it’s much easier to blame the system than to admit that you are human with areas of weakness. That is why what these girls are doing is so courageous and laudable.

These mod numbers are getting to be like Yankee uniform numbers- time to take some out of retirement!

My favorite common Biblical name is Yehudis. She was the wife of Eisav.

Klal yisroel have been using goyishe names in galus for years. Most yiddish names started life as german names. The sephardim have rabbeinu vidal and others. Our gemara has rabbi eliezer ben hyrkenos, nicanor who donated the copper doors, symmechos, etc.