Joseph

Forum Replies Created

Viewing 50 posts - 251 through 300 (of 3,685 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • in reply to: Kollel – Talmud Torah Kneged Kulam #1177487
    Joseph
    Participant

    KOLLEL – A HIGHER LEVEL

    That’s why all this talk about those able to learn all day being an “exception to the rule” misses the point.

    Not everyone will become Moshe Rabbeinu, to be sure, but everyone should try to come as close as they can. And everyone admits that being Moshe Rabbeinu is something to look up to, strive for, and admire. Even if most of us don’t ever make it there.

    So too even if many people will not learn all day, we all must recognize that it is certainly a higher level, it is a prize and privilege and merit that we should all try to attain, since it provides us with a higher spiritual level, and reaching the highest level possible in this world is our goal.

    Today, thank G-d we live in a society where many, many people can learn all day. They recognize, BH, that learning Torah is better for your soul than practicing law. Or accounting. Or writing software. No question about it.

    The point is the values, not the behavior. Behavior represents Jews; the values represent Judaism. To say that not everyone will reach the high level of learning all day is acceptable. But to say that isn’t a higher level, is changing the Torah’s values. Talmud Torah Kneged Kulam. And that includes every second of learning.

    in reply to: Kollel – Talmud Torah Kneged Kulam #1177486
    Joseph
    Participant

    THE WORKPLACE

    The workplace, even frum workplaces, is not a place for a good Jewish boy. We have to be there, granted; we have to make a living for our families – which is a Mitzvah in itself – but we need to realize the price we pay for those necessities.

    There is a story in the mussar seforim, about a man who had a premonition that next year’s crops would be poisoned, so that whoever would eat it would become insane. He didn’t; know what to do — if he would eat the crops he’d become insane, but if he does not eat the crops, the whole world will be insane except him, and being the only normal one in an insane world is just as bad as being insane. Warning people about the crops is useless because nobody would believe him anyway. So he went ot the village wise man who told him, “You have to eat the crops. You’re right – that being the only normal person in an insane world is as bad as being insane. Plus it will drive you crazy anyway. But here’s what you do:

    “Tie a string around your finger to remind yourself constantly that you have eaten from the crops and you are insane. Being insane is bad, but in this case you have no choice. However, for the rest of the world, much worse than being insane is the fact that they will think they’re normal. Being insane is bad, but being insane thinking you’re normal is much worse. So tie a string around your finger which will always remind you that you are insane. You’ll be insane, but at least you’ll know you’re insane. Everyone else will think they’re normal, so you’ll be much much better off than the rest.”

    The nimshal is, there’s nothing wrong with going to work, and often it may even be a necessity. But to spend the gift of life that Hashem gives us for such a short time in this world selling cars or programming computers or whatever we need to do to make a living, is insane. It may be necessary, but it’s still insane. We have so little to live in this world (we should all live to 120 years, but compared to eternity in the afterlife, 120 years is nothing), and its our only chance to collect Torah and Mitzvos — how crazy is it to busy ourselves with other things??

    But we have to? OK, we have to. At the very least, let us realize that we do so out of necessity and that making a living necessitates our leading a life which, when you consider what we’re on this world for and the opportunities that exist ONLY while we are here, is insane. Let’s at least realize that.

    For those who learn all day, they may not need to tie strings around their fingers, but, unfortunately, in the materialistic and confused world that we live in, they need posts such as this one, to constantly remind them that their lives are very, very normal, sane, and healthy.

    The hardships of Kolel are nothing compared to the pleasures. Like Rav Aharon ZT’L said – that those who support learning might get Olam Habah like those who learn, but they surely don’t get Olam Hazeh like them. Money isn’t everything – even in Olam Hazeh.

    in reply to: Kollel – Talmud Torah Kneged Kulam #1177485
    Joseph
    Participant

    Sitting and learning all day is the ideal. “Talmud Torah kneged kulam.” Chazal say, one word of Torah is higher than an entire lifetime of doing these Mitzvos. Chazal often mention that Toroso Umnoso is the ideal, that we do nothing all day but learn. Nowadays poskim say that w cannot reach that level, but clearly the closer the better. Also, Shulchan Aruch Hilchos Toalmud Torah, in the Shach ad loc, says that nowadays learning all day is the ideal, and that if someone has the ability to do it, he should. The Shach adds that regarding learning all day in general, nowadays we cannot reach our potential in learning the way the Rambam etc. did, since we are not on that level. Therefore, we should learn all day if we can.

    The Rambam writes that a “working person” is someone who learns 8 hours a day and works 3. Not works 9am to 5pm.

    A few other falsehoods that need responding:

    1) All Chazals, such as Im ain kemach ain torah, just means that if you have no food, you cannot learn. Other Chazals say that if you have no food and you try to learn anyway, you will end up having to steal to eat, and what good is that. None of this has anything to do with Kollel. If you are supported by your parents, in laws, Yeshiva, or wife, you are not in a situation where you have to steal, and you have fulfilled the Chazal.

    2) All Chazals that encourage people to work are also fulfilled by our Kollel people, and only exclude someone who has no means of support. Learning in Kollel is 100% a legitimate parnasa. If I become a baseball player and I have people pay to watch me play ball, that’s OK, but if I become a scholar and have people pay me to learn – that’s not?? If I got a job in a think-tank thinking of stuff all day, that’s wonderful – but if I get a job in Kollel thinking of Chidushei Torah that’s not?? Why should learning be any less? B’H today we have people who specifically want to support Kollelim, similar to Yissachar-Zevulun. If I were hired by these people to dance for them, I would be considered having a job. And it is no worse if they hire more to learn and provide them with Olam Habah instead of entertainment.

    The exhortations in Chazal against being unemployed refer to those who have nobody who wants to pay them for anything, and are forced to take money form what was designated for the poor, which they do not have to be if they would get a job. But Kollel is not Tzedakah for aniyim. There is a big difference. Kollel support is support in return for learning. Tzedakah is support in return for nothing. As long as I am earning your support – regardless of whether it is through defending you in court or learning Choshen Mishpat – I am employed.

    None of this “living off tzedakah” material has anything to do with kollel people. This is a common error. Tzedakah means that I give you money for no other reason that you need it – I do not demand anything in return for my donation. If I do demand something in return for my donation, it is not a donation but payment for services rendered. So if I pay you to entertain me, to be my personal trainer, to sing and dance for me, to be my baby sitter, I am not a baby sitter living off charity, but rather a paid worker. And so the statements about people living off tzedakah refer to people who are given money because they are poor, with no expectation from the donor that they learn, or work, or sleep, or do whatever they want. However, if someone gives money to you because he wants to merit the zechus of supporting Torah, and expects you to learn Torah because that is what he is supporting you to do, then that is not tzedakah at all but rather a simple business deal, the same as if I pay you to play baseball.

    If I give you tzedakah money because you are poor, and you sit home all day watching television, then you may be an unproductive member of society but you are not a thief – I gave you tezdakah for food, and you are spending it on food. It was my choice to do that. But if I give you money to learn in Kollel and you stay home all day watching TV then you are a thief, because you took money specifically to learn and you did not keep your end of the bargain.

    Thus, taking money for learning in Kollel is NOT living of tzedakah. Since I, the recipient, must provide something in return for payment received, that is a simple business deal. If I do NOT have to provide anything in return for payment received, that is Tzedakah. Since Kollel people must learn Torah in return for the payments they receive, they are NOT living at all off Tzedakah. Not any more than any person who renders services for payment received.

    (As an aside, incidentally and for the record, the Halachah is that you are nowadays ALLOWED to live off Tzedakah to learn (see the Ramah and Shach in Hilchos Talmud Torah).

    Regarding maaser – The maaser goes to the Yeshiva. The Yeshiva pays the Kollel. The Maaser is only going to them in return for and under the condition that they learn. This is not living off Tzedakah. This is a receipt of money in exchange for doing something, which is not the same as living off Tzadakah. This is providing a service that is considered valuable to those who provide the payment. it is no different than a singer getting money to sing or a baseball player getting money to play. The fact that you are allowed to use your maaser to support these fellows is no different than the fact that you are allowed to use your maaser to support Tzedakah organizations that pay fundraisers, administrators and other workers. Maaser is not the same as Tzedakah. Nobody would consider the head of Hatzolah as someone who “lives off tzedakah” even though he is paid through donations given to the organization. The same thing applies to someone who learns, and because he learns, is supported by whatever source, including maaser.

    3) There is an obligation on every Jew to become as great in Torah as he is able. There is also an obligation to not steal, or not to put yourself in a situation where you will have to steal. Or to make sure the Torah scholars live respectfully and not as beggars. The ideal situation is to have both.

    But the standard of livelihood required is bare minimum. “Kach hi darkah shel torah – pas b’melach tochal etc.” — Bread salt and water – if you have that, you have parnasah. The Rambam writes that a typical Baal Habayis works 3 hours a day and learns 8.

    This is what a “working person” is. Three hours a day. 8 hours learning.

    What in the world does that have to do with today’s working man’s lifestyle where he works 8 hours a day and almost never even learns 3? It proves nothing that Chazal endorsed working, since working in those days meant learning 8 hours a day.

    4) The Rambam praises those who learn all day and don’t have jobs, as the elite “Shevet Levi” of our days. Clearly, even if working is endorsed, it is inferior to those who learn. To reconcile the Rambam with your Chazals, you can choose any of the commentaries available, some of which explain it similar to above.

    5) If learning in Kollel is against the Chazals about Melachah and Derech Eretz, then so is being a Rebbi or a Rav. See the Rama YD 246:6. He brings your Chazals and says that therefore nobody can be a paid Rebbi or a Rav either, since he relies on the congregation. But then he brings dissenting opinions, and rules that the custom is that Torah scholars do benefit from their learning, by support from the community.

    Then he brings other opinions that the community should support its Torah scholars even to the point of affluence.

    The Rama then says it is a Midas Chasidus – praiseworthy – for someone who can become a Gadol B’Torah and make an independent living, but continues that not everyone is capable of this. It is clear that he is saying that if you have a choice between becoming a Godol B’Torah or making a living, becoming a Godol B’Torah comes first.

    The Shach on the spot points out that the Halacha always follows the Minhag and the Minhag is like those opinions that one may depend on the community to support him in order to learn. He says that this is because of the Halachah of Ais La’Asos, meaning, even if it is theoretically prohibited to rely on the community, but because nowadays we cannot do both, become great in Torah and make independent livings, the right thing to do is to learn Torah and be supported.

    He continues by saying that if someone spreads Torah and spends all his time learning and teaching, even if he has a skill with which to make a living, it would be wrong of him not to allow the community to support him, since this way he would be able to spend his time learning and teaching, rather than working.

    See, its very nice to make an independent living, but it is more important to become a Godol B’Torah. If you cant have both, then Torah is the right choice. Whatever advantages there is in making money, they do not come close to those of becoming a great Torah scholar.

    in reply to: Kollel – Talmud Torah Kneged Kulam #1177484
    Joseph
    Participant

    WHAT TO EXPECT OF YOUR HUSBAND

    Please note: You are not going to marry Reb Chaim Shmuelevitz. You are going to marry a guy. He may be a Kollel guy, but a guy nonetheless. 22, 23 years old guys are not finished products. He will not talk, walk, think, or behave like Reb Chaim Shmuelevitz. He may come late to shachris. That is not a sign that he is “not cut out for Kollel”, nor is it a sign that he is a “faker”. Your Kollel husband may be a struggling human being just like you or anybody else. The Shiva yipol tzdik v’kam principal will apply to him to. Your job is to give this raw diamond the encouragement, support, and help him grow into the great person that he can be.

    You are not his Mashgiach. You are his helper. There is no third role. It’s either “ezer” – a helper, or “kenegdo” – an opponent. You are one or the other. Guys need wives to help them grow, to get them through their struggles, to pick them up when they fall, to encourage them and believe in them. Not to be their mothers or mashgichim or supervisors.

    If every yeshiva guy that came late to davening, or shmoozed with his chavrusa now and then in the middle of seder, or wasn’t the biggest masmid in the world was made to leave Yeshiva, you would have many of today’s Roshei Yeshiva, Rabbanim, Rebbeim, and Talmidei Chachamim, doing computers or something. You cannot predict the final outcome of a person based on a minute-to-minute assessment of how precise he is about being where hes supposed to be on time or the length of time he spends in Yeshiva without going to the coffee room.

    There are other yardsticks, which are much more meaningful when judging the odds of a young man becoming great. These go more in the direction of the intensity of his thirst for learning, his desire to become great, his valuing of greatness and his commitment to pursue it. His values and dreams and desires are, at that point in his life, more telling than his attendance records.

    Girls tend to assess their husbands in terms of discipline; the husbands assess themselves based on their growth, which may or may not be proportionate to their discipline.

    And the husbands were taught all their life to assess themselves like that, because that is how their Rebbeim assessed them – in terms of potential and commitment and desire.

    The goal of a Kolel man is to grow and become the biggest Talmid Chacham he can. Often, husbands and wives are not on the same page regarding what is considered vital to that endeavor, at least while someone is in his growing stages.

    Girls often think that (a) their husbands are already complete products when they are just married and (b) they assess their husband’s value as a Ben Torah by their discipline, which is just one small ingredient in the recipe.

    The first thing to know is, you are not marrying Reb Chaim Shmuelevitz. The second thing is, even Rebitzen Shmuelevitz didn’t marry Reb Chaim Shmuelevitz. It takes many many years to become R. Chaim Shmuelevitz. He struggled too. We all do.

    Rav Hutner’s letter describing how it is sad that we don’t realize how much our Gedolim struggled to become Gedolim, and in how many battles the Yetzer Horah defeated the Chofetz chaim, for instance, before he became the Chofetz Chaim, also applies to young men in Kollel. Or, more accurately, young guys in Kollel.

    One of the reasons for this disconnect between the girls’ ideas of what Bnei Torah should be versus the Bnei Torahs’ ideas, is that girls go to school where they have role models, and they tend to think that the boys’ role models are kind of male versions of their own. So for instance, they figure they know of a big rebitzen, and they figure a Rosh Yeshiva is a male version of their rebitzens. But it’s not so. The Rebitzen, no matter how old and wise and talented she is, received her formal Judaic training in high school and a year or 2 of seminary. Full time education for women does not go beyond that. And that is altogether not a problem – women have the responsibility of raising a family and learning is not their full time job. Fine. But we must understand that creating a role model for Yeshiva guys — a Rosh Yeshiva — takes years and years and years of hard work, in Yeshiva, going to Shiurim, learning b’chavrusa, full time, and more.

    So when a girl is married to a guy with a few years Bais Medrash experience under his belt, she sometimes thinks that he’s already supposed to be a big role model, like her rebitzens. But it doesn’t work that way. The trajectory that guys follow to greatness is sooooo different than that of girls. And if you want to be able to understand where your guy is coming from, you need to know his path to growth.

    Guys use completely different benchmarks of success and growth than girls do. And if you’re using a girls standards on a guy, its like measuring a liquid in inches or distance by the pound. Sadly so many guys are being labeled as “fakers” or “not cut out for learning” by their wives simply because they did not know how to assess what it takes to be “cut out for learning”.

    in reply to: 20 Years Old. Is That Old?? #662097
    Joseph
    Participant

    Jax – Are you over the hill too?

    in reply to: Help Me Find The Good #662627
    Joseph
    Participant

    “Joseph, do you think there is any good in me? LOL”

    Yes, yes, most certainly! I see much of it.

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #680818
    Joseph
    Participant

    Shadchanim are halachicly entitled to collect a fee. IOW you are halachicly obligated to pay the shadchan a fair market fee for his services (unless he agrees to waive it.) See Rama C.M. 87:39 and 185:10. Doesn’t matter if he is a part-time, full-time, volunteer, etc. shadchan. (Beiur HaGra, ibid. and Teshuvos M’harash Engel 3:15.)

    Also see Ketzos HaShulchan 107:8; Kaf ha-Chayim 306:50; Erech Shai E.H. 50; Reb Akiva Eiger C.M. 185.

    in reply to: Help Me Find The Good #662621
    Joseph
    Participant

    Pashuteh, I always held there had to be some good in you. 🙂

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #680801
    Joseph
    Participant

    …and include which neighborhood you are referring too (of course).

    in reply to: Tznius #662438
    Joseph
    Participant

    “The dor hamabul was destroyed not because of tznius issues, although it was rampant”

    cherrybim:

    The Gemorah in Shabbos 62b says that a reason for the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash was women used excessive cosmetics, and that a women should care about her appearance only to the extent of not being repulsive to her husband.

    in reply to: Mods? Mods? #1107779
    Joseph
    Participant

    Twenty Six.

    in reply to: Inspiring Quotes #1084712
    Joseph
    Participant

    ames: But what was amazing was you came up with it on your own; you found out afterwards it also came from HaRav Miller ZT’L.

    in reply to: Labels – How Do You See Yourself? How Do Others See You? #662603
    Joseph
    Participant

    Wolf: A joke.

    in reply to: Help Me Find The Good #662610
    Joseph
    Participant

    There is good all over the place.

    in reply to: Kollel Chatzos Operating In Boro Park Area? #669531
    Joseph
    Participant

    Torah.

    in reply to: 20 Years Old. Is That Old?? #662083
    Joseph
    Participant

    In other circles, the boys and girls start fretting at 16.

    in reply to: Labels – How Do You See Yourself? How Do Others See You? #662598
    Joseph
    Participant

    Sheigetz Aross!

    in reply to: Random Questions #1081468
    Joseph
    Participant

    NY Mom – Off to the CR Detention Room you go.

    in reply to: 20 Years Old. Is That Old?? #662081
    Joseph
    Participant

    The original definition of the “Shidduch Crisis” was the fact that people were getting married later (i.e. older).

    I’m just pointing out how definitions change.

    in reply to: Ban Against Texting #662135
    Joseph
    Participant

    jphone makes the point well.

    in reply to: Modern Orthodox Judaism #663603
    Joseph
    Participant

    starwolf:

    I’ve addressed that canard about discouraging Jews to leave Europe in many threads on YW. Before slandering Rabbonim, search through the YW archives, and you will find them discussed in the appropriate threads.

    in reply to: Tznius #662381
    Joseph
    Participant

    NY Mom – You gave the perfect response.

    in reply to: College, Secular Studies & Judaism #1169543
    Joseph
    Participant

    Nobody disagrees that it is an advantage to know everything about everything. The issue is that there is a bigger advantage to knowing Torah than there is anthropology, for instance, and most of everything as well. And therefore we have to prioritize our life and learn Torah.

    It is a mistake to think that traditional Orthodoxy is “afraid” of knowledge. Although this is the MO party-line, and is taught in many MO schools, it is simply a misrepresentation of the facts. The issue isn’t that anyone is scared. The issue is we have only a certain amount of time on this world and learning Torah is the biggest Mitzvah there is, more valuable than physics, the “advantages” of knowing about quantum non-locality notwithstanding. And there is always the fact that the Halachah prefers those who do nothing but learn all day, which sets a goal for all those who are capable of doing it.

    in reply to: General Shmooze 2 #680690
    Joseph
    Participant

    Yossi: Legal for driving, voting, or alcohol?

    in reply to: College, Secular Studies & Judaism #1169540
    Joseph
    Participant

    And if obtaining an advanced degree is not a Mitzvah, why are the MO rabbis encouraging it instead of encouraging more learning, which is a Mitzvah? If people who only have HS education are also correct then why would rabbis recommend forgoing Torah learning for more advanced degrees if I am already doing correctly?

    in reply to: Modern Orthodox Judaism #663592
    Joseph
    Participant

    PY: With all due respect, your proofs are anything but. And it is difficult for me to take your posts seriously, the way you twist poorly and factually misconstrued points into equally krumme interpretations.

    I’m sure you are a nice guy and I truly love you and think there is hope for you before Moshiach comes. 🙂

    in reply to: College, Secular Studies & Judaism #1169538
    Joseph
    Participant

    Jothar,

    According to the Kovetz Shiurim, the problem with secular studies includes Bizayon HaTorah, and is not necessarily limited to Bitul Torah.

    in reply to: Question re: Ben Sorer U Moreh #664712
    Joseph
    Participant

    Is it not in lieu of future punishment?

    in reply to: Question re: Ben Sorer U Moreh #664709
    Joseph
    Participant

    The Bais Din takes nothing into account here except whether or not the child fits the criteria to be poskined a BSuM. His din is already established specifically in the Torah. The Bais Din is taking nothing into account except whether or not the criteria for BSuM have been met. They are not deciding a punishment.

    Why did the Torah poskin skilah?

    What I am postulating is that, per the Gur Aryeh’s understanding, the reason that the Torah poskin’s skilah, is because the Torah is taking into account the BSuM’s future behavior and punishing him for that future behavior now.

    in reply to: Tznius #662366
    Joseph
    Participant

    Feif – No, the halachas do not change. In the past, there was widespread ignorance in some areas and the halachas were not followed properly.

    in reply to: Labels – How Do You See Yourself? How Do Others See You? #662589
    Joseph
    Participant
    in reply to: Labels – How Do You See Yourself? How Do Others See You? #662587
    Joseph
    Participant

    squeak: A label that they unfortunately bestowed upon themselves. At this stage, it becomes necessary for discussion to utilize their own assigned label, to discuss the issue(s).

    (Thanks for stopping to pick on me. 🙂

    in reply to: Question re: Ben Sorer U Moreh #664707
    Joseph
    Participant

    If I am understanding the Gur Aryeh correctly, he is saying the Beis Din can take into account the child’s future behavior and punish him for that future behavior.

    in reply to: Tznius #662361
    Joseph
    Participant

    No matter how women are dressed; you are going to have this issue.

    Ein hochi nami. 1) Men need to control themselves. 2) Women need to dress k’halacha. Two separate (albeit related) issues.

    in reply to: Question re: Ben Sorer U Moreh #664705
    Joseph
    Participant

    Yet the Gur Aryeh that was quoted states a Beis Din can take a person’s future into account.

    in reply to: Question re: Ben Sorer U Moreh #664702
    Joseph
    Participant

    80 –

    One of the sections of Parashah Ki Seitzei sets out the laws of the ben sorer u’moreh who steals meat and wine from his parents and is put to death. Rashi explains that a ben sorer u’moreh is killed to save him from his own destiny, since he is destined to be a murderer and a thief.

    Several meforshim observe that this appears to contradict another well-known statement of Rashi, specifically his comment to Bereishis 21:17, that even though Hashem knew that Yishmael would one day oppress the Jewish People, He saved Yishmael from dying of thirst because, at that moment, Yishmael was righteous (or innocent). Is a person’s future taken into account when he is judged, or not?

    The Maharal answers that there is no contradiction. Rather, different rules apply to judgments in the Heavenly court (Yishmael) and a human court (ben sorer u’moreh). Specifically, the role of the human court system is to save wrongdoers from the punishment that they will obtain at the hands of Heaven. If it will further that goal, a human court can take a person’s future into account. (Gur Aryeh)

    Elsewhere, the Maharal observes that the Heavenly court takes into account in its judgment whether the sinner has repented. However, a human court may not do that. Maharal explains that the role of the human court is to distance a person from evil. A human court is charged solely with looking at a person’s “dark side.” In contrast, the Heavenly court judges the whole person. (Netiv Hateshuvah ch.2, as explained by R’ Yehoshua Hertman shlita, in his annotated edition of the Maharal’s writings) [Torah.org]

    in reply to: Tznius #662356
    Joseph
    Participant

    It is a G-d made weakness designed into human nature. Man must control it, but that does not alleviate the tznius issues.

    in reply to: Labels – How Do You See Yourself? How Do Others See You? #662581
    Joseph
    Participant

    Don’t use labels. A Jew is a Jew.

    Good idea. Care to submit a title change for THIS thread?

    in reply to: Modern Orthodox Judaism #663588
    Joseph
    Participant

    Back to the issue of labeling (which I, for one, am opposed to)…

    NY Mom (who I know isn’t a fan of this thread, but nevertheless makes a good point on another thread) wrote:

    Many MO people, and all the MO people that I know identify themselves in this way.

    (Quoting another poster:) “I am educated, and work outside of the home not in the chinuch world so it may appear that I’m MO.”

    This does not make you MO. Modern Orthodoxy is specific group of people who want to distinguish themselves from more traditional orthodoxy.

    in reply to: So, What did YOU do this Chol Ha’moed? #661915
    Joseph
    Participant

    gavra: In Chicago or Manchaster, England?

    in reply to: Funny Shidduch Stories #1227228
    Joseph
    Participant

    Weren’t you Chezky Pepper back on the Riddles thread?

    in reply to: YOU can Resolve the Shidduch Crisis #664378
    Joseph
    Participant

    Is it possible that, for the most part, our single people are just going through the motions of shidduchin, but for whatever reason, have been influenced by the goyish world or other factors, and do not want to marry?

    I think you are on to something here with some people.

    And a good portion of those who do not want to marry, but marry anyway due to pressures; are getting divorced?

    I don’t know that these are any more divorce oriented than others… but then again, how much do I know about this issue anyways?

    in reply to: General Shmooze 2 #680685
    Joseph
    Participant

    Yossi – How many did you already have?

    in reply to: Funny Shidduch Stories #1227226
    Joseph
    Participant

    That might work.

    in reply to: Tznius #662347
    Joseph
    Participant

    smalltown – If a Rebetzin is just another Chanie Doe, what makes her a Rebetzin?

    As far as the labeling, some of the people you refer to label themselves.

    in reply to: Ban Against Texting #662126
    Joseph
    Participant

    frum – Is your shita Daas Torah too? If not, why the commentary?

    in reply to: Modern Orthodox Judaism #663586
    Joseph
    Participant

    jag – I’m sure they can. But I would urge you too to reread “modernorthodox”‘s second comment on the first page of this thread, as well as “anonymouslysecret’s comment. Both felt it to anything but divisive, and anonymouslysecret stated he obtained a meaningful insight from the OP. That alone made the effort worth it.

    in reply to: General Shmooze 2 #680683
    Joseph
    Participant

    squeak – I read your commentary on it.

    in reply to: Funny Shidduch Stories #1227224
    Joseph
    Participant

    If she was a smartypants, I think it was he who lucked out.

    in reply to: YOU can Resolve the Shidduch Crisis #664375
    Joseph
    Participant

    I think mybat is touching on a major source of the “shidduch crisis”. Namely, girls going for a higher education and neglecting shidduchim in the interim. They are both delaying their marriage and over-educating themselves and effectively (in the real shidduch world) making themselves less attractive as such. A female PhD. will have eliminated a major portion of Bnei Torah from considering her, G-d forbid leaving her with the shrayim.

Viewing 50 posts - 251 through 300 (of 3,685 total)