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its 11:39 europe how come u guys are still up? now i understood why my posts have gone thru so fast
MP there could be also a problem of how kids were raised at home and what bichlal did they see. i am very much for that the bocher would have to give up from his learning to go to her city. bh i am married for many years with all the ups and downs and its exactly how aries put it down and yes its hard and noone is born with it.
SB and MP mazel tov bis 120. thank you for all your broches. Umein.
well sometime beginning of november should be great i might be in the usa for few days…
haifa what do you mean with a rabbi who lets u be a mommy by urself?
i agree with mp about aries…if i could start anew i would be going to koilel full day which is impossible by now…
oomis i fully agree!!!!!!
shein the only advice is to stop. if one can do it emotionally is another story.
tracht gut wird zein gut….why would you fall into something when youre about to build a solid relationship with a guy you choose to marry to?! good luck mazel tov and no doubt that everything will be good
im working now and its after chatzos by us…but wont stay too long.
i wanna place a question here. i read about mommas issues in past and also here. yaela too and all the others. while if we use our brain some seem less of a big deal then other but its how each individual reacts to it. i feel my issues are chocking me(shulem bais, depression, some yiddishkeit issues, issues with parents and some minor abuse from someone as kid which i call not abuse but using)but when i read here what people went thru i feel i dont have the right to even think of complainin. does anyone else feel like this? is it normal?
bomb sorry to say but all can be a source for emuna even rabbi elazars wife. why is it that when one goes to hospital or hears stories about sick children or mothers etc that you then realize theres noone to base onself only on hashem himself…so for some ppl other stuff do the same. i personally dont believe the story but if ppl want to and will strengthen anything by them let them be.
i understand zeeskite but also momma…one of the worst moments of my life was when my wife told me she wants to get divorced. I cried and cried and cried for many days and was depressed. bh were still married and a long way ahead still i dont think i ll ever forget this
observanteen first of all i am happy to hear you got out of depressions disbelief and confusion. I didnt see the tznius thread but the texting on shabbes and you are right the discussion of certain “heterim” was mamesh weird. Theres a story i think about the tzanzer rov who was asked by someone where does it say in shulchan aruch etc he opend his shirt and pointed to his heart and said here it says…its true that it should be enough to just believe in maamad har sinai and thats it. but asking questions even about emuna is for some ppl(if not for all)normal. i grew up modern but still heimish family and practized yiddishkeit because my father did. when i got older and had to learn rambam shmone prakim or his hakdama le mishnayos or hilchos deyos and other things it got me into thinking. once you think automaticly questions arises. after all we should perform mitzvos because we believe in hashem and toras moishe. to discuss halachic matters is ok but not everything needs to be discussesd here on CR. Noone should forget that the yetzer hara is big that people deal with emotional issues which in someway might reduce observance. Many just try to feel good about themselves which brings the to do things they would never do if everything would be alright. its very hard to think about hashem 24/7. i saw aries didnt comment i would like to know what she thinks
i learned something from a lubavitsher girl. i was standing with her father and her by a busstop and suddendly one of these missionaries came over and started talkin to us and wanted to give out material and the lubavitsher girl took it. i was surprised and asked why did she so she said so that one less can be handed out and find its way to a jew…i was impressed.
I would to eat more fleishigs but our kids are very picky eaters and most of the time its no possible to cook twice. So i dont suffer too much in the 9days and anyways shabbes is coming soon!!
Thats real great !!!!!!!! and gives loads of chizuk. Hashem is craving for our tfilos sadly we dont believe in ourselves that they can do something….Mazel Tov!!!!
There are two kinds of ppl in this: some that would never open attachments or click on a link when they are not 100%sure that its ok and so avg is enough and then those who dont cautious(i guess because they are not aware)those should use kaspersky etc
thats a wonderfull piece gal thanx for sharing
aries is right…
There are some diffrent opinions to what you can do. For hygienic reasons you may take a shower. But i think it says that not a full one just some parts of the body. Also not with warm water but that doesnt mean it has to be icecold. For Shabbes the minhag is to take a full one lekavod Shabbat.
My wife was for a time a stay in mother dealing with house and kids. Then she went to work and i stayed with kids and dealt with alot at home and now we went back that i am the one working she is home but wants to do something from the side(mi hatzad)
We went more than once to israel and usa and left kids by families whose kids share the same class with ours. We also took all the kids with to a wedding in usa this year. Just the very last time my wife went alone and i stayed with them home. So its all normal i think
yid4life is right we need to daven for them and for ourselves too. I just have one question: how far are those who text on shabbes from any other chilul shabbes? i cant imagine it stops there. I was never involved with kids at risk because were we live it doesnt exist or not the way it is in usa. but what aries said makes sence to me
im laughing my head off here just what i needed thanx
aries youre right. i have a bro in law who is “ibergegeben” to people the whole day long and does special things. i guess hashem granted him with special koiches for that
Yid from my experience I can say that if parents can’t help you inquire and emotionally someelse has to. My life sadly took a bad turn when it came to shiduchim and I had noone to just help me back then. My parents didn’t have a clue my older sister and brother met their spouses somekind by themself. Of course if u know how to take of it its very good. I’m just sharing.
I am also someone who on the spot says yes I’m married and have 3 kids. This year I learned to say no for the first time. I have a “friend” who used me for writin emails for him. I agreed I wanted to help. But then it go tooo much. Hed call me late at nite and would drive me nuts during the day. So I decided ad kaan I’m gonna tell I can’t continue it I’m very sorry. He found someone else to drive crazy. Recently I had to be in hospital for four days and he came to visit me. Guess what? He wanted me to write an email for him and it was nothing important…I was very angry and told hjm. Sometimes you have to be able to say no!
Could u explain what you meant with the fact that they’re just boy/girlfriend makes it hard?
yid4life ur deff right. are u parents helping you in figuring out or do you do this all by urself?
You will have a relationship only with the one marry because it takes much more than just going out to built one. but maybe u shouldn’t give away from right away in the beginning. I assune you go out more than 3 times so when you see its going into the right direction you should start open up more. What u think?
i come from a modern family, my father being a holocaust survivor from a real chassidish family did never educate us to be chasidish in any way. hashem leads the world and i married into a real chasidishe family. my wife is diffrent then the family but she grew up very chasidish. i have experienced a few things since i got married. theres nothing like the warmkeit chasidim have when they daven. for years i attended a shir in bnei yissoscher and i can say chasidishe toires had a huge inpact on me.
EDITED
another point might be the chinuch of the kids. they go to general chassidish cheider whereas i grew in a more modern one and i see a certain diffrence.
agree i think there should be also a system when u get alerted by email that someone wrote something in a thread where u commented….
yw mod excellent!!!! i stopped watching movies few years ago. more out of thinking its waste of time and less out of yiddishkeit. lately i have seen some but i can count them on one hand.
i totally agree on arushes book. i read it myself and it opened my eyes. you say you love her so i dont see why you two together wouldnt be able to work on this. much hatzluche !!!!!
Maybe al pi halacha there’s no diffrence between the clock and the frame but I guess its a feeling…a shabbesdige feeling to put it away
?oo? ???? s???? ??? ??????
bh my parents are bh still alive my father is 80 khore and my mother is 65 but shes very sick. one think that i cant take out of my mind is what happens after 120…so getting old involves being depended on other people even when its your own kids. but hey do we have a choice bichlal? i dont think about myself being old as in my mind i am still 18 but well when i look at old ppl it makes me think whats gonna be
I fully agree with aries2756. It seems she is dealing with cases of child abuse. I dont wish anyone to get to know this topic from being involved with own kids or close relatives c`v but believe me all you would change your minds afterwards.
Europe. Gotta move to ny i think
I grew up in a very modern family but with time we the children became more frum than our parents. There are things that I don’t feel I gave up bichlal like chalav akum any other food issue or TV. It became so obvious that I really never felt I miss it. But things like goishe music and sometimes movies is something I can say I still crave but try really hard not to fall back to it. one issue that disturbs me very much is that I can’t eat by my parents. Only on pessach when we, my wife kids and me, go for seder we eat there because everything is 100% ok.
I too agree that some more needs to b done but hundreds of questiond come up that pashut need to b discussed
but really now whats with shabbes?many ortodox people dont wear watches and not only ones with batt(which i heard are muktze).Kids can get lost shabbes too. what will we do then? i think that during the school year it must be important to walk the child to the bus and to wait for the bus when kids coming back. This has nothing to do with tracking etc. Till what age? good question i dont know. the question is also what do you tellyour kids when they grow older? like 9 or 10 you will not be able to keep it as a secret that he/she has a tracking device on him and if they decide to take it off?
this whole issue of how to take care of our kids is very complicated. I dont live in bp and not even usa but well i was used to sending my kids alone to cheider(age 10,9) but maybe thats wrong. Maybe we(me)need to change the way we let our kids go on the streets(anywhere in the world big cities might me dangerous). I am not sure myself how if and what is to do about it. we always have to do tshuve and maybe thats the wakeup call for this too. the truth is i cant make sense of it all. Taking care of our kids is surely what needs to be done…
Sorry for not being clear: he did and is doing wrong
I feel my aveiros did it but logically i guess were all to blame as klal. We should think what we can do evryone for himself. What do u think?
Zei mir moichel about ur shvigger…shell never wanna hear her son does any wrong…to me its out of question from the things u post that he has done and is doing wrong