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Going into a swimming pool on Shabbos is not such an issue. It’s coming out of it where you run into trouble.
besalel– Are you being serious? I can’t tell.
The woman DOES make the man. All men are born from women.
Well, except for Caesar, anyway.
My favorite used to be A Night to Remember: A Haggadah of Contemporary Voices. Then my husband gave me Women at the Seder (edited by Joel Wolowelsky) as a gift while we were dating, and now I use that. We like to collect a lot of different Haggadahs for everyone to choose from at the Seder.
Or in school, when you raise your hand, get called on, then realize you have absolutely NO IDEA what you were going to say…
1. Generally speaking, I think it’s designed to benefit the landlord. The less turnover the management has, the less money they lose during the in between time when the apartment is not being rented by anyone. Except in super tight/competitive markets, tenants might prefer to rent “at will” without a minimum term lease so that they can decide to move at any time.
2. What do you mean by “short of suing in court”? Any recourse the landlord would have would be legal in nature. If you mean something that’s not legal, well, I guess they could send threatening letters or something, but if they really want to make sure the tenant pays up, lawyers generally need to get involved. That does not, however, mean that it will end up literally as a civil case in a physical courtroom.
3. The market sets the rent. If the landlord sets the rent arbitrarily high, the tenants will all move elsewhere.
I don’t live in Brooklyn, but I hear plenty of Brooklyn accents around anyway.
I don’t have a smartphone and don’t want one. I really hope I’m not eventually forced into it, though…the last time I went to upgrade my basic phone, the guy at Verizon gave me a whole lecture about how “the world is changing, cars can drive themselves and my 18 month old daughter knows how to turn on the TV” and that basic phones are becoming obsolete. It was very upsetting.
oomis, yes, you would have to remember not to taste it, but I’m pretty sure that it would not need to be cooked in a separate pot or stored in a separate container/section of the fridge (obviously this is not a psak; check with your rav). After all, kitniyos do not “contaminate” the way chametz does. One is permitted to own kitniyos on Pesach, just not to eat it– and Ashkenazim can eat non-kitniyos food at Sephardi tables, where the food was prepared in the same kitchen and with the same equipment.
Do you also consider it “offensive” when you receive direct mail solicitation, when you hear an ad on the radio, or when you see a promotion in a newspaper? When someone knocks on your door selling something? When you get a dedicated e-mail? Etc etc…you may as well knock out the entire advertising industry and tell companies they aren’t allowed to make money anymore. They wouldn’t do this if it didn’t work.
Telemarketers deserve the right to earn a parnassah, just as anybody else does. Consider whether or not you would like to spend several hours a day receiving the treatment described above, and then wish the telemarketer a hearty yasher koach for putting up with it.
Very funny, with the exception of #4. Therapists are not frivolous and unnecessary; they are lifesavers– literally.
Sounds like a nightmare for the moderators.
Getting married does NOT mean that decision-making gets easier. It just means that one particular decision is over (and not necessarily even that– some people unfortunately have doubts after the fact). Actually, in many ways life decisions get harder post-marriage because they have far-reaching consequences that affect not just you, not even just you and your spouse, but also a handful of other, vulnerable neshamas that can’t always speak for themselves.
Potatoes can also be baked into bread.
akuperma, you are responding to the question (which, incidentally, was rhetorical) on an institutional basis, when it was clearly meant for individuals. There’s a lesson here– let’s not miss out on it by getting sucked into politics (as seems to happen here, over and over and over…)
Nope. Not even close.
Easier in EY than in a place with zero frum singles? Well, sure. But there are many other places that also fit that description. London may be “best value” for you in terms of distance plus number of frum singles, but you don’t mention where in Europe you live or if you have family connections outside of Europe. There are many factors at play. You may also want to consider Saw You At Sinai, where you’ll have access to singles who live all over the place.
Not a simcha per se but still a mazel tov– I just got offered my first “real” job in my chosen field!!!
“I don’t understand u could wake up wtvr time u want every day without ever having to worry about shema zman teffila or TEFFILIN do u realize what a luxury that is?? I love the mitzvah of teffilin, but seriously chill, why would u want another reason to never be able to sleep late or go places where a minyan is required?!
U wanna wear teffilin go ahead they cost 2000 bucks and have to be put on EVERYDAY not just when u feel spiritual, and can’t be kept just anywhere eg; sun heat etc. . Oh and a bag and accessories are like another 150$. U wanna tallis also?
My advice: enjoy the mitzvos u were given its alot easier for women to connect to god then for men they dont need all the extra stuff, maybe that’s why they weren’t given them, who knows”
Think about why men say “shelo asani isha” and why women say “sheasani kirtzono” and then rethink your above rant.
Also– “2000 bucks” and “another 150 for accessories”??? Are you kidding?? where on earth did you buy your tefillin? My husband got a gorgeous pair of gasos for 500 including the bag and everything.
Do you not have a printer/word processor? Why can’t you type it up? Most publications will accept submissions by mail (in fact, a few prefer it that way) but would regard anything handwritten as unprofessional.
My rav’s psak on aluminum pans: buy it; take it home; bend it backwards such that it’s not usable; bend it back again. Now, since you fixed it from an unusable state, it’s as if you made it, and since you’re a Jew, it doesn’t require toveling. And the whole thing takes less than a minute 🙂
18 tears? Wow, that must be strong stuff! 😛
Softwords, do you really think that governments should allow themselves to be strong-armed by citizens? Does that seem to you to be a reasonable way to run a country?
Why was my post deleted, when two other users expressed basically the same sentiment?
By all means you should disclose. If it was a major enough life event that you’re even asking the question, you probably already know the answer.
I will take issue with the details, though. I agree with Syag Lchochma that a true addiction is not something that EVER goes away, and therefore it absolutely needs to be shared because it will affect a potential spouse. I need to point out as well that there is one item on your list that really doesn’t belong there: depression. First of all, like addiction, depression is not something that ever truly goes away. But more to the point, it’s not a “stupid regretable [sic] thing” that is “part of being human and making mistakes”. Depression is a clinical disorder. No one chooses it; no one asks for it; it’s not a “behavior” for which one needs to “do teshuvah”. (One might say that addiction is also clinical and out of the person’s hands, with the notable caveat that the addiction might have been avoided by not picking up the cigarette/alcohol/whatever behavior in the first place.) Also– both addiction and depression need to be properly treated and maintained. That is key. Because even if you think you are “over” it, if you stop going to AA meetings, stop taking meds, stop avoiding dangerous situations, whatever the case may be, you WILL backslide. There are so many cases of people who had their disorders completely under control and then got cocky. The results are always tragic.
I don’t know the case, but it sounds like the guy argued he had the right to be in the delivery room so he could bond with his child, and the judge said there was no such thing as bonding with a fetus.
No, we don’t. How do we know which rabbonim to follow, and how do we know we’re truly following them? How do we know they’re right in the first place? How do we know Hashem isn’t, k’ilu, looking down at us and saying, “Look at all those mitzvos Reuven is doing– look how diligent he is– but why isn’t he focusing on helping Shimon do more mitzvos?” or some such thing (just one example).
How much “bonding” is really going on in the delivery room anyway?? Hello??? If he wants to “bond” with the baby before it is born that should be done before she goes into labor– and, yes, I think she should have the right to object even to that. After the baby is born they can make custody and visiting arrangements, etc, but until then baby and mother are literally inseparable, and she shouldn’t have to be subjected to his company if she doesn’t want it. Especially since unborn baby bonding frequently involves physical contact.
so what do you want? Ask a specific question and maybe you’ll get a specific answer! Do you expect a complete list of the standards of every single community in the world??
“Saying ‘it’s impossible to know what G-d wants’ is a cop out that just lets everyone do what THEY want.”
That doesn’t follow. Hashem gave us the Torah, but it is up to us to interpret it, and even the greatest gadol, by virtue of being human, will be unable to unlock every last secret of the Torah. It’s not that we can just throw up our hands and “do whatever we want”– we need to do our hishtadlus– but we should also recognize that we are in galus and we have no nevua, and so we really have no way of knowing how our actions are being received in shamayim. It’s a truly humbling thought.
It really depends on the community. There are different standards in different places.
I don’t agree. Talmidei chochomim deserve tremendous respect for their knowledge of Torah, and when they issue psak it should of course be followed. But when the shailah is complex, we should recognize that their psak is coming from their understanding of Torah– which is of course many times greater than our own– not from some ruach hakodesh based understanding of “what Hashem wants”. That is something no one can know. Obviously we need to act in accordance with Torah principles. But I think it is dangerous to teach hashkafa by saying “this is what Hashem wants”. Not only does it anthropomorphize Hashem, which should be avoided whenever possible, it can also lead to people asserting authority over other people under cover of the banner of Torah. Too often I have seen people say on the coffee room “do you really think this is what Hashem wants”? Well, how should I know what Hashem wants? How should YOU know, and how can you presume to tell me? Listen, I believe in emunas chochomim and da’as Torah. But don’t equate that with some vague, nebulous “what Hashem wants”, because even the biggest gadol in the world can’t possibly know what that is.
How does one know what Hashem wants of us outside of specified mitzvos? How can you call non-mitzvah behavior (not aveiros, but something that’s not brought down by anyone as one of the 613) a “mitzvah” simply because it’s “what Hashem wants” (according to…)? We all try to do the right thing, and of course we make decisions according to a value system that stems from a Torah outlook. But that’s hashkafa, not halacha. You may make those decisions bearing in mind that you will one day face judgment in shamayim. But that doesn’t mean that you have a crystall ball into the “mind” of Hashem, so to speak.
I also use chocolate chips, but I melt them first with some soy milk and honey. It’s richer that way, and also I just don’t like the look of it when it comes out of the oven and you can see the individual chocolate chips in the center. I think it looks nicer when it’s a homogeneous filling.
need seminary help, do you have a source for not kissing babies in shul?
Regardless, it still doesn’t look like a “math problem” per se…
Where to buy a kallah in Monsey
Generally speaking, that is the minhag, that the wife takes on her husband’s practices and not vice versa. I am not Sephardi, but I grew up in a modern home (and school) and learned Sephardi/Modern Hebrew pronunciation. Since getting married, I have changed to traditional Ashkenazi pronunciation, although sometimes I still unwittingly slip back into the Sephardi pronunciation (it can be confusing!) I also have changed my minhag regarding sit/stand for Kiddush and other things. It is something that women need to consider while they are dating. For me, it was nothing too drastic, but cross-cultural shidduchim can lead to conflict if the woman is not prepared to change her minhag.
What difference does it make if we were once all Sephardi or not? It’s very nice if true, but we aren’t living in the past and shidduchim are made based the reality we live in today. OP, it sounds like you and your child are in a difficult situation that is being exacerbated by unhelpful and discriminatory shadchanim. I don’t doubt that you are suffering. I empathize with you. But I don’t think a discussion of Klal Yisroel’s Sephardi roots is really relevant. You won’t get the shadchanim to change their minds that way, and if Ashkenazi/Sephardi shidduchim are rarely made due to cultural differences, those cultural differences aren’t going away just because it turns out they haven’t been around as long as we might have thought.
I think it is the ultimate humility to acknowledge that despite our best efforts, we probably will sin. It is a hallmark of human psychology that the more modest the goal, the more achievable it is.
I usually try to repackage any unwanted items we get into a new mishloach manos to give out (obviously not to the original giver, but it ends up being a mishmash anyway so I’m not sure it matters).
Labrador retrievers are calmer and less high-strung. Much better for a family with young children. I wouldn’t worry about the size.
Because we’re humans, not angels.
“I also love Hebrew (both LH”K and Ivrit)”
What’s the difference? Do you mean biblical vs. modern Hebrew? Is modern Hebrew considered different enough from biblical Hebrew that it’s no longer lashon hakodesh?
Rephrase based on your original statement: Like all women, Chana was more similar to Penina than to Chana.
According to the Shulchan Aruch it is assur to give more than a small amount of money (now what a “small amount” is can be up for debate, but still) to anyone who goes door to door personally soliciting tzedakah.
Great to hear!