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Charlie, I’m a little confused. Surely you don’t believe that opposing vaccines is the worst of Trump’s beliefs, and that favoring small government over cigarette industry regulation is the worst of Pence’s beliefs?
“…what would be wrong with ALL measures of containment being enacted, even the ones that in hindsight would turn out to be fruitless, until we could have gotten a handle on this?”
What would be wrong with implementing “containment measures” that don’t work, “just in case”? A LOT. The more we subject American health care workers returning from Africa to unnecessarily stringent procedures, the more we discourage those workers from returning to Africa and others from going there in the first place to treat Ebola. Not to mention that the cost/benefit ratio has to make sense. The advantage of a “kitchen-sink” approach over a measured and methodical approach is infinitesimally small, especially compared with the collateral damage of such an approach– which, in addition to majorly inconveniencing doctors and nurses and their families, and depriving Africans of much-needed care, would also incite a blind national panic. It just doesn’t add up.
Incidentally, in the Dallas hospital, experts have noted that Ebola may have infected the nurses due in part to the nurses going above and beyond the recommended protective measures, e.g. wearing three pairs of gloves instead of two. You might think that more is always better, but it’s not true.
What? Potato kugel is a “cake”?
I once dated a convert whose mother was not Jewish and father was an OTD Syrian. His father’s family rejected him, so much so that when he was born, his grandfather said to his father, “What a shame that we can only love half this child.” (When he grew up and became a frum Jew, their attitude didn’t change.)
Frum converts in general already have to deal with outright suspicion and marginalization, which I believe is a real tragedy, but it’s ten times worse in the Syrian community. I don’t know why.
There’s a big difference between inter-proselytizing and intra-proselytizing. Why should a Jew be offended by another Jew wanting to draw him into Yiddishkeit? But a Christian wanting to draw a Jew into Christianity…well, any fool can see that’s a completely different story.
I would say Tim Tebow. It’s always inspiring to see a major athlete hold on to his faith and abstain from indulgent behaviors despite tremendous peer pressure. Even if his is the “wrong” faith, I still admire him. I wouldn’t say he’s a role model for me per se, but for all the little boys out there who do hold up athletes as role models, he would be a great one to choose.
Being affectionate and being a good teacher are not wrong. What’s wrong is assuming that only a “sheigetz” has evil thoughts.
How the mods know if a poster is Joseph? I’m guessing he’s used the same e-mail address, or different e-mail addresses under the same IP address.
“These are Yiddishe kids that we’re talking about, and I don’t care what this sick world has come to- what does a sheigetz’s ideas have to do with me???”
Unfortunately, there are sick Yidden out there, too. Don’t bury your head in the sand.
Is there a high school as well?
Thanks, catch yourself. I think the difference is that the kollel here is not a community kollel, but the beis medrash program of a yeshiva.
Anything out there for Blackberry?
Klinghoffer’s children wrote an op-ed for the Times of Israel about the opera. Google “Death of Klinghoffer is an injustice to our father’s memory”.
Bump…anyone have any info?
As far as the “symbiotic relationship” and the existence of the kollel being a benefit to the community, in theory I wholeheartedly agree. It’s just that in practice (and again, I can only speak for my community) it doesn’t seem to work that way. My husband was really excited to be in this community where there is a thriving kollel. He wanted to learn in the kollel’s Beis Medrash and take advantage of shiurim. But the kollel doesn’t seem to offer shiurim to the larger community, and when he goes to the Beis Medrash he doesn’t feel so welcome. It’s like the yeshiva is its own little bubble and not really accessible to him so much. And just to make this clear, I definitely don’t have a grudge against “black hatters”, nor do I generally use that term.
Families who are not a part of the kollel system end up supporting kollel families in many ways other than just making a donation to kollel itself. These families might give their maaser money to Tomchei Shabbos, which in turn distributes food to hungry kollel families, or they might donate to the local day school or yeshiva ketana to pay tuition for the children of men who learn in kollel.
One thing that troubles me is the way that already strained financial resources cycle through a community without gathering much in the way of dollars from outside the community. I might babysit for my neighbor’s children and use that money to get my shaitel washed and set, and the sheitel macher might use that money at the seforim store, and the owner of the store might go to lunch at the new kosher place in town…At least, it definitely seems to work that way in my community. There are too many men in kollel who aren’t working at all, and there are too many people (mostly women) who have set up little in-home businesses babysitting, or selling tichels or whatnot, but they can never make a real substantial profit because their customers are all frum, and all equally pinched for money. In my case with the babysitting, I’d really like to charge a lot more per hour than I’m getting, but if I raised my rates I wouldn’t get any business. I get it; he’s in kollel and she’s a teacher, and they have to pay rent. But since they send their kids to me, they end up paying my rent, too– and neither they nor we are quite making it.
I really hate it when someone who asks a practical question gets a lecture (or two), but no practical advice.
My husband and I are possibly looking to move next year. We’ve already done extensive research, but I’d love to hear some “inside information”. Please only respond if you live in, or have lived in, one of the following communities:
Phoenix, Kansas City, Waterbury, Richmond, Milwaukee, Cincinnati, Albany, Memphis, Atlanta, Houston, South Bend, St. Louis
[This list was generated primarily based on affordability of housing as a starting point. If you think we’ve missed something, please share!]
We are most interested in
1) accessibility of Torah: Does the rabbi give in-depth, Hebrew-sourced shiurim? Do they bring in noted scholars-in-residence?
2) politics: In communities where there are both a modern and a yeshivish presence, do the people get along? Do they talk to each other? Do they eat in each others’ houses?
3) schools: In modern schools, how strong is the Torah education? In yeshivish schools, is secular education valued and are kids encouraged to go to college? How much is tuition and are they generous with financial aid, or do they ask you to justify every dime you ever spent?
agutyar, why is it a “crazy idea”? And why does it have to be “necessary”– why can’t women dance with the Torah just because they want to?
PurimMashgiach:
I don’t really understand what “pretend to be offended” means.
Regardless of whether oomis did or did not understand what you meant, “you gotta relax” is still not an appropriate response. Maybe you should clarify what you meant if you really think she didn’t get it.
catch yourself:
I agree with this: “Just knowing that everyone around you is (usually) trying to do the right thing in the best way they know how should help you realize that no slight was intended.”
But it doesn’t mean that people who do take offense should be responded to by having their feelings disregarded. It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to have the above attitude, and it’s not proper to push people away or imply that they have no right to feel the way they do.
No talking bichlal, or no talking in between putting on tefillin shel rosh and tefillin shel yad? What other conditions?
sm29, what do you mean by “mess up”?
The difference is that if the memory was stored in the Pensieve before the charm was placed on the person, the stored memory should be unaffected– at the very least require a separate charm. I’ll have to look up the Slughorn one.
God-fearing Jews will never, ever abandon Torah and mitzvos, medinah or no.
And you’ve overlooked the tiny detail that Hamas is on a slaughter campaign. Not exile, slaughter. Why don’t you try telling the families of Hamas victims that their loved ones’ deaths are “a mere annoyance”.
You mean Obliviate? That’s for memories inside a person’s brain, not the silvery memories swirling in the Pensieve…
Wait, where is there evidence that memories can be tampered with? I must have missed that one…
I disagree. Substantively, I can see both sides here. But one of my pet peeves is when someone responds to an objection (legitimate or not) by saying “Chill” or something in that genre. It’s condescending, offensive, and shuts down dialogue.
Hairy Fathers Have Got Nothing to Do with Judaism
Without expressing an opinion one way or the other regarding Gelilah, I will just mention that I don’t think “You gotta relax” is an appropriate response to offer someone who has taken offense.
I worked as a telemarketer for years. I felt really good about helping out the organization I worked for, and the pay was good. I also periodically had some interesting conversations with the people I called. Unfortunately, rudeness is something that comes with the territory.
Here’s what I wish I could say to all the people who were rude to me:
If you’re annoyed by the phone calls, please politely ask not to be called again, and I really will take you off my list for this year. The worst for everyone is when you just hang up without saying anything, because it means I have to call you again and you’re not going to like it. If you have a gripe with my organization, please say so and I really will make a note of it and pass it on to my supervisor. Remember, I’m just here trying to do my job, and I deserve basic courtesy as much as anyone else. Don’t scream at me or play practical jokes on me. It’s not funny; it’s hurtful.
Lior, if your above post is serious, you clearly don’t understand what depression is.
By “no need to date” I meant no need to include a dating stage of the relationship before engagement, which should have been clear since when “date” is used as a verb, it is never used to refer to a single date.
You are correct that there is no evidence regarding which method is more successful, and that anyone could speculate anything. I do not disagree with you on that point. I personally am not speculating either way, though– as you’ll see if you read my initial post on this thread, I don’t believe that dating and marriage are one-size-fits-all. I just wanted to point out that the available options are broader than your post indicated.
“However, a person shouldn’t mourn over the state of his life, his matzav, because that would be a ????? in ?????. One with true ????? will understand that everything that happens to him is heavenly ordained, and that HKB”H is ??? ???? ????? ?? ??????.”
Everyone goes through suffering in life, and understanding that the suffering one experiences has been heavenly ordained may help him to realize that it will eventually pass and better times will come. But that does not negate the fact that he is suffering now. It is very dangerous to make statements like this that essentially posit that people who are suffering have no right to be miserable.
The act of shechitah itself doesn’t hurt the animal, but that ignores the months or years of suffering that the animals experience while waiting to be slaughtered.
A “rasha” is not the same thing as a “baal aveirah”. Anyone who thinks he himself is NOT a “baal aveirah” is mistaken, because nobody is perfect. We were all created with our own taivahs and you may not understand it, but there are people out there who are genuinely struggling to do the right thing. Hashem tests us all in different ways. Try not to judge. Whether or not you should accept as a chavrusah someone you know to be doing a particular aveirah depends on whether or not the aveirah will affect your learning, as well as which one of you is more likely to influence the other in that area.
Personally, I notice that Chofetz Chaim guys are more mentschlich and mature than other yeshiva bachurim.
“I never heard of any chosid who doesn’t have at least one beshow (i.e. a ‘date’), so this point isn’t relevant.”
But it IS relevant, because as I pointed out, one date isn’t enough. Plus beshows are frequently shorter than dates, and can even be chaperoned.
“I would venture the long-term success rate is better than those who date for a year or more.”
You must realize that there’s something in between one beshow and dating for a year. The number of frum couples I know who dated for a year or more I could count on one hand, and actually all of those are very happily married now.
Happy and serious is indeed not a contradiction. Happy and sad, or happy and mourning, is. “Satisfied that we are mourning the way Hashem wants us to” is in no way simcha.
I’m surprised no one has brought up aveilus yet. It is very difficult for a person who has just lost a close relative to genuinely rejoice (not just go through the motions) at weddings, chagim, and other occasions of simcha.
Incidentally, it is impossible for a person to literally be happy all the time. We can only understand and experience happiness because of the existence of sadness and tragedy. Without that contrast, neither emotion can really touch us. In theory (not that these people really exist) a person whose life is 100% perfect has no conception of sadness, and a person whose life is 100% miserable has no conception of happiness.
Why wouldn’t Hermione have used her Time-Turner to catch up on sleep, so that she could have kept her crazy schedule? Always bothered me.
I bet popa_bar_abba won’t touch this one. It would take him too long to give separate answers for each of his wives. Multi-part question plus multiple wives= too much math.
Yes.
Yes.
Some of them.
Yes. (The one about houses in Lakewood was him, for instance.)
No, and probably never will.
Incidentally, he also knows my password.
“Harry beats Voldemort because he has the allegiance of the Elder Wand because he disarmed Malfoy who had disarmed Dumbledore. However, Harry didn’t win the Elder Wand from Malfoy; it was just Malfoy’s regular wand. So why would Harry have the allegiance of the Elder Wand?”
But Harry did win the Elder Wand by definition when he disarmed Malfoy. You don’t need to physically take possession of the wand in order to win its allegiance. In fact, stealing the wand won’t make it work for you, hence Dumbledore’s plan to let the wand die with him. Remember, Voldemort thought he could just take the wand from Dumbledore’s tomb and it would obey him. But in fact, if Dumbledore had not been disarmed before he died, the wand would not have been loyal to Voldemort just because he seized it. It would have acted like an ordinary wand.
“And yekke2, old question. Pashtus PAA is right, although it’s not so ????, especially as all the Elves are doing is picking them up. So Dobby in his time at the Malfoys could have just picked up some clothes. And can all House-Elves not work with clothes? ???? its ???? on ??? ?????.”
In Dobby’s case, Lucius literally gave him a sock. House-elves are freed when the masters physically present them with clothing, not when they have to work with clothing as part of their job– so laundry wouldn’t count.
However, Hermione does not physically give her hats to the house-elves in Gryffindor Tower. The hats nevertheless have the power to free the elves because she planted them with the kavannah that they are gifts. (So if she just carelessly left her own hat lying around, a house-elf could pick it up and return it to its place without being freed.)
There is no “better”, there is only what works and what doesn’t work. And that is different for everyone. Marriage isn’t one size fits all, and neither is dating.
I just want to respectfully point out, for the people who are saying there’s no need to date because of all the extensive research that the parents do– that’s wonderful, but the truth is that research has its limitations. It is impossible to tell from research, to give a basic example, whether or not the boy and girl will “click” and enjoy each other’s company. I have certainly had my share of awkward dates with guys who were seemingly compatible with me “on paper”. And I’m not certain that one meeting is enough to tell if the conversational chemistry is there, since first dates can often be awkward anyway.
Divorced people can be single, too! So can widows and widowers. “Single” is not necessarily synonymous with “never married”.
Incidentally, I’m assuming this is a parent/child situation in which case the terms “mutar” and assur” are not really relevant. If you did in fact mean is it assur, then whether or not it’s “practical”, whatever that means, is not an appropriate question. If it’s assur (although I’m not sure I see how it could be), it’s assur, end of story.
“Practical” to say so? Meaning will he disobey and go anyway? If that’s your concern I think you have larger issues…
However, if you meant a) is it practical for him to go, that’s going to depend on your family situation, or b) is it reasonable to say he can’t go, absolutely unless tickets have been booked for months and you already said yes a while back (barring extenuating circumstances).
It would be a lot easier to answer if the question itself were clearer.
I think, actually, that sensitive boys have a harder time in shidduchim. Sensitive, respectful, modest, good listener etc. is what most girls claim to be looking for…but when faced with one of these guys in person, they ultimately aren’t interested in him, because he isn’t “glamorous” enough. I do know many girls who don’t have this problem, just saying I also know many girls who do, and I know how frustrating it can be for the guys.
I would say minhagim. As far as I know, nusach only refers to davening and leining.