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Hi everyone…For some reason I was just thinking about the Coffee Room and remembering how I used to post on here all the time, so I thought I would lurk for a while and see if there were any interesting topics. Then I spotted this thread and wondered if anybody missed me- thanks SJS and ICOT! Looks like the Coffee Room has changed a lot since I’ve been gone. I guess I’ve changed a lot, too. I may post a few things now if I find anything good to respond to; if not, I come home from E”Y in three weeks (the year’s just flown by!) so I may make a temporary comeback then before starting college.
Enough with the attacks! I think this is another thread that needs closing.
The “proof” about birchat hachama was already discredited several times over. I believe there’s another thread on here about “proofs” that Mashiach is coming this year. This one is probably unnecessary.
“Avoid the frummy topics?” How do you expect to do that…?
This entire website is “frummy”. It’s called The YESHIVA World for a reason.
That’s perceptive of you, Bogen! You’re right, I never used to drink coffee, and now I have a cup or two every day- but don’t worry, I’m not addicted 🙂 I just like the taste of it- decaf is fine too.
intellegent, I didn’t think you really meant all males, but I thought it was strange that you said “never open the door for any male” when I would have thought to write “never open the door for a strange man” or even just “never open the door for a man”. I just wanted to clarify to make sure you meant what I thought you meant.
The fast is over is E”Y, so those of us living here can have coffee!
intellegent, if the argument was that men should be learning Torah as part of their regular chiyuv instead of posting on the CR, that would be one thing. However, the purpose of this thread was to encourage users to learn Torah in the zechut of our brothers and sisters who are currently in danger. Doing so rather than posting in the CR is a better use of time, and those living in the affected areas of Israel need all the help they can get. This therefore has no relation whatsoever to the Jews who are actively doing the learning and everything to do with the Jews who are running to shelters every other minute. It doesn’t matter what a person’s natural tafkid or chiyuv is; we all need to do what we can to help out. For some women, this will mean learning Tanach or saying Tehillim rather than learning Gemara. But we all need to be doing something.
I just came from a funeral on Har Herzl for one of the soldiers who died this morning. It was such a beautiful thing to see hundreds of people gathered there in solidarity. After the eulogies were over, it took my friend and me about twenty minutes just to push through the crowd to see the grave properly. Many people, including relatives, were crying unashamedly. This is, I think, what the intent was behind this thread- that we shouldn’t just continue living our lives as if nothing had happened. For me, attending the funeral just meant taking a fifteen-minute bus ride, and I’m grateful that I live in E”Y and have access to this kind of stuff. But everyone can help in his or her own way. Spending all of one’s free time in the CR may not be harmful, but there are other positive things that one can be doing instead. Let’s try to keep that in mind as the war progresses.
intellegent, what was “un-feminist” about what I wrote?
yashrus20, I realize you were joking, but comments like “there uniform is an apron” are neither amusing nor appropriate. Making light of serious subjects diminishes their importance to the reader. Also, your (joking, I assume) comment about only women having an “excuse” to post here ignores the fact that talmud Torah is not a mitzvat aseh she’hazman grama. So even if you belong to the camp that forbids women from learning Gemara, we still can and should learn Tanach.
Yanky, my sincere condolences over your being attacked by a man who apparently thinks that the Arabs launching rockets at us are Zionists.
yashrus20, did you mean “chauvinist” rather than “shouvanist”?
Women who ask their husbands to run errands do so because they genuinely need their help in keeping the household functioning. Do you want to have clean shirts to wear at yeshiva? Do you want to have nice food for Shabbos? Do you want your children to get to school on time? All of these things are necessary in order to do mitzvot, so women are no less “in the army of Hashem” than men are.
I remember when my brother was about four years old and I was nine, he wanted ice cream after a fleishig meal. My parents finally gave in after he threw a tantrum. Then they had to deal with MY tantrum, because I said it wasn’t fair- if I had to keep kosher, so did he. They said he was too young to understand, but I was convinced it was because they just couldn’t deal with the screaming anymore 🙂
oomis, have you ever actually tried rice milk or soymilk? It’s very tasty. I switched over to soy a few years ago, and I can’t even drink regular milk anymore because the soy is so much better. I especially love it in coffee.
Maybe he doesn’t have Internet. 🙂
Joseph:
http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/267677/jewish/Wipe-Out-Amalek-Today.htm
See this article for a different perspective on killing Amalek today. (From Chabad, no less!)
Anyway, the situation is not as black-and-white as you paint it. For one thing, the obligation to destroy Amalek is cultural rather than national, as is clear from the Rambam which states that we are only to kill them if they refuse to accept the Sheva Mitzvot Bnei Noach.
http://dir.salon.com/story/books/int/2005/11/10/karpinski/index.html
If you look at this article, you will see that an estimated 90% of the Abu Ghraib prisoners were actually innocent. Do you call that “good reason” to torture them?
intellegent, just curious: by “a male” do you mean ANY male, even a little boy? How about a full-grown man who is not a stranger?
Joseph, how do you know that there weren’t any Jews involved in that experiment?
Also, even if we knew who Amalek was, we would not carry out the mitzvah of killing them in modern times since Am Yisrael is not united. It is not a mitzvah for individual Jews to kill individual members of Amalek, but rather for the Jewish nation to exterminate the nation of Amalek. That’s not going to happen until Mashiach comes.
Re torturing terrorists, I’m all for it if it will serve the cause of getting information. However, my understanding of Abu Ghraib is that the terrorists were tortured unnecessarily, since we already had the information we needed.
So, back on topic…my friend who volunteers at the Jerusalem Zoo just told me that there was a small fire there last night and nearly all of the turtles died 🙁 They’re still trying to figure out if they’re going to give away the last remaining turtle to another zoo or import some more turtles to join him.
Thanks for the support, Joseph.
Would you care to bring sources for the sweeping statements you just made?
Gavra, I also know how to lein megillah and have done so twice on Purim (only one perek the first year, three prakim the second year.) I even did so in a mixed setting because men and women have equal obligations to hear the megillah read and can therefore equally participate in its reading- unless, of course, you hold that kriat megillah falls under the category of kol isha, which I don’t.
How about Bnot Tzelaphchad? They were the absolute epitome of feminism.
Completely and thoroughly. Period.
-Signed, the blasphemous feminist 😉
Whoa, let’s not make this thread into a war about evolution with personal insults being tossed back and forth. I believe the subject has been covered extensively elsewhere, so we pretty much already know where everyone stands.
Yes, the Baltimore Zoo is great. I was there several times as a child. The aquarium in Baltimore is also well maintained and the variety of sea creatures there is astounding. I no longer go to zoos, aquariums, circuses etc. on principle, but I still remember those two as holding my attention for long spans of time. I also know secondhand that the zoo in Yerushalayim is amazing. I live so close to the zoo that I can sometimes hear the animals at night (no danger of revealing my identity; there are hundreds of teenagers living in my building!) One of my friends volunteers twice a week with the birds; she loves it. If you’re going to go to a zoo, that’s the place to be.
When nobody had cell phones, they weren’t necessary, just like when nobody had cars, they weren’t necessary. But ask anyone (outside of NY, DC, or Israel, where the public transportation systems are widespread and efficient) if they could get around without a car. The way society functions is that when nobody has these convenience items, we all get along just fine, but once people start buying them, sooner or later everyone will have to follow suit. Just look at the Amish in America. Even they have cell phones! (Against their will, really, but they had to cave eventually.) Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s bad, but that’s the way the world works- teenage girls (and boys!) included.
mod, why aren’t my posts going up lately??? I haven’t written anything offensive.
frimchebubche, sounds like you have something in common with Why Do I Even Bother. 🙂
Joseph, for the first time I’m in total agreement with you!!
I’m not dating yet, but when I get to that stage I certainly will not get my hair and nails done every time. I’ve only had my hair professionally done three times in my life, and all three were for very special occasions. Sorry, but a date just doesn’t qualify! When I was younger, my parents used to sometimes treat me to manicures as a special reward for being helpful, or to sweeten a difficult experience (like after a shot at the doctor’s office.) Once I got older, they lost their appeal and now I also only get manicures for close family simchas. I have lots of nail polish at home and I will occasionally do my nails myself, but when I do I find it doesn’t take anywhere near as much time as it would at the salon, what with the drive and the wait. Yes, girls should look put together when they go on dates, but there’s no need to expend huge amounts of time and money on appearance. I know a girl who has beautiful curly hair. She straightened it on every single date she went on, and her husband never saw her hair curly until they were engaged. B”H they’re happily married now, but imagine if he were the shallow type- the wedding might never have happened. To all the girls out there who say they won’t put in so much effort once they’re married, you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you attract a guy who only cares about the physical, your marriage will fall apart just as soon as you move in together and he discovers you don’t wake up in the morning looking like the beautiful doll he dated. You want a guy who will love you for the rest of your life, so you should let him see what you plan to look like once you’re married. Otherwise, you’re wasting your time.
$75 for each date? Put that money to better use; give it to tzedaka.
Why do I know my Bat Mitzvah parsha? I think that’s an odd question to ask. Don’t you know yours?
I know mine because I had a big celebration when I became Bat Mitzvah and I gave a Dvar Torah in front of all my family members and friends. How did you celebrate your Bat Mitzvah? Would you be asking me this if I were a guy?
Okay, fine, here’s the “real” answer that I think you were afraid of. I wasn’t going to bring it up, but since you asked…
I leined Parshat Yitro from the Torah on the Shabbos of my Bat Mitzvah. (GASP!) You might be wondering who taught me how to lein- well, it was my mother. (DOUBLE GASP!) However, before you all start attacking me, let me explain to you that we conducted an all-female service in a separate room. Any women who were uncomfortable with it were welcome to (and did) stay in the main shul. Those women who wanted to hear me came into our room, where there were absolutely ZERO men (not even little boys. My younger brother stayed with my father in the main shul.) I read most of the parsha myself, and my mother leined the rest of it and did the Haftarah. We split up leading the davening. (And no, we did not say Kaddish or any devarim she’b’kedusha, recognizing that we did not comprise a minyan.)
I’ll be shocked if this thread does not double in size by the end of the day with long posts calling me an apikores and a reformnik. All I can say is bring them on, because we had more than adequate halachic support for what we did and I will defend it wholeheartedly to the naysayers here.
No, I’m not Sephardic, but the school I attended taught us modern Hebrew pronunciation (taf, not saf.) Call it an “accent” if you will, but I know plenty of other Ashkenazim who use the same pronunciation. You’ll notice, however, that I revert to Ashkenazic pronunciation on certain words, like Shabbos and Sukkos, because I grew up hearing people in my community pronounce them that way and it kind of stuck.
Joseph, for once, I’m speechless.
It doesn’t matter if you think the law is unreasonable, you’re still bound to adhere to it, and if you don’t, then don’t complain when you get a ticket. Society cannot function if individuals only do what makes sense to them and ignore the higher authority of law.
brooklyn19, no need to take a sarcastic tone.
If you are really unsure about a particular event and sincerely believe that there is a possibility of someone sinning as a direct result of that event- fine. Be my guest and consult a Rav, but again, I don’t think a gadol’s opinion is necessary. Why wouldn’t an ordinary Rav know enough? Anyway, I don’t see how there would be any issue with the events that were mentioned. BY plays are generally conducted in a tznius way; the girls’ costumes are extremely modest even though the audiences are all female. What kind of sinning would occur that makes it so important to ask the gadol?
I’m sorry that you misunderstood me before. Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear enough. I would never advocate “milking” gedolim “for all they’ve got”. Did you infer this from my comment about the childless couple? That was just the first example that came to mind, but certainly, gedolim have tremendous wisdom that should not c”v be “thrown out”; rather, it should not be wasted on small matters that local rebbeim can deal with. This discussion is reminding me strongly of Parshat Yitro (my bat mitzvah parsha!) Yitro instituted a system because Moshe Rabbeinu was unable to deal with the torrent of questions coming his way and was just exhausted from being on his feet all day. So Yitro gave all but the most urgent and difficult questions to lesser authorities. Shouldn’t we do the same now?
oomis, I’m very saddened by that story but glad that your son was strong enough not to let it bother him too much.
Joseph, I’m sure you tried your best, but I don’t think there is any respectful way of accusing someone of immaturity.
I wonder if there was a subconscious reason to title this thread “Girls and Cell Phones” rather than boys or teens in general. Is the implication that the answer might be different for boys?
Text messaging is an add-on; for those who are concerned about their children texting, they don’t have to pay for the texting package. If all the phone does is support incoming and outgoing calls, what’s wrong with it? For those parents who are still uneasy, I’d like to know if they let their children use the home phone. If so, do they let them use it without a parent hovering over their shoulder? So if the teens can have private conversations from the house, what’s the difference in having private conversations out of the house?
I don’t see anything wrong with text messaging, but then again I also don’t see anything wrong with boys and girls talking to each other. For those who do not want their children to mix with the other gender, perhaps it is more of an issue.
Yes, gedolim do “devote a large part of their time to the tzibbur”, but again, this is for serious issues that truly require a gadol’s opinion. Your personal Rav is not a gadol and has a lot more free time to speak to you. If you’re so worried about a play or chinese auction, speak to him. Don’t take precious minutes away from a gadol who could be helping someone else, e.g. giving a bracha to a childless couple. Wouldn’t that take precedence?
Mature adults can make decisions on their own, particularly when it comes to mundane matters. If there are halachic issues involved, then we can sit down and study them, either on our own or with a Rav. Who would object to more Torah study?
It’s unfair to the gedolim to consult them for every BY play or other small event. Ten minutes of one’s time may not be a lot, but what about the gadol who has to spend ten minutes listening to every Chani or Rochel out there? I for one would not want to be the one to distract him from his Torah learning and everything else he does for the community unless it was an urgent matter that desperately needed his attention. Does a play or Chinese auction really qualify?
Yes, I would come to a complete stop at a red light at 4:30 in the morning. In fact, I have in the past. Laws exist for a reason. Once one tries to rationalize that it is okay to break them in certain situations, it will become that much easier to do so more often.
Mods, please close this thread. Anyone who drives recklessly or exceeds the speed limit by more than 5 miles an hour should be prepared to accept a ticket. If you are really “innocent”, you can take it to court, but the tone of this thread suggests that most people are actually breaking laws and just want to find a way around it. By the way, I believe it is also illegal to warn people of speed traps. Don’t do it.
Notpashut, please explain. Your reasons are not so “obvious” to everyone.
“While we all know (hopefully) that driving on Shabbos is against the Torah and while we all also should call out anyone justifying such behavior….However, we really are in no position to judge or criticize anyone who does such things, just because you may have the benefit of a Yeshiva education.”
Huh?
Which is it? Should we “call them out” or just leave them alone because “we are in no position to criticize”?
“So why can’t you understand that Rabbanim feel it’s equally important- if not more so- to ‘ban’ things that are dangerous for the neshama?”
This argument is circular. What is the body if not a vessel to enhance the neshama? One’s purpose in life is to fulfill mitzvot and do tikkun olam, which is impossible if one is physically ill. Smoking is prohibited because a person who is lying in bed with lung cancer is limited in his or her ability to perform mitzvot. Similarly, smoking shortens a person’s life. Yes, we should be eager to get to Olam Habah, but the important thing is to maximize our time in Olam Hazeh so we can accrue as many mitzvot as physically possible. Simply put, smoking and other activities that endanger our physical health serve as barriers to Torah observance.
No need to specify gender. I loved the Yossi and Laibel books when I was young, and my brother read Junie B. Jones.
I also read the entire Matt Christopher series. The target audience is, again, elementary school boys, but I discovered his books in third grade and fell in love with them. Obviously, the author is not Jewish, but there is nothing about religion in the series; the books are all about sports.
We tend to forget that Hashem owns not only our houses, cars, and clothing, but our bodies as well. It is an absolute aveirah to destroy or injure our bodies in any way since they are only on loan from Hashem and do not really belong to us. Therefore, it is assur not only to use illegal drugs, but also to smoke cigarettes and to abuse alcohol.
See Shemot 19:5 as one of many examples that illustrate this idea.
lm, look under the “View” menu at the top of the page; there should be an option to make text bigger or smaller. On my Mac, the keystroke combination is Command and the plus sign, though I’m sure it’s different for other computers.
Okay, let’s not get political here. We know how that’s turned up in the past.
Bogen, there are different opinions regarding television but I don’t think that even the most machmir rav would suggest that television watchers forfeit their portion in olam habah. As it says in Sanhedrin, kol yisrael yesh lahem chelek b’olam habah.
EDITED by YW Moderator-72 to remove personal question
I happen to think that this is a ridiculous thread title. Of course there’s a drug problem in the frum world, and anyone who says otherwise is either EXTREMELY ignorant or else just trying to cover it up for the sake of “lashon hara” or some other such excuse. I personally know of tens of teenagers who abuse drugs as well as alcohol and cigarettes. Sadly, it is still perceived as “cool”. I think it’s terrible that in an age when we KNOW nicotine is highly addictive, and we KNOW its terrible consequences- e.g. the physical dregs of one cigarette take four weeks to completely leave the body- so many of our young adults still pick up that first cigarette. A few decades from now, many of them will probably be trying desperately to quit on doctor’s orders and will wish that they had never started in the first place, by which time it may actually be too late for them to save themselves. Illegal drugs like marijuana are a hundred times worse.
shkoyach, I believe you are searching for the word anonymity. And I don’t know about you, but regardless of suspense, I would be very curious to meet fellow YWNers in person! (Curious, want to jump in here?)
yashrus20, I know you are anti-feminist (perhaps chauvinist; I’ll let you respond to that before drawing a conclusion) but “inner anger”??? I suppose you said that in jest; I don’t find it funny. I happily disagree with you on most issues, and sometimes I can get myself really worked up, but I would never say that I am “angry” with you or even with your opinion. Indignant, yes. Shocked, sometimes. Frustrated, absolutely. But angry? No.
Re addiction, I’m somewhat proud of having made that list (not sure why!). On the other hand (maybe some of you have noticed?) I have not been on YWN quite so often lately. I’ve just been really busy with classes here, and I had to prioritize. I’ve found that once I started placing limits on my YWN time, it wasn’t so hard to refrain from going on “just to check”, as I was afraid I might do. Also, now that I’m no longer on 23/6 or whatever, I also find that when I am on I post less often. That is, I am more liable to read through a topic without posting a response now, whereas before, I usually found something to say to nearly everything. (I do have thoughts as I read about these issues, but I don’t always feel obliged to share these thoughts anymore!) I think this is a positive development. Does the olam agree/disagree?
Loyalyid, you are absolutely not “too over mannered”; eating silently and with one’s mouth closed is polite courtesy and should not be de-emphasized. However, I agree with oomis- I would rejoice if we had nothing else to worry about but this!
Incidentally, did anyone else read the Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle series as a child? One of those books has a very cute story addressing table manners. If I remember correctly, her method of correcting bad habits involved the assistance of a pet called Lester the pig. I used to love those books!
Makes perfect sense to me. However- and I am not an English Professor either- I believe that ICOT was correct in omitting the comma and quotation marks. Here’s why:
Generally, when a sentence is introduced by the words “X said that” it means that the words to follow are not direct quotes but rather paraphrases. So I could say “ICOT said that she didn’t understand Joseph’s explanation” even though her actual words were “Your explanation was way over my head.”
Along the same lines, a comma is not required because it is not a direct quote. If I were quoting directly- omitting the “that”- my sentence would then look like this:
ICOT said, “Your explanation was way over my head.”
as opposed to
ICOT said that she didn’t understand Joseph’s explanation.
Does this make sense?
I’ve been to Yad Vashem twice. It is a very emotional experience. I’ve never been to the one in DC, but I have many friends who have been to both and say that the DC one is much more well done (can I really say “better” with regard to such a subject??).
“I must’ve spaced out when I signed up, because I really wanted my sn to be Ashreichem, as an allusion to the song. Ashreinu sounds like some organization or something, though it conveys the same idea.”
Oh…I thought it was meant as a reference to “ashreinu mah tov chelkeinu, umah na’im goraleinu, umah yafah yerushateinu” (by the way, D’veykus IV does a great rendition of that!)
“How about a big YW reunion bash, where we can all meet and fight in person. Everybody will have a nametag with their username on it.”
Or…how about a big YW reunion bash without nametags? The game will be to guess who is who! 🙂
Shindy, why doesn’t your husband let you write checks for tzedakah?
I don’t know if this is the “general perception” or not, but if so, it is incredibly skewed.
There are homeless people who have jobs. ‘Nuff said.
Hmmm…if you’re really worried about bitul zman, it seems that this is the wrong place to discuss it. If your issue is that you spend an inordinate amount of time on “kosher” websites, then certainly this is a “kosher” website and a “kosher” thread since the suggestions here will help you “quit” your “addiction.” But by going online to check the thread, you will be adding to your Internet time and thus to your bitul zman…so if this is really an issue for you, I advise you to take it elsewhere!
“The penalty for violating Shabbos is death.”
Not anymore. Nobody is talking about driving to shul two thousand years ago, or two thousand years from now. The topic at hand is driving to shul in today’s times, when we do not have Mashiach or a Beit Hamikdash or a Sanhedrin, and when there is no death penalty instituted for violating Shabbos. I’m not saying that it’s a less serious transgression now- of course it’s not! But please don’t use anachronisms to make your point.