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I don’t think anyone “run
to a shrink over every little disturbance in life”. On the contrary, I think most people are afraid of the stigma of seeing a therapist and will refuse to go, claiming they “don’t need therapy”. Everyone, I mean every SINGLE person, can benefit from therapy. It’s just a question of finding a good fit (which, granted, can be extremely difficult).
“The gemara (Shabbat 62) allows a man to wear a signet ring in reshut harabbim, as it is common for men to wear those. Other rings, however, are not normally worn by men, and they thus cannot be considered a garment.”
B’zman hazeh it IS normal for men to wear wedding rings (and nobody wears signet rings anymore unless he is a king or something). The only question is whether or not that would be chukas hagoyim.
I’m an HP fan and I think it’s totally fine.
I think it’s absolutely adorable. The seller offered to check with the next highest bidder to see if he was still interested, but the parents decided to go through with the purchase because it would be a great story (and anyway only cost them a few hundred dollars).
Adderall is hardly a “heavy psychiatric drug”. It’s routinely prescribed to elementary school children.
It’s called a pet peeve because the word “pet” is here used as an adjective, not a noun. It’s a little dated, but people used to use the word “pet” to mean “favorite”. A “pet peeve” is something niggling that specifically bothers you more than it bothers others. Hence, it’s YOUR peeve– or your pet peeve, since it’s unique to you.
We got the Oz Ve’hadar Peninim. My husband did some research online but ultimately wanted to go in store to see what it looked like before buying. He is sleeping now, but I will ask him later, bli shevua, what the differences are and what he recommends for someone on a budget (as we were, btw).
When I saw the title of this thread, I thought it was referring to a bill in a restaurant!
KVH is reliable. I have inside information since my husband worked as a mashgiach when he lived in Boston.
Shticky Guy, you are truly shticky! I counted 76, but I’m probably missing a few.
Okay, so this is a little off topic, but I saw on the news last night that a toddler was playing with her mom’s smartphone and bought a clunker on eBay!! I told my husband I hope we have babies that smart 🙂
From a utilitarian perspective, if you’re naming after deceased relatives, you can get 2 names of 2 different people per child. That way, if you have a lot of people to name after, you can honor all of them.
Actually this is not true across the board. Tim Tebow, for instance, is a “frum Christian” and probably loves yidden because he thinks we are going to bring his fake messiah.
Health, you are correct. I apologize. I did not read the article you posted carefully and I assumed you were bringing some made up article about homosexuality being a learned/environmental behavior. Imagine my surprise to find that the article actually confirms what I have been saying all along– that homosexuality is biological & can be classified as an abnormality or disorder. This, of course, is incompatible with the so-called “liberal gay agenda” that you continue to assume I subscribe to. Scroll up and you will see one of my earlier posts saying exactly what the article says, that homosexuality is a biological disorder. I believe we are in agreement.
Health, you are correct. I apologize. I did not read the article you posted carefully and I assumed you were bringing some made up article about homosexuality being a learned/environmental behavior. Imagine my surprise to find that the article actually confirms what I have been saying all along– that homosexuality is biological & can be classified as an abnormality or disorder. This, of course, is incompatible with the so-called “liberal gay agenda” that you continue to assume I subscribe to. Scroll up and you will see one of my earlier posts saying exactly what the article says, that homosexuality is a biological disorder. I believe we are in agreement.
Someone created an online game called “Angry Trayvon”. Hashem yeracheim.
Health, please post the name of this person l’toeles.
“Your posts are getting more & more laughable. Who cares that he’s not a real journalist or that he is biased? He wrote an article, nothing more. My point was what was in the article. You claim you read the article, but besides cursing out Westen, you have Not refuted any of the scientific points of the article.”
If a) he is not a real journalist and b) he is biased then it logically follows that c) a reasonable person cannot trust that the article contains accurate information. I never cursed out anyone.
“I never said research is one way or another. What I was saying was some research is Pro the Gay agenda and some of it is against the Gay Agenda!”
Please reread what you just wrote. I think you are proving my point.
“By continually basing your opinions on Only the research that is Pro the Gay agenda and Not even looking at All the research, then I’ll continue to paint you as a liberal gay activist who’s selective in what research to promote.”
By continually basing your opinions on Only the research that is Anti the Gay agenda and Not even looking at All the research, then I’ll continue to paint you as a conservative extremist who’s selective in what research to promote.
Hey, what’s with all the random initial caps, anyway?
Are there trees in the forest?
“in other words, a man wants to look and a woman wants to be seen/appreciated. accordingly, the very nature of the way the nisayon presents itself cant be a cop out. a womans nisayon isnt while locked in her bedroom, it’s to be seen on the street. a mans nisayon is to see her there, and look, or look away.”
Actually, women also like to look at men. And no, this is not just the odd woman out, either. In goyishe culture women look at men just as much as men look at women. The reason we don’t see it so much in the frum community (although you never know what is inside a woman’s head) is that it is programmed into us practically from birth that we must guard against men not looking at women and women not giving men a reason to look. Nobody ever talks about women looking at men, so we assume that no sane woman would ever do such a thing. But the truth is that biologically, it cuts both ways. In fact, when I started becoming more frum in high school, I decided to stop going mixed swimming davka because I found myself looking at men at the swimming pool. For years I thought there was something wrong with me, until I realized that it was a function of my being in the presence of men who were wearing almost nothing. If you don’t give women something to look at, they won’t look. It’s EXACTLY the same phenomenon that happens in the other direction. I really wish more people would think about/acknowledge it. <endrant>
This is awesome.
My husband is at work logged in to YWN on my account because I used his computer this morning. I’m at Starbucks logged in on my computer. I go to check my e-mail, then come back and refresh the page. The latest post is from– me? Love it!
To my dear husband, if you’re reading this, I love you and I’m very proud of you (and I actually understood this!!) Can we see the bell curve exhibit the next time we’re in Boston?
To the rest of the olam, since my husband didn’t know that you can’t send private messages in the CR, if you want clarification of anything he said, just ask and I’ll have him respond here.
From jewishfeminist02’s husband: depending on the lottery, the odds of winning are more like one in several billion. There is only one winning ticket, and the number of possible tickets is the product of the number of choices for each ball. For example, in Powerball, there are 59 choices for each regular ball (5 of them) and 35 choices for the bonus ball. That makes 59 x 59 x 59 x 59 x 59 x 35 – 1 losing tickets (subtract the one winning ticket), a total of over 25 billion (25,022,350,464 to be exact). A 1 in 25 billion chance of winning say $200 million is worth a little less than a penny.
The most reasonable situation in which I can imagine someone offering $2 million (if they know the numbers on your lottery ticket, you probably have other privacy and safety issues to worry about) is if the person knows that the winning ticket was purchased at the same store as you bought it, but the person doesn’t know if you have the winning ticket or not. Strictly speaking, if 25 people bought tickets at that store, a 1 in 25 chance at $50 million is worth $2 million (and I suspect most stores sell at least 25 tickets, making this a potentially good deal).
This means that if the seller betting $2 million on a regular basis (the odds become more precise the more times you bid), the seller would on average come out even – losing $50x million from 25x bets and winning x bets worth $50x million. Technically, it’s a good deal for the seller if your odds are any worse than 1 in 25 (i.e. the store sold less than 25 tickets, such that you would have to gamble more than $50x million to recover $50x million), but it’s only a reliable predictor over many, many trials, and I assume that the seller isn’t going around offering $2 million to tons of people. This means it’s a bad deal for the seller, and you should grab it.
Here’s a more concrete example of how you need many, many bets for odds to be reliable. Imagine you bet $1 that you will roll a 4 on a regular die, with a payoff of $6 if you win. As many of us know from board games, it’s fairly easy to end up with a bunch of non-4’s for many turns, but then to get several 4’s in a row. If you can only bet once, there is an 83 1/3% chance you will lose, and a 16 2/3% chance you will win. The more you roll, the more things even out. After 100 rolls, odds are you will win around 15-20 times (I can’t remember the exact odds of ending up in that range, but I’m pretty sure it’s at least 60%). After betting $100, 15 wins would be a loss of $10 and 20 wins would be a profit of $20 (as opposed to an 80% chance of losing everything). At this point, it’s a lot less risky.
Here’s a cooler example. There’s a great exhibit in a museum in Boston that shows how a bell curve works. (For those who don’t know what a bell curve is, there are many websites that give at least something of an explanation). There is a machine that drops balls randomly from a particular point and allows them to spread out as they fall, and the balls end up stacking into the shape of a bell curve. Let’s say you bet that a ball will land at a particular spot (odds are best at the middle). Each individual ball could end up anywhere in any order. There could be a particular spot that’s only supposed to get 4 balls (and only will get 4 balls after everything falls), but the first 4 balls end up in that spot. That spot ends up with a significant profit (since the odds were slim), and everywhere else ends up with a greater loss than expected. But after those 4 balls, that spot won’t get anything else, and the balls will have to fall on the other spots.
I’m sorry if this didn’t explain things clearly. I’m kind of a probability nerd, and am trying my best to not include the greek letters, exponents, and calculus necessary to explain what’s actually going on. If anyone’s interested in a more formal and rigorous explanation, PM my lovely wife.
L’maaseh, $2 million is a good deal, and probably an amazing deal (if the seller doesn’t know anything about the ticket and it’s worth less than a penny). The only good reason not to accept the deal is if you’re planning to play the lottery millions of times and the seller is willing to buy every single ticket.
Of course, one must ask how the yid acquired the ticket to begin with, as we know that lottery tickets are an asmachta and asmachta lo kanya (Sanhedrin 24a), not to mention that a habit of gambling makes one pasul eidus (Ibid).
Very nice, but a) you’re quoting Sephardi halacha, which is not applicable to 99% of the Coffee Room, and b) you can give me all the sources in the world, but the minhag is to abstain from meat entirely, period end of story, barring of course a medical condition in which case the person would for sure be very careful about checking labels.
I am sure no one is going to serve vegetarian meat during a siyum which falls on the 9 days (which, imo, is completely designed to cater to people’s taivos). It would completely defeat the purpose.
A God-fearing Jew will not extrapolate from my post that Morningstar can be used in meat meals during the year, without checking the label. I am sure no one is cooking with their meat dishes during the 9 days.
“While there are plenty of situations that are as you describe. There is no serious scientific basis for claiming that there is no sexual desire involved on the part of the aggressor.”
Deborah Schurman-Kauflin, Ph.D., writes the following in an article in Psychology Today:
Such crimes are more common than you might think, but few know much about the rapists who stalk these victims. There is a stereotype that such predators are homosexual. However, this is not the case. Rapists who prey on males can be sexually oriented to women, men, or both. It is most typical for such rapists to be heterosexual or bisexual and living with a partner. Often, they consider themselves to be quite masculine and go overboard in projecting that image. Tattoos, excessive drinking, and having many consensual sexual partners is common. In fact, such offenders believe that the rape makes them more masculine which builds a grandiose self perception.
“Furthermore, not all homosexual encounters in prison are non-consensual. There are also plenty of consensual encounters by people who were, and return to being, heterosexual on the outside. The same thing occurs with women.”
Correct. That is why I wrote that *often* they are not consensual.
“I must have missed all the threads blasting the frum communities in Teaneck, Elizabeth, Hillcrest, etc.”
Well, for one: http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/this-is-how-to-do-it#post-334558
david24, people don’t “become gay in jail”. The things men do in jail have to do with power and authority, not sexual desire, and often they’re not consensual. 21% of male inmates report being sexually assaulted while incarcerated, and 7% report being raped.
Health, I care who Westen is because he is not a real journalist. He is biased. Show me something from a reputable news source. (And yes, I actually did read the article).
Also, your characterization of scientific research as “Anti-gay” or “Pro-gay” reveals your own bias. Research is not “anti” or “pro” anything. It is just research. I, too, am not “pro” gay, and even though I have explained to you that I don’t form my opinions based on “liberal gay propaganda” (you kindly told me that you “don’t care” where I get my information from) you continue to paint me as a liberal gay activist who swallows liberal media. Want to know what I am doing right now? Watching FOX News. I am sure I’ll get lots of “liberal gay propaganda” there.
So just don’t read them if it bothers you.
“Morningstar Farms products are certified Dairy, and shouldn’t be served at meat meals, le toelet harabim. They could be DE, but that would require checking with the OK.”
I believe the OP was looking for recipes to serve during the Nine Days, hence the request for dairy or pareve.
Incidentally, Tofurky sausage is pareve.
So where is the outrage for the rampant criticism of communities that are NOT charedi in the Coffee Room?
DaasYochid, I will quote you your earlier statement:
“It’s a good thing, yichusdik, that your community has no problems or issues, allowing you the time to do lots of research (by way of posting on YWN and seeing the responses) and become quite the expert on other communities.”
You refer to communities, not hashkafas. YWN abounds with criticism of both.
“All these studies are very weak, but the real research is Not PC as you can see from the following article…”
The article was written by a man named John-Henry Westen. Who is John-Henry Westen? A pro-life activist who runs his own news website. A failed political candidate. No scientific credentials whatsoever behind his unjustified and clearly biased attack on two renowned scientists.
Simon LeVay is a well-respected neuroscientist, educated at Cambridge and Harvard. He has had numerous articles published in scientific journals and has lectured at Stanford.
Dean Hamer is a well-respected geneticist, educated at Harvard. He was an independent researcher at NIH for years and has written three books.
Find me a real, reputable scientist who disagrees with these men– and has hard evidence to back it up– and then we’ll talk.
“I don’t see how WPG’s accomplish anything. What is the point of these groups, as there is no minyan, and no real tefillah betzibbur.”
I don’t see how a woman davening beyechida accomplishes anything. What is the point of her davening alone, as there is no minyan, and no real tefillah betzibbur.
I think we can all agree that men and women alike are chayav in prayer. Men can form a minyan and women can join a minyan. But even without a minyan, Hashem hears every individual’s prayer. When we assemble and daven together, we strengthen and inspire each other, and the quality of our prayers are immeasurably increased. This is true of a minyan, but it is also true of a group of nine men or a group of women.
Carbs are not bad! Whole grain pasta is good for you (in moderation, of course, as with anything else).
For pareve: start with a package of Morningstar or Tofurky sausage and your choice of vegetables (I like to use tomato and onion). Cut the “sausage” and vegetables into wedges and thread onto skewers. Grill (I use a grill pan, but you could easily grill these outdoors) and serve with your favorite sauce.
For milchig: mix eggs, cream or half-and-half, and cheese (I like goat cheese, but you could also use cream cheese or ricotta). Add some cooked vegetables (I use mushroom and onion). Add fresh or dried herbs. Sprinkle with mock bacon bits if you like those. Pour into a 2 qt. dish, cover, and bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes. Now you have a crustless quiche! I love this one because it’s so versatile and can be adjusted based on the ingredients you already have.
DaasYochid, in that case, I will assume that all of the heaps of criticism of the MO community expounded in the Coffee Room (not to mention the even more vitriolic criticism of Conservative, Reform, and Zionists) was written by people whose communities likewise are free from issues.
Correct. A tayva is not a choice; otherwise everyone would “choose” to get rid of all their tayvas! The choice is whether or not you act on your tayvas.
Google “Evidence for a Biological Influence in Male Homosexuality” for an article written by scientific researchers Simon LeVay and Dean H. Hamer.
Incidentally, the difference between bestiality and homosexuality is that one is a “fetish”, while the other is an overall orientation.
No, we must conclude that either a) the rabbonim approved of the attack, or b) the Chareidim aren’t really so insistent on daas Torah as they claim to be.
Breaking news: Zimmerman won’t testify. A rebuttal witness has been called.
It has been scientifically determined. Of course, you never know what new discoveries may turn up– scientists used to think the world was flat. But based on the latest advanced technology, scientists have proven to a reasonable degree of certainty that homosexuality is not a choice.
“Your hypocrisy and hatred to Charedim is astounding!
Do you hate the Israeli Gov. or the American Gov. for every crime committed in their country? Yet, you blame the Charedi leaders for every action of a “Charedi”. The leaders of the Charedim don’t even have any police powers like Govs. do.”
I’ll jump in here. I believe the OP’s point was that Charedim are utterly devoted to their rabbonim and will follow any directive without question, while American and Israeli citizens have no such concept of daas Torah with regard to their respective governments. In fact, there are countless detractors and protesters of both governments. Furthermore, the threat of cherem or not getting a good shidduch is far more effective in regulating the behavior of Charedim than any police power.
“If you say that people are born gay/rapist/murderer, you’re saying that it’s in the genes, however until this day, no such genes were discovered.”
No, I’m not saying it’s genetic at all. It’s personality. People are born with personality traits. There is no such thing as a “rapist gene” or a “gay gene”, but babies come into this world with natural predispositions for homosexuality or rape in the same way they might have a math aptitude or a liking for chocolate ice cream (despite environment and/or upbringing that would NOT cause these things, e.g. a child of English teachers going into mathematics).
How much are you willing to spend and how old is your daughter? My husband, who plays piano and has his own keyboard, says that there isn’t really much of a difference between the models when you’re just starting to learn. You won’t notice or appreciate the difference unless and until she becomes really advanced.
No, we don’t have desktops.
“I can speak to the struggles faced by Jews in Syria and Yemen on a firsthand basis.”
Really? Did you grow up in Syria and Yemen?
Go to the Yiddish Farm!
“To those who say that gay people don’t choose to be gay, why does the Torah say that mishkav zachar is an abomination and those who are guilty deserve the death penalty?”
It’s very simple.
Some people are born gay. It is not a choice. But BEING gay is also not an aveirah. It is only ACTING on it that brings the death penalty. Many people have pointed out that some are born with a natural inclination to rape and murder, but we don’t excuse their behavior because “they were born that way”. This is very true. We don’t excuse the behavior of rapists and murderers. But a person who is born with the inclination to rape and never commits a rape has done nothing wrong. In fact, he is a true tzaddik.
We all have the yetzer hara for something or other. Some men have a yetzer hara that gives them the desire to partner with other men. They didn’t ask for that desire. All we can require of them is that they not listen to it. But claiming that they don’t have that yetzer hara in the first place, or that they acquired it later in life because of environmental conditioning, or liberal media, or what have you, makes a mockery of their struggles.
“I guess the two of you didn’t comprehend my post.”
No, I comprehended it fine. I just didn’t change my mind because of it.
“I don’t know if any gay person is born that way, but I do know many that became that way and it wasn’t inside of them at all, hidden or in the closet or otherwise. I know it’s hard to believe all the Liberal propaganda that people are exposed to, esp. in the media, about gays is False.”
Again I ask you: why would a person choose to become gay? Why on earth, if it really is a choice, would anyone decide to drastically limit their pool of potential partners and become a target of criticism? It just doesn’t make sense.
Furthermore, this is not coming from exposure to “liberal propaganda in the media”. I certainly see other perspectives on homosexuality on a regular basis, not least from right here in the Coffee Room. I have read a lot about the topic and thought a lot about the topic. When I was in college, I actually became more conservative as a result of seeing everyone around me being rabidly liberal. It is an insult to my intelligence for you to tell me that I have, in effect, been duped by the media. I have not. I came to these conclusions on my own.
My husband and I both have Mac laptops.
I agree. I also think that the option of gays marrying lesbians should be more seriously considered. There have been a number of these marriages already. They will never have sexual fulfillment, but at least it gives them companionship and an opportunity to start their own families.