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They have to cover their expenses and raise money on top of that. Even a dinner cruise costs a lot of money. In order to make it worth the time, effort, and expense of planning and advertising the event, they have to charge a premium. If you can’t afford it, don’t come. But don’t expect a yeshiva fundraiser to give you a dinner cruise at cost.
“I have a list of gifts I expect to recieve [sic] with parameters to insure [sic] that they’re what I want.”
That is not a gift, by definition. A gift is given freely out of genuine goodwill and should be appreciated as such, not “expected” or resented if it doesn’t meet whatever criteria.
I felt uneasy about “registering” for wedding gifts, because I didn’t like the idea of asking our guests outright for gifts. In the end, we did create a registry, actually because so many people asked us if we had one. Our guests really wanted to choose gifts that they knew we would use and appreciate. But we tried to emphasize that the greatest gift anyone could give us was their presence at our chasunah. Because we grew up in different places, our friends and family lived far from each other and no matter where we had the wedding, somebody would have to travel. It was a real source of pain for my husband that most of his side was unable to make the trip, and I would have gladly given up half of our gifts in exchange for more guests on his side if I could have. It was mamash heartbreaking to look around the room and see so many of “my people” and only a handful of his.
I am not familiar with the psak, but if the OP is correct that R’ Karelitz paskens that one “need not” return the phone, that is not the same thing as saying that one “may not” return the phone. Maybe you don’t have to take the initiative to seek out the owner, but if you have the phone and know who it belongs to, why not return it?
That’s terrible! Why would the shadchan ruin that special moment for you?
You could also try a gemach.
Exactly! We don’t know what happened! As I posted on another thread, it is completely pointless to “argue with the question”. You have the take the OP’s story as a given. Obviously IF she could get up on her own, etc etc the boys need not have helped her. But, ASSUMING SHE DID NEED HELP, did they act correctly or not? That is the only question, and the OP’s judgments are irrelevant.
Buying multiple smaller volume drinks costs more than buying one supersize drink. And drinks loaded with sugar are linked to higher weight gain than sugar-free drinks.
Veltz Meshugener, are you being serious? If so, I really have no words…
Gamanit, it is unfair to judge this anonymous person “based on the way seminary girls tend to talk”. And nobody is arguing that she was seriously injured, only that it’s possible for her to have been temporarily trapped on the ground for more than three seconds.
“Now regarding your conclusion, I disagree strongly that the egg was broken as a result of the couple having too many eggs. The egg broke because the couple was careless with their egg. They could have had one egg and broken it.”
You are, so to speak, “arguing with the question”. Admittedly, the parable is a little crude, but you should answer to the given premise, not substitute your own.
In the long term, lawyers have a better financial outlook than doctors. 8 years of education (and therefore loans) versus 3 years makes a big dent in a doctor’s salary.
Cruises are expensive. $600 is actually quite reasonable. Obviously it is beyond the budget of many families, but it is a good price for what it is.
Neither of us gave gifts in the yichud room. We bought him a Shas and a Fraenkel Rambam, but not until well after the wedding.
frumnotyeshivish, first-year associates can make $160K straight out of law school. Can the same be said for doctors? And do you see lawyers being shipped off to residencies in random places, working 36 hour shifts at a time for years?
Agreed, but it was poorly worded. That’s why everyone misunderstood.
Medicine is not that great anymore. You’ll spend all of your best years in school, taking out hundreds of thousands of dollars in loans, and nowadays you won’t even make enough later on to really justify it (unless you go into one of a few specific specialties– neurology, pathology, radiology, dermatology, and two others I’m forgetting). Law, as a whole, has greater earning potential and you only need three years of grad school before entering the field.
At one of our sheva brachos, we had digital pictures from the wedding playing on a continuous loop on a screen, and one of our wedding centerpieces on the buffet table. We also used our wedding bentchers for the sheva brachos. Even a few non-Jewish friends (my husband met them in college) came and had a great time.
Why do you ship cargo and drive a shipment?
Why are there two threads for this?
There are definitely situations in which it is permitted to lie (see Kesubos 16 for the Hillel/Shammai machlokes on keitzad merakdim). However, I am not certain whether or not a heter exists for the situations you mentioned.
Credit to my husband.
“The only thing I like about the Boston area is the houses. They’re charming, historical, and beautiful, but probably cost an arm and a leg. “
Well, if you prefer to pay an arm and a leg in New York to live in a little box of an apartment that you will never own, that’s your prerogative. Personally, if I’m going to spend an arm and a leg on housing, I want to get something out of it (equity, a backyard, a place to park, a house with character, space for a guest room and storage, etc.).
Or you could live someplace that has affordable housing AND the above mentioned perks, such as Dallas, Memphis, Atlanta, Milwaukee, or Denver.
Some are capable; some aren’t. Whatever the reason, the vast, vast majority of pilots, engineers, and bus drivers are men (also taxi drivers, btw).
Transferring will cause you to lose your class rank.
Middos are most important, but of course I also value intelligence.
In England, eggplants are called aubergines.
You could ask my husband.
popa, how is this “making friends”, and how is it not tachlis?
Anonymous, thank you. I understand what you are saying; I just don’t like generalizations because they lead to inaccuracies, not to mention unnecessary negative judgments of people one doesn’t know. But you do make some valid points. Thank you for clarifying.
oomis, thank you for your many intelligent and well-reasoned posts.
“Its quite common for long term roommates (housemates, whatever) to end uphaving joint accounts, shared assets, often buying a house or car together. When the relationship ends (voluntarily or through death), it can create great complications (and of course, great opportunties for parnassah for lawyers).
And it has nothing to do with gender or sex.”
Where do you live? I have never met or heard of a single person using the arrangement described above. Neither has my husband.
It makes sense to share grocery bills, cleaning expenses, etc. But a joint bank account and a shared car? Why would anyone do that, and where are they hiding?
Are white teeth reason enough to travel from Brooklyn or Manhattan all the way to Cambridge just to see the dentist?
Why is this inappropriate? I don’t understand.
That’s referring to Rosh Hashana/Yom Kippur. Unmarried men may serve as shaliach tzibbur during the rest of the year. In fact, if you’ve ever been to an Orthodox minyan at a college Hillel, the only married man there is the rabbi and generally the students lead the davening. Or for that matter, in camp, usually the unmarried counselors lead davening, and sometimes even the campers themselves.
As usual, credit goes to my husband.
The original comment was tongue in cheek; so was my modification. Sorry if that wasn’t clear.
You’re describing older singles who have roommates/suitemates. Nothing wrong with that, but I’ve never heard of an arrangement in which they share assets.
My mom used to have a phobia of highway driving, and once, she was trying to merge, and freaking out, and the next song on her Carlebach CD came on “oyoyoyoyoy”….and she was like, “Yeah, I agree!!” lol
No one can say which is more painful, except (maybe) someone who has been single for a long time, then married twice, widowed and divorced.
I personally would prefer to be widowed than never married. At least one should experience love and then have it taken away, rather than never have it at all. Besides, that way one can still have children.
Actually, the middle of the knight is more like his shoulder, because that’s where a man’s center of gravity is. A woman’s center of gravity is at her hips, so the belly button would be (approximately) the middle of the damsel.
Wikipedia does, I’m sure, have a lot of information about bariatric surgery, but I think the OP was looking for a personal account of what it was like and whether or not it’s worth it.
I am sorry I can’t help. May Hashem guide you to the right decision, and may you have a complete refuah.
Okay, but it’s the same topic…why not just say what you have to say in one place?
The difference between someone who has been married and then divorced or widowed and someone who has never been married is that the first group has some understanding of how a marriage works. My mother has been on dates with men in her age group who have never been married and she comes home and tells me that they have absolutely no clue about compromise and give and take. I am not saying that men who have never been married are deliberately inconsiderate, or that they cannot marry women who have been married. But there is a general trend that it’s difficult for them to relate to each other.
1. Bachurim from Gush also wear white shirts and black pants. They are not required to, but I know many who do so voluntarily. Furthermore, I don’t understand your assumption that Gush boys would certainly have helped this girl. Please explain how you came to this conclusion.
2. Most likely the conversation started out regarding travel tips and then took a tangent. Have you never heard of such a thing as a tangent? You obviously don’t spend much time in the CR.
3. So people who are yeshivish never have ANYTHING negative to say about others who are yeshivish, just like people who are modern never have ANYTHING negative to say about others who are modern? If someone does something that is genuinely hurtful and determined to be wrong (I am not saying the bachurim in this story are definitively wrong, but let’s just posit for a second that they are) and no names are involved, why wouldn’t a yeshivish woman tell this story? In fact, if popa is correct and this seminary girl would have been embarrassed had the bachurim helped her, she is probably pretty yeshivish. Obviously I am not advocating lashon hara, but sometimes you just need to vent about something and there is absolutely no way to find out who these bachurim are.
4. See #2. Also, I really don’t think she was advocating not sending girls to Israel. If she wanted her friend to take anything away from the story (which is not necessarily true) it could be to pack lighter, or to advise her daughter that Israelis DO speak good English and she should feel comfortable asking (a point alluded to in the OP’s subsequent post).
5. You don’t know who the person is or how she would have told the story if she were yeshivish. You don’t even know how she DID tell the story; you only have a secondhand account from the person who heard the story. You are mamash fabricating things. Furthermore, I am very, very much offended that you would so blatantly and incorrectly state that only the yeshivish keep shomer negiah. I do not personally identify as yeshivish and I am very careful not to use the term “ultra-Orthodox” because I find it to be denigrating to the yeshivish crowd. But I keep shomer negiah, and most of my community does as well.
I would appreciate an apology.
I’m not so sure it’s a bad thing that Weiner didn’t sponsor a ton of legislation. I have actually read articles lambasting Congress for being “unproductive” in years that had fewer legislation enacted. In my opinion, a “productive” Congress is one that enacts sound legislation, not one that just produces new laws for the purpose of producing new laws.
But yes, Weiner did like to make noise.
“Jewish feminist, wrong mosholim can be very misleading, and are often a way of making a really off the mark point.”
What, exactly, is a “wrong moshol”?
My point (which I do not think has been understood by anyone, but in my opinion should have been obvious) was that when Hashem gave us the political power to create and defend a state for ourselves, we was offering us a lifeboat. Many of us eagerly boarded the lifeboat; others prefer to continue drowning in golus based on the assumption that “Hashem will save us”. Well, guess what? Hashem is right here under our noses trying to save us and we’re too busy name-calling to notice!
Why not?
Certainly no earlier than midnight and really more in the 2-4 A.M. range.
How does one know that one has an ayin hora?
Anonymous1000, you are mamash making things up out of thin air.
1) Nowhere is the term “ultra Orthodox” mentioned in the original post (or the subsequent follow-up post). For all we know, the yeshiva bachurim could have been Gush boys.
2) Nowhere is any sort of conclusion drawn about any group of people except for the particular group of yeshiva bachurim who were literally involved in the incident itself.
3) Nothing was mentioned about the friend herself except to say that she told her the story.
4) Nowhere did she say that one should not send one’s daughter to Israel because of this.
5) Nowhere did the OP mention her friend’s affiliation with a “group” or the level of observance of shomer negiah in her social circle.
Look at the facts before you make assumptions about people.
Now that the original thread has been dug up, can we close either this one or that one?
It depends on the song.
Maybe you should try them all out and see for yourself!