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I’ve done it, but only when solicited. I did think it was a little weird that someone I barely knew posted publicly in an online forum that she was looking for a shidduch for her friend whom I didn’t know at all, but obligingly I suggested my cousin, whom I know well, based on the description she gave (she provided her e-mail address, so I could do it without broadcasting my cousin’s details to the whole Internet world). I don’t know if anything ever came of it. I assume that the friend in question had asked for her to make inquiries; I would never have gotten involved if I suspected that this person was not open to random suggestions.
I will be five next month!
Sure, I’ll even forgive you for the spelling error in the title of this thread! 😛
But seriously, I know tensions can run high in the CR because we are all so passionate about Torah, and I love that, but it can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Please forgive me for anything I have written that was hurtful for any reason.
“And I’m TELLING you…”
Straight out of Bais Yaakov, complete with emphatic hand gestures.
My husband doesn’t say it. He finds Kiddush Levanah to be problematic for similar reasons, but nevertheless, since it’s more mainstream to say Kiddush Levanah he says that but doesn’t say Machnisei Rachamim which is considered more controversial (I think; he’s sleeping so I can’t ask him now).
“Before you start learning any Torah you must recognize this is Toras Hashem and it is totally Emes. Anything that doesn’t make sense to you is a flaw in you based on how you think or due to your prejudices. Torah is not a subject that you tackle with your brains and decide what’s right and what’s wrong. Its all Toras Emes. You have to park your pride. Its not about you its about what Hashem is trying to teach you and you will never understand it if you are always trying to make it fit your brain and preconceived notions attitudes and what you decide is rational and logical. When you come to learn Torah you should say I know nothing. Hashem teach me. Rebbe teach me. Otherwise it’s like you are trying to fit a square block into a round hole.”
WIY:
This is totally not about prejudice and it’s not about pride (tee hee). You are saying something unbelievable here. You are saying that when a person sits down to learn Torah, he or she needs to TURN OFF THE BRAIN. If you come in saying I know nothing and anything that is confusing to me is due to a personal flaw, you will not learn anything ever. Torah is all about asking questions, about using the logic and reasoning and intellect that Hashem gave us for this very purpose, about struggling, about push and pull. I have never personally witnessed this but I hear from my brother and husband that there are some male chavrusas who mamash YELL at each other while they are learning (and the poskim in the Gemara insult each other constantly l’sheim shamayim). You cannot go in saying I know nothing, I am nothing and you cannot suppress your intellect while you are learning. This applies to Gemara, halacha, and anything else you might be learning. There are so many fascinating teshuvos out there and we only have the benefit of learning them because some people thought to ask shailos. Likewise kashyas, likewise the hypothetical situations mentioned in the Gemara that can border on the absurd in terms of possibility. Those situations only came up because somebody decided to think about “but wait, what if…?” You don’t come up with “what if” if all you are doing is accepting learning into your brain like a sponge. You have to turn it around and ponder it and think about it and DO SOMETHING WITH IT. The reason there are different shittas out there is that different rabbonim have different brains and think differently. I cannot imagine that you would tell me that only rabbonim are allowed to use their brains while learning. Don’t you realize that every Rav was once a young bachur, and every Rebbetzin a young girl?
“The Talmud says (Sanhedrin 91b) that whoever refuses to teach Torah to another Jew is stealing his inheritance from him. The Torah says, ‘The Torah that Moses taught us is an inheritance of the Congregation of Jacob’ (Deut. 33:4). Therefore, the Torah belongs to all Jews, by ancestral right. Thus, if you refuse to teach a Jew Torah, you are stealing his inheritance, his birthright.”
Tell that to the day schools that are charging so much for tuition that families are factoring the cost of day school into the number of children they choose to have, and/or going without true necessities in order to pay the tuition, or sending to public school, or homeschooling, etc etc.
Sorry to hijack, but I just thought it was an important point to mention.
I meant it (slightly) tongue in cheek.
Bookworm120, just ask for the recipe. No need to mention that you don’t know what “type” it is. I’m sure they’d be happy to share the recipe and wouldn’t think badly of you for asking.
Does anyone know if there are community directories for the communities that have been mentioned (or those that haven’t been mentioned?) In Baltimore, we have an “Eruv Book” which, in addition to contact information for families and businesses, also has minyan and shiur listings, list of acceptable hechsherim, list of local Jewish agencies and programs, school information, zmanim, local attractions, travel information, guide to halachos, etc.
I am wondering if something equivalent exists in other communities, since it would really be helpful for my husband and me in our research.
Country boy.
(And I did, in fact– my husband grew up in a town of about 5,500 people).
I find this neither funny nor offensive.
Who has “unused minutes” in their day? I certainly don’t!
I don’t think there is such a thing as an injection that doesn’t hurt going in at all. Most hurt for just a second and some are accompanied by tingling.
Of course, society will never know for sure what a lethal injection feels like.
A chandelier in a sukkah? That doesn’t sound very safe to me…there is a very good chance that a wind will come and shake it and the beams will not be strong enough to support the chandelier…
“*Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours?
When babies *do* sleep, they’ve very quiet.”
When people say they “slept like a baby”, they don’t generally mean that they slept quietly. They mean that they slept deeply.
“*Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
People don’t like pain, up to the very last minute. That’s why the difference between the different Harigos Beis Din.”
Sterilized needles are no less painful than unsterilized needles, only more hygienic and safer.
How do I contact a moderator?
My husband is a big Beatles fan.
There is a person in the CR who knows me, and who has posted things about his life experiences that include me in great detail. He has also revealed who he is. Therefore, anyone who visits the CR and knows him can figure out who I am. That disturbs me.
You don’t need to ask all 1000 questions. Not all may be relevant to you. But it’s helpful to have 1000 available so that you never run out of things to ask.
jbaldy: Not if they did nothing wrong.
popa: Actually, that was me (I pick things up from him) and I did mean spousal privilege, although rereading jbaldy’s post I now realize that the line of questioning was not specified.
Ohh…I totally thought it was a different user!!
Many of us know each other. It’s like dominoes– if one person chooses to reveal his identity, he may (inadvertently) “out” those of us who aren’t interested in going public.
Yes, they are all written in his voice. I assume that the content of the stories is true (possibly with minor details changed for clarity etc) and just told over in his own style.
I can recommend a similar book, not written for a Jewish audience but nevertheless very helpful. It is called Intellectual Foreplay, and no, it is not at all racy despite the title.
Yes, sorry, I meant to write xenophobe, not homophobe.
Haleivi: I would not call it a “shortcoming” to have grown up in a non-observant home. A “shortcoming” implies a flaw of some sort. To the contrary, I think baalei teshuvah and geirim are to be admired for their strength and d’veykus. They have nisyonos that FFBs cannot possibly imagine, and on the whole, they have a love and appreciation for frumkeit that most of us can only dream of. My father was a baal teshuvah. So is my husband. It is not, however, necessary for him to “keep in touch with someone in Kiruv and Chinuch”. He has his rav, just like everyone else. Kiruv rebbeim were very helpful when he was just discovering Judaism, but there is no reason for him to check in with them anymore.
HEY! If we are going to have a maharat, it should be me! (for obvious reasons!)
“And you should, of course, never say ‘of course,’ because if it were so obvious, of course it would not be necessary to say it.”
Same goes for “needless to say”. If it’s needless to say, then why are you saying it??? MAJOR pet peeve.
“The government can threaten to bring anyone to the stand they want (elderly grandparents, wives etc.) and can completely destroy a persons livelihood and reputation.”
Nope. Spousal privilege.
Gerim and BTs should not envy FFBs for getting shidduchim with racists and homophobes. It’s great that you have a built-in filter for those who are overly judgmental.
We just attended a wedding on Sunday. The choson was FFB and the kallah was a giyores. They are such a sweet couple. It is not true that gerim and BTs can only marry each other.
“I would probably personally not object to optional mixed seating during the meal except for the fact that the dancing is in the same room and all of the men sitting around the women’s dance floor have front row seats, which I do not think is appropriate.”
It doesn’t have to be set up symmetrically. I have been to weddings that had the (mixed) reception tables on the men’s side of the mechitza for dancing, so there was no reason for men to be on the women’s side.
Cancer is generally not preventable.
There are certain exceptions– for example, lung cancer and skin cancer. Most cancers, however, cannot be kept away by any kind of “communal project”.
Yes, you should have offered to help her. There is no harm in offering; even if she says no, she will appreciate the gesture. Furthermore, there is nothing untoward about you helping her carry her groceries to the car. Everything is completely public and there is no risk of accidental physical contact. I have definitely been in situations like this one and wished that someone would help me but no one did. She may want/need help or she may not, but you lose nothing by asking.
What is wrong with sanctioning the presence of gay soldiers in the army? What would you have gay people do, exactly? Just commit suicide because they have no right to exist?
My husband loves seltzer. Neither of us drink real soda.
Sketch is an English word. It could be Hebrew slang, or a cognate, or one of those English words that has wormed its way into common usage in Israel. But it is definitely an English word.
I really like the one with the shoes!
Thanks!
My favorite teacher from high school is my friend now. She wasn’t at the time, but we stayed in touch after I graduated and she told me that since I wasn’t her student anymore, I could call her by her first name. We are very close now.
Thanks, eclipse!
How do you re-season a cast iron skillet?
Those questions are out there already. I don’t think Sam2 is encouraging people to spread the questions. But knowing that many frum Jews have already been exposed to the questions, he offers a framework for us to view them and to feel confident that we have the correct answers.
Those questions are out there already. I don’t think Sam2 is encouraging people to spread the questions. But knowing that many frum Jews have already been exposed to the questions, he offers a framework for us to view them and to feel confident that we have the correct answers.
Those questions are out there already. I don’t think Sam2 is encouraging people to spread the questions. But knowing that many frum Jews have already been exposed to the questions, he offers a framework for us to view them and to feel confident that we have the correct answers.
Shopping613, “sketch” is also a term that means a comedy act.
It just doesn’t sound to me like the situation is one of “outright abuse”. To those who are recommending that the OP protest or even get a lawyer: why? Can you imagine complaining to a lawyer, “my CPS supervisor is abusive!” Really, how is she abusive? “well, she keeps telling me what to do…and she has this annoying southern voice…” I mean, come on!!! It may be that the situation is actually worse than this, but based on what has been posted I recommend to just suck it up since there is no real indication of any abuse or mistreatment happening. It is her JOB to tell you what to do. You may not like her tone, but that does not mean she is being abusive.
I’ll be your best friend if…
I don’t have a cast iron skillet yet, although it is on my wish list. The grill pan that I use was $20 at TJ Maxx and worth every penny. I use it for basically everything, but my favorite thing to make in it is definitely grilled asparagus.
what’s in a name: Huh? Why would you speak on behalf of Toi? I made it pretty clear that my parents never “provided me with a lock”, that I only once actually used the lock, and then for something entirely innocent, and that I was not a young child at the time (hence no safety concerns).
I don’t know why you are involved with Child Protective Services and I don’t need to know. But it sounds like it is in your best interest to bite your tongue, swallow your pride and go along with everything this woman says. Otherwise you could end up ch”v losing your kids. Hopefully if she sees you falling into line, she will make a good report to her supervisor and the situation will be over sooner rather than later. Hatzlacha.