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“I lump them all together because frankly, the women I’ve met from Hadar/Drisha were interchangeable frumkeit wise with those in YCT. And they say the same things.”
I know a lot of people affiliated with all three of these institutions and anecdotally, I don’t find that to be true at all. There is some, but not much, hashkafic overlap between Hadar and YCT. Drisha is an entirely different group.
“how do you nurture that spark of desire to learn seriously for so many hours a day?”
If you place yourself in the right environment, you will genuinely enjoy it more and more the longer you do it.
“If I want to do the same, do I need a really good rav or chavrusah, or can one improve simply by learning alone and with onl average chavrusahs?”
I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to “click” with your teachers and chavrusas. I have had some awkward situations with chavrusas and honestly, if it isn’t a good fit you’ll just find yourself disliking the whole experience and that will move you backward. Lechatchila, absolutely, find yourself a rav and/or chavrusa who works well with you. B’dieved, learn alone (but make sure you at least have someone you can go to when you get stuck).
“how do you get proficient in learning rishonim and acharonim- does practice make perfect?”
Yep. No special tricks. Just sit with a dictionary and make your way through it.
“Above all, if I really want to learn seriously, how do get to a level where I can do that confidently and it is fun too (without asking for a rebbi to go thru it with u)?”
It will come with time. I would suggest including some challenging material in your learning as well as some material that you are familiar with or that you find easier, so you don’t feel like you are breaking your head the whole time. The more you succeed with the easier stuff, the more you will feel empowered to tackle the harder stuff.
Brandeis
Mitoch shelo lishma, ba lishma
“SO Mods close this forum b4 I report this website to the gedolim”
Do you have the personal ear of the gedolim? And do you think that the gedolim generally spend their time policing the Internet? And do you think that the gedolim have the power to shut down websites they deem inappropriate? If so, I really think they have many places to go before they even dream of checking up on YWN…
America: you’ll be close to home, avoid the hassles of traveling, no language barrier, your family can come visit you/you can go home for shabbos and chagim.
Israel: it’s eretz hakodesh.
“(FTR: I have taken to calling YCT rabbis ‘Mrs.’ This is not meant as a slight; rather, I am respecting their desire for equality with women. Since I cannot call females ‘rabbi’, I reach equality by calling them “Mrs.”)”
YCT rabbis are not looking for “equality with women”. They want to expand women’s ritual participation insofar as halacha allows. Not the same thing at all. By the way, if you want to “respect” someone, call him by what he calls himself or asks you to call him, not your own appellation based on what you think his identity is.
As much as I disagree with many of the goals and ideas of YCT, I would not call those affiliated with Chovevei “ovrei aveirah” and I certainly don’t think that leitzanus at their expense is appropriate in any way. Some of your comments were funny, but they were misdirected. What is your goal here? Are you just trying to make a funny joke? Make a joke about something else; you have plenty of material. Are you trying to make a serious critique of Chovevei? Then do it in a serious– and respectful– way.
Incidentally, here is a quote from an article Rabbi Lopatin published a year and a half ago:
“Maybe after Dovid was stillborn – There were twins remaining in Rivka’s womb.”
Vayiml’u yameha laledet. It is clearly stated that she was bearing twins long before she actually gave birth to any child.
Isn’t this the third recent thread on basically the same subject? Can we consolidate, please?
“Yes the best fiction is challenging – try James Joyce’s Ullyses, Kafka’s The Trial and Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace, Samual Beckett etc – they are all difficult to read but rewarding in the long run.”
With all due respect to Rabbi Nachman, his stories do not have the literary value of the work of Kafka and Joyce.
Incidentally, if you are only friends with this guy because you want to get invited to parties and siyums, it sounds like middah keneged middah, if you know what I mean.
Don’t ask for advice on a personal matter from someone who doesn’t know you well. Go to your rav who has known you for years rather than chasing after a rav you don’t know who may be more famous. Your rav knows best how to advise you because he is already well apprised of your situation.
Redleg, I respectfully disagree. No matter how experienced the shadchan is, she is not EVER going to know more than the girl (who, by the way, could easily be older than twenty, or could be a very mature twenty-year-old) about what she in particular needs in a spouse. The most important thing for girls in the parsha is to know who they are and what they want, and not to settle for something they don’t want just because all their friends are getting engaged. Shadchanim can be really hurtful and really pushy. Shidduchim is such an emotional roller coaster and it feels so unfair when everyone is trying to take control of the most important decision you will ever make.
I’m sure he was very embarrassed by the incident. Please do not ask him to pay for the chair; you will only further embarrass him.
“Having read widely I would say the greatest Jewish writer of the frum world of literature is
1. Rabbi Nachman of Breslov – his stories border on mystical fantasy and create amazing worlds full of beggars with super powers, lost princesses, evil cults etc.”
Having just finished reading an English translation of the collected stories of Rabbi Nachman, I have to disagree.
The stories are long, complex, and feature many characters, almost all unnamed, and sub-sub-subplots. It is extremely difficult to keep track of who’s who and what’s what. I found myself frequently flipping back a few pages to remind myself where I was in the story. This is a structural issue, so I really don’t think it would be any easier to get through in the original Yiddish (and besides which, the translators wrote an extended introduction basically saying that every word of Rabbi Nachman’s is precious and meaningful and therefore they didn’t change anything). Sure, the fantasy stuff is fun, but not if you can’t actually understand it.
Yes, absolutely!
So that the children will ask (in the context of the Seder)
berntout:
“we should oppose kashrus and other toeiva violations as well”
Really? Are you going to start a letter-writing campaign to politicians to urge them to close down McDonalds?
Community theater is usually not a huge time commitment and can be a lot of fun. Research community theater in your area and see what you find.
An old-fashioned apothecary!
I used to work in a grocery store and I want to tell you that it is so hard to be on your feet for hours and to deal with managers who treat you like garbage. It is emotionally and physically draining and you really cannot understand how hard it is until you’ve been there. It doesn’t excuse mistreating customers (I never intentionally did that) but try to have a little sympathy.
“Its a non Jewish song and you got the name wrong. Try googling for it but from what I heard he isn’t happy that he was recorded and doesn’t want people to have that recording but obviously he can’t control what people do.
There’s no way its on youtube because he would have them take it down. I know people who have it on their ipods.”
Inherent contradiction there. Does he have control or doesn’t he?
If I may step into haifagirl’s shoes for a moment:
“…regarding your subtitle, I have a habit of NOT reading subtitles as I think they are quite pointless. It behooves me why people bother the mods with such silliness.”
“It behooves me” means “it benefits me”, which I’m sure you did not intend to say. Maybe you meant “it befuddles me”?
A sexual relationship between two men is called to’eivah, abomination. But guess what? Plenty of other things are called to’eivah (for instance, kashrus) and we don’t seem to protest against them when we see them carried out among non-Jews.
I heard this from my rav. Very cute story.
A misachek b’kubya (lit. a dice player, the gemara’s term for a gambler) is pasul eidus for two reasons: a) it’s k’ilu gezel (because the other players hope to beat him, so they don’t have real yei’ush on their money) and b) he is not involved in yishuv ha’olam. The second reason would not apply to an occasional gambler.
I have not heard anything about gambling with respect to the Satan, or that it extends to the gambler’s family.
(This is me, not my husband; I just learned it last week).
It’s not a popularity contest. “Being universally popular” has nothing to do with fulfilling the criteria of Moshiach. Moshiach will unite the Jewish people, bring world peace, end world hunger, and rebuild the Beis Hamikdash. Anyone who does all that, I should think, would be recognized by everyone as Moshiach.
“The irony is the legalism about whether or not you had jurisdiction over him and your username. Halchically it is him having jurisdiction over you not visa versa, it would sound more like you should have run the legalism.”
It was secular legalism (my husband is a law student) and my “jurisdiction” over him was because I was proposing.
It’s very important to marry someone who loves learning, regardless of how much time he has to learn. As for whether he should be a talmid chacham– that’s more subjective.
I had to run an errand this morning, and when I got home, I saw that my husband was very upset. I asked him what was wrong and he replied, “I’ve been doing study abroad paperwork for law school and I haven’t learned at all yet today!” It made me so proud to hear how he yearns for Torah.
I proposed by making a scrapbook of our time together and at the end of the scrapbook there was a page that said “will you marry me?” with check boxes for yes and no. The “no” box was shaped like a square and the “yes” box was shaped like a ring. I handed him a pen and he checked off “yes” (but not before going through a bunch of legalism about whether or not I had jurisdiction over him– luckily I appreciate his sense of humor!)
It wasn’t a surprise because we both knew we were going to get engaged, so he had the ring with him. Interestingly enough, he is makpid that traditional proposals are too similar to kiddushin. He took out the ring, put it down and declared it hefker, and then I picked it up and put it on my finger. The whole thing was really adorable and it’s a memory that I’ll treasure forever.
Um…what?
The term “African-American”, regardless of what you think its meaning *should* be, is defined as black Americans of African descent. Google it if you’re skeptical.
Why is it that when people ask halachic questions, everyone responds with “DON’T TRY TO PASKEN FROM THE CR!!!!” even when it’s clear that the person is not actually asking for psak…but on the other hand, we are uber comfortable with making assumptions and jumping to conclusions and offering unsolicited judgments regarding people’s personal lives?
My husband says that if you can’t afford the Mossad HaRav Kook for the Rashbas and Ritvas, either hold off altogether, or buy the cheapest set you can find in the meantime. The Rav Kook set is really, truly worth it and no other set is comparable. The footnotes and annotations of the Mossad HaRav Kook Rashbas and Ritvas are written by serious talmidei chachamim and add, k’vyachol, nearly as much to one’s understanding of the Gemara as the Rishonim themselves do. Look in particular at the Ritva on Yevamos, which is two very thick volumes in which the commentary greatly exceeds the text of the Ritva.
As for the shita mekubetzes, I’m not familiar with the different sets so unfortunately I can’t make a recommendation. But I’m curious: why do you want one? It’s not difficult to obtain the basic Rishonim al haShas (Ramban, Rashba, Ritva, Ran, etc) and the Rishonim quoted in the shita mekubetzes are much less likely to be brought down l’maaseh.
Okay, so basically what you are saying is this:
I won’t tell you whom to vote for, but here is a summary of Booker’s platform.
1. Booker says Lonegan supports the government shutdown. Therefore that means Booker is Obama’s “puppet” and you shouldn’t vote for him.
2. The Huffington Post opposes Lonegan. Therefore you should vote for Lonegan.
3. Lonegan called Booker extreme. So Booker called Lonegan extreme. Therefore you shouldn’t vote for Booker because he just likes to call people extremists when he has nothing better to say.
4. See #1.
I also know a South African girl who filled in “African-American”. Personally, I think this sort of thing is geneivas da’as and should not be encouraged.
There used to be such a thing as black magic that actually worked and was ossur. The goyim practiced it all the time (Pharaoh and his astrologers/magicians, for instance). Why did Hashem allow it to work? I don’t know, but He did. It could be that he allows some of it to work nowadays as well.
Oomis, I think the idea is that you can have quality coffee (not instant) in a single serving, without having to make a whole pot of coffee that won’t get finished.
If you force her to go to a psychologist when she doesn’t want to, it won’t help at all. Worse, she’ll assume that you’ve given up on her and are just palming her off onto the psychologist to “fix” her. Don’t offer her special incentives, either, and don’t threaten her. There is no reason for you to treat her differently in this regard than the way you would treat any of your other students.
She should not be allowed to cause disruptions in class. You need to be really strict on this point for the sake of the other students. The first time per class that she causes a disruption, calmly tell her that her behavior will not be tolerated and continue with your lesson. The next time she does it in the same class, just ignore her. She is clearly crying out for attention, and if she sees that disruptions won’t get her the attention she wants, she’ll stop. But do continue to spend time with her outside of class (inasmuch as she is willing) and try not to lose your patience no matter what she says. You need to show her that you care about her, and that nothing she says or does can change that. Although you may be horrified and cringing inwardly every time she makes fun of Torah or demonstrates how far she has fallen from Yiddishkeit, stay calm and just smile at her. She may be doing some of this for shock value. Don’t allow yourself to be shocked. I know it’s hard and you won’t reach her overnight, but b’ezras Hashem one day she will call you out of the blue and tell you how much you inspired and helped her during her time of difficulty. Much hatzlacha and please keep us posted!
Chas v’shalom! I think our “new” gadol is Rav Kanievsky.
So what ARE you looking for?
“I just bought my seven-year-old kid a gun. Is there any way to make sure he doesn’t put bullets in it? Serious question.”
A gun has no usefulness other than to shoot. A tablet, on the other hand, has many uses that do not require Internet. I once babysat a child with special needs who was learning math and reading skills from a LeapPad because that was the method that worked best for him. His mother showed me how to use it so I could go through the exercises with him.
You can still, as a man, see them being great husbands. Just not for yourself.
“He just didn’t effect [sic] the lives of the people in Monsey that much. He was a great talmud [sic] chacham but how does he effect [sic] people’s lives?”
His psakim were and continue to be a tremendous part of our mesorah and halacha l’maaseh. My rav (who is Ashkenazi) said in class that there is not a single shiur he prepares for that he doesn’t look up R’ Ovadiah’s writings. It is a tremendous loss for Am Yisroel and if you keep halacha (even as an Ashkenazi), R’ Ovadiah has most certainly affected your life.
They’re very red and they’re very tall and they’re also very big.
“The issue with aliyah and Israel that I have is that most Israelis are not religious. While they mostly end up marrying other Jews and identifying as Jews, secularism and irreligiosity are rampant there. Many Israeli high school kids don’t know ‘Shema Yisrael, H’ Elokeinu, H’ Echad’.”
Where are you getting this information? Far from not knowing the Shema, Israeli high schoolers know Tanach better than many Americans (it’s taught in regular public schools!) They know and understand halacha even if they don’t follow it. They have a strong Jewish identity and feel proud of being Jewish, and a sense of ownership over Judaism. They care. Most strikingly, they care about the preservation of traditional Judaism. In Israel, it is not uncommon to hear secular Jews rebuking Conservative and Reform Jews for not following halacha. Yes, you can say it’s hypocrisy, but I think it’s beautiful to see that halacha and mesora is so precious to them and that even if they don’t personally “buy in” to the system, they support it and hopefully will one day return. Contrast this to in America, where 98% of the population is not even Jewish, and of those who are, many are completely ignorant of the most basic Jewish traditions. At least in Israel you have a starting point.
“A journalist taking a source to a bar to get them drunk, or to have a clandestine meeting, is NOT a reputable business meeting. A meeting typically involves multiple people, which requires a table, and once you have a table (as opposed to bar stools), it’s a restaurant, meaning your question becomes, how to act in a treiff (non-kosher) restaurant.”
I didn’t say it was to get them drunk or to have a clandestine meeting. Let’s say I am writing an article about Sudoku and other puzzles, and I want to interview some people who are geniuses and do these difficult puzzles all the time. The trouble is that these people are somewhat reticent, and they don’t have much to say to me. So am I going to invite them to come into my office to talk? No, I won’t get anything out of them that way. I’ll probably suggest that we meet somewhere public, somewhere casual. Perhaps a bar. And I’ll probably want to meet with them individually so that they don’t intimidate each other. Perfectly reputable, perfectly businesslike (remember, I am getting paid for this article). I’m not trying to hide what I’m doing or to get the guy to drink so he’ll talk; I just want him to feel comfortable, and this atmosphere itself makes him comfortable even before he has a drink at all.
Incidentally, a “meeting” can consist of two people, and three or more people can congregate in a bar sitting on bar stools and have a meeting.
It’ll make a great story if you marry the person!
“Reputable business is rarely conducted at a ‘bar’ (unless you are a lawyer, and that sort of ‘bar’ doesn’t serve food and drinks). So your question is really about going to a treff [sic] restaurant.”
This is not true. Many people hold business meetings in bars, or sometimes a firm will hold a social get-together which is technically not mandatory, but it will look bad if you don’t come. The most common example I can think of would be a journalist who takes his/her interview subject to a bar (a more casual atmosphere to make the interviewee feel at ease and open up to the questions).