I am not an expert at demographics (and am not intending to discount it at all) but to me it seems to be also a networking issue as guys have a built in network called the yeshiva system which is much more easily used to their advantage. As girls grow older their seminary ties tend to fall away and the amount of (helpful) contacts are much more limited. They tend to be much more dependant on the shadchanim. Out of town girls are hit even harder by this problem for obvious reasons. While this doesn’t completely explain the disparity it does explain why many girls aren’t getting dates.

@benignuman Its in teshuva 96. Hopefully the mods will let me post this link.

http://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=19989&pgnum=45

@Sam2 he asks that question look at the teshuva if you have a second.

@nishtdayngesheft You are kind of missing the point here – it is a completely different route as you can’t board in JFK. They are flying to Israel either way so thats a sunken cost. Because of supply and demand seats on the flight from ATL for example would be cheaper than straight from JFK. JFK seats will always be filled either way making them more expensive. Making the flights from ATL cheaper makes it more likely for them to recoup the airlines costs and to make a profit. It actually makes a lot of sense.

Dan didnt make it up it has been discussed on the travel blogs for years. The only thing that Dan ever broke himself to my knowledge was the El AL deal. His contribution is that he is great at explaining concepts and responds to lots of questions on his posts.

@YWMod42 the airlines could be losing money if the flight is full and someone would have paid full fare for that route – not as uncommon as you would think.

Either way its not illegal.

@nishtdayngesheft there are a lot of factors that go into how expensive it is for an airline to fly from a certain airport(for example LGA vs. JFK etc.) and it also has to do with supply and demand (ie. how many seats on that route are typically used etc.) Sometimes there are normally scheduled routes which are rarely filled up so they are much cheaper. Jfk to TLV is the most lucrative of any route in the world so there is no incentive for the airlines to price low. There are a lot of quirks in the system but at the end of the day it is the most profitable for the airlines.

@DY guess i haven’t been around here long enough to get the nuances of the best of CR troll tactics.

@syag

Considering that you were chastising someone else as opposed to presenting your own viewpoint I don’t see any problem with the comment. If you meant something else by the post and feel i misread it by all means explain – pretty sure thats the whole point of the CR.

I personally know him and am pretty sure he is pretty well known in Flatbush. He is the rav of a shul on 35th and L. Kind of surprised that he would give a hechsher on non-glatt meat.

@squeak

banning something ineffectually is the same as delegitimizing? Also as I am sure you are aware this opposite gender thing has been happening since the beginning of time so I think if anything it is the rabbonim/menahalim that are trying to change the culture that accepts this – which is precisely the opposite of the example you brought of alternative marriage (in many ways ironically). According to your logic it is always right to make a stand on everything.

@WIY Most habits can turn into compulsions – the only difference is that habitual texting is common so you notice it more. Just because something can cause a bad habit doesn’t t mean you should stop using it – it means that you must exercise self control as it is with many things in life. An actual addictive substance doesn’t really give an addict a choice about stopping whether its a physiological or psychological addiction. The more you do it/use it, the harder it is to stop and self control is much more difficult as the body/mind is fighting you every step of the way.

@Shraga18 – Really? Really? So you don’t think that you implied at all that people arent making a proper cheshbon before making their decisions? And you don’t see how your OP could be understood as looking down on others? You are either implying that they are dumb/ignorant or that they just don’t care. Neither are true. You have found that having a kosher phone works better for you. Many have found the opposite. This seems to bother you for some reason otherwise you wouldn’t have posted in the first place.

@WIY actually was going to bash using google as a reliable source but interestingly enough if you google texting addiction one of the first sources is from a KU research team which actually found that texting is a compulsion and not an addiction. Just because someone does something habitually does not make it an addiction.

@Shraga18

not at all – In fact the only one who is oversimplifying is you because you implied that there was no debate on the issue in the first place. JMH is right that not all addictions are created equal – even assuming that smartphones/internet can be addictive which i am not at all inclined to believe.

@The Chassidishe Gatesheader Nothing is better than telling your boss that you have to leave now because Google Now says that if you dont leave now you’ll miss the train. Definitely threw my boss for a loop the first time (everyone else in my office has iphones).

got both my wife and I the galaxy s3 and have been very happy with it – especially with the spreadsheet apps getting much better and LTE its been invaluable to me.

@DY I feel that our disagreement here is rather nuanced as i would agree that kids don’t really go off because of the frumkeit per se but rather because of the way it is represented to them or because of the way they are labeled if they do specific things. What people have to understand is that sometimes it is ok (depending on where they are at in life) for kids to be less frum than their parents and that it is not the end of the world. In fact for certain kids to be forced into levels of frumkeit they are not ready for can be very damaging. What I meant by absolutism is not just the people who are heavily machmir but even people who are just following the letter of the law can fall into this trap. I am referring to absolutism in ideology – where a kid could come out thinking that if he isn’t cut out for learning and feels like skipping class and playing basketball he might as well go and be mechalel shabbos since its all the same. Surprisingly enough this happens very often. I hope this clarifies things.

As far as the letter goes I feel that it is typically better to try to work with the parents to craft solutions as opposed to mandating a certain code of conduct through letters. Yes, some parents are really uninformed but a vast majority of parents whose kids do these things are aware of the situation and dont think its so bad because “teenagers will be teenagers.” In fact I have seen a case ironically where it was that kind of attitude that caused a kid to go otd. It does work both ways.

@DY and where did I equate frumkeit with absolutism. I call straw man again. I was arguing with what was implied (intentionally or otherwise) when you said that the “only” cause of otd is emotional trauma and not “frumkeit”. My response was that perceived absolutism on the part of parents and rebbeim either through mistaken beliefs by the parents/rebbeim themselves or through incredibly awful chinuch plays a major role in a lot of kids going otd. And yes enforcing crazy chumras (I am NOT referring to separating genders here) and equating them with halacha is part of it. Some people seem to believe that an overload of negative reinforcement is a necessary component in educating jewish kids. I believe this to be incredibly counterproductive and counter to simple saichel.

hebrewbooks.org

on android there is orayta and powersefer

Yes, the problem with getting it directly from the provider is that it is not difficult to renable it if you want to (assuming the phone is capable). Unfortunately I know someone who was receiving charges for a phantom line on their account and it was done through a frum store. Be careful. Also the rates are not as good as what you can get in Israel.

@Health Modern school? No one has internet in lakewood? You gotta be kidding me.

the truth is the rabbonim are very reasonable people and considering the number of people who are professionals who live in lakewood and have unfiltered internet i find it highly improbable that they are going to be throwing kids out because of it. Considering the number of people who have internet in lakewood it must be either really easy to get an ishur or no one cares about having without it.

That being said this is one of the main reasons I don’t live in lakewood (despite the fact that lakewood has many things going for it).

I am not going to keep on beating the proverbial dead horse here as I doubt anyone here is becoming convinced of anything. I see that people are just getting more upset and entrenched in their opinions. If you are doing what you believe is right and have the backing of your rabbonim ma tov uma naim. I apologize if I offended anyone here.

@ash I am sure there are plenty of people in the cr that have facebook. and the chareidi comments are just plain hilarious. I don’t think you have a monopoly on what charedi ideology is or isnt as far as i know but there is a sizable portion of the cr who agrees with me so lets not go around labeling people or say who should or shouldn’t comment.

@Health I will deal with your points one at a time.

1) Anything in excess is bad – alcohol in itself is an addictive substance facebook is not. Just because people like to do something and it drags them in does not make it an “addiction” case in point the APA still refuses to classify internet overuse as an addiction. Again you like asserting that things are similar that are in fact dissimilar.

2) I was pointing out an obvious flaw in the study – it is what we call a skip in logic. The study assumes that all the kids involved were normal prior to facebook use and that facebook was the only cause. It also assumes that facebook overuse causes narcissism and other mental issues and not vice versa. That is what is called a correlation – causation flaw. As the study does not mention numbers we are left to our own devices.

3) articles and studies on internet addiction predate facebook – there were actually a bunch done in the late 90’s. There were studies on the affects of computer games, staring at a screen for too long, and how google is changing the way our brains are wired and that people dont know how to think or do research properly anymore. A simple search through google scholar will provide you with tons of reputable articles on the subject. I dont think the cr will allow for the links though so i will not attempt to post them.

4) with the gambling thing again just because gambling and drinking are addictions does not make anything else you assert addictions.

5) Even if we assume that facebook is an addictive substance – which i dont believe it to be so – it is still not a reason to not have it anymore than it is a reason not to have cell phones despite that fact that people check it/are on it all day. the allure is to be constantly connected socially which is a basic human need. It is like saying people shouldnt eat food or breath because you might get addicted (you see what I just did there?)

@Health the only thing your proof proves is that people shouldn’t “overdose on facebook” (kind of obvious if you ask me) and that people with prior psychological conditions tend to have their conditions exacerbated by using facebook (and an obvious correlation – causation flaw right there). And the main problem with your study is that I could bring you 50 reputable studies that say the internet is horrible for our thinking and for society. Does that mean you should never use it?

@PBA he must have gotten a 175 or above and applied early. I know a guy who got a 175 had an FDU degree and didnt get in.

@Health and now you prove my point. the point of facebook is to keep in touch with friends not pick up friends. that is how it is designed. the way most people know you are on it is if you are friends with their friends – and you still have the option to reject them. again you are betraying your lack of knowledge of how facebook works and seem to be confusing it (again) with myspace which it is not.

It is very tough to do it now. Law schools especially in the northeast have been changing their attitudes towards BTLs. Even Fordham has cracked down (I heard this directly from an administrator there) and while it is possible it is getting much harder. Even with a high LSAT score it will be extremely difficult to impossible to get into Columbia/NYU of a BTL. But if you write a good personal statement and they like you who knows.

The mods here are pretty good – I have been a mod for a couple of sites over the years and I know what a hassle it is.