IYK

There is a clear agenda out there to insist that people go to therapy. To overmedicate people as well. The last issue you mention about people putting you down lies with the one trying to take you down, not your issue to deal with. Bullying is a sign of issues resting on the bully’s head, not yours. But self love includes judging yourself favorably. No one can be a better judge of their own character than themselves. Bullies know this and take advantage of those who have issues judging themselves positively. Blame and guilt tripping are used to make you judge yourself negatively. You need to get the inner strength to flip that switch inside of you and realize that when one finger points at you, the rest of the fingers point the other direction.

Babysitting is not always an easy job as it can be difficult to entertain kids. I think this is also a normal issue to have.

I must have mentioned something the moderator didn’t like so the other post wasn’t posted. Just remember it says who is wise? One who learns from every human. There are life skills everyone has that can teach you about life. Whether Jew or non Jew. In matters of pikuach nefesh, leave no stone unturned.

My first realization that what I was taught was incorrect, came in the form of a dilemma. My dad was claiming that anything he said, I had to do because of Kibbud Av. Failure to do so, would result in gehenim, a new world of suffering. I was being told to do things that I was unable to do. Did that mean that god was going to also be cruel to me because of my incapability to do what my father told me and I would be going to hell? I couldn’t believe that hashem was that cruel. I asked a rav about it. I got an answer. But I still was not protected from the abuses. Rabbis have not protected me. They were fully aware that I was being abused and I told another rabbi as well about what was happening at home long before the psychological abuses were noticed by me. Again, failure to protect the victim, yet claiming to be rabbis. This is why Jewish rabbis are no longer respected in the non Jewish world anymore and we are hated by so many people. We are even turning our own away to become non Jewish because the truth is many are not worthy of the name rabbi.

Perhaps a separate topic asking when mesira applies today would address the issue for UJM. But the headline of this topic clearly is therapists and mesira.

To all the posters showing support and to YWN I appreciate what you are doing here.

UJM:
My abusers claimed to all that my accusations were false and made up. Others backed them and shunned me for speaking out. If I wouldn’t have the power of a mandated reporter to back me, the abuses would have gotten worse. If it’s only allegations, why would anyone be afraid of the police finding out the truth? It would expose the issues of the one making false accusations. But a mandated reporter has more training than you can possibly know of to tell when there is risk. By the trained therapist being a voice for those that can’t yet speak for themselves, it only has positive outcome. Both ways it’s a positive outcome. Have you thought that at one point because of all that was done to me, I did not see the beauty in living another day? Do you know how many times I went to sleep praying I should not wake up in the morning? Do you know that I attempted twice to end my life because people wouldn’t listen to me? I know that life is worth living because I see how much the world gives for us to live. But when faced with such challenges, it’s hard to see that the world only gives us food water wood for houses and the many other gifts including animals giving their entire bodies so we can eat the meat from that, because humans deserve more than we were told. I used to sleep on the floor because I thought I didn’t deserve better than to be treated as a dog, because that’s how people were treating me. We need to stand up for therapists and the abused, because if their job to report is infringed, it will lead to bad endings. I am thriving now that I love myself, but how can we go on ignoring over one million dollars in damages per victim? We need to be the change, or the very society that allows us to live freely will collapse under this strain alone.

I wish to bring to light that the victims are being focused on when abuse cases are exposed. In reality, the victims may need therapy, but the abusers need even more therapy than the victims need. As a former victim, people think, 10 years may not sound like much. But that ten years consisted of well over one thousand sessions. It was actually closer to one thousand five hundred sessions. If you look into how much a therapist actually charges, you begin to know the extent of damage that one victim is caused by abuse. Most people don’t have one hundred grand to put down to pay for all that therapy. That’s just the therapy aspect. Forget the cost of being maxed out on some six different medications when the doctors finally told me that the only option left in the book was lifelong hospitalization. If I hadn’t begged a certain relative to advocate for me, I would not have a voice today and probably would be dead already. Medication alone matched the price of the therapy. Are the abusers paying $200,000 for damages? Nope. How about loss of financial opportunity? How many years of work was lost to go to that therapy? People have no clue yet and it is not public knowledge how much damage is caused in reality per person that is abused. Think it over. Does it makes sense at all? I think it doesn’t.

I believe that public speaking with question and answer session is the key to overcoming the problem. I’m more than prepared to get up and speak if there is a desire to hear my point of view. I just need guidance on where in the community to turn that will give me the right podium.

Halacha is determined after true understanding of Torah. Just because someone decides abuse is allowed doesn’t mean that Hashem wants it to happen. In fact, ask yourself why the bais hamikdosh was not rebuilt in over 2000 years. If we were doing the right things, it would have been rebuilt already. Clearly, “Jewish” people are not wanting it back. If you want the temple restored, embrace the fact that you still don’t know right from wrong and be the change.