iyhbyu

1st timer-

It’s people like you that I feel for when I was protesting the shtus of this thread. Shira is a beautiful name and I’m sure that that was the right name for your daughter. It’s absolutely ridiculous and I don’t believe that R’ Chaim says this for a millisecond. That a lot of people heard this story doesn’t make me believe it anymore. Even if he did, there is no reason to go around chastising those who follow every other posek including the posek hador, R’ Elyashiv.

Thats all well and nice that guys do that, however for the guy to open the door when you LEAVE the car, requires him to open his door, close it, and walk around the car and for you to wait there and do nothing all the while.It doesn’t matter whether or not he is going to do it. It’s that you are asking him to do it.

And while I couldn’t care in the least about actually opening the door, if she sits there and waits like she expects it, that would be a red flag for me.

@cshapiro-

Please don’t tell me that you wait for the guy to open your door to get out of the car?!

@truthbetold-

I like your analogy, and I actually like this whole dialog, but should guys start asking “would Rivkie like a soda?” too? That is how a Rosh Yeshiva should be spoken to. Obviously there is a difference.

I honestly don’t understand how anyone can still be upset with a guy for not walking them to the door after reading through this thread. No one has yet given me a solution to my lack of mind-reading ability, and Dunno, you obviously disprove of my Shav V’al Taaseh approach. So are you expecting too much? Do you think that your preferences are the “right” ones so everyone should acquiesce to your demands at the expense of those who prefer not to be walked to the door?Or do you perhaps have another solution?

yeah I thought it would be better, but I guess still too awkward. Well that leaves us back at square one. There seems to be two very different “shitas” from women, and there is no real way of knowing if your date appreciates it. I would say the solution would be for the women who do want it, to stop caring but I know that won’t happen 🙂

Ah, Shidduchim and how I love it.

I agree with sac- it seems too obvious to figure out who this couple is and a lot of people know them. Considering it is motsei shem rah (NOT TRUE) maybe those posts should be taken down.

@dunno, cshapiro

I have not walked any girls to the door, and I am honestly mortified that you think that every guy is “checking you out.” I don’t know if you need to get over yourselves or what, but I can tell you honestly that I have never done that. I’m usually thinking about the date and looking at the door to make sure she gets in.

@passion, oomis, and health.

Obviously judging by the diversity of reactions there is no consensus from all women on whether they want to be walked to the door. So for you to have such strong reactions is completely unwarranted. Finally passion4 came up with a decent reason on why they wish to be walked to the door (she feels like every step she takes is being watched)which I understand. However, in the interim, someone came up with a very valid reason why some girls Don’t want to be walked to the door, and that is they don’t want the neighbor’s to see more than they have to that she is on a date. So considering everything are men supposed to be mind-readers? or do you want us to ask you if you want to be walked to the door? because those seem to be the only two options.

I was going to ignore the whole “let a girl fall if she slips,” because I thought it was a joke. The very definition of a chasid shoteh. Ask any Rov, I personally heard a Rosh Yeshiva talk about the time he helped an old lady walk across the street and the looks that he got. That is basic menchlichkeit.

I prefer straight hair but by no means will I not go out with a girl if her hair is curly. I don’t think it would be that big of a deal for any guy unless he’s really vain.

1)I’m not trying to be argumentative but really trying to understand.

you don’t feel safe walking to your house which is 10 feet away? and I am in no way suggesting driving off-there is someone there.

do you walk around with an escort everywhere?

2) he might care-Just doesn’t know that you prefer it. There are definitely girls that I either don’t care or prefer it not to happen.

3)It wouldn’t be awkward if it was a long walk, but it’s like five seconds.

@dunno-

1)I’m asking WHY is it chivalrous?

2) why do you(and not just you but seemingly a lot of people on this thread) care?

3)It’s much more awkward to make a whole big production out of saying G’night and Thank you, than it is to just say it when you are parked.

A posek who regularly consults with R’ Elyashiv told me when I told him I heard R’ Elyashiv say something-

“Half the things that R’ Elyashiv said… he never said.”

I’m assuming the same would be true for R’ Chaim. I really find this VERY hard to believe and I’d just like to echo the need to speak to your Rav before doing anything at all.

BTW in regards to mekuballim, be very careful that you are dealing with someone who is legit. There are a lot of “mekuballim” who are dabbling in Kochos hatumah. My rosh yeshiva told me that any mekubal should be able to explain to you any tosfos in shas on the spot because if you really know kaballah you have to know kol hatorah kula. See faith and folly by R’ Yaakov Hillel.

@simcha-My bad. You were right. I’m going to post a bit of the court’s opinion though I don’t know if the Mods will find it to be too long. Friedman v State.282 N.Y.S.2d 858

After arriving at the top of the chair lift, they walked away from the ski lift area, through the picnic area to an area, where they were out of sight of the ski lift terminal, and had their picnic lunch. They then wandered around the area sight seeing. Miss Friedman testified that it started to become colder, she was dressed in a cotton skirt, light blouse, and sneakers, and that she thought she looked at her watch and, as it was about 5:10 P.M., she said they should go back down the mountain. Mr. Katz thought it was about 5:30 P.M. when they decided to go back down the mountain. It took them about 10 to 15 minutes to walk to the chair lift area. When they arrived there, they found it deserted but the chair lift was still in operation. Mr. Katz suggested that they walk the trail down but Miss Friedman was cold and tired and, as they had purchased round-trip tickets, *452 suggested that they get on the chair lift and ride it down the mountain; which they did. They did not observe any barriers which prevented their walking to the loading platform; and, they did not have to climb over, through, or under any barriers to reach the loading platform. They did not observe any signs which forbade their entering the loading area when attendants were not present. A few minutes after they started down on the chair lift, at about towers 15 and 16, the chair lift ceased operation and these two young people were stranded, suspended 20 to 25 feet in the air. They screamed and yelled for help for over 15 minutes but to no avail. They discussed their situation and Miss Friedman became agitated, panicky and reached a stage of near hysteria at the prospect of being stranded on the mountain, 25 feet in the air, overnight. It **862 is our opinion, and we so find, that she reached the hysterical frame of reference for two reasons. In the first instance, it does not require much imagination or experience to determine that a lightly dressed 16 year old city girl might become hysterical at the prospect of spending a night on a mountainside, suspended in the air and with no apparent reason to hope for rescue until the next morning. Secondly, we must add to the fact of expectable hysteria, the moral compulsion this young lady believed she was under, not to spend a night alone with a man.

They went on a ski lift but they weren’t going skiing? What kind of ski lifts fit 4 people? and you still can’t change the fact it was on a tv show a while ago-google it if you don’t believe me. I just did before posting.

If this story were true it wouldn’t have been all over the news and the whole entire frum world would have been abuzz.

As they say if a story is too good to be true, it probably isn’t.

Actually… that ski lift story is from a TV show called “Curb Your Enthusiasm” where they feature an orthodox jew. The creator is jewish.

I didn’t watch this personally but a classmate of mine told me about it when asking about Orthodox Judiasm. I had to explain that that wouldn’t happen with sane people.

Did you really believe that story? The holes are way too huge (hard to be shomer negiah sitting next to each other on a ski lift… wouldn’t they see it getting dark? it’s not like those lifts take 45 minutes…If they’re that farfrumt would they go skiing at all…I could go on)

Homeowner-

Yikes, I never meant for this to get personal. I’m sure you are aware that blue books are rarely used, but that you referred to it at all led me to believe that you were not in touch with what law school is like nowadays. I guess I was wrong. I’m not going to answer for my generation’s aversion to pen and paper because I didn’t exactly create this culture, and also I believe that the courtroom will adapt to computers and ipads etc.

As for Dershowitz, I’m assuming he wasn’t too into learning a sugya b’iyun and for some reason I doubt he will endorse a yeshiva education.

I believe what I said was poorly phrased. I don’t mean that you shouldn’t worry about a lack of writing skills in the future, rather you shouldn’t worry about a lack of previous formal education in undergrad.

I believe you are taking my advice as a slight on you undergraduate education. I mean no such thing. Was there even yeshivas offering BTLs when you went to law school? It is quite possible that it was absolutely necessary for you.

And you’re right, I don’t know everything,and I could be wrong. But this is simply L’aniyas daati my advice, that for the OP to go to an undergraduate school would be a waste of time and money nowadays.

Hatzlacha

Homeowner-

Trust me, I am not embarrassed in the slightest. As for career advice, maybe I am no more qualified than any non-lawyer. But as for the topic of the question, getting into law school, I believe I am just as qualified as anyone, if not more so. The fact that you still refer to a bluebook when those are basically extinct shows that law school may have changed a bit since you have been there.

While taking undergraduate English courses may be a slight advantage, it is most definitely not enough to waste your time and money on it.

As for when exam time comes, it came and went, and B”H, either I shockingly was smart enough not to write “mamash a contract,” or the professor surely appreciated it, because my grades are in very good shape. ( and I’d imagine someone who scored in the upper 170s would as well.)

I have spoken to my classmates who have majored in Literature, Journalism, etc. and they all have said that the style of writing that they were taught was very different from what is expected in a legal writing course.

I also fail to see what Alan Dershowitz and his opinion has anything to do with our topic.

And I lost sight of this numerous times unfortunately, so I am speaking to myself as well, but I just want to stress yet again that this is all HISHTADLUS. Whether we actually get a job is up to Hashem.

I scored in the lower 170s and was not admitted to Columbia. i was told only afterwards that the Dean at Columbia does not like BTL’s and they won’t accept anyone there with a BTL. You will probably have an easier time with NYU. I did get into some top schools (albeit only the lower ranked schools offered scholarships) and one of my friends is in a top 10 with a full scholarship and a BTL.

I wouldn’t recommend hiring an admissions consultant, the whole process is one whole scam where you are going to be charged large fees every step of the way. I would maybe recommend hiring a professional to edit your personal statement. I know of a frum woman who edits graduate school application essays professionally, and I was quite pleased with the job she did on mine.

Congrats on your score, and much Hatzlacha.

You’re not seriously asking this are you?

No offense but if you’re engaged, I sincerely hope that you are mature enough not to be asking if couples who look alike get along better. Getting along doesn’t depend on how much you look alike, it depends on how much work you put into the relationship.

ummm how do I put this lightly…NOOOOO. absolutely not. This should absolutely not stop you from being excited over your chosson. He must be very special for this to be what you are concerned over.

Who told you this. And as for why you hear this at vorts-a few possibilities:

1) it just happens to be that way in some cases. that doesn’t mean it’s a requirement.

2)People are way too into “segulos” which have no mekor in halacha.

I really cannot reiterate this enough so I will answer your question once again. NO. really just no.

@real brisker

Just because something is optional doesn’t mean there is no chillul hashem if you don’t do it!

What if there is an old lady in a wheelchair who is right behind you and you don’t hold open a heavy door for her and let it slam in her face, there is no law saying that you have to. so therefore it’s not a chillul hashem?! There is no law obligating one to say thank you when one does him a favor. Does that mean that there is no chillul hashem?!

I know people who have worked as waiters and whether or not they are justified, they do think people who don’t tip are jerks.

I happen think they are justified because it is taken into account when they get wages. You say-well its just up to the employer!-but if you know anything about economics, in your world, the employer will just charge you more for your food if he has to pay the delivery boy more and probably more than you would tip.

The tefillin sweater

and yes I’m joking