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nyc does include all five boroughs but it can be referred to as new york city. when addressing an envelope to a location in brooklyn the city state would be “brooklyn, NY”, to manhattan it would be, “new york, NY”
anyway, what’s the scoop with all this. I know a few people who work in manhattan including my father, is there a real threat? it’s scary, can they all just take off every time they hear a buba maasa?
feivel,
if that is the case, do they think of israel per se as that, or just religious jews?
“halacha hi beyadua she’esav sone es (l’?) yaakov”
bored@work
don’t get me wrong, it might work out beautifully for you to live here, in fact it might be perfect for you and you might love it. By the way the gashmius part is not what’s necessarily so hard it’s usually the fact that you are away from your family etc. I find that part very hard but in a way, I know it’s very good for me so the same thing that could be a chisaron can be a maala as well :). You sound like you have a head on your shoulders and have very good goals for yourself. Just make sure you are being realistic with yourself. that’s all..
About if it is smart to marry the first guy or the 10th (or 20th, 30th), You’re smart if you marry the right guy whether he is #1 or #70. Just hope that he comes sooner rather than later.
bored@work
thanks.
jewishfeminist02
“So even if you belong to the camp that forbids women from learning Gemara, we still can and should learn Tanach.” There is not the same chiyuv for women to learn torah as for men to. That is a fact.
oomis1105
I think it has to do with how you define feminism. If you define it by the literal meaning of the word, you are right. But if you want to use feminism as in modern feminist movement, I don’t think that is in line with the torah.
I htink I’d rather put my $5 in a box where I can win a beatiful set of dishes or the like to be honest. But the truth is, it’s a pity that it got so out of hand. A chinese auction should be a nice place with some cakes and cookies set up on the side along with some drinks and have a bunch of nice prizes. But maybe instead of being able to win a luxiurious dining room set, a simple bedroom set should do, no?
Is there a kollel in north miami beach?
about those glossy booklets, I think they’re not fair also. They say, H-m wants you/us to give to _____ organization. I don’t think Hashem plays favorites with organizations. I think Hashem wants us to give Tzedakka to worthy causes not necessarily to one specific organization.
Another thing that bothers me is that they don’t treat gedolim with respect by plastering photos of them all over. I don’t think it’s bakovodig.
flatbush27
Your comment really had me holding my sides!
There is a weird trend in E”Y that they ask for a credit card number? do people actually give their credit card number to someone calling from an organization? If I call a bunch of numbers and say I’m calling from Yad Chana Esther (made up name) they will give me their credit card number? Yay! All I have to do is buy one of those machines and i’m rich!
I don’t know him well, but I know who he is but I don’t think he really knows who I am. I don’t get it? How many people are in your exact situation that you thought you can hide for long? How many people used to live in flatbush are in their 20’s and now live in ireland? HUH? What were you THINKING???
all for the boss is a great book. Let’s talk about it instead of this horrible discussion that was going on till now. I am not taking sides. Some opinions are right and some are wrong. But they are all wrong in being expressed on this site. If you are really bothered by a situation speak to someone who you think can really do something about it. otherwise just keep it INSIDE.
brook,
“very often it’s the people with a head on their shoulders who date more till they get married. again, not always!”
That is such a silly and naive comment. If H-m sends the right one on the first try it is a bracha and if you have a “head on your shoulders” you don’t say no because the only chisaron you can find is that they are the first one. Why would any guy agree to be a girl’s first date if they know the answer is no from the first seconnd. That comment really makes no sense. I wish you a lot of Hatzlocha but keep in mind that you will be held accountable for all those boys that you are wasting their time and hurting in the process of needing to date a lot of boys before you can say yes.
bored@work
I don’t think one or two years is so bad but I just want to make you aware that living here is a whole different ball game than sem. I’m thinking of 3 people who went home after a relatively short stay and they were all here for sem. Don’t get me wrong, I am here so obviously I made the decision to come. But also your husband will also have to want to come here. NOt all boys want to. Also, I am not saying that you WON’T like it or whatever, but you seem to think that things that you take for granted now you will suddenly not need in a year from now but it doesn’t happen like that.
shkoyach
When you’re at a party do you go around telling e/o what to discuss? LOL!
anonymisss
nope, didn’t take it.
Brook’s in Touro
“but its also hard there r so little guys out there that have my personality”
Never mind the language usage… There are actually no guys who have your personality. Everyone is unique. You will never find someone so specific. he doesn’t exist.
“i act crazy on dates so they know the real me”
You act crazy on dates?
Brook,
I don’t have to like or do have to like it, I don’t like it. Just stating a fact.
anonymisss
which one are you taking?
bored@work,
I know some people who spoke like you and were on the first flight home after the next zman.
brook,
there’s nothing wrong with marrying the first girl, boy. After all, the first date you ever go on is practice? There should be a potential, no? In my case, the first one who came was the right one. I don’t like your attitude.
RoshYeshivah,
people refer to manhattan as nyc sometimes.
SJSinNYC,
I thought I remember that you’re a yekke, no? Why do you wait 6 hours?
Joseph,
Not important enough to me to analyze. You are welcome to though.
jewishfeminist02
Wow! You are 100% correct! 🙂 You don’t sound like much of a feminist in that last post of yours!
Joseph
Do you only know people who live within a one mile radius of you? I’m not from Flatbush. What does that have to do with it?
bored@work
are you sure you want to live here???
It’s a lot different than sem and I don’t know how many personal shoppers are available…
brook,
cut out the pickiness, you’re not half as amazing as you think you are.
oomis1105,
Thanks, maybe when it comes time for me to do it iy”h I’ll find it easier :). I think it always bothers parents when their children don’t do something that is very dear and important to them. It’s good that you don’t make an issue out of it though.
jewishfeminist02
Sorry, I guess I should have been more specific. I was referring to a man, somewhere from older teenager and up (even an older man). If it is your cousin, brother-in-law, or father, I would assume you should open the door (make sure it’s not a problem with yichud before letting them in of course…) I there is a six-year-old boy standing there, you should probably not feel very threatened. 🙂 Is it clear now?
Now I’m just curious, did you really think I meant all males, or were you just trying to point out that I did not use specific enough language?
not anymore because it’s the next page.
asdfghjkl,
Oh my goodness!
I can’t believe I didn’t think of that till now! I can’t believe this! You say you’re from flatbush and now live in Ireland. I know exactly who you are!
joseph
I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong to be ashamed of but I still don’t want people knowing who I am. I wouldn’t say some of the wacky things I do if my name would be displayed. In fact, I probably wouldn’t say anything. But you can go ahead and reveal yourself.
I am disgusted by this whole discussion (disgusion) Brooklyn19, your ego will get in the way of your understanding. If someone is having difficulty, let them consult their rav. It is not up to decide if masses of people should stop having children or not. No one is really interested in any of your opinions and I know I’ve taken part in discussions that had no real tachlis but I think this one is somehow over the line.
” i guess i’ll just have to hang on till i meet him. i’ve sorta got high standards…”
Yeah, and then when you meet him he’ll think that you’re not good looking…
“and not all actors play the “prince” in every movie.”
Even the guys in the movies who are supposed to look shaggy and unkempt, there are extremely professional make up artists who know how to keep them looking good at the same time.
btw, it’s wierd because I’ve watched my share of videos in my life (unfortunately) and for some reason, I never associated their looks with real life. Maybe because they are so far removed from our culture. (or maybe because many men I know have beards…) Hey! Maybe go out with someone with a beard, they’ll look so different than in the movies, you won’t be able to compare! LOL! You don’t sound like the type! LOL! 😀
(Don’t gasp, but I married the first guy I met so you probably cannot compare our situations!)
Oso ha’ish, why oto ha’ish?
bored@work
It’s nice to spend a year in E”Y, not necessary. Parents should NOT be spending thousands of dollars that they do or don’t have so their daughters can spend a year in E”Y. I think more sems need to open in the U.S. but as I said, that will only happen when there is a demand. Boys yeshivas work differently. There are certain Roshei Yeshiva who live in E”Y and have yeshivas there. Girls sems are not usually led by chashuva rabbanim and there are plenty chashuva rebetzins in the states not just in E”Y. Also, I don’t think a lot of girls who come here should be given so much freedom.
I think we tend to remain anonomous on these things. Goyim can be on a blog and expect to know no one. If I’d identify myself, I’m sure there is at least one person who would recognize me.
BTW, I non-kosher food is metamtem es halev so I think that is one mitzva that should ideally be kept from the youngest age possible.
They say, “mai tatta nishta aheiim…” ?
I guess the meshulach understands what they meant to say a/w 🙂 LOL.
As I mentioned many times, I live in E”Y. A lot of mishulachim come to my tiny little poor looking apartment and try to get my husband to invite them in so they can talk. I don’t get it. How much do they think they’re getting out of us? By being American does that mean we are rich despite our obvious standard of living?
KeepinEntertained
i’d rather not disclose exactly where I live at this point but keep your ears (make that eyes) open because I might give it away at one point. 🙂 I do live in one of the typical areas but those are not the only ones.
Joseph,
It should definitely not be on the top of the list. Maybe not on the list at all. In other words, it should not be the first question to jump at about how she looks but once they meet if he notices that he doesn’t like how she looks that is very understandable. Also, once they meet a couple of times maybe he will get used to it and suddenly find her good-looking.
Also, I have a feeling that it is the mother a lot of times who stops a shidduch because of looks while the son would very possibly not be bothered. That is a pity.
bored@work,
when were you there? I don’t really have girls all the time, maybe once or twice and I had about 3 girls all together, but maybe you were one of them! (I doubt it though, I don’t think any of them were from Flatbush!) But you never know, we might have bumped into e/o! 🙂
bored@work
I think she’s mo from birth. it’s her husband who changed.
By the way sj, there are many definitions of yeshivish, and what you refer to as yeshivish, I probably do not consider yeshivish.
Joseph
Somehow with a jewish website, I don’t think it would work.
bored@work
I think he said ROMIMU not raninu.
oomis1105,
sounds like a great system! It would help the real meshulachim as well. People tend to be weary of all meshulachim because of the phony ones which is very sad for those who don’t deserve it but people are burned.
“Why do the mods feel the need to expose every single time a user changes his or her handle? It used to be that they would catch a person multiple posting under multiple handles, and of course no one wants that. If someone is logging in and out so as to agree with their own post, put a stop to it. But why can’t someone permanently change screen names so as to regain anonymity? “
I agree with squeak. If they want us not to be anonymous they should require real names (which would basically in effect close the coffee room 🙂 )
bored@work
I was not in Israel forever. I’m only here a short while. But I am not from Flatbush, so maybe that is why I was not aware that this is a common phenomenon?
brook,
“it’s when i’m already out and i can’t take the way the guy looks that drives me nuts. it’s such a stupid reason to say no, but at the same time – i can’t marry the guy!”
I think that is a perfectly valid reason to say no. You will have to look at him the rest of your life after all! Would you paint your walls a color you can’t stand? And you’re not even marrying your walls! (It’s when people say no to “problems” that will have absolutely no effect on their lives, or because they are embarressed what others will think that are “stupid” reasons, but if you marry a person who you can’t stand how they look that will not make for a good, healthy marriage.)
bita,coach,
try an experiment and open a thread that is specifically about ANY topic besides shidduchim. Let’s see if it stays “on topic” (in other words does not go to shidduchim)
jphone,
okay, so don’t blog.
“Any thread that discusses any person or group is a potential thread for lashon hara.”
Okay, so maybe suggest that they be closed.
These experiments sound like good excuses for the nazis, arabs, etc. They are not excuses and should not be viewed as such. I don’t think giving someone an electric shock can be compared to killing, torturing, enslaving men, women, children, teenagers and babies!
SJSinNYC,
Why are you sooo into the tax evasion stuff?
“I really hope yeshivish people in general are not like some of the people in this thread. The ones I know generally are not, but this is one reason my husband left being yeshivish to become MO.”
Now I understand why you are so against “Yeshivish” olam as you refer to it.
Your argument about chasidis is not a good comparison. Chasidus was (is) a different derech of becoming closer to H-m which many people were against. I don’t believe the idea of mo is to become closer to H-m after all is said and done. Also, Chasidus is lasting for many, many years. I don’t think the same can be said for Modern Orthodoxy (but of course you’ll disagree).
sarah_613
Never answer the door if there is a male at the door. I am married but do not answer the door if there is a male standing there (I have a peephole) if my husband is not home. sometimes I don’t feel good about it but it is still the right thing to do. Even if you are dressed to go out, don’t open the door.
btw, seminary in e”y is not necessary. There are a couple of excellent local ones that are cheaper and don’t infringe on kol kevuda bas melech penima. It would be great if more would be sprouting in the U.S. rather than in E”Y but of course, there needs to be a demand first. (I am aware that for some people sem in E”Y is a great thing but it is not necessary for the majority.)