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Tznius is sensitivity AND halacha. It seems that some of you think it is JUST sensitivity. what if you are not so sensitive, you will wear anything? and some think it has to say straight out in the tora, “Thou skirt must reach below thy knees.” Getta life!
loose fitting does not necessary mean 3 sizes too big! Just not too small. You must have a couple of inches of extra material around you. Yes, this is a rule, NOT a stringency. Unless you don’t dress that way, you have no idea how DISGUSTING it looks when people wear tight fitted clothing. I want to throw up! Even if you are fully covered, you see every pimple on the body and you look so exposed!
Bright colors means BRIGHT COLORS; this does not mean you can’t wear beige, pale yellow (not bright), pink (not hot pink), peach, green, lavender. there are so many colors you may wear, just not BRIGHT COLORS!
Why does everyone have to stand on the exact wording that was used????
Suraschier, are you referring to Sara Shnerir??
If Avraham Avinu was sort of a Ger does that mean that his parents were not really considered parents?
Also when Pinchas killed Zimri it was an act of Kana’us and as far as I remember he did not ask Moshe Rabeinu (I think according to some, if he would have asked he would have been told no but because he got up and did it as an act of Kana’us to H-m, it was the right thing to do) so in that case, would someone in our generation be allowed to kill someone?
I don’t think bringing A”A as an example applies here.
I just think to ensure you are doing the right thing, ask someone who you respect for their opinion.
#5 for sure! But there are so many different priorities within the #5! What “amazing” means in High school does not necessary mean “amazing”. I know many “amazing” girls who were in my class in high school who I would not want to touch with a 10-ft. pole (nor would i want my 5th cousin to!)
priorities #1-75 is middos!
#76-100- is a relatively decent amount of brains.
obviously there are many sources from chazal that say that the other choices are VERY important as mentioned above. So it’s not just nonsense. I’m just wondering if it is a GIVEN that you would look for a girl with fine middos and qualities and then once that is established check out the brothers, father, cousin’s cat’s neighbor’s friend’s wife.
I heard from a very respectable rebetzen (Not some fancy shmantzy silly principle in an e”y sem…) a really brilliant woman, who said that when you cry/shed tears from something that someone did to you, it is very bad because it can cause a kitrug or something like that on that person. So if you find yourself very hurt, you can actually take those same tears and turn it into a tefilla and that tefilla is considered a tefilla that was said with tears which is very powerful! (even though the tears were not originally brought out from tefilla!)
I really did not mean to start this discussion. I don’t think it belongs in this forum. It came out wrong. I explained that already. And, Yoshi, don’t make decisions so quickly according to your last paragraph. I think everyone should speak to their own das torah about these issues. It does NOT belong on YWN!!! No way Ho zay! (jose?)
ouvre means to be? or to have? I think it’s a french verb or something? I am NOT a Harry according to any of the above definitions but took 3 years of French in High School so I will use my relative anonymity to protect my embarressment for being totally clueless about this.
BTW, I always thought a “Harry” is someone who is a little bit clueless or “chapless” about social norms in the yeshivish world (can be a ffb), usually Really ameRican. (Stress the r’s).
ask a shaila to a posek??
You sound like my brother who once saw me reading a goyish book (I was about age 13, he; 19) he grabbed it out of my hand, said Ich and threw it into the garbage. (It was a clean garbage can so I took it out and continued to read 🙂 ) The difference is a. I’m not his mother, and b. he barely knows what internet is and would not be busy posting threads on the internet! (He knows I have internet and did not try to disconnect the wires yet… 🙂 )
You have to know your mother. If she is the type that would be more than happy if you approach her in a nice way then go ahead. If she would get angry that you are telling her what to do, I don’t think it’s so simple. You gotta ask a third party what to do (your local rabbi???)
I have no experience with these things but I would think LONG and HARD before making a decision.
Firstly, will she/he be socially awkward not having the same social experience as his/her peers?
Will she/he have attachment issues (home all day with Mommy/siblings)?
What if this situation cannot go on for ever for a dozen reasons that can come up and she/he is suddenly thrust into school at age 12, 13, 14. Would that be traumatizing? Will she/he be able to adjust?
I never really thought into this but these are just things that came to mind right now.
(Also, is this an issue of Al tifrosh min HaTzibur?)
Joseph-
Woops! That came out bad! I should have re-read what I wrote. I did not mean “wait to have a baby” as the secular world waits a few years. I meant waiting for H-m for that right time whenever Hashem sees fit. Many people benefitting from Bonei Olam are quite religious I would think!
sarah_613 and e/o else,
Just keep in mind that most of these people have really good intentions. Try to realize that they don’t realize that they are doing something wrong. It sounds obsurd but it’s true! (They say the road to gihinom is paved with good intentions…Don’t take it literally Ch”V but it definitely has some truth!)
Sometimes, people have very good intentions but the outcomes are AWFUL. It’s similar with people who wait a couple of years to have a baby and every time someone else has a baby or puts on maternity they have to feel like the biggest nebach!
I am married UNDER 2 years and already avoid telling certain family members when someone who got married after me is expecting/had a baby because the inevitable is, “Is it hard for you?” And if it is hard for me do I have to share that information with you???
I hope you all enjoy your life as it is right now and get a Shidduch very soon and continue to enjoy life along with the addition to it…
There was an article about homeschooling in this past week’s Mishpacha. (I’m not sure if it was in Family First or regular Mishpacha). See if you can get a copy; You’d probably find it interesting.
Why do you want to home school?
I meant to say that I can’t think of doing anything on a GRAND scale, it is good to be made aware of how feel to know how to act.
Wow. It is great that you posted this. Although, there is not much for anyone to do as far as changing the world. Thanks for the awareness!
You mentioned about inviting singles. I am just wondering, these things can be very sensitive. How does one know if the “single” would be offended or would be overjoyed at an invitation?
On a similiar note, it is often almost impossible to say the right thing in certain situations. Can you give some tips on what’s appropriate to say and what not?
I’m sure you had your fair share of (unfortunately) many innappropriate comments and hopefully some thoughtful things were said to you.
So any tips?
Tzippi,
I guess I shouldn’t have rementioned it. Doesn’t help matters, I guess. Especially since some people nicely mention it again :(.
Okay everyone else. So lets drop it NOW!
GO TEAM BLUE TIGHTS!
I’m not sure about the tichel… but what kind of LANGUAGE is used here? Bikini? Birthday suit? That is very innapropriate. It leads to untzniusdig thoughts! I’m glad I do not know your real names as it does not show anything good about yourselves that you think this way!