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oomis1105
As far as I remember, I think the idea of cholov yisroes is even if you know the product is kosher, you are still supposed to use milk that was watched by a jew. (I think certain milk products (cheese?) can only be made with cow’s milk but cholov yisroel still applies.)
Also, to all who are against the “my way or highway” attitude, will hill did not say he does not respect others’ opinions, he is just stating what his view is and he obviously feels very strongly about it which I don’t think there is anything wrong with.
Not sure :-
(that sounds very intelligent, no?)
Shindy,
Just curious, is that with a “long i” or short?
Someone who can really imagine such a thing, probably has other issues as well… Can you really imagine, 50% of the (Jewish) population knowing something and not one woman would find out!?! Besides, men can repeat Gemaras here and there to women!
shtark bochur
You sound like a real bachur!
gavra_at_work
I thought of that quote as well it’s very nice and all but your whole mentality sounds quite twisted!
I think your last post is sick! “With the Shidduch Crisis, its geting easier to extort, I mean convince the Shver help out the young couple.” !Sick!
(and by the way, my husband is in full time learning and we hope he will stay for a very long time up until forever, but I would faster convince him to go to work than live with such an attitude.)
(I am not just trying to “hack”, I am truly disturbed.)
gavra_at_work
It doesn’t sound good to me that people would commit to full time learning because it’s easier. It should be done because that is what you believe is the right thing for you (and you would do it even if it’s hard). Maybe I misunderstood your post. Please clarify.
BTW, I don’t agree that getting money from the “Shver” makes is so easy. It is not so easy to take money from parents.
Jfeminist,
I am positive I posted this (megilla) last night and it’s not here! 🙁
Maybe I accidentally added it to an other thread…
You want husband and wife to have equal roles. I will tell you that, that should not and will not happen. Men and women are inherently different and will therefore automatically fall into different roles. That is not because they are trained to do that but because they are naturally fit for their roles. Hashem made them each the way they are and no human being can change that even if it bothers you. That is why they will not change roles. Why they should not change roles is because they each have different needs and it would not be fair for a wife to be treated according to the way her husband would like to be treated and vice versa.
This example, although a bit silly, might help you understand what I mean:
Imagine a woman who has two sons, one who is blind and one who is deaf. If she were to treat them equally she would make the one who’s blind learn sign language because the deaf one does and make the deaf one learn braille so he could be like his blind brother. Or maybe she would say that neither should learn any because the other does not learn it. This would be equal but not fair! They each have different needs and need to be treated accordingly. So too a man and woman have different needs and need to be treated accordingly.
I am not pretending to be an expert in this area, but based on my limited knowledge as well as my common sense. This seems very clear to me.
YOU’RE VERY WELCOME!
Joseph
Right! Ch’san Sofer sounds right!!
The Queen of Persia
I think there is only one, chasan sofer, I think i wrote it wrong with the “m” Anyway it’s located on 19th and 51st I think.
There are enough things that children/teens must be sheltered from. Don’t shelter them from things that are not necessary. It will just make it harder for them to deal with when they are confronted with the issue.
It reminds me of a joke about a father who never let his son see a girl. One time they were outside and the son saw a girl. He asked his father, “What is that?”
His father answered, “A katchka (chicken)”
The son said, “Ah, what a nice Katchka!”
I think what I figured out (I guess I’m right cuz it worked…)
is you type in “em” (instead of the quotes, type <> but I can’t do it because then it will show up as italicized and you won’t see the “em”…) then you type in what you want italicized and then type “/em” So it will look like this
“em” this is italicized “/em”
(exept that it’s with the < > instead of ” “)
If the following comes out in italics that means my instructions are good, otherwise I just succeeded in making a fool of myself!
Hello!
homemade pizza made out of pita is much easier than making the dough and possibly better. I assume it’s more expensive but still cheaper than the ready made. You just take the pita (can be straight out of the freezer) cover it with pizza sauce (the gefen that comes in a glass jar is yum) and shredded cheese. It’s delicious and very easy! If you want to be more economical on the sauce you can use regular tomato sauce and add spices.
Bon apetit!
jewishfeminist02,
Marriage is not supposed to be equal partners. H-m created women and men differently and there is absolutely nothing you or anyone else can do about it. The only One you can argue with is H-m. It has nothing to do with being heretical or not. It has to do with logic. A man cannot become a woman and vice versa. Yes, a man can cook and clean (my husband does plenty of that) and a woman can learn/work but there are certain things that cannot change no matter what you do!
Isn’t ground meat more expensive?
SJSinNYC,
I would imagine going to a bowling alley is different then a bar/restaurant. People go to a bowling alley to go bowling and food is an added convenience that not everyone there uses. On the other hand people go to a bar or a restaurant mainly for the food/drinks.
I still think this argument is DUMB though. You want to argue whether it’s good or not to go to a bar, do that. Why be busy with being dan l’kaf zchus these boys or not?! We have no idea who they are if they in fact exist!
OOOOOOOh! The store that is pronounced “sims”? I thought it’s some kind of organization S.Y.M.S that stands for something. Of course I’ve heard of it.
About all these gemara loshon’s I think it’s laughable!
About missing mincha-maariv, I don’t think I would have the guts, but I would not marry a boy who I know for a fact missed mincha (the date started before the zman and ended after shkia) In fact I dated someone (who I am now married to) who totally lost track of time and did not realize that it was almost mincha time. I hinted at it by saying that sunset is starting and it’s so beautiful. He took the hint and we quickly left. I realized that it was an innocent mistake and I am a realistic person that realizes that people aren’t perfect, but if the date would have dragged on and on, and he obviously did not daven mincha, then yes, I would have to think twice.
What about a girl’s father who calls my husband all the time with painfully detailed questions about the boy’s derech halimud. This girl is a really special girl but is unfortunately not too pretty and a bit overweight. She wants a boy who is very serious about his learning but I don’t think she really cares exactly how he goes about it. She is 24 and really needs a shidduch. I feel really bad for her. She would make a great wife!
does it work? ???
Don’t get how you do it???
Chasam Sofer sounds like a good choice, but by age 17 maybe he is looking for a post high school yeshiva? Although I think they go a few years past high school. My brothers were there for elementary school and left for high school because they did need more of a demanding high school so it sounds good for your son.
It is sad that yeshivas gear themselves for the “top” bachurim and leave the weaker students to the dogs. I remember in high school I felt that a lot of teachers aimed their lessons at the top 10% of the class and the rest of us would have to try to keep up.
I feel that teachers should gear their lessons to the average students. The weak students should be provided with modification if necessary and the gifted students could be given extra to be stimulated. It sounds simpler than it is. I know it’s not. But who says the weaker students aren’t worth enough to spend extra time to make it work for everyone?
Joseph,
I’ve heard of one-me!
What is SYMS???
This whole argument is DUMB.
Just one question, what’s wrong with a thirteen year old knowing about the “Shidduchim crisis”. Why are you trying to shelter her from that?
“Eggs, stuffed potatoes are two examples that come to mind.”
Can you be more specific? What do you do with the eggs and what do you stuff the potatoes with?
About 10 years ago, my family was in Eretz Yisroel for a few weeks. My mother met a girl who said that her mother is a nurse. My mother had just finished nursing school and was facing starting her new job upon return to the U.S. The girl told my mother that her mother gets paid x amount. My mother was very impressed as the amount was very similiar to the amount being paid back home. She decided then and there that she wants to stay in Eretz Yisroel. My father would have to give up his business but there are less expenses (ie tuition) in Eretz Yisroel so we would manage. What she did not realize was the amount stated was per MONTH and not per WEEK. So basically the salary was about a quarter the amount paid in the States. So yes, money is an issue in Eretz Yisroel!
I am not expressing an opinion on the actual issue. I am in no sense an expert. However, please keep in mind that just as you would think twice before saying yes, think twice before saying no. These days, you really have to pick and choose where you say no. If you are firm and not wishy washy about what you believe in but on the other hand permit your daughter to do certain things that are allowed, she will appreciate that you care about her and will probably not rebel. However if you say no to everything, without thoroughly thinking about it, there is a good chance she will resent it.
SJSinNYC
I did not misunderstand your post. I understood that they cannot invite at all. You still have to accept the Psak. It’s hard but you wouldn’t get Schar for anything if it’d be easy. (What would you say if I would ask you not to prepare spinach at all for me because my husband does not trust bodek’s standards…?)
SJSinNYC
Wow! Thanks for all the advice! Don’t get me wrong. Since we got married two years ago, my husband has given up on a lot of things that he would really like to have. I think he was just never aware that money is limited! (He learned the hard way.)
Starting a new thread is a good idea but maybe don’t label it vegetarian as that will just lead to some stupid controversial argument! 🙂 Maybe economic or something!
SJSinNYC,
I am seriously considering your idea of cutting down on chicken etc. The problem is that I am not very creative when it comes to food and my husband and I both do not enjoy these interesting conconctions that people come up with! Do you have any ideas on how to come up with a full meal (main dish, side dish) out of other sources of protein for supper?
Also what if one spouse is willing to cut down on these “luxuries” while the other spouse considers them necessities so will not cut down? Any ideas how to deal with that?
SJSinNYC, it is hurtful when someone has a psak that makes you feel rejected, however our opinion is not really what counts in Yiddishkeit. The only opinion that is accepted is Torah and Daas Torah. My parents actually got a similar psak. They are allowed to invite our family who carries as long as they don’t carry to their house. It was a little of an uncomfortable situation but for the sake of Shalom and to maintain the closeness of the family they accepted this and don’t carry to my parents’ home. Just as you expect people to accept other peoples’ more makil psakim whether or not they understand it, you must respect more machmir psakim whether or not you accept it even (especially)if it affects you indirectly in which case you are nogeia badavar and cannot think straight about it.
There are two videos (very short, approximately a minute each) that I think many of you would benefit from watching.
I did not read all the posts but I did read a few that the writer(s) expressed their view that the main thing is that the individual is leading a moral and productive lifestyle. As long as they are off drugs etc., they are okay whether or not they believe in G-d.
This link will hopefully explain that away.
http://www.aish.com/societyWork/salomonSays/Taking_God_for_a_Ride.asp
An other video that came to mind upon reading one of Itzik_s’s posts (“And you choose a particular TORAH lifestyle, not whatever lifestyle you see fit and then try to reconcile that to what you want to pick and choose from Torah.”) was the following. Although, Rabbi Becher is referring to belief of the X-tians’ “Messiah”, I think it can be understood with other topics as well.
http://www.aish.com/literacy/concepts/The_Real_Messiah$.asp
Enjoy.
less chumras,
How did he tell you the story if he died?
Shindy,
Who said there is anything wrong with being a “frummy”? That should be a compliment as opposed to an insult. But anyway, about your comment. You’re right, I shouldn’t have said it that way. But once I brought it up, let me clarify. I shouldn’t have made such a blanket statement. There are those girls who come really to learn and stay off the streets (I don’t mean literally; they go to the supermarket etc.) but they don’t go out for ice cream all the time and don’t talk loudly on the buses. Then there are those who, I guess you can negate the previous sentences for them. They do do all the above and more unfortunately. I am not even saying that I would not have acted that way. They obviously don’t realize. Most of them are good girls who just don’t get that they are living in a regular city where everyone is living a regular day to day life while they are in a sort of camp setting except in middle of a regular neighborhood. So, as I said, this should not be taken as loshon horah on a whole group, but on certain individuals who you (and even I) do not know who they are. So, why am I bringing this up? Because most girls in sems here, have more opportunities for “fun”. I in no way have anything against fun. I think it’s very important. But you have to seriously consider what the purpose of your daughter’s year is here. Fun? Or learning? Growing? Or all of the above?
You say you weren’t such a tzadeikes at that age yet. Well neither was I and don’t htink I am a tzadeikes right now either. Maybe when I am your age I will be one! (I am MUCH closer to the sem girls age than to your age, by the way, so I can probably remember what it’s like better than you can. Besides for that, I’m sure you know more than me. I hope I didn’t come across as someone who thinks she knows it all. I didn’t mean to.)
Shindy,
I will be across the ocean by yom kippur so I doubt I will be davening near her! (But there are others like her…) I actually ended up near her because I was sitting in the seat next to mine. Someone accidentally sat in my seat… I made sure to get my seat back and she wasn’t there the whole time (although she kept switching seats so ended up near me a few times…)
Whatever, hopefully I will only have quiet daveners near me in New York!
I am not for going away for sem at all, but if it is necessary for whatever reason, I think I would chose a sem outside of israel. I live in Yerushalayim right now and am not so impressed with what I see of the girls in Sem. In Gateshead, they can gain really a lot without all the fun, fun, fun. So if a girl is really serious about going to sem and learning, she won’t mind going to one out of eretz yisroel. Of course if she wants to get a chance to be in Eretz Yisroel and go to the kosel, kevarim etc., why not spend succos there (it’s cheaper to fly there than to the U.S., and she probably will not be desperate to come home just a few weeks after arriving.)
there definitely is a link to slowness and kavana (but to a limit). Reading a ywn article is not a good comparison. When we are davening there is much deeper meaning behind each words and one tries to relate it to themselves. It could be in some places davening is too shlepped out though.
I do have an other complaint that I wonder if any of you agree with. Since in the ezras nashim the davening is quiet. (as opposed to the men where everyone davens out loud) I find it extremely irritating when I find myself standing near a woman who davens, not in a whisper but with a very low voice. I understand that she was probably trying to be makpid that she hears every word and did not intend to irritate me but I found it really hard to consentrate when I have this person near me davening in such an annoying way.
Any ideas how to deal with such a situation if I find myself in the same boat on Yom Kippur?
(I know on the yomim noraim especially I should try to tolerate others but it is REALLY hard)
Hi. Discussing such a topic may very possibly be a pretty serious form of Loshon Hara. I don’t think you can openly discuss derogotory comments about a business (or in this case probably a tzedaka organization) as you can cause them to lose business. If you need to know, ask someone who was there directly as that may be allowed. (I am not sure.)
Moderator, maybe close this thread, or at least don’t post any replies unless you are 100% sure that they are mutar. Thanks.
My friend told me the other day that her sister wanted to go to slichos and leave her BABY (~5-6 month old!) home and leave the phone on speaker and asked her sister (my friend) to leave her phone on to use as a moniter! I was sure she refused because it’s unsafe but no! She wanted to go to sleep! I was shocked. Besides for the fact that the phone could get disconnected at any time without notice, what if there is a fire? What if the baby stops breathing? I am aware that these things cannot always be caught even if the mother is home but there is a much greater chance. I don’t have a child yet but I find it hard to understand how a child is not precious enough to a mother to give up her desires for the sake of the child’s safety.
Give Me A Break,
About time you take a break; get off this site and find yourself a real juicy goyishe site. the harm it can cause you is worth it rather than cause harm to many other people who read your silly posts.
Moderator:
Keep it up!
SJSinNYC
Member
So if its just something people do to “follow the crowd” or blend in, why is it such a big deal if someone wears a “colored” shirt? My cousin asked me that about every guy I ever set her up with (or tried to) and she wouldnt date a guy who wore a colored shirt. I still dont understand the significance.
___________________________________________________
I am not sure if there is a major significance in the black & white thing but your cousin probably wants to marry a certain type of guy. Chances are the type of guy she wants to marry would not wear colored shirts. By wearing this “dress code” you are sort of wearing like a club t-shirt. It doesn’t mean that it is required or there is anything wrong with wearing a blue shirt. So in essence it’s not really the color clothes your cousin cares about but the group the guy belongs to which is sort of expressed by the clothing. How that came about to begin with is an other story. So it’s not such an outward trivial thing really. I hope this makes sense to you.
I wasnt talking about halacha. I was talking about a meforesh on tanach. You cannot always follow both opinions but they are still both right! There is even a concept about havaros that when the torah was given it sort of branched into 12 tubes and each shevet heard it with a different havara. Also, wouldn’t Hillel and Shamai be a good example? We are told to follow bais Hillel but Shamai was not wrong.
I remember learning that even if 2 meforshim say the exact opposite, they are both correct in a way we don’t really understand. Correct me if I am wrong.