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its all about the $$$$
ALL
lol if it does then you most probably wouldnt wanna be “meshdech” with a family like that anyway keep whats important to you on the forefront and dont cave to pressure, hatzlacha!
actully intrestingly enough since touro had two guys go to harvard last semester they are having someone come down to touro from harvard to speak to the school about their specifilly prob law school but possibly their school in general
live right -he wouldnt have to ask us if we would just tell him to do what he feels is right the reason he posted this was to get other ideas
as long as you are in yeshiva for the right reasons then you should be able to know yourself and know when you are ready to leave and i dont mean that in a bad way being in yeshiva cause you want to even if ur not learning the whole day is still a good reason as much as all the balei habatim would like to argue but ultimitly it comes down to honesty and asking a rebbe
hope i didnt sound to cynical in this post 🙂
honestly as cliche as it seems,touro but if ur looking for something quicker then try the 1 year program from fDU
you wont notice any changes but will probably effect the GDP and federal govt workers the govt has a contingency plan that takes effect right away
i agree to some extent, what on earth is so hard if its so wonderfull? shouldnt it be geshmak and easy(ish) i have many friends wwho shrug and say ” yea its work” and only one or two who say “its awesome” and that they are happier now then they ever were… i dont get it
but it is unnatrual for a guy to cry regularly there is a reason a guy must “get there” and women are at that point already, there is nothing wrong with a guy who cries but there is something wrong with a guy who cries often or even more then once in a while/blue moon…its unnatrual and unhealthy
when i say that we “cant” get ourselves to cry i mean physically we actually CANNOT get the water to come out of our eyes no matter how emotonal almost any situation is it takes alot to get a man to cry… thats just how the chemical balance works i guess…
ps. i really am not trying to come off all macho at all this is just how it is
i actually understand what you are saying… and as ashamed i am to admit it and you can ask any man there are times when i have so much stress for things at once and i mean emotional stress that i have told my friends that i need a good cry but i just cant, we just cant get ourselves to cry but we can understand the feeling of needing one… that is of course that we only feel that once in a great while, whilst women have that like twice a day from what ihear 🙂
i dont understandm, you are writing so men should understand why you/women need to cry ?
are you convinced oy?
the jones’s
rabbo orlofsky,orlowick,riette
showing “well he could have meant this or it was only in this situation that he said that…” no! he said NOT A WEEK GOES BY that means that every week innocent husbands or sons discover somthing that they had NO inrest in finding or even if they did have taivos never dreamed of using this as an outlet and are now TRAPPED bec of this and are on the paths to ruining thier lives! WAKE UP!!! DONT TRY TO “FARENFER” EVERYTHING AND JUST ACCEPT THE FACT NOBODY IS ABOVE IT
lol wow dont you see how you are lying to yourself !?! WAKE UP! of course there were outlets before the internet but that isnt the point, the point ist that now someone who is INNOCENT AND PURE can stumnble and hit the lowest lows! you sound like crazy people taking every word that is said and showing
…we live in dark times … darker even now that people are to SCARED to accept it…
FOR ALL THOSE WHO ARGUE STILL AGAINST FLTERS, just to bring the point home … make sure you read the last 2 sentences again and again and again
“As Rabbi Yosef Viener from Agudas Yisrael Monsey said in a recent talk on
Family Security:
a problem in Chinuch Habanim or Banos, or a very fine Bochur who will call
affected, or a family member, or a neighbor, or the chaver sitting next to them
in shul, or the chavrusah sitting across from them in yeshiva. If you
that there is no single problem facing the yechidim in klal Yisrael and
communities at large, there is no bigger problem than this. Nothing
lightly. Keep in mind, the people who come to me are so frum and so upset
there are thousands of people who would never even speak to their Rav. I
than then 90% chance that people have already been Nichshal in your house.
i can hear both ways but i just feel that there can never be propor shalom bayis there would always be this unresloved tension one bec of the double life and two bec of the fact that the person hid it from me and “conned” me into this relationship why should the innocent spouse have to suffer the rest of their lives bec one person decided to be selfish and marry knowing it was all a facade
now that its post fast i can confidently say grapes are the best thing ive ever eaten before a fast did it this year for the first time and it was awesome
you missed my point it was that… its not spying and not that your husband is doing anything im sure he is a great guy but that a man who does fall prey to something like this is likely to not tell his spouse until its either out of control or she finds out by herself and this is for a few reasons
1)he doesnt wanna hurt her
2)he feels he will be able to get out of it before anyone is the wiser
and spying… no definitly not, there should be a mutual understanding that this has the yecholis to get anyone and if you dont believe it read some stories on gye nobody is above this and dont be that niave parent/spouse who says NOT MY SON/HUSBAND/
by now ypou should know better than that
lakewood- i would sit down with them and have a serious discussion about where they are holding in thier personal life and make them make a decsion right then and rhere where they wanna go, bec i wanna live a certain way and i want the person i live with to be that way
so where are we holding now for those who just joined the newest “i dont belive” thread? summery anyone?
oy1 -bec im sure if there WAS an issue c’v it wouldve came up over dinner…oy….
his point being???
lol r9913 …l-o-l
so sad how naive the world is in the darkest of times, good luck!
again you make good points and you are posting youre questions in the wrong places, there are many people who yopu can ask any question you like to, take 2 hours or 3 and sit down with___________ and ask trust me they have had harder scrutiny then youre questions and i dont mean that in a bad way but rabbi jonathen sacks had a debate on live TV with the worlds biggest atheist, rabbbi gottlieb has and still does argue with many philosophers in front of crowds as well as lawrence keleman, r. akiva tatz, r. jonathen riette, r.orlofsky, rabbi mechanic, r. noah wienberg a”h and many more NOBODY ON THIS SITE WILL HELP YOU you must be honest with yourself first and that takes people years so either do it or dont do it but dont be a wuss and continusly post youre personal conflicts to people you will never have to face and ppl whom you have no idea who they are ask someone who opens the floor to the entire graduating yale philosophy class for 2 hours to ask whatever they want on judaisim! what youre doing is cowardice and about as untruthfull to yourslef as you can get
ok this is gonna be long and possible a tad complicated so keep bear with me
i completely hear your prob and i had the same prob not to long ago you must take time to sit alone and think honestly to yourself if what you know now about judaisim is enough that a rational person NOT YOU PER SE but another different rational person would say that the odds are its true NOT that there is proof of any sort but just a reasonable amount of evidence that would make a rational person of a court of law compelled to say its true or at least CAN be true now when you come up with your answer… if its yes then ask yourself 2 questions 1)are the questions that im asking really bothering me as questions or are they maybe just whisps of and yes i hate to say it but OCD lingering within me for if it wasnt ocd why then would i not feel this way more often about many other parts of yiddishkiet (granted yom kippur makes sense to feel this way more but so much so that you cant get yourself to say a few words on a page? that even according to you mean nothing?! if you were to ask a non religous jew who isnt against judaisim but just not a believer he would be able to say the words without a problem maybe not mean what he says but say the words nonetheless)
if your answer is no then you must say to yourself this ” i came to this conclusion through logic, now logic would as well dictate that if i had on one side of the scale a good reason to believe that something WASNT true and on the other side even a tiny tiny chance to believe it was (which btw even richard dawkins would agree there is a tiny tiny chance) and as well on the side to believe it was the promise of eternal happiness (gan eden or at least not gehinom) then that vs the other side of nothingness after death; the side with eternal anything will win bec its ETERNAL so by definition its worth the risk of going to that side bec the promise is forever so the risk is worth the return! so all the more so if its just one day of your life!”
there is more to say on this topic but tell me what you think of this first
ps. just a side point, if this does come from a touch of ocd nothing anyone will ever tell you will help you must be completely and rigorously honest with yourself and ask yourself what a rational 3rd person would make of this evidence that may be the only way
WIY you couldnt have said it better, there is no point in arguing these people will say whatever they think regardless of what you say if they havent had a firsthand experience (and i mean by firsthand having a close relationship whether friend or family who suffers from this)and you know what; god bless them, but unfortunately they are like kids who tell their parents “but my friend said that its not so bad” or “it looks so funny/weird”… may hashem bless them that they never have to understand why those ads are so crucial…it may sound over done bec we always hear old rabbis with long white beards talking about “shmutz” or the “terrors of the internet” and so that already gives it a
“yeshivish” look to the problem,but ask the people who were part of families that were torn apart by it if they think its a “jewishy problem”
ps. do they not think that a site like GYE has many many psychologists working with them and they would know by now what the best way to put up and ad would be ??? and the proof is…THIS THREAD LOL the fact that we are discussing this right now!
dont know if its true or not but i imagine it is bec they are amazing seforim and pretty famous so if they werent done by now…i happen to have been looking for them in eglish but couldnt find any so i guess ill have to learn them in lashon kodesh… which now thinking about it i guess was the reason he didnt wana have them translated 🙂
well said gaminat just to add when we put a fence around things even by just referring to it with differant words it already puts us one step further from saying something insensitive even by mistake
i dont mean to judge but moi you sound like somone who has a problem with “jewishy stuff” in general rather than just those two words…
i’m sorry “just my hapence” if i sounded condescending it happens sometimes when i get into an argument with someone who is just so amicable,
firstly congratulations on having never smoked a cigarette a true accomplishment in life and definitely something that makes you a better person although i don’t think a better judge of those who do
secondly you mentioned 2 PLACES in the mir that you have learned in surely even you who knows just so much about the yeshiva and seemingly all other yeshivas wouldn’t dare say that you can attest for most peoples either learning or not learning in that specific institution
thirdly i cant honestly say or not say anything about work if one would get the pink slip for doing “various activities” but i can say that sadly you missed my entire point about being motivated, my point was that the reason work is so much easier is simply bec there is a nice monetary incentive and so even if one doesn’t enjoy it per se they can still have tangible accomplishment here and now as apposed to learning where hopefully one must wait 120 yrs for that feeling and definitely doesn’t have it on this earth in regards to housing, cars and other assorted items that working people have that many of us would consider luxuries,
thank you for your time sir
i know you visited the site already and don’t mean to press the issue or put anyone down here but there is so much about that site that you will find amazing just spend an hour on it and you’ll see what i mean,(again maybe you already have i don’t know but just in case you haven’t)there are people just like you, plus professionals etc. so … go be pure again 🙂
dear just my hapence
in regard to you being in the mir,kudos, i was also in the mir and i cannot imagine which building you were in that MOST people were doing what you described,unless, and i mean this with no bad conotations at all, you were amongst them and it seemed as if “everyone” was like that,and in regards to your third statement about the male vs. female yetzer hora, just take a look at the statistics for “illicit” behavior and men beat women by a huge margin in fact all of these things cater to men bec they cannot control themselves as easily.and agav in regards to comparing things to the workplace the differance is that there there is a specific amount of work that must get done and if its done dont tell me that people dont have a coffee or play minesweeper besides for the fact that learning isnt as easy as work in being that 1) there is no monetary compensation so its more of a challange 2)its not always as intresting and it requiers a nice amount of thinking so once again, an ignorant argument…
im curios what you think happens in bmg during first seder, what its like a party or something? 9:30 everyone shows up opens thier gemarah and walks into the coffee room for about an hour and then goes for a smoke and only after that they come back inside to learn for like 15 min and then they go to sleep… this is what it seems is your view of what happens in yeshivas! have you ever even stepped foot into a yeshiva? into the mir? into bmg? into brisk? where are you getting this absolutley wrong information? im so happy that you posted ur post bec now people can see that the argument made against yeshivas is coming from ignorance
GUARDYOUREYES.COM
also in the 60s (i think or whenever botteled water started selling) water in NY was free and they would advertise “our competition is free and your still coming to us”
i always liked the mega millions slogan “hey you never know” it kinds makes u think
I agree but it’s not for beginners, just google the basic questions and then after a while dansdeals will be a huge help
Wow didn’t expect to see a thread like this here .. Did u by mistake start it here and meat to start it on the Jerusalem post ???
try a secure credit card from ur bank its an intresting way and it takes a little time to build up good credit but its effective. also if you get put onto somones card as and authorized user a parent or what not u can have a card and they view it as if u have their credit score or somehting like that i belive so the longer they have had the card the better and of course they shoulf have a good cc score and most of all when u get a card spend wisly!
I have I agree except I wouldn’t say they are disturbed mentally, but a big part of it is that their husbands don’t say anything . A women with respect For her husband will automatically dress tznius and btw if ur proof is too look at how many women don’t cover their knees to show that they JUST “CANT”eg; rebtzins etc. go look at how many women DO COVER THIER KNEES, um all the chassidhish communities and if u don’t wanna compare urslef to them then look at practically any country besides for America or even most city’s outside of ny not all but most , it’s a matter of what society enforces as important and what they don’t and unfortunatly nobody really cares anymore so … And also NOBODY CANNOT DO SOMETHING UNLESS THEY ARE AN ADDICT OR SOMETHING OF THE LIKE AND I DOUBT THEY ARE ADDICTED TO WALKING AROUND WITH SHORT SKIRTS… ( mayb addicted to ppl staring at them though lol)
…shatnez