I. M. Shluffin

Hi Searcher – it sounds like you are assuming that the OP is a male and all of the comments are directed towards men. I would say that all of the points that were made – and there were some very meaningful and practical ones – are equally applicable to men and women.
It can be excruciating, confusing, and even terrifying to feel stuck between “I’m in so much pain and can’t bring myself to daven to the source of my pain” and “Maybe my not davening is the source of my pain,” while also feeling “But I tried davening yesterday and it didn’t get any better, so why bother”.
One thing I want to make clear is that there is no reason to feel shame in not davening. Davening is an opportunity to connect, to have a conversation, to lift yourself spiritually, to tap into the reserves of brachos that Hashem has for us, and yes, to change the natural order. Yes, there are halachic requirements, even for a woman. But you can fulfill that obligation pretty easily, depending on which mehalech you follow. According to some, you can simply say “Hi, Hashem. Please grant me strength today. Thanks.” Davening is an opportunity for growth and connection, but there’s absolutely no reason to feel like you’re a bad person for not opening up a siddur when you’re in pain.
The Jews in Mitzrayim were under such agony that all they could do was groan, and Hashem heard that as a prayer. Why? Because when a non-Jew groans and screams, he’s essentially saying “G-d, I can’t take it anymore.” When a Jew groans and screams, he/she is essentially saying “G-d, help me.” It’s simply the inner essence of a Jew. Our neshamos cry out to Hashem when we’re in pain, and that silent prayer has a direct connection to the Master of the World. Hashem hears you. Make no mistake about it. Hashem hears you, and He’s crying with you, and He is holding you every step of the way, even when you can’t feel it. This is the nature of our galus, as well – that He is hidden behind a curtain and we can’t feel that He’s there. It’s a very normal feeling to think that He’s nowhere to be found. We’re so used to seeing things with our eyes, and it’s difficult to imagine something we cannot see. Sometimes we can feel like we’re groping around in the dark and there’s no one to help us. Don’t think you’re the only one. But He’s there. He’s here. Hashem is right here, and He loves you so much, and holding your hand, and He’s with you in your pain and He’s davening with you. Read and reread the words of hope in this thread and find something small that will carry you through today. Hashem’s got you, and you got this.

Whoah, whoah. Slow down. While there’s definitely truth to your second point, I don’t think it’s fair to imply that Modern Orthodox people (I don’t know much about non-Jewish marriage) don’t care as much about looks simply because they know they can divorce them if they fall out of love. No guy is standing under a Modern Orthodox chuppah thinking, “Let’s give it a try, and if it doesn’t end up working out it’s ok because she wasn’t that pretty anyway.” No one goes into marriage planning for divorce.
I’m hoping I misunderstood your words.

AKA classroom participation

After you’ve finished learning how to drive a tricycle and all your scrapes and bruises have healed. Give it a week or two for the last step.

Also the Bais Yaakov 2 cookbook has a fantastic recipe.

I spent my tisha b’av sitting on the floor and watching hundreds of Yidden on the Kotel cam, men and women who filled the plaza at every hour of the night and day, praying for you and me, praying for the geulah, singing niggunim in unison and with heartrending beauty and simplicity. I respect each and every Jew who is praying for others, saying hello to them, and encouraging his or her brothers and sisters. Mi k’amcha Yisrael.

Perhaps I’m merely projecting, but I think many of our “beliefs” are created based on the opinions of others or our own ideas. This is fine to a point, but also somewhat juvenile. If we want to share our opinions with others, it is important to do all we can to confirm those theories. Good scientists and experimental psychologists don’t just blindly accept everything they hear or read – they do their own study and see what the data has to say about it. If a belief you have is being challenged, perhaps that means there is more to find out about it. Investigating it will only bring more truth to the world; it’s ok if you’re wrong and it’s ok if you’re right. Don’t take my word for it – find out yourself.

I’d say I’m a model citizen simply because I wear black tights in the winter and non-black tights in the summer.

I’ve always wondered why non-Jews buy cholent pots. What exactly are they making in there?

I often forget how to act like an adult in public. My friends say they don’t know me when we’re walking together and I jump onto a street barrier.
Sometimes I think it’s Wednesday for 4 days straight.
After taking a test, I generally forget all the information I studied for 5 hours that morning. Ok, maybe that’s selective amnesia. But it’s not like I’ll ever need to know it again.
I’ve searched for my glasses for hours before realizing I was wearing them.
I wonder why it takes so long for my pot to boil. Then I realize I turned on the wrong burner. I now hallucinate about smoke alarms.
Never get in a car with me; I’m still working on the left versus right thing, as well as the brake versus gas.
I could go on and on with this list, but I forgot all my other incidents.
I’m at peace with my absent-mindedness, but it’s nice to know I’m not the only one 😉 Oh, the stove!

“What if I am not real but my imaginary friends are?”

That was the deepest thing I’ve heard all day, and I plan on spending the rest of the night contemplating it.

I’m a staunch advocate of gender equality: I think women should have the same right to kill themselves as men have. Everyone is entitled to their own wrong opinions.

As an alternative, there is an idea to dress nicely on Purim, like in Shabbos clothes.

Made pop tart hamantaschen tonight – two triangles of dough on top of each other, filled with jelly and pinched closed all around the sides with a fork. Topped it with icing and sprinkles. SO good.

Make sure not to mention your screen name on the CR. Otherwise they’ll REALLY get to see who you are.

Additionally, I would suggest including all the chesed hours you kept the principal company in his office in elementary, as well as a list of recipes you’re comfortable with, so he really knows what he’s getting himself into (this should be a given), and achievements such as making it into the camp video, white-water rafting in your bathtub, and making grumpy cats grumpy.

Wow, I guess that last one was so hard that everyone gave up.

What is the Torah perspective on de-extinction via modern biotechnology?

If it’s a hora’as sha’ah, such as the one you described above, you should def say tehillim

I think little froggie is pretty funny

I see what you’re saying, reuventree. Late starters to Yiddishkeit get so much encouragement and support when they start out, and are applauded at every small step forward. Once they seem to know what they’re doing, there doesn’t seem to be much support. Correct me if I’m warping the situation, but it seems to me the same case as a child learning to walk. Every shaky step receives a standing ovation when we’re just starting out at age 1 or so, but once the kid starts walking regularly it doesn’t garner such admiration. Is this necessarily a bad thing? I think not. I don’t think it’s misleading to praise a child for progress and then neglect to do so once they’ve achieved independence. I think it would be silly to do so, and won’t accomplish anything. I’m 20 years old and I don’t need someone to celebrate my ability to walk. (That shouldn’t, of course, take away from my own appreciation of said ability.) Encouragement and support is one hundred percent essential and effective to a BT starting his path, and will provide a solid foundation for a person’s Judaism and relation to his brethren, and love of Hashem and His Torah. Once that foundation has been laid, however, they don’t need to be told that “It’s amazing that you are keeping Shabbos! You are so great!” every time they do so. It may even seem insulting.

“Mod willing” – Oh, that’s so great [insert crying happy face here]. I’ll have to use that one.

All secular medieval literature should be burned. I’m speaking from a well-educated place – I just took a class on medieval lit. There’s no easy way around it. Just burn it and wipe it off the face of the web. Way too much twisting of morals going on.

“Do you think Machon Raaya would be okay with me going away to college?”

Well, most girls who got to MR attend college the next year; many go to Sarah Schenirer schools, many go to Touro, some to Stern, some to secular colleges. The teachers won’t encourage it outright but most won’t try to convince you out of it. You’re free to be who you are within the boundaries of halacha and hashkafa. The girls are generally more open-minded and come from all different places, so it’s really well-balanced and I’m sure you won’t have trouble finding your niche. Sounds like you’d be a great fit, if you ask me.

“Some aspects of age-related cognitive decline begin in healthy educated adults when they are in their 20s and 30s.”

Salthouse, T. A. (2009). When does age-related cognitive decline begin?. Neurobiology of aging, 30(4), 507-514.

I really like the tzenah urenah. The english version is an easy read, and I always learn something new when I go through the parsha. Probably cus I don’t read it so often.

It was the main source of Torah for pre-Bais Yaakov movement women in Europe, right before Sara Schenirer stepped in, so it also makes me feel connected to my roots in that way.