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I’ll try to keep this brief- which automatically means this’ll be reaaly long 😀 hopefully it’ll be up long enough for you to read it…
“I have the heart, but not the actions….so much that don;t involve the heart.”
First of all, you should know that EVERYTHING is about heart. If you have heart, you’re in wonderful shape: Rachmana liba ba’ee. Secondly, the heart is your base & you work outward from there to fulfill halacha. Every halacha has heart involved; sometimes you have to search for it more than in others & at the very least you’ll find it in as much as every halacha makes up the path haShem showed us to connect i.e. to develop a warmer relationship with Him.
“How can one focus going higher in one area, while keeping up with everything else on the same level..somewhere something gives in…”
Here’s an idea I found worked for me. Ever play ping-pong? Two people slap the ball back & forth at varying levels of speed depending on their expertise. The ball, is your thoughts. Believe it or not the human brain has an incredible capacity for quick thinking. This idea helps more if you believe in the power of your brain, so I will digress to try & help you with that. Even if we’re not cognizant of it, our subconscious is constantly firing off & receiving neural transmitting to keep the awesomely complex system that is our bodies running smoothly. So, haShem already put that ability into each of us. Our conscious brain has the ability to tune into that subconscious power & attempt to ‘bring it up to speed’. It may never reach the same levels- depending on how much attention you pay to it. So, what you do is, take a moment to stop & think. Arrange all the issues you have to balance in your mind- or on a piece of paper, whatever works best for you. It doesn’t matter if you get all of them, just as many as you can- you’ll get more & more the more experience you get with this. Then allow your brain to sink together & synchronize as much as possible, thinking of your thoughts like a ping-pong ball flying back & forth between each idea to make sure as much as possible that they are consistent in growth.
I hope this isn’t too sci-fi & I really hope it works for you & if not, that you find some other way of being m’chazek yourself. RBS”O yimalei kol mishalos LIB/ach/a l’tova
3 messages [distilled]: 1. do shnayim mikra- it’s good for your health.
2. Say tehillim, takes you out of tzaros- the ending letter of each of the first four words of Shmos spell it out & then says ‘habaim mitzrayma’- lit. that came to Mitrayim, but understood here- came into ‘narrow place’- difficulty
3. Third is the Torah only speaks out things which aren’t obvious; so, by Sarah it spoke out how miraculous it was for her at 90 to give birth, whereas by Yocheved, who gave birth at 130 it didn’t speak out the miracle- because the entire episode of y’tzias mitzrayim was one of miracles! have a great Shabbos!