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Jews need to stop employing Arabs. There are enough Jews to build, stack shelves etc if employers pay a decent salary. Employ people with disabilities.
And Israel needs to stop caring what the rest of the world thinks.
I agree, but if significant details can be changed, perhaps lessons can be learned from the anecdote. We thrive on stories of the Baal Shem Tov, Rav Nachman of Breslov & others, where emunah etc overcome trials & tribulations.
But how about this? Imagine a Chabadnik experiences a personal neis involving the Rebbe (pre-Gimmel Tammuz) & the next thing you know, the full details are going to be spread in a magazine? That happened to me. I had to call my parents & in-laws to warn them before some “well-meaning” person called them up & blurted out the story. We hadn’t told our family anything, but obviously they were going to find out. Fortunately, the editor was a friend and asked permission to print, which I did not give. A narrow escape, but it made me realize that privacy is not always kept. Perhaps it’s time to remind those in whom we confide about confidentiality.
Don’t feel bad, mine don’t get through either.
Really? What did you post that didn’t go through?
As a Chabadnika with children on Shlichus, Farbycoffee is right. However, I agree it was posted for sensationalism, to provoke & to exacerbate anti-Lubavitch sentiment, which is definitely alive and kicking, and often given free rein on YWN. I don’t know why now…boredom? The Kinus? It’s November? All I want to say (without having read the comments) is that I PERSONALLY have seen nisim from the Rebbe in ways I would never believe had they not happened to my family. And again, I say that as a Chabadnika.
Can we please point fingers at ourselves & stop hating?
I had vax #1, got Covid, recovered, got Vax #2 & I’m waiting for the booster.
I heard a semi-funny “joke” the other day…a child overheard mom reminiscing with Bubby about getting chicken pox. He asked what is chicken pox? Well, says mom, you don’t know what it is because there’s a vaccine….
Anti-vaxers put my immuno-compromised grandkids at risk. They can’t be vaxed, but you selfish people who refuse to get the vaccination could pass on the virus to them. But what do you care? As long as you get to have your rights… what about my grandkids’ rights to be safe from disease?
Why not? Fire engine red & bright yellow are harsh on the eye & attract attention, but maroon is a muted color. If you are looking for approval, you have mine.
Yes, you are right, thank you for clarifying my point.
It’s all about personal interests: Bennett is obsessed with being PM; Lieberman is determined to destroy any vestiges of Jewish life; Lapid is just a suave lowlife who is waiting in the wings to impose his agenda.
But because nobody in Israel can get along politically with anyone it will collapse soon. I can only pray they don’t do any damage before then.
And priorities & materialism are less important here. We make do with less, although we live decently.
Absolutely, but it’s a worldwide Jewish problem, that we open our hearts & homes to people we believe are Kosher Jews and they aren’t. Look at the growing numbers of Russians who immigrate here, purporting to be Halachic Jews but who aren’t.
When our first child was getting married in NY (we were from UK) we went to the Beis Din with my Ketubah. The Rav was shocked, waved my husband away & told him “no need.” Meanwhile, even though we had lived there for 12 years we had no family there, no one to vouch for us Jewishly. We swore then that we would only make shidduchim with people we knew or if the shadchan knew the family personally. And that’s exactly what we did.
I can’t begin to imagine the Halachic implications of what went on here, and the trauma to everyone they came in contact with. Deport them & spread all their details around the world. If the JA could put us through the ringer when we made Aliyah, how did these con artists slip through the net?
I would have thought the reasons for approaching family members is obvious: that their embarrassment at being publicly named as close relatives will cause them to pressure the gett refuser to stop his vindictive and cruel behavior and give the gett.
And as a sidebar: if I still had children to marry off, I’d insist on a Halachic pre-nup, which protects both parties. I will push for it for my grandchildren, 3 of whom are rapidly approaching shidduchim.
I think the moderators/editors have lives outside YWN. It’s erev Pesach for them too and sometimes it takes time for them to approve comments. Of course, if your comments are rude, crude, lewd or generally not in keeping with frum values (or they just don’t like them!!) they may decide not to post. It’s subjective, after all.
Obviously, none of you is considering what’s going on in Israel. Despite the almost 100% of “back to normal” activities, there have been a number of new cases: in Jerusalem, Bnei Braq, Beit Shemesh & Rehovot. And as predicted, most are related to schools opening. Hundreds of children, teachers & their families are either sick with obvious symptoms or in quarantine. I’m not a doctor, nor am I a layer as the famed CTlawyer is, but as a mother & grandmother, I don’t think the schools should have been virtually the first thing to be opened. A number of families I know are still not sending their children & in their position, I’d do the same.
Remember, often children are carriers & don’t display symptoms. And here in Beit Shemesh, I’d say about 50-70% of the people I see (mainly frum men) are not wearing masks. The stores aren’t abiding by their obligations either. So to answer the original question, I say… in Israel, absolutely.
Stay well, chag sameach, Shabbat shalom, a guten yom tov & a guten shabbos.
Schools were closed in B’nei Braq today because teachers tested positive & all the kids are now quarantined. So much for the herd immunity! It has slowed down significantly here, but there are new cases and deaths every day (small numbers but still)
To answer the question, I think Mistykins has the best POV. I think though you would have to ask such a person directly…. he will probably say because his Ruv told him so.
What a wonderful thing to do! May we not need it.
Instead of worrying how to marry off our children, try worrying how they will manage if the unthinkable happens & these children become yesomim.
How are we, the community, expected to support all these families when so many of us aren’t working? And WHY, if we can’t put food on the table, can’t pay rent or mortgage, are we expected to contribute? These cases are tragic, but quite honestly, I am disturbed by repetitive ads for this Rebbetzin’s unmarried children or that melamed’s almoneh. What can we do if we don’t have anything to spare? We can’t be guilted into giving what we don’t have.
If Yeshivas and other employers can’t or won’t contribute towards life insurance policies, and if the parents can’t pay premiums, how about forgetting lavish dinners and concerts, and get donors to give to a universal life insurance fund.
Another thing. Every week in AMI & elsewhere we see ads for frum yungermen who have achieved great success in selling insurance. To whom? To Rebbes in Yeshiva ? To Mashgichim or supermarket cashiers? I’d like to think that these insurance companies and Platinum Salesmen are contributing to help ordinary community members afford policies that will protect their families if the unthinkable happens.
All these flowery descriptions of “special people”, “devoted melamdim”, “pillars of chesed” & my personal favorite, “we owe it to them to help their families” doesn’t make it possible for us to support them. I wish we could, but we are struggling too.
Please… spend $5 a week (it may be less!) on life insurance. These wonderful people didn’t expect to die! They didn’t prepare. Learn from their mistakes, & may we never need it, but have it anyway. It buys peace of mind.
Not bad at all. Thousands have died in a matter of weeks, but hey, who cares? As long as it’s not us.
Yet.
My daughter is taller than her husband. One son married a girl older than he. If these girls reject good bochurim because of such stupid narishkeit, then they deserve to sit and wait. Get real, there is a major problem and you need to adjust your priorities if you want to build a bayit ne’eman b’Yisroel..
R”L, a Chabad bochur from Be’er Sheva drowned in Mexico yesterday on a beach famous for scuba diving. This isn’t a call for Teshuva… we are doing that to the best of our ability! It’s a call for basic common sense and an understanding of nature’s danger. Preparation, protection & knowledge of the environment.
Nice one, Apushatayid! That’s funny!
Neville, you obviously aren’t one of my faithful fans. I’m crushed. I’m a SHE, not a HE. And clearly, you don’t get the significance of your own nom de plume in relation to my comment. In case you don’t know what that is, I went to Merriam-Webster: “nom de plume definition is – a name that a writer uses instead of his or her real name : pseudonym, pen name. ”
Anyway, I’m bored with our banter so I think I’ll call it a day. All the best!
If you’re worried, do what I did: call the OU in US and get all your questions answered and all the information you need. I was satisfied after speaking to a Kashrus supervisor & I eat OU glatt here.
Oy Neville, you are still an appeaser… this time of the JEWISH haters. You make it so easy. Get a grip.
Who cares? How they vote is their business, they report the news. That’s their job. But one thing is clear: YWN, like everyone, despises the Gang of Four.
My two granddaughters are camp counselors at the same camp. I cautioned them both at the beginning of the summer to watch their campers like a hawk, do frequent head counts, & make sure everything and everyone is safe, no matter where they are. I can’t imagine the pain this child’s counselor & the entire camp are going through. It is a terrible, horrific tragedy that no one should have to experience. My heart bleeds for the child’s family & friends, I can’t imagine anything more horrible than to lose a precious child.
Moving forward, I think there should be more specialized training for camp counselors. They do their very best but they aren’t safety mavens. They need to attend a proper safety course given by experts, including CPR. and pass some kind of test. Recognizing abuse & bullying clearly isn’t enough.
I taught English in a Bais Yaakov & I assigned book reports. I wouldn’t allow my students to write a report on Harry Potter; I read #1 & I consider it to be avodah zora-dik. I wouldn’t let my own kids read it either. I’m all for reading decent literature (I have a list of appropriate novels for frum kids) and even though JK Rowling is a gifted writer, I can’t recommend that series. The one advantage of those novels is they got kids reading again! But there are so many quality novels that have kosher content on the market. BTW, in compiling my list I reached out to NY Diocese Catholic Schools & they were very gracious in sharing their approved book list with me.
WOW! Some of you posters are really sick & offensive.
I’m a Lubavitcher who was raised Yeshivish & I can’t begin to tell you the flack I got from my family for becoming Chabad. We are old school Chabad: We are Chassidish, we don’t compromise & quite frankly, we DON’T CARE WHO MOSHIACH IS! He just needs to show up already!
But it is incumbent of every generation to search for Moshiach of their time. Ze hu.
As for RebbetzinG… nobody in their right mind can take her rants seriously. Yes, she does do a great disservice to the majority of Lubavitchers – like us- who learn, daven, follow the hora’as of our Rebbeim & busy ourselves with helping other Jews. (Lubavitchers also don’t call police Nazis, by the way.)
As for bias on YWN against Chabad…. I don’t think that’s true. Everyone here hates equally. I have read comments from “frum” people that are shocking in their viciousness and name-calling. As someone above said, disagreeing with a particular group’s ethos is OK, attacking its members with spite & hate is another thing entirely.
Tomorrow is Gimmel Tammuz, the 25th Yartzheit of the Rebbe. I lived in Crown Heights then. Agree or disagree with Chabad & the Rebbe, we are used to that.
edited – I would have just deleted but the rest of the post was too good to pass up
And then you vayn over the fact that Moshiach isn’t here??? A gutten Shabbos to all of you, whether or not you “approve” of us. Personally, I really don’t care anymore.
To answer the question in its simplest form: VIOLENCE & HATEFUL RHETORIC.
Chabad doesn’t do it. I don’t know about other Chassidim, but the first time I saw it I was shocked… then I realized no one else seemed to notice!
Well, I think blocking RGP is long overdue. Whoever he/she is, that person is malicious, offensive & downright obnoxious. Good riddance!
Chabadshlucha, you have enough to do on your shlichus (wherever it is) without responding to all the shtussim here. Leave that to Joseph, he has plenty of time on his hands. Unless of course he is RGP’s alter ego, in which case he needs to go as well. Too many similarities between the two of them.
This Person is certifiably deranged, and a nasty troublemaker. She/He/It should be permanently blocked. Attitudes and writing styles don’t change much, if the SN changes you can still spot this wacko.
Apart from all the petty & ignorant misconceptions about Chabad (from many of you), my comment is… Rebbetzin etc, you really should get more sleep and take something to help you focus before you blither on.
Hating other Jews is not exactly in the spirit of Ahavas Yisrael. But I do agree with you on one point… you sure know where to find us when you’re stuck. Because nobody else is there, physically or in any other way, when you are stranded in Vietnam, the Amazon jungle, Addis Abbaba or any other strange place.
Chabad can always rely on being despised & used by the rest of you. You nailed it.
I am delighted this is all you MEN have to think about.
On the other hand, it’s SICK.
It’s an inyan of derech eretz, a quality that is sadly lacking in many shuls… including the one my husband davens at but where I refuse to daven any more. I agree with both sides (CTLawyer & Rebbetzin) Makom Kavuah should be adhered to, especially for someone who is there almost every Tefillah when shul opens up. It is disrespectful if someone gets up to leave for a few moments & comes back to see her seat occupied by someone else or her siddur gone.
Re Kiddushim: what I can’t stand is people double-dipping into salads, using their used fork to spear food & kids picking up pieces of kugel, cake etc with their hands, often sniffing them and putting them back! What kind of homes do they come from?? But the good thing is, it keeps me on a diet! No way would I eat from those plates.
“Clearly, Joseph beats the living daylights out of his children. I mean this seriously. I would suggest child services take a good hard look inside that dungeon.”
Probably true & yes, cps needs to get involved.
When a school employee kicked my son & the Principal refused to take action, I was in the Yeshiva the next day emptying my kids’ lockers. They never set foot in the place again, the Yeshiva lost the ONLY full tuition paying parents, & my only regret is not calling the police, because I had warned the Principal the first time it happened. I should have followed through.
We are in the 21st century, not an 18th century shtetl. I am a retired teacher & I don’t believe in hitting kids, not my own or others.
Why does 1 night have to cost so much? We married off all our kids but we held prices down & did WHAT WE COULD. Each wedding was beautiful and no debt. We rented table decorations, had a 1-man band, no bar or wine on the table, chose the menu to give biggest bang for our buck, simple but tasty shmorg with passings, a very nice dessert table. Yes, we bought the chossen/kallah nice gifts but we went wholesale & budgeted.
And who wears watches these days? Even my husband doesn’t! He uses his phone & we have -gasp-! A CLOCK in the house. BTW, factor in cost of air fares & accommodations in NY.
Bottom line: WE ARE KILLING OUR CHILDREN!
Yes, I understand that as parents, we would prefer our kids to be in school with cookie-cutter classmates. But what lessons are we teaching? That if a child is struggling she should be rejected?
I was raised in a very frum home, in a town with no Jewish school. One day, a non-Jewish little girl appeared – a foster child living in the children’s home opposite our house. It turned out her mother had shot her sister’s boyfriend. My parents encouraged me to befriend this poor child, she came over to do homework, to play, and eat a hearty supper, until the day she disappeared as quietly as she arrived.
My parents taught me a valuable lesson: to not reject, to show love & support & to help others. What has changed? Is it all to do with Shidduchim? Do these girls have cooties? What is wrong with these smug, self righteous holy rollers?
Let’s see what happens when THEIR kids go OTD. Karma, my friends, is tough.
It is reasonable for a younger boy to date – and marry – an older girl. Tell? No. Suggest, recommend, advise? Why not?
Did anyone ask Ruchie Freier what happened?
When my daughter got chicken pox (she actually had it twice) the pox got into her ears & she was deaf, until a nice Palestinian consultant operated. Did my daughter have to go through that? Unfortunately yes, because in those days, there wasn’t a vaccine.
HER daughter, at 7 years old, got shingles. For children to catch that is extremely rare, apparently. Anti-vaxxers are beyond selfish – to their own children as well as others. If you are worried about side effects, do what I did – go for single doses instead of the 3 in 1 MMR.
Charliehall… have you been in jail or something? We haven’t heard from you in a long while. And on your return, you actually posted something that makes sense, is not Marxist, and is on target. Keep it up.
The Lubavitcher Rebbetzin was 2 years older than the Rebbe.
Of course, age depends on the couple – level of maturity etc. It shouldn’t be a stigma, my son married his wonderful wife who is a little older than he is. I also had friends where he was 27 years OLDER than his wife & they had a beautiful marriage.Geordie, I now live in EY, my father was UK born & bred, a yekke (my zeidie was born in Vienna) but my altere zeidie was an Aleksander chasid who would follow the Sossover Rebbe in London. Complicated pedigree! This is one of those times when I wish I could ask my father all these questions… there’s no one left to ask.
I have no idea where this minhag came from, but my father would only put on Tefillin during chol hamoed if he had to work (he was a butcher & people needed supplies.) To be honest, I had never heard of anyone else putting on Tefillin ever during chol hamoed.
What took him so long? He was virulently antisemitic, anti-Israel & a vicious, nasty person. No loss…. on the contrary.
It depends. I make a much easier Pesach now…my kids aren’t anywhere near us, they are not coming for Pesach, so my husband & I do all the cleaning. Spring cleaning is not necessary. Dust is unpleasant but it isn’t chometz. If I find a bread roll in my sweater drawer, then I have a problem. I think it is much harder for mothers of young children to keep a more chometz-free environment.
That said, I make EVERYTHING from scratch – even a basic tomato sauce that I can use with fish , meat or chicken; mayonnaise; ice cream etc. But we do not use anything processed except kosher salt, potato starch, cocoa & oil. No milchigs. Only peeled fruits and vegetables. No spices. So for me, it is still hard work.
Wishing everyone a wonderful Yom Tov, chag kosher v’sameach & ladies… don’t stress & work yourselves so hard you can’t enjoy the seder/sedarim.
Post-Holocaust. So much more should have been done to help survivors b’gashmius u’b’ruchniyus.
I haven’t read any comments, because my blood pressure needs more monitoring, according to my cardiologist. So I am just answering the TITLE of the thread.
Disclaimer…. I am far from a Moshichist – let that be very clear. No flags, pins, signs etc & Yechi is not permitted in our or any of our children’s homes.
So here’s the thing. Chabadnikim do not daven TO the Rebbe: we daven to G-d. What we do is visit the Ohel, write to the Ohel if we are overseas & the PAN is taken to the Ohel (the wonders of modern technology being used in the right way!) to ask the Rebbe to intercede on our behalf.
We personally have seen how, after literally years of asking for a bracha to move to Eretz Yisrael, after I went to the Ohel & asked for a siman that moving to EY would be good… 2 weeks later, my husband was offered a job here.
I try to go to the Ohel as soon as I get off the plane & again right before I leave. But this is what bothers me. I’m sure there are many comments above that are offensive and scathing, so I ask you…why do people flock to kivrei Tzaddikim? Not just Shmuel HaTzaddik, or Rochel Imeinu, but to Maran Ovadia Yosef & after the yartzheit, (or before, according to custom) to HaRav Shteinerman? Why is that OK (& judging by what I have seen & the number of people crying, they are “beiten” the Tzaddik to intervene On High), but going to the Rebbe is NOT OK?
It is incumbent for every Chosid to believe his Rebbe is the Moshe Rabbeinu of the generation. And for us, the Rebbe possessed all the qualities of Moshiach. Will he be revealed as Moshiach? Well, I hope we will find out momentarily. If yes, great; if not… Moshiach will be here!! Frankly, I have no more clue than anyone & personally, I don’t believe it’s right to speculate.
I get that there are many YWN readers (some I can name) who won’t miss an opportunity to viciously denigrate not only Chabad but the Rebbe. So I made a hachlota for Chof Beis Shvat, the 30th yartzheit of Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka (whose levaya I still see); I’m not going to be drawn into any more arguments or answer even the most virulent anti-Chabadnikim. I will, however, if asked anything in a respectful manner, do my best to answer in the same vein – if I can!
May we all be zoche to greet Moshiach – whoever he is – NOW.
Dear Chabad Shlucha,
If you are OK with Joseph making sweet comments like
“What’s this business about you speaking to the Rebbe, writing to the Rebbe, and the Rebbe giving you answers and advice? Do you go to his Ohel for these speaking/writing and find a note from him written upstairs in Shamayim and sent downstairs to you in your mailbox?”
Then good luck to you. Because I find such comments….harsh (your word). Not to mention sarcastic & disrespectful. But if he is stranded near my kids in the middle of Europe where they don’t speak English, Yiddish, or Hebrew (as my children & grandchildren do) he’ll be very happy to be helped by them until he can get back to his little narrow-minded enclave.
Joseph – having read a number of threads that originated from you, I have come to the following conclusions:
1. You need a job. Any job. Clearly, you are bored & lonely. This will give you less time to be an agent provocateur whose mission is to cause trouble on YWN
2. You are clearly anti Chabad… in fact, you are anti most things. Please refer me to a thread that YOU started that is praising anyone or any thing. Because I don’t recall any.
Now I can respond to your thinly-veiled sneers. I have 2 daughters on Shlichus, both in Europe. Their children are extremely frum and Chassidish – because their parents set strong examples. They know they can’t eat in other people’s homes & they are fine with it. Their mothers send them with their own party bags to birthday parties. Every time there is a Chabad Yom Tov they have their own farbrengens at home. They daven every day. Before bed, they daven, learn RamBam (I am talking about pre-bar/bat mitzvah) say Krias Shema etc. They get their own negel vasser (the oldest gets for the babies.) They say Tehillim daily. They are all tzanua, no matter the temperature. They are homeschooled/online Chabad school & they test way better than their peers. They go out of their way to help bring Yiddishkeit to old and young alike. And they do it all willingly, with great pride.
The ruchniyos is there. But there isn’t the gashmius that you probably see where you live; they don’t need it, they have everything they need and want, including toys, games, clothes, family time, schooling and camps. They are just as happy with clothes from Target as many kids are from the fanciest stores in Boro Park or Monsey…or Lakewood.
I really think it’s about time you & other posters who are resentful/intimidated/threatened by Chabad actually go visit an OTT Chabad House. Talk to the children, then maybe you will have the respect for us as you expect us to have for the Litvish/Yeshivish community.
I remember a friend telling me how proud she was that she accommodated all her SIL’s demands with their chumras over Pesach. She didn’t use this or that, not even for her unmarried kids…. I told her my SIL wouldn’t eat some things in my house, like things made with potato starch. And he was very insistent I shouldn’t make any alternatives or change my minhagim, he could see there was plenty to eat.
I thought my SIL was very respectful and hers weren’t. And he didn’t starve! (I did make some alternatives for him, because I wanted him to enjoy YT.) I certainly don’t think disrespect should be “rewarded”, but for sholom bayis I would let things slide.
I know kids who were OTD then returned in their early twenties. I know kids who are in their thirties now who are still OTD. Every situation is unique and needs to be dealt with sensitively & individually.
Generally, I would advocate welcoming them but asking them to keep their smoking, laptop & phone use in their rooms. As for clothing – again, it depends on the individual. But if a teen knows he is loved regardless and there is a connection with the home & family, there is a much greater chance of return.
One last thing… if a teen from a Chassidishe home decides to cut off his peyos, wear a kippa sruga, but still keep Shabbos & Kashrus, is he OTD? Or his he finding his own derech?