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@Sam2, the op said going for a work meeting, not going to drink with goyim.
Gotbeer- what you are saying makes no sense. Its pretty simple. There are way more “Europeans” or whites, or white Jews or non-Jewish whites applying to Harvard Law than there are places for them. The overall acceptance rate is around 15 or 16%. Being “European” doesn’t help to get you in, it makes it harder to get you in and makes it easier for them to keep you out.
I don’t know any shadchanim to recommend to you, but I wish you much luck. Have you considered any of the frum dating websites? I’ve heard good things. Your mileage may vary. In any event, you sound like a catch.
After high school I would usually have a snack and then start on my homework.
VM, while their backgrounds do vary, they do not have online undergraduate degrees.
If you do well, a degree from most of the CUNY schools is well respected and relatively affordable (depending on where you live).
If you’re going to college strictly for training in a profession, start with the profession, figure out what you need to study, research which schools have strong programs in that area, and then research if their graduates actually get jobs and interviews in that field.
This is just the opinion of some guy on the internet, but think of it this way, which would your bubby rather boast about, my grandchild the doctor, or my grandchild the energy healer? Do the math yourself.
Just some food for thought, but I’m not sure there’s anything to tell. You’re serving in the IDF in Israel and therefore maintaining some connection to the Jewish people. Its not like you’ve become a xtian or a muslim. As for what you truly believe in your heart, I don’t know that that needs to be shared, any more than one needs to share every time they have a feeling of just going through the motions, or occasional doubts, as lots of people have from time to time.
Also, I’m sure there are plenty of other websites for off the derech people that might give better advice than this website, where most of the people are generally on the derech in one form or another.
Golfer wrote:”heretohelp,
no, actually”
Me neither.
Are you concerned about halachic implications or just the idea of Jewish practices being on youtube?
chicken wings
I’d say you’re officially on one side when you’re throwing rocks at the other, or you’re riding a bus for more than an hour to protest the other side. Until then, you just have unofficial differences of opinion.
You know what they say about people who wear black hats, don’t you?
Look- I’ll confess. I’m pretty much a liberal democrat. I voted for Obama and don’t regret it. But I’m probably going to vote for Lhota. I don’t think DiBlasio is all that bad, but on the local level, his policies make no sense. The city has done great under Giuliani and Bloomberg. Under Dinkins and before, not so much. DiBlasio ran a primary campaign based on pie in the sky type of things that a local mayor has little to do with- ending income inequality. Sure, that’s a serious problem, but it is just a symptom of the national economy. Keeping hospitals open? Sure, I’d like to keep hospitals open, but the mayor doesn’t have a magic wand where a hospital that consistently loses money can stay open. And the most important thing in the city is to keep crime low. If crime ticks up, lots and lots of people leave and the city’s tax base disappears and it just becomes awful to live here. I remember how it was back in the day. For some reason, some new yorkers look back on the days of graffiti and crime fondly, but it was not good.
Even when we set aside issues about parnossah and supporting families, it is a very difficult issue. On the one hand, I see the concept of protecting one’s spiritual health by controlling the environment their in and limiting their exposure to certain types of material. On the other hand, it suggests to me something very weak about how we raise our children if we are so concerned that mere exposure to ideas will corrupt them. It is a very difficult issue.
Are you sure your kids will care how they met or even be interested in how they met? They met. They’re engaged. Do your kids ask you about how other couples met?
Anyway, there are some details missing from your story- what kind of website? A frum dating website? A Jewish website? They met. Not everyone meets through a shadchan. I mean, it sounds like you’re hinting at something inappropriate, but it isn’t clear what that is.
Absolutely. Its important to get yourself out there, to make it known that you are looking and what you can offer.
But a lot of the time, I think networking is misunderstood. In my mind, the key to successful networking is the concept of mutual benefit. It isn’t necessarily to go around saying you need a job. Rather, thoughtfully ask people about what they do, how they got into their business. Think about how you might be able to offer them something. Then you’ll develop a relationship and they’ll have you in mind when something comes up. Just shoving a resume in a stranger’s face usually doesn’t do anything.
Networking is important and helpful, but I think it is more helpful for people that need business or referrals or clients or something like that, rather than people who are simply looking for entry level jobs.
1) Who cares?
2) What does it matter when it is revealed in the ad? As yehudayona points out, it has impact at the end. Its an artistic/effectiveness choice.
@david wrote “because you HASHEM’S child
(what a stupid question )”
And an equally stupid answer. For starters, everyone is Hashem’s child. For another thing, that is not an accomplishment.
@david wrote “because you HASHEM’S child
(what a stupid question )”
And an equally stupid answer. For starters, everyone is Hashem’s child. For another thing, that is not an accomplishment.
Jfem02, I disagree completely.
First, where do you get 8 years vs. 3 years. Law school is 3 years, med school is 4. Are you counting college? Because law school applicants need college too, although some can do the BTL thing. Are you counting residency? Residency is paid, albeit not that much.
But back to your larger point- yes, the financial outlook might be better for someone on track to become a partner at a large wall street firm, but that discounts the reality that there are huge numbers of law school students who simply will never get jobs as lawyers. A select few will get jobs at big firms and either make it or burn out. Others will get low paying jobs, and many will never work as lawyers at all. In medicine on the other hand, there is a limited number of spots in schools and that correlates with a regulated profession where the schools are not pumping out more grads than the market can handle. Put another way, just about everyone who goes to medical school can work as a doctor. Not everyone will be in a lucrative orthopaedic surgical practice, but they will have steady, well paying jobs for as long as they like. Not so at all with lawyers. There’s an old joke- what do you call the person who finishes last in his medical school class? Doctor. Not so for law school. Yes, there are changes on the horizon for the medical profession, but that has been the case for at least the last 30 years.
Git Meshige- your neighbor whose children were fed treif by the nanny- did you offer to watch the kids? If Jewish day care is such an easy option, why don’t you point people in the right direction? Not everyone is as lucky as you. Try to help them.
I like, “tell me about your family.” I suppose this can feel a little unnatural or forced if prior to the date you’ve been told everything there is to know about his or her family by every yenta in town, but still, its a nice jumping off point.
There are no frum Jews who are “for” gay marriage. There may be frum Jews who think that as a matter of policy it is best to err on the side of allowing people’s personal decisions and choices to remain just that- personal. The same forces and principles that might decide that toeiva marriage should be illegal might also decide that certain methods of ritual slaughter should be illegal, or that certain rituals of circumcision should be illegal, so some deem it sensible to err on the side of having the state tolerate practices that personally we find objectionable.
If it bothers you so much why don’t you volunteer to take care of the kids you see being cared for this way. Alternatively, you could just give the family the salary that it earns from working and thus needing childcare. Then the mother could stay home.
Health- one of the most prominent xtian gay reparative therapy centers closed its doors and its leader issued an apology to the gay community for its treatment of them. Why would he do that? The liberal media?
Dr. Robert Spitzer, a noted psychiatrist recently apologized and recanted a study of his own that said that gay people can be cured with therapy? Why would he do that and tarnish his own scholarly reputation? The liberal media, I presume?
@Health-
We know what firsthand knowledge means. It seems you’re the one who’s confused. I suggest you follow your own advice and look it up.
@moi aussi- what is the difference between being gay and having gay thoughts?
A tabloid is a paper where the fold is vertical, like the NY Post, as opposed to the NY Times, where the fold is horizontal. So if it is a tabloid in disguise, its a very bad disguise.
@Health- I didn’t say it was simple. I said it was inapt and not useful. That’s not a good thing. Don’t be so proud.
I think most Poskim allow it as long as the elevator is generally public and anyone could summon and stop the elevator and enter it at any given time.
@Health- the analogy to the frum guy going into Burger King is maybe the least apt and least useful analogy there could possibly be.
Most reasonable people believe that punishing children for their parents’ mistakes is wrong, boorish and uncivilized. I don’t have specifics on what the Torah perspective on this would be, but it seems to jibe with most of how we do everything else.
takahmamash- what does that have to do with anything?
If he or she is thirsty.
I am skeptical of this story.
Its not that I don’t think chiloni can act like this, its that I have doubts that it happened as described.
PBA wrote: “That could make him a racist. (Or just a plain psycho murderer)
What is the word for people who decide to label people murderers based on no almost no evidence? I just need to know what we should call you.”
Some things you can call me are Not Naive, Clued In, or Living in Reality.
As for no evidence, I’m not sure what you mean by that. I’ve watched most of the trial and have seen plenty of evidence. Of course, characterizing and evaluating that evidence is a job for the jury, and I’m not on the jury, so what I think doesn’t matter. But this isn’t the jury room, this is the internet, where everyone’s got an opinion.
“Why do people think that Zimmerman is racist? Because of NBC’s doctored 911 call?”
Because he stalked and hunted down and stalked and killed an unarmed black teenager is what cinches it for me- combined with statements he made before (undoctored) to the non-emergency number operator and then later to Sean Hannity.
I don’t watch tv, so I’m not sure, but I don’t think those commercials are talking about animals who are just left alone to roam the streets, I think they are talking about animals who are affirmatively mistreated by their previous owners.
Most domesticated dogs and cats are bred to be pets. There aren’t supposed to be random dogs and cats roaming the streets. They belong in homes with people. For lack of a better term, they aren’t “naturally occurring” animals.
The first post is an obvious troll- ride a bike or take a job? Oh, wait, he probably meant take a jog.
DaasYochid, while there are standards of tznius that aren’t a “free for all” whether an individual woman follows them are her choice. She should, but we don’t stone them, throw bleach on them, beat them or kill them if they don’t. If you don’t want to marry them, invite them into your home, be friends with them, that’s fine.
And how did popa become such an expert on homosexuality?
When Europeans and other Goyim see people with black hats and beards protesting against Israel, they say to themselves “see, its ok for us to hate Israel and support its enemies, even some of them do.”
When you say at risk and off the derech do you mean less religious or do you mean doing drugs and/or other dangerous behavior that even secular people disapprove of?
I’m defending toeiva marriage? Really?
Because I disagree with Health’s legal analysis?
Please stop talking about beastiality. It is too disgusting to think about and not the issue here.
GAW- you fully expect that that be challenged as discriminatory? Really, because of all the people who’ve historically wanted to marry their children? As for two brothers “for health benefits” (whatever that means) yes, marriage of two brothers is blocked by the law I quoted. It states brother and sister but that does not mean that brother and brother is allowed- courts have interpreted it to mean that sibling marriage is not permitted. And why would this be all of a sudden and related to the recent rulings? Its been this was for a long time?
Why can’t you just say that you don’t approve of toeiva marriage because its contrary to the Torah and Hashem’s law and that we should build a society that even if not a theocracy, nonetheless stands up for basic morality and principles of Torah law. It has nothing to do with brothers marrying brothers, anyone marrying dogs or anything like that.
GAW wrote:
“What law prevents Christa Badger from “marrying” Jacqueline Mars (her mother) and thereby circumventing any and all estate taxes? And when it comes to money, people will try anything to not pay taxes. Here it might work (I’m not giving a tax opinion, ask your accountant).”
In New York State, New York State law prevents a mother from marrying her daughter. Every state has a similar law. And what does this have to do with the recent rulings- why weren’t mothers marrying sons and fathers daughters prior to the recent rulings?
For your reference, the NY law is Article II, Section 5 of New York’s domestic relations law.
I think the toeiva aspect of this has gotten you all riled up that you can’t think straight.
GAW wrote:
“It is not a “slippery slope argument”. It is a fantasic loophole in the tax code that could save families millions of dollars. I don’t expect these marriages to be “real”, but real enough for tax purposes (as the two parties do care for each other, etc.) that the IRS would have a hard time fighting it.”
It is not a fantastic loophole. It is impossible. Such a marriage is already illegal in New York and elsewhere. West Virginia I’m not so sure. The recent rulings have nothing to do with the ability to marry your children. Stop being ridiculous.
@benignuman wrote:
“heretohelp,
It depends on how you use the “slipperly slope” argument. Arguing because we allowed A we will allow B is unconvincing.
Arguing that just as you agree we can prohibit B, we can also prohibit A is a convincing argument.”
Only if A and B are similar. Nobody reasonable thinks that marrying a dog is similar to marrying a person, even if the person is a toievanik.
Use a mutual fund company that has low fees, like Vanguard, Fidelity or T.Rowe Price.
Slow and steady wins the race.