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Your parents want you to have some way of supporting yourself and your young wife when you get married. Reasonable enough. What are the alternatives-
You reject your parents advice and get married without a means of support. Doesn’t seem like a good idea to me, or a good way to start a marriage, but people have done that.
Date women who are able to support you and are committed to supporting you while you are in college and/or learning. I could be wrong, but those women might not be interested in dating a 20 year old, since they’re probably a little older, i.e., they’ve worked in a job that provides a decent enough salary to support a family and know they can keep doing it.
Win the lottery.
Be such a gem that a wealthy father in law says I just have to have you for my daughter and will support you indefinitely.
Some interesting points/questions.
But with respect to Israel as a safe haven for victims of the Holocaust, I don’t think of it that way. I think of it as a safe haven during the next Holocaust. When the next Hitler comes to power wherever that may be, there is a country where a Jew can go live, by law. Is it perfect? Of course not.
It is completely neutral. If you are a hatzolah volunteer and want to find someone who is ok with that and don’t want to find someone who is not ok with that, being a hatzolah volunteer will mean you won’t end up with someone who is not ok with that. On the other hand, the people who agree to go out with you will be ok with it. So it works out completely.
Charlie- that hasn’t happened. You’re right, we do need to sand with the Muslims here, but there isn’t really a legitimate threat. Some jurisdictions have passed silly nonsense laws that don’t do anything. The fact remains, private parties can contract to arbitrate their disputes however they want.
Yes. Sharia courts follow sharia law. A Beis Din follows Halacha. I know a little about Halacha and hardly anything about Sharia law.
What are you getting at?
bais yakov maidel -“health, are you a medical doctor?”
“I don’t answer private questions!”
I think we can take that as a no.
Streetgeek- I don’t really understand what you don’t understand. Do you not understand that marriage is a mitzvah? Or do you not understand why it is a mitzvah?
Ubiquitin- I was responding to Bais Yakov Maidel’s comment that to the best of her knowledge, Harvard is the only medical school that requires calculus.
I found this list of medical schools that require some form of calculus or math.
Medical Schools with Math Requirements
(from MSAR 2007-2008)
The following chart lists all of the schools that publish a requirement in math. If you do not find a school on this list, it is
because they do not have a math requirement.
Alabama
University of Alabama 2 semesters college math
Calculus recommended
Computer Science recommended
University of S. Alabama 2 semesters college math
Calculus is recommended
Arkansas
University of Arkansas 2 semesters college math
Calculus recommended
Computer Science recommended
California
USC Keck College math recommended
Calculus recommended
Computer Science recommended
UC Davis 2 semesters College level Mathematics
Statistics is recommended
UC Irvine 1 semester Calculus
1 semester Statistics
UCLA 2 semesters college math which should include:
Study of Introductory Calculus and Statistics
Computer Science recommended
UC San Diego 2 semesters college math (only Calculus, Statistics, and
Computer Science will be acceptable)
Computer Science recommended
Loma Linda Intro to Basic Statistics recommended
Computer Science recommended
Stanford University Calculus recommended
Colorado
University of Colorado 2 semesters college math
Computer Science recommended
Connecticut
U Conn Math, Calculus recommended
District of Columbia
Georgetown University 1 semester college math/statistics
Computer Science recommended
Howard University 2 semesters college math
Florida
Florida State University 2 semesters college math
University of South Florida 2 semesters college math
Georgia
Morehouse School of
Medicine
2 semesters college math
Illinois
Southern Illinois University 2 semesters college math recommended
U Chicago Pritzker Calculus recommended
Iowa
U Iowa 1 semester college math
Kansas
University of Kansas 1 semester college math
Kentucky
University of Louisville 1 semester Calculus
2 semesters math overall recommended
Louisiana
Louisiana State-NO 1 semester calculus recommended
2 semesters math overall recommended
Computer Science recommended
Maryland
Johns Hopkins University 2 semesters Calculus
Computer Science recommended
Uniformed Services University 1 semester Calculus
Massachusetts
Boston University 2 semesters Calculus recommended
Harvard University 2 semesters Calculus
U Massachusetts Calculus, Statistics recommended
Computer Science recommended
Michigan
Michigan State University Math through College Algebra or Statistics and Probability
Computer Science recommended
Minnesota
U Minnesota Duluth 1 semester Calculus or upper level Statistics
U Minnesota Minneapolis 1 semester Calculus
Statistics recommended
Mississippi
University of Mississippi 2 semesters college math
Calculus recommended
Missouri
U Missouri-Columbia 1 semester college math
Washington University 2 semesters Calculus
Nebraska
University of Nebraska 1 semester Calculus
Nevada
U Nevada-Reno Calculus, College Math recommended
Computer Science recommended
New Hampshire
Dartmouth Medical School 1 semester Calculus
New Jersey
Medical School
1 semester college math is recommended
Johnson
1 semester college math
New York
Albert Einstein College of
Medicine
2 semesters college math (may include Computer Science or
Statistics)
Mt. Sinai School of Medicine 2 semesters college math (may include Computer Science or
Statistics)
University of Rochester Calculus, Biostatistics recommended
SUNY-Upstate Calculus recommended
North Carolina
Brody School of Medicine Biostatistics recommended
Duke University 1 semester Calculus
1 semester college math (statistics/biostastics recommended)
North Dakota
University of North Dakota 1 semester college math
Computer Science recommended
Ohio
Medical College of Ohio 2 semesters college math
Northeastern Ohio Calculus, College math recommended
University of Cincinnati Calculus, College math recommended
Computer Science recommended
Wright State University 2 semesters college math
Calculus recommended
Oregon
Oregon Health & Science
University
1 semester college math
Statistics, Calculus recommended
Pennsylvania
Jefferson College Math recommended
Pennsylvania State University 2 semesters college math
Calculus recommended
U of Pennsylvania Knowledge of Calculus, Algebra, Statistics recommended
Computer Science recommended
University of Pittsburgh Strong background in math recommended
Puerto Rico
Ponce School of Medicine 2 semesters college math or trig
Universidad Central del
Caribe
2 semesters college math
Calculus recommended Computer Science recommended
U of Puerto Rico Computer Science recommended
Rhode Island
Brown University 1 semester calculus
South Carolina
Medical University of SC 1 semester Calculus is recommended
South Dakota
University of South Dakota 2 semesters of college math
Calculus recommended
Texas
Texas A & M 1 semester Calculus
1 semester math-based Statistics
Texas Tech 1 semester Calculus
1 semester math-based Statistics
U of Texas-Galveston 1 semester Calculus
U of Texas-Houston 2 semesters College Math
U of Texas-San Antonio 1 semester Calculus
U of Texas-Southwestern 1 semester Calculus
Utah
U of Utah Calculus, College Math recommended
Vermont
UVM College Math recommended
Virginia
Virginia Commonwealth
University
2 semesters College Math
Wisconsin
Medical College of Wisconsin 1 semester College Math
University of Wisconsin 2 semesters College Math
Calculus, Statistics recommended
Why is there pressure to get married sooner rather than later is a different question from why get married at all.
If you accept the premise that you should get married at some point, the pressure to do it now probably comes from the sometimes correct and other times mistaken that doing it earlier will result in a better marriage. That’s sometimes correct, as I think it is easier for younger people less set in their ways to fuse together and build a household together. If one of both is not ready though, it is a recipie for disaster.
So to answer the question why is there so much pressure from your parents to get married, it is because that is what parents do, have always done and will always do.
disregard
Yeah, what’s inappropriate? Questions are not inappropriate.
“Married is a good way to live a life
heretohelp: Depends on who you ask.”
Hashem and his Torah? Good enough source for me.
To go to medical/dental school you need to have taken calculus, biology, chemistry, physics and organic chemistry, so if those aren’t covered in your BTL, you need to get them elsewhere.
What’s the point of anything? Married is a good way to live a life, Hashem gave us marriage and told us to do it. That doesn’t mean everything is wonderful all the time. Why should it?
To get back to the original post, which had nothing to do with law school or medical school, I would think that to get into the type of program you are talking about you would have to demonstrate the ability to do a college level research paper, which has two components- research ability and writing ability. I don’t know that a BTL would demonstrate that.
First, let me say I don’t think anyone did anything wrong here. I don’t think the OP did anything wrong, but I also don’t understand with the people who are so quick to jump on this Rabbi as someone who probably compromises on basic halacha.
But with that out of the way, there’s something that puzzles me about this whole situation. The OP states that she was having a conversation with this Rabbi about building community with other frum people that live nearby. Was she in this conversation unwillingly? Was this conversation adversarial? I mean, let’s build community with other nearby frum people and I don’t eat in other people’s homes seem like two opposite thoughts. Eating together, sharing a meal together- its one of the basic building blocks of community. Offering someone something to eat- its basic manners. I’m not at all suggesting that anyone compromise their kashrus, but if you start from the premise that you don’t eat in other people’s homes, I mean, the rest of the conversation about building community has got to be pretty short, right?
“Yes, I do”
Then why don’t you just say that instead of asking questions?
Is it really for any of us to say? I’m not his Rebbe and he isn’t mine. I don’t see what can come of this discussion other than lashon hora and the satisfaction of bashing someone you deem to be inferior. I suggest that it close.
As for law schools differentiating which Beis Medrash is better than another, I doubt that they do that, mostly because it is hard to measure.
“Why? They could have a professor in the school who learned in yeshiva and knows the difference. Why would they not ask him to look at the transcripts and see if he can stereotype what kind of learner you are?”
If you have any reason to believe that law school admissions committees actually function that way, then that is good for applicants from Yeshivas. I don’t have any evidence of that kind of conduct though.
What is it you need help with? You need to have a bachelors and take the lsat. The higher your score, the better. As for law schools differentiating which Beis Medrash is better than another, I doubt that they do that, mostly because it is hard to measure. My two cents is that it would be best to go to a mainstream college and get a top GPA to go with a top LSAT score. But if you have other reasons for not doing that, well, its your life, more power to you. Go to the best law school you possibly can. If you don’t get into a T-14, and have to take on debt to go, think long and hard. And it doesn’t matter how much law interests you if it doesn’t put food on the table. I’m not talking about getting rich, I’m talking about being able to get any job at all. Google “bi-modal salary distribution.”
What makes you think that there are any intelligent people who are part of it?
When you’re a teenager you walk a delicate path of following your parents and figuring out who you are. You have a long time to develop and grow into who you want to be. It is good to have goals and aspirations about what kind of life you’d like to live, but at the same time, there’s no reason to “despise” any of your parents’ past choices for you.
Everything that happens to you in the past is part of making who you are in the present and future. Do your best to grow and pursue the path you want while at the same time honoring your mother and father and preserving shalom bais and strong family relationships no matter how different you may eventually become. It may not seem like it now, but one day, if you have a family and are much more strict than your parents and live in a different type of community, if you’re all shomer shabbos and strict in your kashrus, you’ll realize that perhaps you’re not quite that different and that it is good to maintain strong relationships with family.
You’ve got a long time to become who you want to be. When you’re a teen, you follow your parents. They’ve given you plenty to be grateful for- you could have been born to a secular family and been sent to public school and fed bacon cheeseburgers. And yet, many balei teshuva can maintain decent relationships with their family, inspire them and grow on their own.
I think that what people make fun of, or point out, or criticize, is when someone is very frum or strict in one area but completely lacking in another basic area, e.g., they are extremely makpid on kosher, but lacking in basic chesed, or they pay special attention to being tznius in their own dress while speaking lashon hora about how other people dress. Not saying it is right, but I think that’s what draws people to “make fun” of people who are supposedly “on a higher level.”
But akumpera, you’ve neglected to talk about arafat, the only important issue ever.
Abraham Lincoln- never denounced Arafat!
With a few notable exceptions, these comments display an alarming amount of ignorance, sheer stupidity and racism. They are an embarrassment to the “Yeshiva World.” Glad I left. Sorry I came back.
The good writers already publish secular- Philip Roth, Saul Bellow, etc.
could the op please write in English and explain what is the problem?
I completely agree with frumnotyeshivish’s characterization of the op, but putting that aside, my understanding is they’re completely different. Facebook is facebook, which I’ve been on. I’ve never used instagram, but I understand it to be a way to share photos. Is there something wrong with photos now?
If you think you should go to college and there is a girl or family out there who thinks college is bad, she isn’t really a good match, is she? In that sense, it makes shidduchim easier, you find someone who has the same values as you.
This affect his shiduchim chances thing cracks me up.
Tell me about this boy? Well, he’s got no chance of ever earning a living. Oh my goodness shadchan, tell me more, how come he isn’t taken already? Well, I’ve been told he can’t even write a proper english sentence.
Seriously, where is the next generation of wealthy father in laws going to come from? The days of becoming well off from owning a shmata shop on the LES are long since over.
apushatayid, you beat me to it.
Is it just me, or do some find it ridiculous that others care what someone has on their tefilin bag?
My son can whistle the alphabet backwards? Any suggestions for where I should send him.
Kollel Wife- will your family unit be broken down by it?
You can’t protest what other people do in their most private relationships. Some people think that infant circumcision is barbaric? But you know what, people have a zone of privacy how to run their own life. Don’t do it for yourself and you’ll be fine. And don’t tell me about living in a society without morals, the goyim, lower, blah blah blah. In the U.S., Jews get to leave work early on Friday and now gays can marry each other. That’s how it is.
Listening in on other people in their worst moments of fear and danger for a thrill? Yeah, what’s wrong with that?
Sarcasm^
You have to be organized and manage your time properly. Treat them both like jobs.
I make 3 million a year and still have time to goof around here in the coffee room. Nice work if you can get it, I know.
I self-identify as an indian chief, but that doesn’t mean I actually am an indian chief.
That principal was incorrect.
A professional that you or your family knows might be a good place to start.
So now its immoral to not be married?
As for Hollywood lifestyle, I don’t know what you’re talking about. There are no stories of Booker cavorting with different women, doing drugs, etc. To the extent he is famous it is because he is a politician. Hello! To the extent he seeks even greater fame, it is to advance his political career.
How to win an election- step 1, people should recognize your name instead of going who?
Booker’s life may not be what you want for your Jewish children, that’s fine. And you might disagree with his politics, also fine. But he isn’t a bad guy. Rather, as far as I can tell, he’s something of a mensch- he rushed into a burning house on his street to help save the people inside.
The idea that a politician supports “Torah values” is interesting. Are they really supporting Torah values if they are doing so by accident? I don’t think Steve Lonegan cares one lick for the Torah, or Jews for that matter one way or the other (I’m not saying that he’s anti-semitic at all, please don’t misunderstand). So, there are Torah values contained in the Torah, and there are frum Jews who follow the Torah and also listen to Mark Levin and Rush Limbaugh (pretty sure there’s nothing wrong with that) on the radio and adopt their politics and in this instance, their politics dictate that one support Lonegan over Booker, so Lonegan is now the Torah candidate? I get it, but its a little odd because many of the so-called Torah candidates are also the Je$u$ candidates.
Its his accomplishments that are celebrated, not necessarily his personal qualities. He was an important explorer in world history. No big mystery. Also, an Italian-American lobby has made it something of a day of Italian pride (even though he flew under the Spanish flag).
Legit?
No way. In my opinion, aside from common sense, it is illegitimate at least because of dina di malchusa as well as chillul Hashem.
But I’m just some guy with an internet connection, not a Posek.
One of the more disgusting threads I’ve read in a while. Mods, since nobody seems to have any information about shadchan’s for people from broken homes, and this has degenerated into just making negative comments about people based on circumstances beyond their control, I suggest it be closed.
For the record, I know many people from so-called broken homes who are wonderful people with wonderful middos, and plenty others from “good homes” who are obnoxious jerks severley lacking in mentschlekeit.
Every single one of them has an extensive secular education and is deeply involved with secular education. Their lives have been devoted to secular studies- science in particular. At least one of them served in the Israeli army.
What do we think of these things? One day, we’re here touting and taking pride in their accomplishments (as if we had something to do with it), the next day we’re deriding anyone who might decide that college is more their thing than the Beis Medrash. It gets very confusing.
Why do we care?
Straightalk- I’m curious, what medical school did you go to? Where did you do your fellowship in oncology? And what studies have you conducted and what articles have you published on your findings? I’d like to learn more.
Everyone’s home is a little broken. In some the breaks are just a little more visible than in others.
I think the premise of this question is flawed- what do you mean there was no mention of it, by who? Or by whom?