As a father of a couple of colicky babies (some of them are in their teens already), I can feel for you. We let our babies cry themselves to sleep. It takes a lot of perseverance,and is not for the faint of heart, but it definitely pays off. I know it doesn’t sit well with your wife, but getting a good set of earplugs (at least for her) will help you – and your baby (I can’t imagine that a baby who only takes small catnaps can be happy) – immensely.
Good luck.